"Do you think that being a saint makes you a hero? Young Baragnon could have been hurt badly by your stupidity."
"I know that. I really thought I would be able to help him escape, I didn't thought the kidnapping would actually happen."
With a weary sigh, Lucian explained his actions. Saying aloud that he thought was able to stop Stephen's kidnapping sounded like the most stupid plan. Certainly he treated everything as if it were information coming from a premonition, but the fact was that Lucian blindly believed that the original story would follow its course regardless of his intervention or not.
In the end, it was a mystery to know what would remain of the original and what would change. All this experience was too scary for Lucian, especially to see Magnus unconscious in a bed a few meters away. By what the Emperor told, his husband was also ambushed inside the forest, and that this caused two wounds in his body.
That is... Magnus came to meet Lucian already wounded.
This made Lucian's stomach turn even more. Taking a deep breath, the prince tried to calm down before it caused further trouble. The last thing Lucian wanted was to feel bad, as if he were even more pathetic than he already felt.
"I understand that your vision gives you a glimpse of the future and that it can bring the feeling that you are able to change someone's fate, my son", Cassander said, touching his shoulder, "but you must remember that this is not just about you."
"I know, I'm a prince, I'm priority for having royal blood..."
"This is not just about you being royalty or not, Lucian. Your father and I know the pain of losing children in battle. We have experienced battles where we saw comrades lose their lives. Do you think we would like to see you acting recklessly because of your gift? Do you think the goddess blessed you to be a hero? We almost lost you today."
Having Cassander looking at him so worried and sweetly made Lucian falter. It was confusing to hear that serene and gentle tone of voice that contradicted his serious posture on a daily basis. Especially now that Lucian has glimpsed the third memory of the Eighth Prince.
Raising his head to Lucian's parents, the prince saw in them a sadness so genuine that it bordered on frustration. Just as he was frustrated and blaming himself for what happened, Lucian had the slight impression that the Emperor and the Consort also blamed themselves for something.
They were worried about Lucian.
But this conflicted with the memory that Lucian had when Raven touched him earlier.
Just remembering the feeling of crying as if he had torn his heart from his chest while reading the letter, whose content was still unknown to him, Lucian seemed to dive into that sea of confusion without being able to breathe properly.
Who to trust?
What should he do?
"I believe you have also been frightened, Your Highness", Jesse said in his monotonous tone, "For having lived in your palace for so many years without participating in high society or war, it is expected that reason will be lacking in moments of decision. However, this seems to me something more dangerous, even now that it has reported on the kidnapping."
"What do you mean?", Cassander asked.
"Why would they kidnap young Baragnon?"
"Many nobles were taken hostage during the invasion."
"Yes, Priest, but they were held hostage to gain advantage in the fight, not to be taken somewhere. Not to be kidnapped. The First Prince told that he, Magnus and the First Princess were ambushed by rebels deep in the forest. And now, His Highness has reported that mercenaries have used the First Princess to relay a message specifically to him. So I wonder, why would they try to kidnap young Baragnon if the goal was Lucian?"
"Whatever the purpose, somehow it drew His Highness directly into its clutches."
The four looked at Lucian, who did not dare to answer. Jesse took his fingers to his chin as his countenance became cold.
"Does His Highness have any affection for the young man?"
"What?!" Lucian replied immediately "Not at all! I just saw him being kidnapped and tried to rescue him."
"Considering only his side, I can understand him. However, the mercenaries seemed to know that young Baragnon would attract you and it bothers me. I don't want to disdain your feelings, but I hope you're not the kind of person who would cheat my brother."
Lucian understood Jesse's point, and of course it made sense. Only that Lucian could not say that the mercenaries — ignorant guys — mistook Stephen for Magnus and so tried to take him. After all, how could him prove your point?
If he spoke openly, it would raise suspicion. And not everything could be said as part of his vision, for as soon as he received the information in a divinatory form, he should have notified Skyler, as the priest said the other day.
