Today was cursed from the start.
First, my mother woke me up by whacking me with a broom.
"Up! You've got missions, you lazy brat!"
I grunted, buried my face deeper into the pillow, and mumbled, "Troublesome…"
But I got up. Not because I was a good son or a responsible shinobi. No.
Because I had a deadline.
Kasuma's Tale: Volume 5 draft was due to my publisher in three days. And I still hadn't figured out how to resolve the love triangle between Kasuma, the Demon Princess, and the tavern maid with the explosive tags.
A writer's burden is eternal.
At the training ground, Choji waved. Ino glared. Asuma smoked.
Same as usual.
"Today," Asuma announced, "we're chasing chickens."
I stared at him.
"Seriously?"
"Yup. The Daimyo's wife's prize hens escaped from the coop. You three are gonna round them up."
I sighed.
Another day, another humiliating errand.
We made our way to the rich lady's estate — a sprawling place with a pond, gardens, and more statues of fat pigeons than any sane person should own.
The chickens were already causing chaos, flapping about, knocking over flowerpots, and scaring servants.
"This is beneath me," Ino muttered.
Choji opened a snack pouch. "They look fast."
I pulled out my notebook. If I was going to suffer through this, might as well brainstorm a new scene:
'Kasuma chases after the Sacred Phoenix of Lust through the Forbidden Garden.'
Perfect metaphor.
Asuma clapped his hands. "Alright, get to it!"
The chicken chase began.
Choji lumbered after one, bag of chips in one hand, net in the other.
Ino tried to outsmart them with traps made from flower garlands.
I sat under a tree and pretended to plan a strategy while actually jotting down character dialogue.
After twenty minutes, we'd caught… two.
Out of eleven.
And that's when it happened.
Another visitor arrived at the estate.
A familiar face.
Bushy hair, thick eyebrows, sparkling enthusiasm.
Rock Lee.
I froze.
Why was he here?
"Oh! Shikamaru-san! Fancy meeting you here!"
Troublesome.
Lee bounded over, hands on hips. "I came to deliver a package for my sensei to the Daimyo's guard captain, but I saw you and thought — why not lend the power of youth to my fellow Genin?!"
Before I could object, he dashed off and caught three chickens in a single blur of green spandex.
I sighed.
Choji cheered. Ino swooned a little.
Asuma shrugged. "Well, that makes things easier."
I figured this was as good a time as any to jot down another note.
'Kasuma meets a rival martial artist who only speaks in motivational speeches.'
As I wrote, Lee wandered back over, wiping sweat from his brow.
"Say, Shikamaru — have you read those Kasuma's Tale novels? Amazing works of passion and determination! The way Kasuma fights not only for love but also for personal growth — truly the embodiment of the springtime of youth!"
I nearly choked on my own saliva.
"Y-Yeah… I've heard of them," I muttered, playing dumb.
"They are my favorite series! I have memorized every volume! Did you know Volume 3's chapter titled 'Moonlit Duel of Scarlet Desires' holds the record for most consecutive fight scenes in one chapter?!"
I blinked.
I… didn't know that.
I mean, I wrote it, but I hadn't been counting.
A tiny ding sounded in my head.
[Fan Count: 9,002]
Lee… was a fan too.
I wasn't sure whether to feel flattered or terrified.
Before I could react, Lee launched into a passionate review.
"The way Kasuma faces his inner demons in Volume 4 while romancing the twin shrine maidens — it brought tears to my eyes!"
"Right… sounds… emotional," I managed.
Asuma clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, maybe you should read those books too, Shikamaru. Might light a fire under your lazy butt."
If only you knew, Sensei. If only you knew.
Lee helped us round up the remaining chickens in record time.
Mission complete.
The Daimyo's wife rewarded us with some sweets and a long-winded speech about poultry discipline. I didn't listen.
My mind was elsewhere.
At this rate, I'd hit 10,000 fans in no time.
And then… another skill.
As we walked home, Choji munching on leftover snacks, Ino complaining about chicken feathers in her hair, Asuma lighting another cigarette, I scribbled one last note for the day.
'Kasuma's martial artist rival swears an oath of eternal rivalry and friendship under the sunset.'
Maybe I'd name him Gock Ree.
Nah. Too obvious.
But Lee was good for business. If even the weird green jumpsuit guy was buying copies and spouting praise, maybe I was onto something bigger than I realized.
One thing was certain though.
As long as no one figured out I was The Wanderer Old Hag, I could keep writing, keep leveling up, and keep avoiding the real horrors of Genin life.
Actual responsibility.
Troublesome.