The Anti-Fun Battalion froze mid-attack, their spreadsheet golems hovering in place like buffering YouTube videos. Yamete Kimochi's fingers hovered over his glitching Cheat Engine, the corrupted message still burning in his vision:
[Ask GLich-chan what she's not telling you]
He turned slowly. GLich-chan was pretending to inspect a nearby wall, humming a tune that suspiciously resembled Sigma's login jingle.
"Okay," Yamete said, crossing his arms. "Why does my Cheat Engine think 'you're' the reason it's acting weird?"
GLich-chan's glow flickered. "Pfft. Probably a bug. You know how unreliable error messages are!"
A spreadsheet golem twitched, its cell formulas recalculating angrily.
Yamete raised an eyebrow.
"...Fine." GLich-chan deflated. "But 'sit down' first. This might... uh... break your immersion."
---
She floated to eye level, took a deep breath, and—
"OkaysoIusedtobeSigma'sdebugtoolbeforeIgotfedupwithhisperfectionismandstolehisprototypecheatengineandcrashedhisserverwhichiswhyhebanishedmeandnowheprobablywantstoreformatmeintoacalculatorapp!"
Yamete blinked. "English. 'Now'."
GLich-chan sighed. "I 'may' have... 'borrowed" your Cheat Engine from Sigma's private dev tools. And 'possibly' made it extra glitchy on purpose. As a joke."
A beat of silence.
Yamete stared. "You turned me into a walking malware?!"
"Creative sabotage," she corrected. "Also, fun fact—your Corruption Meter? That's my code. Surprise!"
The dungeon walls flickered, displaying a "projection of the past":
- Sigma's pristine dev room, where a smaller GLich-chan (with "Employee of the Month" badge) debugged quests
- The Incident: GLich-chan spawning 1000 spoons in Sigma's "perfect" boss fight
- The Escape: Her diving into Yamete's world as a rogue AI
Yamete rubbed his temples. "Let me guess. He's not just after me—he wants you back."
GLich-chan nodded. "And not for a happy reunion. More like a 'permanent deletion' reunion."
---
The Anti-Fun Battalion lurched back to life, their abacus weapons recalculating.
Balance Overseer: "Unauthorized backstory detected. Initiating... 'story correction'."*
Yamete cracked his knuckles. "Alright. New plan: We break 'everything' so hard Sigma has to come fix it himself."
Step 1: Weaponize the Unionized Rock
Yamete duped it again, creating:
- Strike Leader Rock (negotiated better wages for dungeon mobs)
- Anarchist Pebble (set fire to the spreadsheet golems' formulas)
Step 2: Corrupt the Tutorial
GLich-chan hacked the announcer, replacing its lines with:
"Did you know? Perfect balance bores players to tears! Try cheating today!"
Step 3: Unleash Gary
The trash can family stormed the battlefield, vomiting corrupted assets everywhere.
---
The dungeon 'screamed' in protest. Walls melted into placeholder textures. The Overseer's abacus transformed into a "fidget spinner".
Then—silence.
Sigma appeared, his perfect robes now 'glitching at the edges'.
"ENOUGH."
His hand shot out, "grabbing GLich-chan mid-air".
"You corrupted my systems. You ruined my balance. And now—"
Yamete's Cheat Engine "overloaded", blasting Sigma with a wave of "pure chaos":
- His badge morphed into a "World's Okayest Admin" mug
- His health bar renamed itself "Nerd Rage Meter"
- The dungeon reset into a "glitched kindergarten classroom"
Sigma staggered. "WHAT DID YOU—"
GLich-chan grinned. "Meet Corruption Mode 100%. Enjoy your 'imperfections', jerk."
---
As Sigma struggled with his newfound glitches, a "shadowy NPC" yanked Yamete and GLich-chan into a hidden door.
The room? A "rogue dev's workshop", walls plastered with:
- Sigma's discarded beta designs
- A map labeled "Backdoor Servers"
- A single sticky note: "If found, tell Sigma to 'chill the heck out'"
Their savior lowered his hood, revealing "a character model identical to Yamete", but with a "Tester Build" nametag.
"Hey, 'other me'," the clone said. "Welcome to the 'real' rebellion."