Kaito closes his eyes, breathing out slowly. His face is set into a grim frown. "And I can't help but wonder, at the end of it, who I'll be. If I'll be able to tolerate my own self."
Hakoda… doesn't have an answer for him.
But he has made a decision.
...
He reaches into his pocket and fishes out a small, circular object. Together with a scroll, he holds them out to Kaito.
"The letter is for my children. Master Pakku said you would know what to do with this."
Kaito opens his eyes to look at the objects, and slowly stretches out a hand to take them both. He looks almost amused. "Sly old man," he mutters, and smiles.
Hakoda knows that the young man before him has the will to force about change. He only hopes that along the way, he never forgets that old teacher of his. He hopes that he will never forget his last question. Who will he be? Will he be able to live with himself?
Detachment mustn't become condescension, for otherwise in continuing to play the game of conforming to society when convenient becomes hypocrisy.
Acknowledging the usefulness of the game allows for the sensation of superiority that I strive to rid myself of, since that only serves my ego which is entirely unnecessary. Self-worth should be evident in the fact that I alone decide who I am and what to do with that.
Injustice forces open the eyes.
Awareness of choice.
And there is always a choice, even if it is the ultimate unknown. That is, to everyone but me and Peter.
I turn the lotus tile Hakoda gave me over in my palm. The White Lotus.
Perhaps this is Pakku's way of telling me to get some help. Or perhaps it's that he's already told his fellow pai sho lovers that I'm on my way. That'd be just like him. Give me as little room to wriggle as possible.
Then again. What do I know?
When I enter Ba Sing Se, if my purpose is to remain unseen for as long as possible, then posing as a refugee would be the easiest method. There will be monitoring in any case, be it that I manage to infiltrate a group of merchants or anything else. So, temporarily becoming a refugee would entail the least amount of additional effort.
Once inside… it would be necessary to find housing and income. To find suitable work and the right amount of hours to investigate, and make contact with the White Lotus.
If I went to the order first, the Dai Li would take notice. They would take notice if I went regardless, so what might it mean to them if I went just after entering the city?
It would seem like I should avoid it altogether.
Or perhaps make contact with the order before entering Ba Sing Se. They might have some agents inside to lend me a hand at finding accommodations.
Time to find another map.
...
"'S not a good plan," Peter says. He has planted himself on the sand beside the map. "You dunno if the White Lotus has agents there."
"If they don't, that's that. But if we're going to pretend to be refugees, then we need to get to Full Moon Bay in any case."
"Half Moon," he corrects.
"Right," I say, content that he doesn't protest any further.
We contemplate the map for a bit longer.
"Tananga," I point at the harbour.
"That place is infested with pirates," Gorou remarks.
"You're a pirate," Haruto points out like it wasn't common knowledge amongst us.
"So you keep reminding me. If you're not careful, I might begin to remember what it is pirates do to mouthy brats like you."
It seems that Gorou's patience has ended where Haruto is concerned. Well, the patience of the furious is never one to be called endless.
Haruto, looking upset, seeks out my gaze. I raise my brows at him. I'm not his guardian. He's old enough to know when to test Gorou's limits. Besides, no matter how little I believe in hierarchical structures, Haruto is clearly creating one in seeking my assistance. He has known how harsh the world is his entire life. Now he needs to learn to either spit in the face of it and take the repercussions, or cower.
"So what do you reckon? Will we pass through unscathed?" I ask once Haruto has begun to pout, realising that I won't be saying anything to Gorou about playing nice.
I like to think I'm not that much of a hypocrite.
Gorou casts a look at the two women who sit opposite him. "Not entirely."
I consider that for a moment. Mai and Circus Girl aren't exactly high on my list of priorities. We all know it. But I'm not feeling very vindictive at the moment, or even up for a bit of mild cruelty. There is very real danger to them there, no matter how well they are able to protect themselves. "Where would you recommend we go?"
Surprise all around, even Gorou who at the same time seems quietly pleased with my question. Fucking hell. I really don't like this odd group mentality. They are beginning to think of themselves as a part of a group instead of simply individuals. This is dangerous. None of us are trustworthy.
Mai is right to question my motives, my moral standing and character. Circus Girl is both the smartest and dumbest of the lot in keeping her distance from me. We have no chance of building trust between us, and that means… that we have no chance of ever understanding each other as it might become very close to necessary if we are going to Ba Sing Se together.
"The smartest thing to do would be to stock up on goods that are sorely needed within the city of Ba Sing Se. Then we enter the city to trade, and because the goods are required, the price will be good, no matter how threatening the Dai Li is. All we will have to do is get someone to forge us a Trader's Crest that will prove our trustworthiness in the city. Tananga isn't a bad place to procure something like that. For a price."
Well. That doesn't sound too bad. "What kind of price?"
"Most likely, a large sum of money and future promises to smuggle some things into the city."
"Hm," I say. That is acceptable, so long as those things never turn out to be human beings or imprisoned animals. "Alright. We will have to set up boundaries for what these things can be. We'll need a place at the docks of Ba Sing Se. We'll need to establish a means of communication with both of the Watertribes. We will have to find ways to gain access to the insides of the city to find out just how the Dai Li operates to either subvert their attentions or gain access to them. And I will have to decide on who I trust with the communications, and establishing a foothold in Ba Sing Se at the trading port."
"Then it's obvious who must do what," Circus Girl says.
And yes, I suppose she's right.
"Haruto and I will be regulars on the trade runs with the ship," I say. This puts me in direct contact with messengers and the means to organise things in relative privacy.
"I will investigate the Dai Li," Circus Girl volunteers. At my slightly suspicious glance she crosses her arms. "It's not right what they do, if they are what you say they are."
Well. I'm not sure I can trust her morality. But… I can't to everything at once. I don't have the time. Which means I must rely on her. Perhaps the one thing I can count on is that she will always look out for Mai's well-being. If I manage to tie her to the cause, then Circus Girl will be loyal. Sort of.
"Then I will establish a foothold in Ba Sing Se," Mai says. "I am a former governor's daughter. This will only be a play from the other side of the board."
Alright. But who is to say that she will not use those connections to benefit only herself and Circus Girl in regards to returning home to the Fire Nation?
"I will guard you inside the city, and when it is safer, come with Kaito," Gorou says. "Ebisu and Fon will remain in Tananga to manage the other side of our new trading business."
Why not? If I can trust Circus Girl to do her part, and Mai, why not those two, so long as there's a profit in it for them.
Now we require capital to begin the scheme.
It's a good thing the pirates were the hoarding sort.
...
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