I wanted to run out before I was exposed as a fraud. I was afraid that my heart and mind would not be able to listen openly to these women exuding feminine grace. But I was also afraid that I could not handle truly understanding this life.
I was afraid understanding it would change me.
"Come and sit over with some of the younger women… The official meeting will not start for a little while. You can get to know them," Eunice spoke up, snapping me from my frozen brain, which seemed to be at the edge of breaking.
Still, I followed her to the corner with younger women. The small group was a little different from the other groups of louder and happier ladies. It was not like they were unhappy, but they seemed to have an air that showed a lack of confidence.
"Hello, ladies," Eunice said. "This is Catherine. She is looking to learn more about our community. Since you are the newer members, I thought you could start her off a little easier. Will that be alright?"
The women agreed with nods.
Eunice looked at me. "We can talk further after the meeting. For now, try to enjoy yourself."
With that, she left, and I turned to the women. Someone quickly asked me to sit in the little circle of seats. I settled without hesitation because I was a little curious about this group of young women.
"The meeting?"
The young women looked at each other before one of them answered.
"Every week, the chapter meets for community connection, but we have a short communal session, sort of like a sermon," The lady said. "It covers different topics relating to a life of virtue as women."
I nodded, but I could feel those tendrils of judgment with regard to women learning how to live a virtuous life arising within my heart and mind. However, I squashed them quickly because I could not let the Kingmaker win.
Plus, it was a learning opportunity after all.
"That sounds like it could be interesting," I replied. "How did you end up joining the chapter?"
The same young woman answered. "We ended up here in different ways. I was in a school affiliated with the Order of Paragons since I was a child. It only made sense for me to join once I graduated."
Two more young women chimed in. "Me too."
"I was raised in an orphanage under the Order of Paragons, and we had a good study program. I graduated and started working there. I was encouraged to join in order to have more women my age to interact with," Another lady said.
The group was silent before the most elegant-looking young lady spoke up.
"Obviously, our stories are not all sad and complicated." Her words had a bite, and the other ladies looked uncomfortable. "I got married to a prominent member of the Order, and it only seemed right for me to support him."
The group was silent for a moment.
"Isabella is a recent convert," The first young woman said with an apologetic expression.
My eyebrows went up.
I did not think that Eunice was right in introducing this group to me first if she wanted me to love the women's chapter. It seemed that I was right about the air of lacking confidence. Insecurities often led to infighting, especially since it looked like this chapter was a little elitist.
"Is the transition difficult?" I asked Isabella.
There was a flicker of uncertainty and even a bit of fear before Isabella answered.
"I am still learning, but I have a supportive husband." She seemed to be clinging to the idea of her husband quite strongly. "I thought I would be promoted earlier, but I am too young, so I am stuck here for now."
The first young woman took over again. "We have different groups in the chapter to ensure that everyone learns the tenets properly. The more experienced one is, the higher up the chain they can go."
I nodded with understanding. It was not an uncommon practice in any type of organisation.
"What about you?" Isabella asked. "You do not seem like one of us. There is an air of something that says you are not devout. I used to be a paralegal, so I know people."
I was slightly amused. Isabella might be a novice in the organisation, but she was certainly quite experienced in life. It would explain why, despite her assertive personality, she was not the leader of the group.
In this organisation, the leader had to be someone of genuine virtue, like the first young woman. Someone who embodied gentleness, kindness, and consideration for other people… Isabella did not.
"I am not indeed a devout believer. However, I have been curious about the Order of Paragons, so I pulled some strings to be able to attend a meeting and find out more about it," I explained with a smile.
The young woman almost gasped in shock.
One of the young women who had not spoken chimed in. "I had to take a lot of tests before I was even considered for the initial learning program. You must know powerful people."
I smiled stiffly. "Something like that. Why did you want to join?"
"The rest of us do not have interesting stories," She replied with some embarrassment. "We wanted to join the chapter since we were young. The process is long and requires a lot of studying. It is not worth mentioning."
I was relieved to learn that it was nothing like I thought about. Not everyone found themselves on the path to the chapter due to circumstances. The group was of about thirteen, so only about four did not exactly choose the path.
"I think that is amazing. You have achieved a goal that you worked for, and that is admirable. It could not have been easy." I replied with genuine admiration.
Before the conversation, I heard the soft chime of a bell.
The group of young women stood up and lifted their chairs. When in Rome… I followed their actions. Within moments, the hall was organised with all the chairs facing forward. Everyone sat down and faced the podium.