Yamete Kimochi awoke facedown in grass so uniformly green it looked like someone had copy-pasted it across the landscape. The sky was a flawless blue gradient without a single misplaced pixel. Even the *air* smelled like freshly installed game assets.
"Ugh... GLich-chan?" He spat out a blade of grass that tasted suspiciously like default Unity texture. "Why does my mouth taste like an unlicensed asset store?"
A familiar staticky giggle echoed from nowhere. "Because 'somebody' forgot to enable 'Realistic Grass Flavor' in the settings!"
GLich-chan materialized mid-air—except now her wings were symmetrical, her glow didn't flicker, and she had an obnoxious "Certified Debug Helper" badge floating over her head.
Yamete grabbed her tiny body and shook her. "Why am I in what looks like a medieval stock photo?!"
"Congrats, dumbass!" She wriggled free. "You've been isekai'd into "Fantasy Perfect Online"—the #1 most 'balanced' RPG where fun goes to die!"
---
The town of Perfectionville was a nightmare of precision:
- NPCs walked in perfect grid patterns
- Trees grew at mathematically optimal intervals
- Even the 'dirt' had tooltips explaining its nutritional value
Yamete's eye twitched as a passing villager greeted him:
"Salutations, traveler! Would you like to engage in my pre-scripted dialogue branch? Option A advances the plot, Option B provides exposition, and Option C—"
"I choose violence," Yamete muttered, pulling up his Cheat Engine.
New System Alert:
[CORRUPTION METER: 0%]
[WARNING: Excessive cheating may cause unintended consequences]
GLich-chan gasped. "Ooooh, we got a morality system! How 'mainstream'."
---
Yamete targeted a training dummy and activated "Freeze Value".
The dummy froze mid-swing... then turned its head 360 degrees.
"To cheat or not to cheat, that is the glitch-question," it intoned in Shakespearean English before exploding into feathers.
The sky flashed red:
[ANTI-CHEAT ALERT: UNAUTHORIZED MODIFICATION DETECTED]
From the perfectly aligned sewer grates, armored knights emerged—their pauldrons bearing Sigma's logo: a golden padlock.
Anti-Cheat Paladin #1:"Halt, lawbreaker! Your irregular gameplay patterns offend the Algorithm!"
Yamete blinked. "Is this guy... T-posing to assert dominance?"
GLich-chan facepalmed. "Oh god, they 'learned' from our world."
---
What followed was the least graceful pursuit in RPG history:
- Yamete tried "Speed Hack" but tripped when the road texture failed to load beneath him
- GLich-chan distracted the paladins by spawning a "missingno chicken" (which they tried to arrest for "unlicensed poultry")
- At one point, everyone clipped through the same barrel in a slapstick loop
Critical Moment:
Cornered in an alley, Yamete attempted "Item Dupe" on a trash can.
The result?
- 1 normal trash can
- 1 sentient trash can named 'Gary' who immediately proposed to a paladin
"YOU RUINED MY IMMERSION!" screamed the knight as Gary clung to his leg.
---
As the chaos peaked, every NPC in town suddenly froze mid-action. The sky darkened into a massive "login screen":
[ADMIN SIGMA HAS JOINED THE SERVER]
A figure descended from the heavens—a man in flawless silver robes, his face obscured by a floating "THIS USER HAS ACHIEVED PERFECT BALANCE" achievement badge.
Admin Sigma: "Yamete Kimochi. The Glitchbringer. The Spoonfather." He sighed. "Why must you always... 'vaguely gesture'... 'be like this'?"
Yamete cracked his knuckles. "Hey, you kidnapped me!"
Sigma tilted his head. "No, I banished you. There's a difference."
GLich-chan whispered: "He's got you there."