POV - Kyas
"I could stop you." Alpha said. "I could command you not to hurt him, or anyone in the pack."
'Wouldn't work. Not possible.' I told him.
"What?!" Said the whole room.
The shift ticked all the way forward.
'Let me tell you how this goes,'
'Hurting someone is subjective. It depends on the person being hurt and my own determination on what will hurt them. I could reasonably determine that a pinch wouldn't hurt my best friend, or a punch wouldn't hurt a pack warrior.
I could determine that a playful pat wouldn't hurt a child, but what if it did? Maybe my pat lands on an unknown injury.
If I determine that a full beatdown wouldn't hurt Elias because of the lesson he'll learn from it, the command won't stop me.
You could stop me from even touching someone, but then you damage me and my ability to maintain the bonds, because people need to be touched, myself included. A hug when they are sad, a touch on the shoulder when they are unsure, a pat on the back when they've done well.
If you interfere with my ability to maintain the bonds, you become the threat. I would probably challenge you. You would win, but then your son is dead again, this time for real, and permanently, and really your fault. You would not survive it, and Elias becomes Alpha.' I stated.
The room went speechless. Alpha turned pale.
"You're saying there's nothing I can do to stop this, if he hurts someone?" Alpha said softly.
'You can't stop me from keeping my promise, but you can stop me from taking it too far.' I tell him.
"How?" Alpha asked.
'You can command me not to kill.' I said.
He went paler still. "You would do that? But you're a gamma, preservation is what you're all about." He said.
'Sometimes to a fault. It's the last thing I'd want to do, but if the threat is high enough, such as someone with no bonds that can hurt someone innocent, it could go that far. Especially in a fifteen year old that does not yet know my own limits.' I explained.
"Why would a command not to kill, work better than telling you not to hurt someone?" Eileen asked.
'Killing is not subjective. A person is either dead or they are not. Killing is absolute. There is no middle ground.' I said.
I addressed Alpha.
'Alpha, such a command is not easy, not on someone like me who is hard wired to my bones and blood to know no limits on what I will do for those I love, to keep this obsession safe. It will take a lot to make it stick.' I warn him.
Alpha was still pale. I was about to make it worse.
He's brave though - he asked the hard question anyway. "Define 'a lot'." He said.
'Do you remember the induction ceremony night, in your office, when I couldn't physically move from the wall?' I asked.
He nodded.
'And the first day of punishment when I nearly called you Master?' I asked.
He flinched, but nodded.
'It has to go that far. Body and mind, you have to get me that far. Not gonna lie, you may even have to beat me for it. I hope not, REALLY hope not, but you might. And then you have to go full force with the command. You have to stamp it on my soul Alpha.' I said.
Alpha was literally shaking. "You're actually telling me that I have to take you, my son, down to a pack slave again." He said. "You've come so far, son. You want me to undo that?"
'Alpha,' I said softly. 'I'm telling you how to stop me from being something worse.'
He took a shaky breath, and nodded. "Do I have to? Is it absolutely necessary?" He asked.
I sighed. 'Alpha, I don't want to do it anymore than you do. I would love to say no, but the person currently in the most danger from me is Elias. His bonds are black, he's already been responsible for endangering the pack once, and he has my promise. I don't want to hurt him, Believe me I don't, I love him so much, but the gamma side of me won't let him hurt the pack again. Then there's the fact that I'm still just fifteen, have the capacity for a hot temper and am easily provoked to rage when my pack is involved. Not doing it could mean the difference between having both of us alive or not.'
Truth time.
'There is a bright side, though, if you can call it that.' I said.
"A bright side? To all that?" Clara said, tears down her face.
The shift pulled back twice. Honesty from me, not the Gamma.
'Yeah,' I said. 'Um.. it won't take as much as you think. To get me there. And it won't hurt the progress with my bonds.'
"What are you saying Kyas?" Darcy asked.
'Yeah, so... I've made a lot of friends, built a ton of beautiful bonds, but... that's external. Which is why the command can't hurt that. Internally... nothing much has changed. I avoid it. Avoid ME as much as possible, because it's all jumbled and confusing and scary. I'm sorry, Papa, but there's still not that much to break down. I've only been a real person since I joined the pack, which I still don't really think is true, and I'm still Not dealing with it.' I confessed.
The shift ticked up once. They need to know all of it.
'There's one more thing you need to be aware of. It's not necessarily bad, but it needs to be known.' I advised.
Alpha physically tensed. "What?"
'If we do this, Chaos and I will be physically incapable of killing Anything. Not a mouse, not a chicken, not a rogue. We will be able to help, we will be able to disable, knock down and fight if needed, but never land a killing blow. On hunts, we will be able to chase and catch, but never kill prey. "He wouldn't kill a fly" will literally be true for us.' I informed them.
"Kyas... I really don't want to do this. I don't even want to think about hurting you like that." Alpha said.
The shift ticked back. Just me.
'Alpha,' I laughed shaking, 'I don't want to either, but I think he's in real danger from me. There...um...might be a way that you don't have to do it, that could be better in the long run.'
"I bet I know where this is going." Jasper said.
"What is it?" Basil asked.
'Let Elias do it.' I said.
"What?" Asked Harvey.
'I love Elias, I'm desperate to help him, same as with everyone. He's got so much pent up anger and jealousy toward me, it wouldn't be hard to provoke him. He could get me there easy, and it might help him to get it out.' I offered.
With cold dread and a resigned sigh, Alpha asked, "When?"
'I need to be human, so the next full moon would be best, get it over with.' I said.
Papa looked at me through Chaos with wet eyes. "Kyas, I really don't want to do this."
My heart was hurting for us both.
'I don't either, Papa. But I would rather go through this, than regret every second that we didn't.