Episode 161: Bodyguard Ranking List 1,735 He Dachun, reporting to you!
『 "This time, I'm definitely going to strike it rich!" Seven repeatedly compared the people in the photos, finally confirming his target.
"Huh, why is there a man with a Pentagon face, buzz cut?"
At this moment, Seven noticed a man with a Pentagon face standing next to his target, his heart filled with confusion.
"Move aside, Pentagon face!" Seven said to He Dachun with a look of disdain.
Completely focused on his target, Seven didn't notice a chain scythe quietly approaching his head.
"Ow!"
With a flick of the chain scythe,
Seven suddenly fell from the coconut tree, landing in someone's hand.
"This coconut is quite heavy; it must have a lot of water!"
The big man who caught Seven exclaimed.
Then, he pulled out a sharp, small knife and plunged it into the coconut that Seven had transformed into.
"Ah!" Seven cried out in pain.
Smoke billowed, and after it cleared, Seven stood frozen in place, hands in his pockets, with a single knife still on his head.
The two guys witnessed this scene and were instantly stunned.
"Hey, have you seen my coconut?"
The tall, ugly man asked Seven.
"Hand over the coconut!"
The tall, ugly man grabbed Seven, while the short, fat man held up a knife, threatening him to hand over the coconut.
"No time to waste with you guys!"
Seven glanced at his target, who was already heading towards the small bridge by the beach, and said anxiously. 』
『 .....』
〜Dimensional livestream, Chat Room〜
[ Oyama Mahiro (Onimai): Such a big coconut, it's a bit of a shame to lose it. ]
[ Wang Ling (Daily Life of the Immortal King): "A coconut, it looks pretty good." ]
[ Seven (Scissor Seven): "Hey, hey, hey, what exactly do you mean by 'a shame'?" ]
[ Paimon (Genshin Impact): "What kind of delicious food is it?" ]
[ Lumine (Genshin Impact): "..." ]
[ .....]
『 Without another word, Seven kicked the short, fat man to the ground, then picked up the nearby versatile arcade machine and slammed it repeatedly onto the ground.
"What are you looking at?! Call the police quickly!"
"Our coconut has been stolen!"
The tall, skinny, ugly man, seeing Seven disappear in a cloud of smoke, urgently yelled at the short, fat man who was sprawled on the ground, staring wide-eyed at him.
By now, Seven had transformed into a crab, scuttling sideways on the ground, completely ignoring the flustered, tall, skinny, ugly man.
After Seven's target had passed,
He Dachun stood solemnly on the small wooden bridge.
Seven, in his crab form, was crawling across the bridge. He Dachun glanced at him, and without a second thought, kicked the "crab" flying!
Afterward, He Dachun continued to look around, cautiously observing his surroundings.
Under the wooden bridge, Seven had now transformed into an adorable little yellow duck, drifting leisurely with the current.
"Hehehehehehe!" Seven had a smug, punchable grin on his face.
"I knew playing a crab wouldn't get me through!"
No sooner had he spoken than He Dachun's head emerged from the wooden planks, staring directly at Seven.
Seven looked at this scene in surprise,
"Are... are you an assassin?"
He Dachun looked at the little yellow duck under the bridge, his face full of confusion.
Seeing this, Seven lay down on the sea surface, feigning the appearance of a lovable little yellow duck.
"Oh, so it's one of those little yellow ducks you play with in the bath!"
He Dachun was fooled by Seven's appearance.
He reached out and scooped Seven up, cradling him carefully in his palms.
He Dachun scrutinized the little yellow duck in his hand,
Suddenly, he squeezed hard,
"Hey! How are you, happy?" He Dachun brought the little yellow duck close to his face and asked with a smile.
Before he finished speaking, the little yellow duck (Seven) was flattened by his squeeze.
Under the torment of this guy named He Dachun, Seven was as uncomfortable as a little yellow duck, letting out a hoarse cry.
"Huh, do you want to play with me?" He Dachun stared at the little yellow duck, asking with a grin.
Seven looked at He Dachun's big, Pentagon face, instinctively feeling that something bad was about to happen!
"This is so much fun!" He Dachun held Seven in his hand, kneading him back and forth. Seven changed shapes in his palm, never quite becoming a normal little yellow duck.
"The resilience is incredible; no matter how I mess with it, it doesn't break." He Dachun twisted Seven's neck into a circle, then clicked his tongue in wonder.
He Dachun didn't seem to be satisfied yet, so he directly placed Seven under his foot and stomped hard, flattening Seven into a thin sheet.
"It's so elastic, do you think I can bite through it?" He Dachun stared at the little yellow duck in his hand, his face full of confusion.
"Bite?!" Hearing this, Seven felt as if he had been struck by lightning, his vision seemingly turning black and white!
He Dachun slowly brought Seven towards his big mouth.
"You, you, what are you going to do?!" Seven watched He Dachun's big mouth, even seeing the peculiar smell and throat clearly.
Just at this critical moment, as Seven was about to lose it and reveal his true form—
"Oh no! I can't be playing around when I'm on a mission!"
At this moment, He Dachun suddenly realized.
