I got out of my prayer closet, my heart heavy and raw. I walked past the mirror, catching a glimpse of myself. I walked back and towards the mirror, glassy eyes staring back at me. Glassy eyes from yet another heartbreak.
A sob escaped my lips.
Look, I get that marriage isn't perfect and it hurts to be the one in the trenches.I know he has an empire to run, that he is his dad's right hand man, the fixer. Everything that goes wrong, he's the man for the job and he is good at it too, I just wish he was just as good with us. With me.
He always comes home to you.never on time but always.
I don't deny that.
Your actions do. He's not the only one breaking promises.
What?
Your vows. I wrote them with you, remember?
Before I could respond, He continued.
That man came from battles and managed to come home to you, only to step into another war zone. Your vows to him were in all the battles he had to face out there, he could count on his home, on you, being a safe place. That after everything he has faced, he didn't have to look forward to facing a bigger foe, like a boss in a video game.
Tears rested on my eyelids, making them heavier. How the Lord was right, how He was always right.
I am not saying don't be hurt and push yourself aside. What I'm saying is, that man out there, needs his wife right now. Because you know how it feels like to give it your all and have people make you feel like you're still not doing enough. Fulfill your vows.
That right there brought about the flood Noah. I knew exactly what He was talking about.
In the flowing tears I went to the bathroom and ran my husband a hot bath, grabbing bathing salts, bath bombs and essential oils to add in the water. I turned to grab my jar, a collection of dried flower petals that gave off a divine perfume. I also scattered some on the floor and lit two candles that complimented the smells.
After everything was set, I quietly made my way to the lounge. Coming in like a breeze rather than crashing waves I knelt beside him. I searched for his hands, his eyes looking down. Hollow, almost lifeless. Something in me broke seeing him like this.
"Come on." I whispered, tugging him to follow me. He did, without any resistance.
I led him to the bathroom, helped him out of his work clothes, my movements gentle, intentional. I could already feel him relaxing a bit. He got into the bathtub and slowly sunk in, a loud gasp escaping his lips. He let the water take him.
"I'll go get your dinner." I said, holding in the croak that wanted to come out of my throat.