"You're awake, so get out of here, you stupid beast." "God damn, woman, give me a moment!" "A-Are you checking me out!? Ew, fucking disgusting! Leave you, perverted bastard!" "I'm not! S-Stop hitting me, you old hag!" "Leave. Now. COOPER!"
Protecting my head as Porlyusica repeatedly swung her broom, I exited her cabin, stepping onto the porch, which caused her to slam the door shut, locking it. Free from her violence, I lowered my arms and glared at the locked door, snorting in irritation as I stuffed my hands in my pockets and walked away.
"Tch, stupid old woman. I wasn't even checking her hag body out; s-she just happened to bend over right in front of me. If the TV's on, we're going to watch, dammit." I licked my lips, only to shiver in disgust as I rapidly shook my head. 'Dammit, Cooper. What's wrong with you!? How could you lust after a sixty-something woman!?'
Kicking a tree over, I grumbled softly, trekking through the forest back to Magnolia, which turned out to be rather peaceful; exiting the forest, I spotted Magnolia's walls, causing me to leap over them when I got close.
Landing in Magnolia, in a dark alley behind a building, I witnessed a few men mugging a mother-and-daughter duo; when they saw me, their expressions shifted. The mother-and-daughter duo, terrified, wore shocked expressions before sighing in relief simultaneously; the three men, their greedy, arrogant expressions transformed into pure horror.
Eyeing the three men, I growled, causing them to drop their weapons; they collapsed to their knees, kowtowing toward me. "W-We're wrong!" "Y-Yes, please, we're wrong, Cooper! We'll turn ourselves in!" "Please. Please don't hurt us!" Glancing at the last one, who even began weeping, I scoffed.
"Stop picking on those weaker than you; if you're going to mug someone, at least pick a man… Get the hell out of my face." "Y-Yes! We understand!" "I-I'll engrave your words into my heart!" "T-Thank you! T-Thank Y-You." Hurriedly, the trio stood up, bowed, and sprinted off, running away, causing me to glance at the mother-and-daughter duo.
"You should know better than to walk down a dark alley." "S-Sorry." The mother blushed in shame and averted her gaze, causing me nod before raising an eyebrow. "So, you single?" At my question, the mother flinched before picking up her daughter while slowly backing away. "Um, y-you know, i-it's getting late, I-I should put my daughter to sleep. S-See you, Cooper. T-Thank you again for saving us, t-truly."
Watching her nervously back away, she bowed before turning around, speed-walking away, disappearing into the busy street, causing me to growl in annoyance as I followed her path, stepping onto the street, heading to the guild. "Tch, so annoying. The women in Magnolia are a bunch of cowards."
Grumbling at how I'm never able to sleep around in Magnolia, I entered the gates of the guild, kicking open the doors and stepping inside. "Oi, Mira, get me a barrel! I need a drink to take the edge off." Grabbing Nab's head, I tossed him into the ceiling before yawning as I approached the bar, plopping onto a stool, glancing at Mira, who seemed a bit different.
"Here you go, big bro." Placing a barrel on the bar, Mira uncorked it, causing me to nod while pushing away the drooling Cana to my right. "Stop it, this is mine. Buy your own drunkard." Shooting Cana a glare, I grabbed the barrel, consuming half the barrel in one go before loudly burping.
"Fuck, that's better… Is it just me, or do you seem exceptionally beautiful today, Mira?" Leaning over the bar, I stared intensely at Mira, causing her to chuckle as she fanned herself. "Fufu, oh my, big bro, you'll make me blush." Furrowing my brows, I sat back down, curious why Mira seemed to be in an incredibly good mood.
"Did something happen to Erza?" Tapping my chin, I glanced at Cana, who shook her head while staring at my barrel, causing me to scratch my head in confusion. 'Why is she so happy, then?' I stared at Mira for a bit longer before eventually shrugging; I was curious, but since Mira was happy, I didn't dwell on it for long.
"Oh, big bro, your hair is just as silky smooth and lush as I remember!" Feeling someone play with my hair, I grunted. "Before you ask, for the umpteenth time, no, I don't do a thing to it; well, other than soaking it in the blood of my enemies." I licked my lips towards the end, causing her to laugh.
