Kei woke up to something soft. And heavy. And breathing.
He cracked one eye open—and froze.
Vel was straddling his chest like it was her throne.
"Morning, darling," she purred, leaning forward with a dangerous smile. Her silver hair cascaded down around his face like a seductive noose. "I was feeling clingy."
"You're literally on top of me!"
"I know. Isn't it romantic?"
Kei flailed. "This is not a bed! It's a hostage situation with extra cleavage!"
Vel tilted her head. "Aww, you're blushing. That's so cute."
"I'm blushing because I can't breathe! Get off!"
She eventually slinked off with all the grace of a lazy cat, but not without ruffling his already-murdered hair and whispering, "You make a great pillow."
Kei sat up, panting. "I'm gonna die in this house."
"You say that every morning," Aris called from the hallway, sipping tea. "Still rooting for it."
As Kei tried to remember how to function as a human being, the door creaked open—and in walked a new girl like she owned the place.
Scratch that—she walked like she bought the place, trademarked it, then raised the rent.
She was tall, flawless, and terrifying. Her outfit looked like high fashion had merged with a business suit during a hostile takeover. A golden choker sparkled around her neck with the word MINE engraved on it.
Kei blinked. "Um… who?"
The girl gave him a look like he'd just asked a Ferrari if it came in cardboard.
"Mavira Goldvine," she said crisply. "Embodiment of Greed. You can call me Mav. I'm here to save your sad little wallet."
Kei glanced at Vel. "You guys just… keep showing up like downloadable content."
Vel shrugged. "She pays in actual gold. I let her in."
Mav walked over to Kei's desk—which was now covered in spreadsheets and glowing financial symbols.
"I took the liberty of auditing your expenses," she said. "Kei, sweetie, explain to me why you have six active subscriptions for… 'virtual girlfriends.'"
Kei's soul left his body. "Th-that's—! Research!"
"Right," Mav said, unfazed. "You're 'researching' your way into debt. And what is this—'Premium Waifu Tier'? You spent thirty dollars a month for digital headpats?"
Kei buried his face in his hands. "I make terrible life decisions."
"Correction: you made terrible life decisions. I'm here now."
She snapped her fingers and summoned a floating tablet made of credit scores and crushed hopes.
"From now on, I'm managing your finances. You'll be solvent, efficient, and possibly dateable in under six months."
Kei peeked through his fingers. "Is this… financial domination?"
Mav smiled like a shark at an ATM. "Only if you're into it."
Vel raised a brow. "He probably is."
"I'm not!" Kei protested. "I just—look, I didn't ask for a money demon!"
"Greed," Mav corrected, brushing imaginary dust off her shoulder. "And don't worry. You'll thank me when you can afford therapy."
"...I need therapy because of you people!"
"Exactly. It's all part of the investment plan."
Just then, the ceiling light flickered—and coins literally rained from above.
Rika stuck her head in. "Why does it sound like a loot box exploded?"
Mav clapped once. "Welcome to fiscal responsibility, Kei. First lesson: stop spending money on things that won't hug you back."
Vel smirked. "Guess that makes me a good investment."
Kei stared at the ceiling. "I'm going back to sleep. Wake me up when reality crashes."