In the silence I start to get lost in my thoughts. Thinking. I don't usually do too much of that. I hate overcomplicating things. It's so stupid… although that's probably why I make such bad decisions. I ask Star if he wants to go out onto the roof for a little. I need the fresh air; I don't like staying inside for a long time. It makes me feel trapped. Star agrees and I take him out of our temporary apartment and up the fire escape. As we step out onto the roof, Star strips and falls into me. I catch him and we laugh it off.
"Sorry…" He whispers. I take him over near the edge of the roof, looking out over the city. The lights are on at night. It's very pretty.
"Do you like it?" I ask.
"Another great view," answers Star referring to earlier today at the lake. He stands dangerously close to the edge, so I bring him back to me a little bit.
"Heh… you have no fear of heights," I smirk. I frown and my smirk fades. "Hm?"
"It's not the fear of heights… it's the fear of wanting to jump," he tells me.
"Then why did you go so close to the edge?" I ask quietly. Star doesn't answer. "Hug?"
"Yes please…" Star whispers. I hug him. We decide to stay on the roof for a while. I go back to get a blanket, not leaving Star by himself. I make him come with me. I also get some snacks. Star likes lollies and I liked chips in that moment. So, we take up a mix of both. He's probably tired but wants to come with me to the roof anyway.
"I'll just sleep on you if I get tired," he jokes as we ascend the stairs again. I smile. Once we get back to the roof, we set up. Star snuggles in next to me. Maybe I'm growing on him. We watch the advertisements on a nearby building for a while. They are showing an advertisement for balloons that blow themselves up. So stupid, how does that even work. They don't explain. Star laughs to himself.
"Mm? happy today?" I ask. Then I regret it. Star frowns.
"Ah… I don't know, it's not that simple," he tells me.
"Sorry…" I reply and ruffle his hair. He smiles at that. Good.
…
I watch Star lying in a patch of white flowers, his expression seems happy, calm. I go over to him, to watch him. I realise that he's not breathing. Fog surrounds us and his hand grabs my arm suddenly, claws growing on his fingers digging into me. Drawing blood. His eyes are open, the colour from them gone. He screams:
"I hate you!"
I awake with a start, my nightmares fading slowly as tho they are trying to haunt me even when I'm awake. What was that? I frown. Star has his head resting on my shoulder. We must have fallen asleep. I try not to wake him as I move towards the door. I fail.
"Demon?" Star asks sleepily. I walk back over to him.
"Morning sleepy," I say, "I was about to make breakfast." Star smiles.
"Can I watch you," he asks.
"Mm okay," I tell him. We both get ready for the day and then head to the kitchen. For some reason Star brushed his teeth before breakfast. "Wouldn't your food taste weird?" I ask him. He just shrugs without saying anything. I make us both some toast, and hand Star a banana. Star sits at a stool watching me make breakfast.
"You know… you're such a good cook," Star tells me.
"You already told me that," I laugh, "plus I'm barely doing anything, it's just toast."
"Still…" Star smiles.
"Tell me something your good at," I say taking a deep breath.
"But you already know everything…" Star complains. I do know most things about him, from watching him. Fuck, why am I so obsessive?
"I want to hear it from you," I tell him.
"Fine…" huffs Star. He takes a while to speak. Probably thinking. Surely, he can think of something. As messed up as he is I can think of so many things. "I don't know," Star says after a minute. The toast pops up from the toaster.
"Think again," I say.
"But…" Star starts slowly, "why?"
"No buts, I won't give you your food until you think of something," I say.
"Well, I'm fine with that," replies Star without much thought.
"Star," I say, my voice firm.
"Fine. I can draw," Star says with a shrug.
"Wait really… I bet your so good, I need to see one day," I say with a smile.
"Shut up, you probably knew this," Star laughs.
When I'm finished making breakfast, I put a plate in front of Star and sit down next to him.
"Thanks," he says. He has finished the banana, probably the worst thing to eat after brushing his teeth. I try not to laugh, because for some reason it's funny to me. "What?" Star asks.
"Nothing," I say looking away trying to hide my smile.
"You're so handsome when you smile," says Star suddenly.
"Huh?" I say startled. I feel butterflies in my stomach. Fuck. Star laughs.
"Mhm."
"Shut up…" I mumble. I take his plate as he is finished. Star goes to brush his teeth again. Weirdo. As I take the plates to the kitchen I notice a note on the bench, how didn't I notice it before? I realise it's covered in blood. It reads:
Found you
All the bad things that could possibly happen flow through my mind all at once. Anything could happen. Star could get shot again. I could lose it and do something bad, something that could make Star really hate me. And I could lose Star… I hear a scream.
"Demon!" I panic and run to the bathroom. In that moment I really do feel like a demon.