The next morning started like any other.
I woke up to the sound of my mom yelling.
"Shikamaru! Breakfast! And don't go back to sleep, you little sloth!"
I grunted and rolled over.
The only thing pulling me out of bed was the thought of the draft I finished at 2AM. Kasuma's Tale: Volume 5 was finally done. 152,000 words of romance, action, and morally questionable decision-making. The ending wasn't perfect, but the Demon Princess' confession scene? Masterpiece. I even made myself tear up.
I was halfway through brushing my teeth when the ding hit.
[Words Published: +152,000]
[Total Fan Count: 9,845]
Nice.
Another 155 fans overnight. Probably Lee leaving comments on every chapter again. That guy had too much free time.
By the time I made it to the training ground, Choji and Ino were already there.
"Where were you?" Ino demanded.
"Troublesome," I yawned.
Before Choji could offer me a chip, a blur of green came flying into the clearing.
Rock Lee.
Again.
"Shikamaru-san!" he shouted, eyes sparkling like two miniature suns. "At last, we meet as men of youth and honor!"
I froze mid-step.
"…Huh?"
Ino blinked. "What's he doing here?"
Lee pointed dramatically. "I, Rock Lee, challenge you to a duel!"
There was a long silence.
A bird chirped.
Somewhere, a leaf drifted dramatically to the ground.
"Why me?" I finally sighed.
Lee clenched a fist. "Because yesterday, your wisdom and strategic insight during the Chicken Retrieval Mission inspired me! And because I can sense in you the burning soul of a true Kasuma fan!"
Choji choked on his snack.
Ino squinted. "Kasuma… isn't that that weird smutty light novel Choji reads?"
"IT'S LITERARY ART!" Lee and Choji yelled in unison.
I considered bolting.
Asuma showed up just in time, hands in his pockets. "What's going on?"
"Sensei!" Lee beamed. "I challenge Shikamaru-san to a friendly duel of youth and willpower!"
Asuma raised a brow. "You sure? Shikamaru's… not exactly the competitive type."
I grinned. See? That's the beauty of maintaining my lazy reputation.
Unfortunately, Lee had an answer for that too.
"I insist! The spirit of youth demands it!"
Before anyone could stop him, Lee darted into a fighting stance.
"Begin!"
He vanished.
I sighed.
Then I ducked, barely avoiding a high-speed kick aimed for my face.
Troublesome.
"Don't run away, Shikamaru!" Lee called, grinning like an idiot.
I jumped back, narrowly dodging another strike.
Asuma chuckled from the sidelines. "Well, look at that. He moves when he wants to."
Ino was fuming. "Stop slacking off and fight properly, Shikamaru!"
I dodged again, brain already working overtime.
I couldn't beat Lee in pure taijutsu. Guy was a monster. But I didn't need to win.
I needed to survive long enough to make him lose interest.
So I did what I did best.
I ran.
"COME BACK HERE AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN OF YOUTH!"
"No thanks," I muttered, sliding behind a tree.
Lee dashed after me.
I tossed a kunai to the side to distract him, then flung a smoke bomb at my own feet.
Classic.
The world turned grey.
In the confusion, I scrawled a quick note in my pocket notebook.
'Kasuma faces off against a martial artist obsessed with honor duels. Escapes using chicken feathers and the power of distraction.'
Perfect.
I heard Lee coughing somewhere in the smoke.
"Your tactics are cowardly, but effective! I respect that!"
Another ding.
[Fan Count: 9,900]
After a few more minutes of me dodging like my life depended on it and Lee praising my "unorthodox youthful strategy," Asuma called it off.
"Alright, alright — that's enough for today. Mission later."
Lee saluted, still grinning. "I look forward to our next clash of youth, Shikamaru-san!"
I nearly face-planted on the spot.
After Lee left in a swirl of dust, Choji wandered over.
"Man, you're lucky. I wish people challenged me to cool duels like that."
"You're welcome to take my place next time," I groaned.
Ino shook her head. "You're weirder than I thought."
Asuma smirked. "He's full of surprises, our Shikamaru."
If you only knew, sensei.
If you only knew.
By the time the smoke cleared, I got another notification.
[Fan Count: 9,950]
Only fifty more to go.
I was this close to unlocking a new skill.
And if fate had taught me anything — it was that somehow, in this weird, chaotic world full of shinobi, chicken missions, and overenthusiastic martial artists — I could keep getting away with it.
As long as nobody connected me to The Wanderer Old Hag.
For now.
Troublesome.