The fire that surrounded him started to dissipate, but the smell lingered.
Aethon jump forward, screaming and breathing heavily. His chest heaved like he had been running through smoke, and the sweat made his clothes cling to his skin. The bed sheet that he was sleeping on was damped and twisted. His hands were shaking as he raised them infront of his face.
The only word that had filled his head was Blood.
He stared at his hands, willing them to be clean, but the sensation just wouldn't fade. He could still hear their screams for help, the feeling of bones been crushed in his palms, and the soft whisper of Mai's voice as she was killed.
Not this time, she said. That echo. That lie.
He dragged his breath and let it out shakily, with his eyes darting around his room. Faint moonlight leaked through the windows slot, which illuminated the banner of house Lunaris that was on his dressing table. The Moon shaped sigil of his bloodline gleamed of the banner.
He said in a low pitched voice, :"This was reality. The dream wasn't. It wasn't. And yet... I have this feeling of guilt, like I was the one who was responsible for everything, but at the same time I enjoyed it. Was I the reason that everyone died? Why would I dream about something like that?"
Aethon got off the bed and walked to the sink in the bathroom. He splashed cold water onto his face and looked up at the mirror above the sink and froze.
The reflection didn't match his. Not exactly.
The reflection had lighter blue eyes and had no scar on his left cheek. He looked relieved, almost as if he'd just let go of something unbearable. The reflection smiled back at Aethon.
Aethon stepped back, scared, confused, while his heart started to beat faster and faster.
The reflection moved with him, but the expression remained wrong.
Aethon blinked once. Then twice.
After the third blink the reflection changed back to his face. Scar on the left cheek, and darker blue eyes then the reflection had. All that Aethon saw was his hollow stare and he exhaled.
Aethon thought to himself, :"What the hell just happend?!?."
He dressed into his training robes which were black and silver, the colors of dusk,and stepped out into the corridor. As he walked towards the moon hall, he looked up to see the rise of the sun which gave the sky a red orange color, and only the quiet hum of mana bound flames that were slowly dimming gave life to the air.
As he passed the Moonhall, which were lined up with portraits of his ancestors, he stopped to stare at his grandfather, Thaleon the Emberwright, and his brother, Kaelith, who was known as the Pale Star . As he stepped back he looked at them all, turned around and began to walk away. He thought to himself, :"All of them died believing their legacy meant something." Aethon stopped turned around and glared at his brother's portrait and continued to walk away with only one thought, :"Did you get what you wanted I wonder?".
As Aethon walked out of the Moonhall his eyes caught the attention of a girl that was crouching on the ground in the courtyard.
She was near the water, feeding bits of dried meat to a shadow fox that had looked like it was from the nearby animal sancuatry for tamers. As he got closer to the girl he realised it was Mai.
He paused and began to swallow hard has his throat started to feel dry.
Mai turned around and noticed him. Before he could say anything she got up from crouching and said in a loud voice, :"You're up early?."
Aethon didn't reply and walked to towards the fountain and stared at his reflection.
No strange face stared back at him. All he saw was himself. Tired, dark blue eyed seventeen year old self staring back at him.
"I had a dream." he said.
Mai still feeding the fox said, :"You? Dreaming? Wow what a shock, I guess even you dream just like everyone else does."
"It wasn't just a dream." said Aethon.
Mai stopped feeding the fox and looked at him. Aethon didn't answer right away. He couldn't find the right words.
He looked down at his hands. They were clean but still shaking. The blood wasn't there but it might as well been.
" There was this version of me...standing in fire. Confused and overwhelmed with guilt, yet he still felt happy while the world burned away."
His voice cracked as he turned to look her in the eyes. "You looked like a child. And then you died infront of my eyes...and... I didn't do anything... I didn't move... I just... Watched. For some reason my body wouldn't move."
Aethon looked up at the rising sun.
"I woke up and thought... It felt real Mai. Like I'd done it before. Like I remembered it. I felt joy in watching the world burn, but at the same time I felt guilt."
