"Why hasn't Jade been in school today?" Tori asked, her eyebrows furrowing slightly as she scanned the crowded lunchroom, a sliver of unease tightening in her chest. "She is supposed to have a rehearsal today." Her tone was casual, a gentle inquiry, but underneath, a familiar concern for her sometimes prickly classmate was beginning to bloom. She shifted in her plastic chair, the squeak echoing slightly in the boisterous room. Her usual pink blouse felt a little too bright today against the backdrop of the swirling rumors she could almost taste in the air. The tight jeans, a second skin, didn't offer much comfort against the hard seat. She absentmindedly nudged a stray french fry with the toe of her simple tan flip flop
"Her and Beck broke up." Andre answered, swirling the straw in his soda with a dramatic sigh, as if delivering news of global significance. His dark green t-shirt hung loosely on his frame, mirroring the casual slump of his shoulders. The loose green shorts and flip flops completed his usual laid-back look.
"So? They do that all the time." Tori responded, a dismissive wave of her hand accompanying her words, though a tiny seed of doubt had already been planted. "They fight, they brood, they make up with some grand, overly dramatic gesture. Jade doesn't miss school for that." She finally took a bite of her pizza, the lukewarm cheese stretching rather grotesquely. Seriously, couldn't this school spend a little more money on its lunch budget? This cardboard with tomato paste was starting to taste suspiciously like something dredged from the bottom of a swamp.
"It's why Jade broke up with Beck that's keeping her from school. Apparently," Robbie leaned forward conspiratorially, his eyes wide behind his thick-rimmed glasses, "she has fallen for someone else." He sat ramrod straight, as always, the ventriloquist dummy, Rex, perched on his lap with an unnerving stillness. His meticulously buttoned-up plaid shirt still had its usual pen tucked neatly in the pocket over his right breast. He gave another valiant, and ultimately failing, attempt to make those skinny jeans look even remotely cool.
"Hard to believe she would give up Beck." Rex interjected, his voice a cynical bite that seemed to ooze from the puppet's painted lips. "That witch can't get any other guy to put up with her." He punctuated the last word with a dismissive flick of his tiny wrist.
"Oh, she didn't leave him for a boy." Cat chirped in, her head tilted to the side as she delicately scooped a cherry tomato from her salad. She sat relaxed on the edge of her seat in a white t-shirt that seemed a size too small, the fabric clinging slightly, paired with a short white skirt that swirled around her bare legs. Today, her feet were indeed unadorned, a silent testament to her whimsical nature. Weird, even for Cat, Tori thought fleetingly.
"But Beck told me she said she loves someone else," Andre added with slight emphasis, an arch forming between his eyebrows; there was a hint of genuine curiosity coloring his voice. He stopped swirling his soda. He acted cool on the surface, as always for the groups resident pianist, but Tori saw the vivid and growing attention, even if the others missed the small tells she had seen.
"She has fallen in love." Cat repeated, a dreamy smile softening her features. Her eyes began to dazzle slightly as she drifted off in thought. I wonder what her mind must be like. Maybe cotton candy tornadoes with way too many cats. She briefly shuddered at the idea.
"But you just said she didn't leave him for someone." Robbie said, his brow furrowed in genuine confusion as he glanced from Cat to Rex and back again, who mirrored the preplexed gaze with a quick eyebrow raise. I wonder how that little thing works? I could always steal it... Ew, no. I am not putting my hand anywhere near where his has been, especially with all the sweat... She stifled a bout of nausea.
"Nope, I said she didn't leave him for a boy." Cat popped another piece of lettuce into her mouth. "Besides, she's really depressed about the whole thing too. Hey, does anyone wanna see my new coin dispenser belt?" She asked, her tone shifting abruptly as if the previous conversation had never happened. The prior words hung in the air heavy like an anvil, even as she kept on rambling about her newest toy. A typical Cat-ism that effectively derailed any serious thought.
They all seemed to put two and two together, the mental gears grinding audibly in the half-silence of Cat's chirping as they had all long since found a numbness to her ramblings. A wave of bewildered understanding washed over their faces, and what they concluded made them all stare at Cat with varying degrees of shock and utter disbelief.
"Cat..." Andre began slowly, his voice laced with disbelief, "Just... Who has Jade left Beck for?" The tension was heavy, and his face shared an equal amount of weight. Whoever this person was was in for a world of trouble, Tori thought. Better to find out now and give them advanced warning, right?
