POV - Kyas
I got woken up from sleep by getting blocked. Just the absence of everything. Nothing is broken, the bonds are present and strong, but there's always... background noise. The sights and sounds that Chaos experiences in the natural course of his day, the indirect hum of the pack link. Now it's just... silence.
The worst thing about waking up like that is not knowing why, or how long. Just the Nothing. It doesn't hurt, yet it kind of does. Like closing a window, the world still exists outside, but the air is gone. Maybe it's just that way for me because I live for my connections. Just thinking about what my life was like without them before the pack...Goddess I'm amazed I survived.
I... try not to think about before the pack, because I start to feel... not ok. I've always just accepted the things that happened as justified because I was not a real person then. A nobody. But then the questions start. Am I a person? If so…When did I become a person? Have I always been one? If I was a person, why did my pack treat me that way, like I wasn't? Why did Elias…
The block opened and I could see again, and found us in a meeting room, with the elders. Uh oh, I think I'm in trouble.
"Hi Kyas." Papa said.
'Hi..uh..Alpha.' I said back. Pretty sure this is an "Alpha mode" situation.
"We're here to talk about what happened with Elias." Alpha said. "We have open pack link in this room only."
A shift happened inside me, again, like a light with more than one setting. Each shift brings more focus. Like in Papa's office. The way I felt and my answers became more resolute, more absolute and clear. I became very sure of what I would and would not do.
'Yes, Alpha.' I said. Ready to answer.
"Kyas," said Eileen, "Alpha asked you if you were trying to command Elias, were you?"
The shift ticked back. I smiled.
'No, Elder, I was trying to show him that we are not having fun with Papa, we are having punishment. He doesn't need to be jealous. I was demonstrating why.' I said.
The shift ticked forward.
'His jealousy is getting dangerous, it put the pack at risk.' I said. A warning.
The elders exchanged looks. They heard the difference as I felt it.
"Would it surprise you to know that Elias responded to them? He wasn't just doing what you said, he was actually following real commands from you?" Asked Clara.
The shift ticked back. What?
'No way, I can't do that. I wouldn't even if I could, I know Very well how that feels, it's not fun.' I looked at Alpha. 'No offense, Alpha.'
He chuckled, "None taken."
"Unfortunately, young man," Jasper said, "after review of the video from that night, we have determined that Elias was actually being commanded by you. He followed every instruction, and could not break the last one, where you made him stay in his room."
What?? That's not possible...but if it was…
'I don't know if that's true, it shouldn't be true, but if it is I really didn't mean to.'
The shift ticked forward and I addressed Alpha again.
'I will not apologize for my promise, but I will apologize to Elias for this, if true. I did not intend to do that.' I told him.
Alpha nodded. "It is true. We're not sure why, but Elias was commanded to stay where you left him, and Gamma Chris didn't do it. You were the only person giving commands in his room. I had to release him for you."
'I'm very sorry, Alpha. I know that it is not my place to do that, and was not aware that I could.' I responded.
"Kyas," Basil said, "were you angry at the time? Perhaps you can only do it when angry."
'I'm sorry, Elder, but I WAS reacting from anger. His responses had no care for anyone but himself and each one made me angrier. I'm afraid I did lose my temper. I was Very angry when I tried to show him that. However, now that I know I could, it is not likely I would try when not angry, so I couldn't tell you if anger is required.' I responded.
Alpha tapped his pen.
"Kyas, I told you once before that you need to experience anger to learn to control it, but controlling other people wasn't thought to be a concern. I still stand by that, you need experience, but you also said you will submit to Alpha commands that I deem necessary." He said.
'I did Alpha, I still mean that.' I said.
"I'm going to stop you from doing that, then" he said, "until you have a bit more experience and we know we can trust your judgment." He said.
'I will submit, Alpha.' I confirmed.
"Kyas," said Darcy, "Now we have to address the thr-promise you made to Elias. "
The shift ticked forward. I needed to make myself very clear - they need to know what I'm capable of, how far I will go.
"You told him you would seriously hurt him." Said Clara, "Do you think that was necessary?"
'I do.' Simply stated.
The exchanged glances again.
"Would you actually hurt him? He's your brother, your twin." Asked Basil.
'As I said to Beta Chris, the pack's welfare as a whole is more important than one brat, and if that brat is a danger to the pack, it must be stopped. If my promise isn't enough, keeping it is next. Yes, I would, brother or not.' I said.
"Why do you think that level of violence, the intent to beat him bloody, was necessary to thre-promise him with?" Asked Atticus.
'This boy just allowed an entire pack to face potential starvation because he couldn't get his head beyond his own selfish jealousy. Team building punishment can't get through to him. The object of his obsession can't get through to him. He won't let the pack get through to him, he blocked them all.
Because he blocked them all, Alpha punishment won't touch him. Throw him in the dungeons? Reject him from the pack? He's practically done that himself and continues to blame others, namely me, for all of his perceived injustices.
You would have me promise what? A stern conversation? Take away his toys for real? His only concern is himself, so I made a promise about something he actually cares about.' I stated.
"So," Alpha said, " you didn't just say that because you were angry."
'No, I based my promise on the level of his own threat to the pack.' I responded.
"You really think it's that bad?" Clara asked.
'Elder, if we don't find a way to get through to Elias, he's going to hurt someone or himself seriously. It is that bad. His bonds have all gone black. He is becoming everything he hated his father for.' I said.