Heer
The silence after my words felt like an eternity, stretching between us until it became unbearable. Carlos had retreated into himself, that cold, distant man I had come to know all too well.
I didn't know what to do anymore. I had spent so long trying to piece together the broken parts of our marriage, trying to heal the wounds I couldn't even fully understand, that I had forgotten to take a step back and breathe.
Walking away from him felt like tearing my heart out. But I didn't know how else to handle the situation. The man I had once trusted to protect me, to care for me, had slowly become a stranger. Every step I took toward him felt like I was getting closer to drowning in a world of secrets, lies, and darkness.
But I wasn't willing to drown. Not anymore.
I could still feel his presence in the house, even though he wasn't physically there. The weight of his absence was like a physical ache. The memories we had shared, the moments when I thought we were finally breaking through the walls between us—now felt like they belonged to another lifetime.
I wasn't the same person I had been when I first entered this marriage. I had changed, but so had he. We both had scars that couldn't be ignored anymore. But the hardest part wasn't the scars. It was the uncertainty of whether or not those scars could ever heal.
I looked out the window again, watching the rain start to fall, the heavy droplets hitting the ground like a quiet reminder that life didn't stop. It just kept moving, relentlessly, regardless of how broken we felt.
I needed answers. I needed to know if this marriage was even worth saving. If Carlos was willing to fight for it, to fight for us, or if it was time to let go.
I wasn't sure I could stay in this darkness any longer. But could I really leave the man I had loved with everything I had?
I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to make that decision yet.
Carlos
The storm outside mirrored the chaos in my mind. It was hard to think straight with everything swirling around me. After the argument, after Heer walked away from me, I felt the weight of everything I had been running from crash down on me.
I had always thought I was protecting her, that by keeping her away from the world I lived in, I was keeping her safe. But I was wrong. I had pushed her so far away, she couldn't even see the man I was trying to be for her. The man I wanted to be. And in doing so, I was suffocating her, pushing her into a corner, until she had no choice but to walk away.
Now, with the distance between us growing wider, I realized how far I had fallen. I had let myself become this shadow of a man, consumed by the very things I swore I would protect her from. But the truth was, I didn't know how to break free from it. I didn't know how to escape my past, the decisions I had made, the world that held me captive.
And I wasn't sure if I could do that for her. I wasn't sure if I was capable of being the man she deserved.
I sat at the desk, my head in my hands, the weight of my thoughts pressing down on me. My mind kept going back to the same question: Is this what I want?
I had never been given a choice. My whole life had been mapped out for me—the mafia, the power, the blood. It was all I had ever known. But the more I thought about Heer, the more I realized that there had to be more to life than this. There had to be more than running a ruthless empire.
But was I too far gone to change? Was I too far gone to give her the life she deserved?
I couldn't help but wonder if I even knew what love was anymore. Could I ever be the man she needed me to be?
I looked out the window, the rain splattering against the glass, and I realized that I had to make a choice.
The hardest choice of all.
Heer
Days passed, and the silence between us grew heavier. It was as if we were both waiting for the other to make the first move, but neither of us had the courage to break the silence.
I knew that Carlos was struggling. I could see it in the way he walked, the way he spoke, the way he avoided looking me in the eye. He was trying to figure out how to fix everything, but he didn't know how. And that scared me. It scared me because, for the first time, I realized that I couldn't fix him.
I could love him. I could try to understand him. But there was a limit to what I could do. And that realization cut deeper than I thought it would.
But I couldn't stay in this limbo forever. The uncertainty, the constant back-and-forth—it was draining me. I needed to know where we stood. I needed to know if there was hope for us, or if I had been fooling myself all along.
So I did the only thing I could do: I confronted him.
I found him in the study, his back turned to me as he stared at the paperwork in front of him. His shoulders were slumped, his face devoid of the arrogance he usually wore so well.
"Carlos," I said, my voice steady despite the storm raging inside me. "We need to talk."
He didn't turn around at first, but when he finally did, I saw the exhaustion in his eyes. The man who had once seemed so invincible now appeared completely broken.
"I know," he said quietly, running a hand through his hair. "But I don't know what to say."
"I don't need you to say anything right now," I replied. "I need you to choose. Choose me. Choose us. Because I can't keep waiting, Carlos. I can't keep living in this in-between place."
His eyes softened, but the fear that flashed across his face only made my heart break further.
"I don't know if I can choose you, Heer." His voice was raw, vulnerable in a way I had never heard before. "I don't know if I can change for you. For us."
"You don't have to change for me," I said, stepping closer. "I just need to know that you're willing to try. That you're willing to fight for us."
Carlos
I had spent so long running from my past, from who I had become, that I didn't know how to stand still anymore. I didn't know how to just be with Heer. But looking at her, standing there with those eyes full of hope and love, I realized something.
She wasn't asking me to be perfect. She was asking me to fight for her. To fight for us.
And maybe, just maybe, I was ready to fight.
"I'm scared, Heer," I said, my voice shaking. "I'm scared that I won't be enough for you."
"I don't need you to be perfect," she whispered, taking my hand. "I just need you to be here. With me. Right now."
And for the first time in a long time, I realized that I was willing to fight. For her. For us.
"I'm not perfect," I said softly, looking into her eyes. "But I'm willing to try. If you'll have me."