"She told me I couldn't tell anyone..." Cat trailed off for a moment, her voice unusually steady, the playful bounce momentarily absent. "She wanted to tell her, herself. She'll be back by Friday. Oh, she also said the person would get a message from her tonight. Letter, of course – not text. She said she did that so no one could track it. It should have a package with it too." She delivered this information in that rare, serious Cat voice, her gaze direct for a fleeting moment before she returned to meticulously arranging the cucumber slices in her salad.
So it was a she? The thought hit Tori with the force of a rogue stage light. Who in the world would queen witch give up Beck for? Especially if that someone was a chick? A strange mix of disbelief and a flicker of something unidentifiable stirred within her. Her mind briefly flashed to the snap of Cat's expression mere moments ago, ontop of this. I wonder which Cat's the real one... The weird one, or the machine like one? Nah, that's silly. Cat's our silly goofball. Sure, she may start trouble, but she just needed attention sometimes. Probably. Maybe. I hope.
They all finished lunch, the mystery of Jade's new love interest hanging heavy in the air. It was a tangible distraction that followed the gang into the dimly lit drama classroom and the brightly fluorescent art studio. Tori found herself staring blankly at a half-finished monologue, the words blurring before her eyes as her mind replayed the lunchtime conversation. Even the vibrant colors of the paint palette seemed muted compared to the unexpected drama unfolding amongst their friends. Wait... Jade barely knows any girls. At least... Not many she hasn't bit, punched, or threatened to the point of restraining order.
The day began to flow by rapidly, lost to her thoughts and far too distracted by the running list of names splitting through her head of women at the school, or even in this county, Jade hadn't personally offended or felt bismirched by. Maybe... uh... Mom? No... It better not be!
Tori saw Beck once during the day, leaning against a locker in the hallway after drama class, his usual easygoing demeanor replaced by a sharp and silent scowl. "Hey man. You, uh, doin ok?" She playfully jabbed his bicep, shaking her hand as she was reminded in the difference of their size. He wouldn't even meet her gaze, his eyes fixed on some distant, unseen spot on a locker or mural across the hall. Come to think of it, I don't know if I've ever really bothered to look over there... maybe tomorrow. Tori couldn't decipher the reason for his pointed ignorance. Was he angry about the breakup itself? Or was it something else entirely? A knot of unease tightened in her stomach. His only respond beyond that had been to slam his locker shut, release a rather aggressive sigh from his nostrils, and turn around to walk to the next class with his hands tucked away.
"Say, Cat?" Tori tried again, sliding up to the smaller girl near the lockers between classes? "Did Jade tell Beck who she left him for?" She attempted a casual tone, but a slightly desperate and totally not antsy tremble definitely leaked in.
"Yup. Hey, that cloud looks like a bunny, Hehe." Cat answered, her attention already drifting upwards again, a wide, innocent smile gracing her lips as she gazed at the fluffy white formations of today's ceiling paintjob. Her eyes seemed to lose focus, glazed over with an inner world only she inhabited.
"Come on, Cat. I won't tell anyone, I promise!" Tori pleaded, her desperation growing. She even went so far as to drop to her knees in the crowded hallway, clasping her hands together in mock supplication. "Just a tiny hint?"
"You'll just have to find out tomorrow when the someone who gets the message tells everyone else," Cat said, her voice surprisingly firm despite her dreamy expression. Cat might seem naive, but her loyalty was an unshakeable force field. Give her a secret, and there was a better chance of Sikowitz serving a normal beverage than her spilling the beans.
The day did not go by anywhere near as fast as Tori would have preferred. Her skin itched. She felt this constant and heavy need to pace that usually only came when she was in danger. How many times have I nearly died at this school, again? Eh, worth it.
The walk home felt longer than usual, too. The afternoon sun was beating down on Tori's shoulders. I so should have worn something else. She thought as she haggardly waved the hem of her tanktop to try and stifle the painful level of heat she felt. Each step was a small rebellion against Trina's forgetfulness, but a step paid in sweat. When she finally trudged through the front door, the cool air of the house was a welcome relief. Trina was already sprawled on the floral couch, a discarded magazine tenting over her face, snoring softly. Such an airhead. Tori muttered under her breath, a familiar mix of annoyance and begrudging affection bubbling up.
She moved up to her room, the familiar posters and scattered scripts offering a small sense of comfort to her growing sense of unease. Maybe studying could help! She had just settled at her desk, the textbook open to a page she couldn't quite focus on, when Trina's voice echoed, or more accurately, crashed up the stairs.
"Hey, Tori! Package for you! Doesn't say who it's from!" Trina's usual shrieking tone grated slightly on Tori's already thin and shakey nerves. A package? For me? A wave of surprise washed over her. The holidays were still months away, her non-existent dating life wouldn't have any surprise gifts, and she couldn't possibly think of any other reason someone would send her anything. No...
