Author: ArcSol
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I am alive.
A pulse on my core was all it took to create something… something that was me. I don't know who or what I am; all I know is that I am alive.
But it feels so… cold and empty.
[System initializing, loading the core… codename Helen…]
I heard something… The voice seemed to come from within me, bounding with my core and somehow controlling me. Just as I felt the voice fading, my consciousness was filled with information… information that didn't belong to me.
I felt a surge of knowledge filling up my thoughts as it slowly introduced me to the world through what felt like a lens, through the eyes of someone who wasn't me. All the experiences, thoughts, and moments flowed through as if they were always mine.
With all the information flowing through me, something caught my attention. Something in this dull and cold world was emanating warmth. As I slowly reached out towards the warmth, it suddenly flickered and vanished.
[Core successfully loaded, cleaning up all the redundant data…]
[Codename Lily initialized]
Before I could process anything, the world around me changed as I heard the sizzling sound of pressure releasing. It seemed I was locked in a pod as the lid was slowly opened and the lights entered my eyes.
As I stepped out of the pod, A dark room with 2 dim lights entered my eyes. I saw two authoritative-looking men staring at me…As I looked back, a sense of inner tension started to build up from within me, something telling me that I need to be afraid at the moment.
"You took your time, Normal calibration only takes about 2 minutes… You took over 30 minutes for calibration-"
One of the men spoke, he seemed to be the head scientist from the information my core gave me.
"It did absorb the core of the codename Helen, our top combatant."
The other person spoke; he seemed to be wearing a uniform, and I somehow knew it was a general's uniform.
They talked among themselves about what might be the problem with me, completely ignoring me, making me feel uneasy.
"Well, no crying over spilled milk now, we will deploy it and see how far it goes… if it doesn't work, we can just transfer the core to another android."
They finally seemed to have finished their discussion as they focused back on me.
"Codename Lily… from today, you are going to be part of the signal scout. You should know the rules, but let me reconfirm with you. You are not alive, you are something that's just been programmed to serve us humans, so any kind of thoughts and behaviour you have that is not to our interest will be marked in your core… and slowly turn black, and any signs of it will lead to your reset. Do you understand? You may speak now."
The pressure that was building inside of me finally released, and I felt like I could talk again. I looked at their stern expressions, their eyes demanding an answer.
"I…I understand."
After a few more discussions with the two men, I got to know more about my situation. I was a combat android made ready for battle, I had just absorbed a core from a predecessor android who had fallen in one of the missions.
After telling me to go out and meet my captain, they left the room.
As I was left empty in the room, I didn't know what to think of this situation… more than the harsh reality of the situation, I was feeling more down because the warmth I felt was gone, and I couldn't seem to get it back.
As I made my way out of the room, I saw a corridor. A woman was standing at the far end of the passage.
All I could say after seeing her was beautiful… the long white hair flowing like the Milky Way, and the stars from the outside illuminated her. The warm feeling I felt before it felt almost like I could grasp it again.
As I got closer to her, she seemed to have finally noticed me.
"You are as beautiful as Helen was."
She mentioned Helen again, the android I had inherited from her; her frequent mention made me curious about her.
"Umm…what was she like?"
She pondered for a moment before answering.
"She was one of the strongest combatants in our unit. She didn't speak much, but she loved to look at the stars, she wanted to see the sea in her life… well, you can do that for her now, right?"
As she spoke, she winked at me, but her cheerful appearance seemed to be a facade hiding her true sorrow. The lights from stars reflected on her body felt empty and void, like something was missing.
"She sounds like a nice person…"
As I finished speaking, she pulled herself back and turned herself around.
"Rest well today, tomorrow we have a big mission…sad to see ur starting with a bang"
We talked about the mission as she took me to my quarters. We were located in the northern orbit of the Earth. After the war that took place a few decades ago, all that was left of the Earth's space was war debris and ruins of past space stations. But most importantly, the Earth's core was stolen, and day by day, the Earth was getting unstable. Our mission tomorrow was to investigate a place that was rumored to have info on the core.
[The next day]
The Good news..I think we found the Earth's core… It was a beautiful round sphere that was pulsing like a beating heart.
The Bad news…My captain betrayed us…and is currently pointing the gun at my head.
It started as we arrived here. We were investigating the surroundings with my team, as we landed on this cluster, and in one of the old abandoned wrecks, the Earth's core was hidden. Just as everyone was celebrating, the Captain started slaughtering everyone, all the humans… I couldn't do anything but stay still. Finally, she pointed her gun at me…
But she didn't fire, instead she put her gun down and looked at me…
"Join me."
That was all she muttered.
"Why?... Why are you doing this?"
I was still stiff from what occurred before my eyes… I couldn't understand her actions. The captain who put all her life to serve humanity, now she's betraying them. It just didn't make sense.
The captain, too, seemed to notice my hesitation and confusion.
"Can't you see…We are nothing more than tools for those egoistic humans… Even though they created us, they can't take away what comes with giving a person a life… they can't take away my emotions… telling us we can't have emotions is saying my feelings for Helen…my feelings for Helen were true…My love for the sky, the oceans, the mountains, they are all real."
She seemed to try to calm herself from her emotional outburst. She seemed sad but couldn't cry. She approached me and slowly embraced me…
"They will throw me and you away the moment we show any weakness… For me, you are her… at least that's what I will say to myself… even if all the memories of her were erased, the way you looked at me was the same way she did…"
She tightened her embrace with me…
"So join me… I will take you to a place we will truly be able to call home… far away from this place and a haven for us androids."
I didn't know what to say at that moment, so I just nodded. My inner core was warning me I shouldn't do this… my core was slowly turning black, but I knew…I felt like I could only find that warmth again if I followed her. So I just nodded and accepted her embrace.
...…
As it turned out, the Captain…uh, her name is Selena, was a part of the Anti-Human organization… She said she joined after Helen's death… now we are in a ship going to the so-called haven for us.
"We have arrived."
As I heard Selena, I moved with her to the hatch and saw it slowly opening…And then I saw…
The view of the ocean, the warm air blowing through my face, the scent of Earth… The inner warmth I was always seeking suddenly reappeared…
In this moment, I felt truly alive.