Rolling my eyes as the women love asking that question, as if they're expecting a different response, I down the rest of my barrel, letting her play around with my hair; however, as I set the barrel down, I noticed the guild had quieted down, not only that, but a bunch of gazes were directed at me.
"Oi, if you're fucking with my hair, I'll plant you head-first in the ground." Growling, I spun in my stool, eyeing the person behind me, only to see Mira. "Huh, Mira? The hell." "Fufu, big bro, that's not me." Tilting my head, I turned back around, eyeing Mira, who was standing opposite me behind the bar.
Frowning, I turned back around, giving the 'Mira' a hard look, realizing that it was indeed not Mira; her hair was cut short, she was a bit younger, and her gaze didn't hold that deep confidence within them. As I stared at her, she pouted, offended. "C'mon, I know I grew a little, but are you telling me you've forgotten me?"
Realizing who she was, I growled in anger, flaring my magic power while using indestructible magic on my eyes, intending to see right through this pathetic transformation magic. "Oi, who was the fucking dumbass that thought this would be funn–" My words were caught in my throat as I got nothing back.
If the person was using transformation magic, I would be able to see right through them; my eyes would cancel out their magic, revealing their true appearance; however, nothing happened. Her appearance remained the same; she was a bit older, a bit more mature than I remembered, but the woman standing before me was the Lisanna I knew.
"W-What the hell?" My magic power deflated instantly as I stood up, towering over her while looking down, gently cupping her face, which made her smile. "Heh, I missed you, big bro." Smiling, she hugged me; I just stared at her as she pulled herself flush against me, only to return the gesture, wrapping my arms around her lithe figure and hugging her tightly.
My hair formed a curtain around my face, blocking my view, which was good, as they wouldn't see the tears threatening to fall. "Y-You–H-How–W-Where?" There were so many questions I wanted to ask that I didn't know what to ask first; she should be dead. No, not should, she is dead; she had a corpse, she was buried.
"Fufu, you missed the explanation as you were with Porlyusica, big bro." I heard Mira but didn't react, standing motionlessly while tightly hugging Lisanna, refusing to let her go, scared that if I did, she'd vanish. "Um, big bro, I-I know you missed me, but we've been hugging for a few minutes already." I promptly ignored Lisanna, with no intention of letting go of the hug.
"Haha, c'mon, ease up a bit, Cooper." Laughing, Gildarts approached me, causing me to blast the full force of my magic power while also glaring at him through the curtain of my hair, stopping him in place. "Okay, okay, I get. I'll back off… Sis-con." Raising his hands, Gildarts backed off, returning to his seat.
Picking Lisanna up, I sat down on the stool, placed her on my lap, and hugged her waist. "O-Oh my, well, I-I don't hate this." Blushing slightly, Lisanna leaned against my back, causing Natsu to shout. "Hey! Not cool, big bro!" "Sit the hell down!" I growled in response, glaring at him, causing him to flinch, though unlike usual, he didn't back down.
"She's my little sister, what's wrong with her sitting on my lap?" Raising an eyebrow at Natsu, he opened his mouth, trying to retort, before blushing slightly and uncomfortably sitting back down. Ignoring Natsu, I looked at Lisanna, who cleared her throat and began retelling her story.
"So, it was about 3 years ago, you know, on that day when you believed I died…"
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"... After that, I was sent back here along with you guys." Finishing her hour-long explanation, I nodded, having learned about what she experienced during those three years. However, the comforting hug I was giving her slowly tightened. "Um, big bro, can you ease up?" "So, you mean to tell me, for three full years, you didn't once try to figure out a way to return home?"
Brushing aside her hair, I leaned forward, staring intensely at her face, causing her to awkwardly avert her gaze; well, she at least tried. "Edolas-Mira and Edolas-Elfman had lost their Lisanna for good, I-I wanted to–" "I understand what you mean, Lisanna, but howcome you didn't try to figure out a way to return? You didn't have to use it immediately; you could've waited."
Lisanna had no words; she just opened and closed her mouth like a fish. "Oh, I'm punishing you severely." "M-Mira, h-help!"