Mai stared at Aethon and said, :"Maybe it's your guilt trying to teach you something."
"Maybe it's something else. I keep on having this dream at first I thought I was just over thinking it but the more times I kept having this dream the more I began to remember, sure some times it was different, in some I was taller and older, while in others I had a white mask on and the rest of the time I had a black and white wing but the end result was always the same... The world infront of me burnt to ash has I felt both guilt and joy. "
Aethon sat down on the fountain and looked at the cement floor and said with a cracked voice, :"I'm... Disturbed, not scared because apart of me felt satisfaction. I feel like I'm seeing different versions of myself in my sleep and feeling what there feeling. One feels guilt for not saving everyone, the other feels pleasure from seeing everyone die and the next one feels both guilt and pleasure. I... Don't understand... I just don't. "
Mai stood infront of Aethon and was about to speak but Aethon beat her to it.
" I don't want to feel that way but in that moment... I wasn't sad that you died, nor was I angry. All I could fell was that something was right... Like that version of you had to die for some reason." He clenched his fist. "That's not me... That can't be me... I've had both my eldest brother, your friend die last year and my mother as well, and at the start of this year my friend Clint died due to been stabbed by a slave. HAHAHAHA....hahahha...ahhhh,i feel like everyone I know is dieing and going some place far away from me, like there trying to get away from...me." Aethon looked up at Mai and said, :"Please don't leave me too."
Mai turned to look at the fox who had now focused it's attention to Aethon as if sensing his turmoil.
Mai sat next to him, :"You've been training too hard," she said. "No rest or sleep. Maybe your mind is starting to slowly break, along with the fact that 3 people you know passed away, 2 of which were family members, so maybe the reason that you are seeing these different versions of yourself is because your hoping that you can maybe... I don't know change certain things that have happened, or kill everyone who refused to help heal your mother when she was sick, or maybe kill the slaves who broke free and stabbed Clint in his stomach. Our brains sometimes portray our deepest desires in our dreams, so maybe that's why you are having these dreams and why you are seeing different versions of yourself. Maybe it's because you want to change the things that happened to all 3 of them. You need to talk to the academies concellor instead of keeping everything inside, and if you don't feel comfortable with her then you can always talk to me. Stop telling yourself that you could have done something, because you couldn't have. Sometimes there are things that are just out of our control, even if we don't like the outcome. In time, you will accept it because time doesn't heal anything, instead it teaches you to live with the pain, and that's fine. That pain serves a purpose, that been that knowing that they are not here makes you feel sad, empty, hollow and even depressed. It goes to show what they meant to you. And you should be grateful you had such bonds with them. Most people would kill to have these feelings and longing for a dead loved one because they have no one."
" Aethon when a person dies what do they leave behind? "
" I don't know. "
" Come on really think about it. What. Do. They. Leave. Behind. Huh?"
Ahhh... Emptiness for the person who knew them and was close with them."
"No. When a person dies, they leave behind memories that they shared with the people they interacted with throughout there lives. These memories serves as an anchor, that they existed, that they lived. It's the very essence of their soul. That is the thing they leave behind for us to remember them. All the memories you share with them. Those are the things you should cherish the most. Never forget that. Never. Look maybe my explanation is not the best, but that's how I interpret it."
She put her hand on his forearm.
" Whatever that dream was... It wasn't real."
Aethon who let out a heavy sigh, chuckled and said, :" Maybe your right... And I know that deep down they won't be coming back and that there was nothing I could have done to save them. I know. Tch! I... Know,but apart of me wishes that there was something I could have done. And having to accept that they are gone is hard... It really is, but I'm sure in time that I will accept it... I don't know how long that will take, but I have to accept that this is reality."
After saying this, Aethon slowly raised his head and looked up at the sky and hoped that what Mai said was true, but the feeling of guilt, confusion, and sadness didn't subside.