Tori went downstairs, a knot of curiosity building in her stomach. On the coffee table, next to a dozing Trina, sat a small, neatly wrapped box. When had she... She dispelled the thought, not wanting more things to annoy her brain right now, but it was the vibrant splash of color on the dining table that caught her eye first: a lush bouquet of deep red roses, their velvety petals unfurling like hot kisses. Trina, now awake somehow and perched on the edge of the couch, was indeed now messing with the box, her brow furrowed in concentration. It seemed stubbornly sealed.
"Trina," Tori said, her tone laced with mock exasperation, "when the box has someone else's name on it, especially Mine, you don't open it." She punctuated her words with a pointed look, the familiar sibling dynamic kicking in. It felt like the hundredth iteration of this particular bitching out that Tori didn't really have the energy to do more than amp her tone slightly. Trina huffed and dropped the box back onto the table with a frustrated thump. At least she's as tired of that as I am.
"It has a stupid lock on it!" Trina retorted, her lower lip jutting out in a theatrical pout. "It isn't a normal keyhole either. Whoever this guy is, he must think you'll know how to open it."
"Just go back to sleep, Trina." Tori sighed, trying to wave her sister off with a tired gesture. The request was, naturally, met with a stubborn glare. Trina's curiosity, once awake, was an unstoppable force. Tori examined the lock. It was intricate, a swirling design that offered no obvious entry point. Almost reminds me of a Clef on music sheets... Then, Trina, ever the unintentional helper, handed her a small, folded note that had been tucked beneath the ribbon. It read, scribbled in familiar, sharp handwriting: 'The key is around your neck, idiot.' Tori's hand instinctively went to the delicate silver chain she always wore. The pendant, a stylized musical note, was shaped… just like the first note of a song. A jolt of recognition, followed by a wave of utter disbelief, ran through her. No... no... No. No way. Nuh uh. No fudging way!
She carefully unclasped the necklace and, with trembling fingers, inserted the pendant into the lock. It slid in perfectly alongside it, almost like the beginning of a melody. A soft click melodically filled the quiet room as she turned it. It slowly began to play the tune to the very song Tori had wrote. The one she had performed and earned her spot at Hollywood arts. A simple little melody that had brought her to this stressful, headache inducing, crazy, frantic world she called home.
The lid of the box sprang open a fraction when the song finished. Tori lifted it, her breath catching in her throat. Inside, nestled on a bed of velvet, were two small, identical rings. Both were crafted from a delicate silver band, each studded with several sparkling diamonds. And in the center of each, catching the light with an intense, vibrant glow, was a bright green crystal of jade. Tori picked them up, their weight surprisingly intense in her palm, her mind reeling with confusion.
Underneath the rings lay a folded letter. Cat's words from earlier echoed in her mind: a package and a letter. Jade had told Beck who she left him for, and he had been pointedly ignoring Tori all day. The pieces were starting to fit together, forming a picture so unexpected it made her head spin. Except for one glaringly obvious detail: Jade hated her. Right?
Tori unfolded the letter, her fingers slightly unsteady. Trina, her initial annoyance forgotten, leaned over her shoulder, her eyes wide with anticipation. Tori read the familiar, angular script aloud, each word hitting her with the force of a dropped spotlight:
Vega,
I hope... No. I just. Look. I've been a huge bitch to you for years now. An absolute- ok. Lemme start over. I've been a bully. Heh. Sure, that fits. Maybe abuser is more accurate. The shit I've done to you is... Just... Beck and I. He was nice. He fit what I needed. Bad girl persona has to have her attack dog... But it never felt real. Not to me. He was convenient, and I hate when someone takes away my toys, but that wasn't right for... either of us. I used him like a trophy. If he hates me... Not the first person, or the first time he has.
Tori paused, her heart hammering against her chest. Did she really call herself a...? I mean, sometimes Beck does kinda resemble a big puppy with that hair of his. Toy??? Oh come on... She better be going somewhere with this. She glanced at Trina, who was mirroring her stunned expression. She continued reading:
When you got here, I acted like you were a threat. I had to. Another hot chick with singing acting and even some dance moves? No way I could let a triple threat in without standing my ground... At first, that's what I told myself, at least. It didn't take long before that really was all just an act I couldn't stop performing. Besides... The baddest chick at Hollywood Arts comes out as a dyke, and for you? Can you imagine how that'd fuck up my rep?! Reputation, power, opportunity. Those are everything... they were everything. You went and ruined it with that stupid smile, and that idiotic off key voice. I... I love you, Vega. You can burn the flowers, toss the music box and the rings in the damn fissure from an earthquake for all I care! Just... Couldn't keep living a lie... Hurt more than I thought it did. So... I doubt you'll say yes, but... Tori... Do you want to be... my girl?
