"Come on, do you have something to ask me?"
Kazawa took out the key and opened the door to Polo Café, asking without any surprise.
"...Yeah." Conan kept his hands in his pockets and answered sullenly.
"Won't Mr. Mouri and the others object to you coming out this late?" Kazawa pushed the door open and gestured for him to come in.
"Uncle Mouri and Xiaolan rushed to the police station," Conan shook his head. "They left not long after they brought me back. I guess they're coordinating with Section 4 for the investigation."
"You should really be in bed by now. It's almost 11... I'm not even sure if this still counts as a kid's behavior or not."
Kazawa led him smoothly around the dark café's tables and chairs, found the stairs to the attic, and turned on the lights.
Conan walked into the low-ceiling mezzanine attic and looked around, surprised by how much it had changed.
This little attic, once just a temporary resting place, had always been simple—just a bed, a chair, and a desk, all in line with the minimalist P5 aesthetic.
Kazawa hadn't treated it as his real space for a long time and didn't bother furnishing it.
Only after he and Amuro Toru came to a certain understanding, and the three identities he juggled had been properly sorted into different residences, did Kazawa slowly begin to make this place feel like home. He gradually started adding furniture, giving it signs of life.
"...Did you buy this for me?" Conan patted the little beanbag chair and sat down on it. He was touched by how practical it was. Ever since he shrank, he had to climb up any chair he sat in, his feet always dangling.
"This height is just right."
Kazawa gave him an odd look, sat on the taller seat himself, and tactfully said, "Well... that sofa is part of a set."
After a few seconds of processing, Conan's expression darkened.
What? So this was a footrest?!
"Since you like it, I'll leave it to you. I don't use it much anyway." Kazawa stifled his laughter. "Alright then, what do you want to ask me?"
Conan patted the soft beanbag, hesitated a moment, and then finally asked, "...About the medicine."
"Medicine? I thought you'd ask about Mouri first." Kazawa raised an eyebrow.
Conan gave a dry laugh, a little embarrassed: "...I overreacted, didn't I?"
After leaving Uchida Asami's villa, he had calmed down a lot.
Looking back, his hostility seemed a bit irrational.
Kazawa had been with them for a while now, and from his actions, it wasn't hard to see he'd been telling the truth earlier.
Even though he was the type who enjoyed teasing people and always had a serious mind at work, Kazawa was definitely a trustworthy friend.
Since Kazawa had already been open about not having that kind of interest in Xiaolan, Conan's repeated suspicion did come across as a bit distrustful.
"Hmm~" Kazawa crossed his legs, propped up his face with his elbows, and waved his hand casually. "I get it. You were just anxious and under stress. Actually, what I said to Mouri earlier... should've been said to you first. Don't be so tense, kid."
Even though Conan was known as a classic case of "jealous boyfriend," he rarely showed this kind of emotion toward his close friends. Kazawa had been in his social circle for months and should've been cleared from the list of romantic threats. There was no reason a few harmless jokes should've made him so nervous.
Kazawa had figured out the root of it pretty clearly in the past few hours.
The truth was... Conan was just too anxious. His chances of returning to his original form were slim, and as long as he couldn't change back, he couldn't tell Mao Lilan the truth. After all these months, the frustration and emotional strain had begun to wear on him.
And in that regard... Kazawa really couldn't dodge the blame.
Conan had every reason to feel the way he did. After all, how powerful was the original Conan? And what kind of overwhelming situations was he facing now? Who exactly is Kazawa? How could he expect Conan to keep up?
At this point in the original story, the main plot had only progressed to the death of Miyano Akemi. Shiho Miyano hadn't defected yet. But because of Karasawa's appearance, two bottles of "fake liquor" were now living downstairs, Tequila had already become "Tequila sauce," and the Organization had already made a flashy entrance with a high-speed train bombing.
In the original story, Conan hadn't even connected Akemi to the Organization until after Haibara Ai showed up. But now, because of Karasawa's involvement, his cases were already tied to the Organization. The shadow of the dark syndicate loomed constantly over the police network. And just today, they discovered the Organization might be influencing the medical world too...
It felt like the Organization was everywhere—and Conan had barely scratched the surface. Weak, powerless.
Joker had been the one creating chaos. Conan had been eating dust behind him this entire time.
They say ignorance is bliss. One of the reasons Conan had been so fearless early in the series was that he didn't understand the scale of the enemy.
Kazawa had wanted to cure his sense of overconfidence, so he amped up the stakes.
But now it looked like he'd overdone it. Even though the Baigan test had briefly allowed Conan to transform back, the lasting impression wasn't a step forward—it was the pain and humiliation of having to flee in front of Mouri Ran.
In other words, Conan had been beaten into pessimism and now doubted whether he'd ever return to normal.
And on a basic scientific level, there was still no telling whether victims of Drug A could age normally while shrunk.
If he couldn't return to his old self, could he really ask Xiaolan to wait for him to grow up again?
Subconsciously, Conan had started to doubt himself. Like a cat guarding its food, he instinctively bared his fangs around Mouri Ran, pushing away any perceived threats. Kazawa understood.
"Are you afraid, Kudo?" Kazawa asked seriously—rarely calling him by his real name. "Are you afraid that 'Kudo Shinichi' might never return... and that you'll never be able to stand in front of her with your true identity again? Is that what's haunting you?"
Conan looked down at his palms—soft, round, and childlike.
His real hands used to be the same size as Mao Lilan's. When they overlapped, he could wrap his fingers entirely around hers.
Now, even if he stretched as far as he could, he could barely touch her second knuckle...
As "Edogawa Conan," he could now hold Mao Lilan's hand whenever he wanted. He could hug her, even sleep beside her. The kind of intimate contact he once dreamed about was now available every day.
At first, he'd been secretly happy about it—but soon, it became a source of anxiety.
"Can I really go on like this?" He clenched his fingers, his voice filled with uncertainty. "Back then, I insisted on staying and not leaving with my parents. I thought I had a reason to remain. I thought..."
—I wanted to stay by her side. Protect her. Be there for her.
"Why do you think you can't?" Kazawa placed his hand on Conan's spiky head, ruffling it gently. "You've lived here for over a decade. Before this, did you ever sense this Organization's existence? Do you believe there's a force that has cast a vast net, hidden in the world's shadows, perceiving every vibration and controlling the world like a spider through its web? And yet, in just a few months, you've grabbed onto their thread and deciphered their codes... Isn't that something to be proud of?"
"But..." Conan didn't raise his head. With Kazawa's hand over his head, he lowered it further. "The more I see them, the more I doubt. Can I really take them on like this? Whether it's your case or others... I haven't gained anything at all."
...He's completely spiraling.
Kazawa blinked and decided to try a different approach.
"You're a detective, right? Then let me ask you—why do perfect crimes not exist in this world?"