Heer
The silence in the house was suffocating. It felt as though the walls themselves had closed in around me, echoing the emptiness I felt in my chest.
Carlos was gone. He had left, just like I feared he would, after everything. The words we exchanged, the pain that lingered in his eyes, still haunted me. His absence was deafening. For days, I didn't know where he was or what he was doing. All I knew was that the man who once seemed so sure of himself, so commanding, was unraveling. And I didn't know how to stop it.
I couldn't just stand by and wait. I had to do something. I needed to know if there was any way to reach him, any way to bring him back before he completely lost himself.
I had always thought I understood the darkness that surrounded him. I thought I could handle it, that I could love him enough to make it through. But now, after everything that had happened, I wasn't so sure. The more I tried to break through to him, the more I felt like I was sinking deeper into a world I didn't understand. A world that terrified me.
Yet, no matter how hard the struggle was, I couldn't walk away. I couldn't give up on him. I had already given so much of myself to him. My heart, my trust, my future—all of it was tied to Carlos. I couldn't walk away from that, no matter how much it hurt.
I walked to the window, staring out into the night, feeling the weight of my decision press down on me. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. My heart was in pieces, but I knew one thing for sure: I wasn't done yet. I wasn't ready to let him go.
Carlos
The streets were empty as I drove aimlessly through the night. The engine hummed beneath me, the only sound in the otherwise still air. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that I couldn't make sense of. Every time I tried to focus, to find clarity, all I could hear was Heer's voice, pleading with me, begging me to stay.
But I couldn't. Not when I was so far gone. Not when I had already sacrificed so much for this life—this dark life.
I thought I had it all under control. I thought I could handle it all. But now, as I drove alone, the weight of everything came crashing down on me. The business, the power, the enemies lurking in the shadows—it was all too much. The more I tried to protect her from it, the deeper I pushed her into it. The truth was, I wasn't protecting her at all. I was just pushing her further into the abyss.
I stopped the car in a secluded area, just outside the city, where the lights faded into the distance. I sat there for what felt like hours, my mind a mess of conflicting thoughts. The truth I had been hiding from myself was now undeniable: I loved Heer. More than anything.
But I didn't deserve her.
I didn't deserve anyone, not after everything I had done. Every decision I made had been in the name of power, control, and survival. And now, I was about to lose the one thing that made me feel human.
I couldn't go back. I couldn't undo the mistakes I'd made. The blood on my hands was something I couldn't erase.
But the thought of her, standing there in front of me, looking at me like I was someone worth saving—it shattered me. It made me question everything.
I ran my hands through my hair, frustration boiling up inside of me. What had I become? What was I doing to myself? What was I doing to her?
I thought I could fix it. I thought I could change things. But the truth was, I didn't know how.
Heer
Days passed, and I still hadn't heard from Carlos. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. The absence of his presence in our home was suffocating. It was as if the whole world had become smaller, darker, with each passing hour. I didn't know where he was or what he was doing, and every time I closed my eyes, I could see him—alone, trapped in the life he was trying to escape.
I had to find him. I had to do something.
So, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I didn't know where he was, but I had a feeling. I had always known Carlos in a way that no one else could. He might have been hiding from me, but I could still feel his presence in my heart. I just had to follow it.
I drove through the dark streets, the night swallowing everything in its path, but I didn't care. I had no destination, no plan—just the need to find him.
And then, I saw it—the familiar silhouette of his car parked by the side of the road. My heart stopped.
I pulled over and stepped out of my car, my breath coming out in ragged bursts. It was cold, the air thick with the weight of uncertainty. My mind raced, but I took each step carefully, knowing that this could be the moment that defined everything.
I found him standing by the edge of a cliff, staring out at the endless horizon. His back was to me, and he looked so lost, so broken, that it took everything in me not to cry out his name in desperation.
I took another step closer.
"Carlos?" My voice was barely a whisper, trembling with emotion.
He turned slowly, his eyes hollow, filled with a sadness that made my heart ache. I could see the pain in his face, the guilt that weighed him down like a heavy cloak.
"Why are you here, Heer?" he asked quietly, his voice strained. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"
I didn't say anything at first. I just walked to him, my hands trembling, and reached out to touch his arm. He flinched, but he didn't pull away. He didn't tell me to go.
"I'm not leaving you," I whispered, my heart in my throat. "Not now. Not ever. You don't have to face this alone. You can be better, Carlos. I know you can."
His eyes darkened, and his lips curled into a bitter smile. "You think you can fix me? You think you can just walk in and save me from this? From myself?"
"I don't want to save you," I said softly. "I just want to love you. To help you. I can't watch you destroy yourself. Not when I know how much you're worth. Not when I know you're still in there."
His face twisted, a storm of conflicting emotions flickering through his eyes. For a moment, I thought he would pull away again, that he would turn his back on me and walk into the night. But he didn't. He stood still, his gaze never leaving mine.
"I don't know how to be what you need, Heer," he said, his voice breaking. "I've never been that man. Not in this world. Not for you."
"You don't have to be perfect," I said, stepping closer, my hand gently brushing his. "You just have to try. And I'll be right here, no matter what. We can do this together."
Carlos
Her words shattered the walls I had built around myself. For the first time in years, I felt something other than anger, guilt, and fear. I felt… hope.
But it scared me.
What if I wasn't good enough for her? What if I dragged her down with me into the darkness I couldn't escape?
I looked at her, really looked at her, and for the first time, I didn't see the woman who had been thrust into this world. I saw the woman who was willing to fight for me. The woman who, despite everything, still believed in me.
And that was a gift I wasn't sure I deserved.
But I wanted to try.
"I'm scared, Heer," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "I'm scared of what I've become. I'm scared of losing you."
"You're not going to lose me," she said softly, taking my hand in hers. "I'm not going anywhere."