In the end, regardless of which path he chose to follow, Lucian would become suspicious.
"I have no feelings for young Baragnon. I'm faithful to my husband, and I love him deeply. I know I was wrong to run into danger, but my intention was never to put anyone's life at risk, especially my husband."
The voice staggered. The heart accelerated bordering the precipice of emotions.
Why did they look at him with disdain?
He was fed up. Lucian was starting to get tired of living inside that story. The hunting festival was too much for him. To bear one's feelings, several of them mixed in a tornado, was being a burden. Lucian desperately wanted to run away.
His shoulders fell in withdrawal. Their ears no longer picked up the voices of others, who seemed to talk among themselves. Lucian also had no courage to face Magnus lying in bed for the rest of the day.
When he looked out the window, Lucian saw the beautiful Count's garden completely destroyed by the invasion. Behind the walls, there was an immense flow of people leaving in their carriages and other wounded being carried into the mansion as soon as the sun went down.
Standing, arms crossed and looking empty, the prince reflected his own mistakes with bitterness. Even when the room was empty with a snoring of a wounded omega, or when the doctor came in to change the bandages and give more medicine, Lucian kept looking at the window lost in thoughts.
The night fell on the Roveaven Empire, the mansion's halls became quieter. The reflection on window showed the crimson eyes' brightness that approached Lucian by his back in ghostly steps. Still, Lucian was unable to move.
"What's with that face, Lucian?"
The prince shivered when Magnus's faint voice sounded in a whisper in his ear. Squeezing his fingers in his blouse, the alpha controlled the emotions and the desire to scream like a child.
Shouldn't he turn around to see the state of Magnus?
Why was he already standing?
Lucian had questions that did not come out of his mouth. His eyes just stared at the window in an immense emptiness that practically became infinite. The blame was the heavy ankles that prevented him from raising his feet and turning around.
Lucian wanted to be a ghost.
The shame was too much.
"How cold of you to ignore me."
Uttering a heavy sigh, Lucian accepted his own defeat.
"Why are you standing, Magnus? You should be resting."
"They said I was out all day, but meanwhile it looks like the world is crumbling in your eyes."
"Do you also intend to question me about why I ran away?"
"I'll hear what you have to say later. Could you turn around?"
Why was he using such a gentle tone of voice? Lucian simply melted just by hearing his voice. Turning to face Magnus, finally staring into those crimson eyes, Lucian shuddered and felt the tip of his nose tingle slightly.
He wished he could cry, but still he had no tears. Something prevented him from really delighting in his own sadness.
Magnus stared at him silently, with his chest bandaged and small dressings covering his arms. Seeing him in that state and still standing, was an arrow in Lucian. The prince intended to look away, but Magnus reached out his hand holding his chin to prevent him from fleeing.
"Be honest and tell me what is going on in your head at this very moment."
"At this exact moment?", whispered the alpha with trembling voice.
Magnus nodded his head, still holding his chin. Lucian could make a long list of feelings and emotions that has digested all day. Could list the various curses for himself, and how he was sorry to have made a decision that put his life at risk. Lucian could say that he loved Magnus, that he did not choose to run after Stephen Baragnon because had some feeling for him.
There was so much to be said.
Only that Lucian whispered with his eyes slightly seared something that made Magnus understand it completely.
"I can't take it anymore."
With those words spoken in a whispering voice, Magnus hugged Lucian lightly against his chest. His body was so warm and cozy. Made him feel like he belonged there. The smell of Magnus, mixed with the remedies used on his wounds, seemed to bring an unexpected and comforting comfort.
"Whatever happened, I believe you did it for me. Lucian, you didn't kill me and I'm still alive."
Magnus still remembered the time that Lucian told him about seeing his death and that he was responsible for the tragic end. The only person in all that history who really understood and saw his actions without having to say. Magnus Grimwood, the first villain in a novel, saw his despair and embraced his mistake knowing he tried to get it right.
This made Lucian cry and fall in love even more.