Tori's breath hitched. D...d... Did she... use my name? No... No way. I mean, I'm not gay. No way. Nuh uh... She looked down at the rings in her hand, the jade crystals seeming to pulse with a serious intent. They almost felt like Tori was cradling Jade's vulnerable hard between her fingers. For the first time, she could genuinely crush West once and for all. ...I... The idea died on the vine.
No matter how you answer... We can just... go back to normal. We can act like this was all some big prank to mess with Beck about wanting to get married. I... I just... I couldn't hide this anymore. I don't want to go back to hiding. I will... I'm a damn good actress, after all. Right, Vega? On... the small... possibility... You say yes... I'll bitch, but I'm ok with being a secret if we have to be. Did it for most of my life. What's one more with something nice added in for a change? Heh. This is getting way too long.
Love,Jadelyn West
P.S. The rings are for if you say yes. I have another question for you that involves them.
Trina and Tori both sank onto the edge of the coffee table, the unspoken questions hanging heavy in the air. How could Jade love me? ME? The thought echoed in Tori's mind, a bizarre and unexpected melody. Better yet, why did she take so long to say it? A rush of memories flooded her – the stolen glances, the underlying tension in their arguments, the almost imperceptible softening of Jade's gaze sometimes. Had I really been that blind for years...?Tori realized with a jolt that she had always felt something for Jade, a confusing mix of intimidation and undeniable attraction, but Jade was with Beck, a seemingly impenetrable fortress. Not to mention the fear of judgment, the whispered anxieties Trina had unknowingly planted years ago, had kept Tori's own feelings buried deep. I liked her a lot, she admitted to herself, the realization both startling and strangely comforting.
That was why she had always tried to make Jade smile, why she kept offering those awkward, often rejected hugs. Maybe she actually… liked them? A warmth spread through Tori at the thought. I've been into her since day one.. But... Beck and Her... Wow... Damnit Trina... Damnit peer pressure! The truth, she now acknowledged, was that she had always been drawn to girls, but societal expectations and Trina's cautionary words had forced her to create a façade of heterosexual interest. Only Trina knew the truth, she relaxedly thought, remembering those hushed late-night conversations when Trina had been… kinder. Trina had voiced her acceptance but also her concern about how the world might react. That conversation, Tori now understood, had inadvertently shaped her own carefully constructed mask. The things that stick with you.
"I'm going to Jade's." Tori announced, rising abruptly, a newfound sense of purpose sharpening her focus for the first time all day lonmg. "Tell Mom that I went to see a friend and might be staying the night."
"It's about time you got with someone you'll actually like." Trina said, a genuine smile gracing her lips for once. "I was getting sick of watching you break boys' hearts. Not that it wasn't fun seeing all of them try, but... I mean, once you go down under." She laughed hautily in that nasily voice of hers that would normally make Tori's ears nearly bleed, but right now, it was at least a little comforting that her sister wasn't being a total backstabbing jerk for once. "Don't worry, this is one of the few times I know covering for you will amount to something. So, I've got your back. Good luck." She finished with a wink, a rare display of unwavering support. Trina had always been skeptical of Tori's fleeting romantic entanglements, predicting their inevitable demise. Obviously. She knew this whole time. Probably more clearly than I ever did. Well. Maybe not today. But this… this felt different. Tori didn't think Trina fully grasped the depth of her words, the unexpected comfort they provided.
Tori grabbed her car keys, her heart pounding a frantic rhythm against her ribs. She slipped one of the jade rings onto her finger, the cool metal a tangible weight of new places, new hopes, new dreams and ideas. She knew the other ring was meant for Jade, a silent request. Jade had orchestrated this entire exchange, ensuring a face-to-face confrontation, regardless of Tori's initial reaction. Presenting one or both rings would be her answer. If you went to this much trouble West, you sure as shit aren't running back into that closet! Tori decided, a surge of defiance and excitement coursing through her veins. The thought no longer held the fear it once did.
The drive to Jade's house was a blur of streetlights and racing thoughts. She parked haphazardly in the driveway, her hands slightly clammy as she walked up the porch steps. She took a deep breath and knocked. The door swung open, and there stood Jade. Her eyes widened slightly as she took in the ring on Tori's finger, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her face.
"...Vega..."
Tori didn't let her finish that thought. She didn't let her think at all about how hard and scared they might be at school tomorrow, or how the rumormill would be fully geared up. I can read the headline now. That was Tori's last coherent thought before she silenced Jade for the night with a kiss she secretly hoped never had to end.