So when I was in college, I found this guy cute. Let's call him Ryan. Not my usual type, but something about him made me curious.
He was a film student. And the way he held a camera? Like it was some extension of his body. The way he spoke about cinema in a serious, intense, and borderline pretentious manner — it amazed me at first. I won't lie, I was intrigued..
I had this one girl in my circle, Lila. She was a mutual. I told her I wanted to talk to Ryan and without blinking, she goes,
Lila: "Oh, go for it. He's totally single."
And I believed her. Because why would she lie?
Lila's always been a nice girl. She is pleasant, easy to get along with, and honestly, just pretty average when it comes to academics. I've always done better in that department, being the class topper and all. We've been on good terms since day one of college, though we didn't talk much initially because we were in different sections.
But while she is a decent friend, she has this major pick-me energy. She constantly seeks male attention and validation, and it's painfully obvious. She'll casually drop lines like, "I just think girls are too dramatic, guys make way better friends." And then she'll go out of her way to hang around this group of boys who, ironically, are more dramatic than any woman I've ever met.
Anyway, Ryan and I started talking. Just casually at first — a message here, a joke there. It went on for two months. And I'll be honest, I quickly realized I was way out of his league. Like, I'm not even saying that to sound cocky. He wasn't interesting. He barely knew how to hold a conversation. But for whatever reason, I kept talking to him. Maybe I was bored. Maybe I wanted to see where it goes. Maybe I liked how my ego felt around him.
[Plot twist]
Somewhere in that timeline, I figured it out.
Lila — our sweet, smiling Lila — had already proposed to Ryan before I came into the picture. And he rejected her. She has been admiring him since the start of the session. Why would he reject her ? Because she's overweight and not conventionally attractive. She didn't tell me, of course. But I'm not dumb. Word gets around.
Now, I felt bad for her. I really did. But I was also mad. Because as a friend, the least she could do was be upfront. But no — she just stood there, pretending like she was doing me a favor, like she wasn't still into him.
So what did I do?
I made sure she saw how much more he cared about my opinion. I mean, we barely knew each other but the guy would literally agree with anything I said. And that ate her up.
We had this group outing planned once. Lila got cocky and said,
Lila: "If I call Ryan, he'll definitely come."
Girl was too confident.
So behind her back, I messaged Ryan:
Me: "Hey, don't come tomorrow. Just trust me."
No explanation.
And he just said,
Ryan: "Okay."
Simple. Done.
On the day of the outing, everyone knew Ryan wasn't coming — except Lila. She had to find out from him. She was the one who invited him, after all. I can't forget the face she made.
[One random night, 1 AM]
I was on a call with Ryan. He remembered something he has to do and said,
Ryan: "Hey, I'll call you back in 10–15 minutes."
Cool. Whatever. I noticed a missed call from Lila. So I called her back.
We talked. Just normal stuff. Until I saw Ryan calling again. I immediately cut her off:
Me: "OMG! He's calling. I'll call you later!"
Hung up.
She was pissed. I could hear it in the silence.
God, I loved teasing her like that. Petty? Maybe. But satisfying? Absolutely.
[That same night, around 2 AM]
She calls again and says she wants to talk. I say,
Me: "What's up?"
And then she drops her bomb.
Lila: "So… I just wanted to tell you. Me and Ryan… we were in a casual relationship. Like, benefits and stuff."
She tried to sound casual, but her voice cracked. I listened. Didn't say much. But the more she talked, the clearer it became: Ryan used her. He'd hit her up only when he wanted to meet. Never cared how it affected her. And she… she let it happen. And she also admitted how he would spend nights at her place where they talked about how they are making a fool out of me.
It messed with me. Not because I cared that much about Ryan, but because of how pathetic the whole situation was.
I stayed up the whole night. Eyes swollen, head pounding. I didn't cry for her — I cried for myself. For being part of this twisted triangle. For not knowing better. For letting my ego play puppeteer.
But I never told her how I felt.
Why?
Because she wanted me to walk away from him after hearing that. She wanted me to be hurt.
And I wasn't gonna let her win. Not that easily.
So I stayed calm. Composed. Unbothered.
Me: "Thanks for sharing. That must've been tough." I was mad but I pretended to empathize with her.
Inside, I was boiling. But on the surface? Cool as ice.
Because at 19, ego is everything.
And I wasn't about to hand mine over to a girl who lied to me first.