Tet switched the channel back to Zeus just in time to see him slowly losing ground against Kratos, his lightning no longer as effective against the furious God of War. Kratos closed the distance in a heartbeat and, rather than strike Zeus with his blades, chose instead to repeatedly pummel him with his fists, each blow driving the older god deeper into the ground. Zeus was completely powerless to fight back.
Tet let out a low hum of disbelief and said, "It would seem he lost a lot of his divinity in the short time we weren't looking."
Apollo winced at the screen and muttered, "Man, this is just a brutal one-sided beatdown… pass the popcorn."
Hermes, without looking away from the carnage, handed Apollo the popcorn.
Tet exhaled sharply, almost pitying, and asked, "Should I just end this and send Zeus on to the retirement home?"
"Absolutely not," Hades declared.
Everyone turned toward him—only to find Hades enthusiastically recording the entire one-sided slaughter with an expensive video camera. He was fully committed to the bit, wearing a "Kratos is Number One" T-shirt, a "Kratos Rulez" hat, and a giant "Go Kratos" foam finger. Hades glanced at their stares and said flatly, "What?"
Tet chuckled and turned away. "Let's see how Hera is doing."
The channel flipped to Hera fighting desperately for her life as she was knocked into the air by Heracles, turned into a pincushion by Chiron, and blasted back to the ground by Medea.
Tet raised his eyebrows. "Not much better. In fact, it might be worse."
"Yeah, it's tragic, isn't it?" Apollo said, voice suspiciously cheerful.
Artemis arched an eyebrow. "What's tragic?"
"It's tragic that we can only do this once," Apollo replied, sounding genuinely disappointed.
Artemis nodded solemnly. "Ah. That is indeed tragic. If only we could do it again…" She glanced at Tet hopefully.
Tet sighed, already regretting what he knew he was about to say. "Okay, if I find another evil Hera, I'll let you guys handle it."
In perfect unison, Apollo and Artemis chimed, "Thank you."
Tet switched the channel again, this time to Athena—just in time to see her fly across the island, sliding on her back through the dirt. She was covered from head to toe in cuts, burns, and arrows.
Persephone frowned. "Didn't Athena have a lot more enemies? Why let only these three take a shot at her?"
"Because these three were wronged the most," Tet explained. "I mean, I guess you could argue Arachne deserves a shot, but she kind of did it to herself. I mean, who's dumb enough to challenge a god at their own game and expect it to go well? No, the sisters deserve this more—especially Medusa."
They all watched as Athena was brutally attacked by the three sisters, one after the other, each unleashing a relentless barrage of strikes against the wounded goddess.
Tet scratched his cheek awkwardly and admitted, "I may have made these fights a bit unfair. I expected them to be more even… but I forgot how powerful heroic spirits are, especially well-known ones."
He changed the channel again. "Let's see how Dionysus is doing."
The screen shifted to show Dionysus sitting at a table, slamming back drinks at an inhuman pace, currently locked in a terrifying drinking contest with his opponent.
Hermes squinted. "Is that Bo' Rai Cho from Mortal Kombat?"
"Yes, yes it is," Tet replied casually. "I decided to let Dionysus off easy by having him experience death by liver failure multiple times instead of getting his ass kicked. After this, he's gonna spend a few months in the Backrooms. Then he gets to go to the retirement home."
Apollo leaned over to Hermes and whispered, "That is the exact opposite of going easy on him."
Tet changed the channel again, this time revealing Demeter locked in combat with a small girl in a red kimono. The girl had black hair tied up neatly and wore a long golden divine raiment draped around her shoulders. Despite her size, she wielded a simple garden hoe with absolute confidence. Demeter commanded the surrounding plants to attack, but the girl shredded every vine and branch like paper as she calmly advanced toward the goddess.
Back in the theater, everyone turned to Tet for an explanation. Tet folded his arms and said, "That girl is from a game called Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin. She is Sakuna, goddess of the harvest."
Persephone blinked at the screen. "Huh… she seems to be a bit stronger than my mother."
"Well, in fairness, your mother isn't a fighter," Tet replied. "Sakuna, on the other hand, is the daughter of a war god and a goddess of harvest. The more people who cultivate rice—her sacred crop—the stronger she becomes. And she's currently in a modern world where rice is produced and sold on an absolutely unimaginable scale compared to the world her game takes place in. So she's basically unstoppable right now… and is just toying with your mom."
As if to prove Tet's point, Sakuna blurred forward with a burst of speed, appearing directly in front of Demeter. She swung her garden hoe with such overwhelming force that the blow launched Demeter so high into the sky that she became nothing more than a distant twinkle.
Hestia let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and said, "Wow… why has all of this felt good for some reason? It's like years of stress and anger are just melting away."
"It's called catharsis, sister," Hades said, sounding far too pleased. "Don't question it. Enjoy it."
Tet switched the screen over to Poseidon's channel.
Poseidon approached a round stone table where a young man with long brown hair tied in a ponytail and golden eyes was seated. He wore a sharp black and brown formal outfit. Beside him sat a young woman with long, flowing purple hair and vivid violet eyes, dressed in a purple kimono, purple stockings, wooden sandals, and a golden hair ornament. Both of them were calmly sipping tea as if nothing in the world could disturb them.
Poseidon narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What is this?"
The man at the table spoke first in a deep, composed voice. "First, introductions. You may call me Zhongli."
The woman added with politeness, "And I am Raiden Ei. We ask that you surrender and retire peacefully. Otherwise, we will have to defeat you."
Poseidon brandished his trident defiantly. "I refuse."
"So be it," Zhongli said as he began to rise—only to be gently stopped by Ei, who lifted a hand.
"You handled the last mission our Lord gave, did you not?" she asked. "This one is mine."
Zhongli paused, then nodded and sat back down. "Very well."
Ei stepped forward, approaching Poseidon with deliberate, regal strides. As she walked, thunderclouds churned overhead, lightning cracked across the sky, and thunder rumbled with every step she took. A fierce wind whipped across the area, and Zhongli casually raised an umbrella over the table as the first drops of rain fell, pouring himself more tea without a hint of concern.
When Ei was only a short distance away from Poseidon, she reached into the chest of her kimono and, from seemingly nowhere, drew a long purple-and-gold naginata crackling with purple lightning. Her eyes sharpened as she declared, "Come. It has been centuries since I last faced another god in combat."
Back in the theater, Apollo slid his sunglasses up with a grin spreading across his face. "Okay—three things. One, that was cool as hell. Two, who is that? And three, is she single?"
Artemis immediately smacked him upside the head. "Apollo's idiotic comment aside, I'd also like to know who she is."
Tet nodded. "She's Raiden Ei. You can think of her as a god of thunder. She's a lot stronger than Poseidon—especially since I restored her to her peak. If you thought Zeus's lightning was powerful… well, hers is on another level."
Persephone frowned, her expression tightening as she pointed at the screen. "Okay, but did she have to pull her weapon out like that?"
Apollo and Hermes immediately answered in perfect unison, "Yes."
Apollo leaned back with a smug grin and added, "In fact, I think more women should pull out their weapons like that."
Artemis shot him a flat, withering stare. "And people wonder why I made my oath," she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.
Apollo smirked wider. "You mean the oath that is now meaningless because the Fates no longer control jack shit?"
Artemis blinked, her face going blank with realization. "Oh. I… didn't think about that."
Tet smirked and said. "Oh yes, feel free to have a relationship. Just don't be like the Artemis in the Fate universe."
Apollo tilted his head, curious. "What happened to her?"
Tet gestured vaguely at the screen, grimacing. "She got into a relationship and… well, she's a yandere."
Apollo recoiled in horror. "Oh gods no. Who's the poor bastard she's with?!"
Tet answered dryly, "Orion."
Apollo's expression immediately flipped into apathy. "Never mind. Fuck him. He deserves it anyway." He glanced around the room and then added, "Anyway, while we're staying side-tracked—what's with the fairy?"
Everyone turned their heads toward the tiny fairy floating near the snacks, happily munching on caramel corn without a care in the world.
Tet nodded toward her. "Oh, that's Ramiris. She's gonna be helping me with a project after this. Anyone that wants to join is welcome to."
Hestia's hand shot up as she smiled brightly. "I'll go."
Apollo shrugged casually. "Sure, I'm game."
Artemis crossed her arms. "Why not."
With that settled, they all turned their attention back to the screen.
There they saw Ei and Poseidon clashing weapons, sparks and lightning bursting with every strike. Poseidon tried to slip through her guard with a desperate burst of speed, but Ei countered with fluid precision, slashing him across the chest. She immediately pressed forward, pushing him back with relentless force until he slammed his trident against the ground, creating a violent tremor meant to throw her off balance.
Instead of stumbling, Ei leaped into the air with calm confidence and sent down a massive bolt of lightning. The explosion engulfed the area around Poseidon and sent him flying like a ragdoll.
She rushed after him in a flash of purple light and unleashed a flurry of slashes—each one cutting deeper than the last—leaving him battered, bleeding, and struggling to stay upright. Poseidon continued to fight, panting heavily, completely unaware that every movement drained more of his already-fading divinity.
He also didn't notice that the deity standing before him wasn't even using a quarter of her full strength.
Ei raised her blade once more and blasted him across the field again, lightning crackling in her eyes.
Finally, Tet flicked the remote with a grin, the screen shifting once again. The channel changed to show Aphrodite wandering through a quiet forest, sunlight filtering through the leaves and dancing across her skin as she moved with absentminded elegance.
She strolled along without a hint of caution, completely oblivious to the glowing pair of yellow eyes watching her from the shadows—unblinking, silent, and clearly waiting.