Thinking this, He Dachun threw Seven into the air, then kicked him into the sea. 』
『 .....』
〜Dimensional livestream, Chat Room〜
[ Inuyasha (Inuyasha) "This transformation is worse than no transformation; is it fun to be played with like this after transforming?" ]
[ Paimon (Genshin Impact): "Indeed, it feels so uncomfortable. Every time he transforms, he gets played with." ]
[ Arataki Itto (Genshin Impact): "It's fun, but so boring. Why hasn't that previous title come out yet?" ]
[ Seven (Scissor Seven): "This, hahaha, I don't know either." ]
[ Umaru Doma (Himouto): "This, it doesn't really feel like a true killer... assassin." ]
[ Conan Edogawa (Detective Conan): "If all criminals were like him, that would be great." ]
[ .....]
『 In the screen,
"Escaped a calamity, good luck is sure to follow!" Seven lay in the sea, his heart still pounding as he thought.
"Of the thirty-six stratagems, running away is the best!" Seven swam swiftly, and in no time, he reached the waters by the small wooden house next to the wooden bridge.
"This time, let's see if you can escape from my grasp!" Seven stared at his target, who was undressing. He knew the opportunity had come. Doing a little trick with scissors was a piece of cake for Seven, the barber!
But before Seven could make a move, a huge black shadow already loomed over his head.
"Oh no!" Seven watched helplessly as a narwhal, with its gaping maw, swallowed him whole.
He Dachun, who was on patrol, vaguely heard Seven's faint cries for help. He spun around abruptly, only to see a ripple on the water's surface, with nothing else remaining.
Deep beneath the sea, the narwhal felt a churning in its stomach. After a burp, Seven actually pried open the narwhal's mouth and crawled out.
The narwhal looked at the fellow who had crawled out of its mouth, and the entire whale felt unwell.
Seven gave the narwhal an annoyed glare, then landed a few punches on it. The narwhal, with a large bump on its head, slowly swam away with a mournful face.
At this point, Seven swam directly out of the sea and climbed onto the wooden bridge.
"Hehehe! Who told you to wander around by the sea? This isn't my fault, you know!" Seven took out his scissors and twirled them in his hand, but unexpectedly, a wave crashed over, knocking the scissors away.
"Where are my scissors?" Seven looked at his empty hands, then looked again, and there was still nothing in his palms.
Just as Seven was pondering, He Dachun walked over.
Seven looked up at He Dachun in a daze.
"Hi! I came here to swim!"
"Do you sell swim trunks here?"
Seven tried to find a reasonable explanation for his awkward situation.
But He Dachun, without a word, grabbed Seven's hair and pulled him out of the sea.
"OW!! IT HURTS SO MUCH, I CAN GET UP MYSELF, DON'T PULL, DON'T PULL!!" Seven yelled at the top of his lungs.
Seven grumbled at He Dachun, his hands continuously flailing in the air.
"Mind your own business! Pentagon Head!" Seven directly spat out a threat.
"My name is He Dachun, and I'm a part-time bodyguard!"
"Ranked 1,735th on the bodyguard leaderboard!"
"Graduated from Jishu Bodyguard Vocational College, specializing in Indestructible Virgin!"
"Currently, the deputy captain of the Changgang Street Security Team!"
"ID number 9527!"
He Dachun looked at Seven with a serious expression, introducing himself voluminously.
"I absolutely cannot lose to him in terms of aura!" Seven was startled by He Dachun's long string of self-introductions!
"My name is Seven! Assassin ranked 12,324th!"
"Currently a senior stylist at Hair Salon!"
"Wash, cut, and blow-dry fifteen yuan, just a cut ten yuan, three people come together, one person free!"
Seven's words made He Dachun feel that this person had quite a presence!
"Amazing!"
"You're an assassin. Why do you casually tell others your background?"
He Dachun stared wide-eyed, looking blankly at Seven.
Seven broke out in a cold sweat upon hearing this.
"Oh, right, assassins and bodyguards are different." Seven's eyelids twitched incessantly as he just realized.
"Never mind! I'll deal with you, this Pentagon Head bodyguard, first!"
Thinking this, Seven, in a fit of anger, decided to strike first.
"Fatal Seven Scissor Forms—!" As Seven struck a cool pose,
The scissors, swept away by the waves, broke through the water and flew back into his hand.
"Leaving you completely defenseless!"
Seven chuckled maliciously, manipulating the scissors to fly straight towards He Dachun.
He Dachun stared wide-eyed as the golden-glowing scissors whizzed towards him.
But just then, a giant narwhal leaped out of the sea, casting a flirtatious glance at Seven with its watery big eyes.
Without a word, the narwhal swallowed Seven's scissors whole, then plunged back into the sea with a whoosh. A wave crashed over Seven, drenching him like a drowned rat.
"Hey, got a towel?" Seven, soaking wet, asked He Dachun awkwardly.
He Dachun didn't answer; he just quietly pulled out a pistol and chambered a round with a click.
"You've made your move, now it's my turn!" He Dachun looked at Seven with a serious expression.
Seven froze when he saw the pistol in He Dachun's hand.
"Why do you have a gun?!" Seven's eyes nearly popped out, looking at He Dachun in disbelief.
"Isn't it normal for bodyguards to carry guns?" He Dachun said calmly, slowly aiming the pistol at Seven.
"Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Don't point that gun at me!" Seven, seeing the dark muzzle, recoiled repeatedly....
"Can't hit! Can't hit!" Seven dodged left and right, crouching and leaning back, sparring with the air.
"Hehehe, I dodge, I dodge, I dodge, dodge!" Seven's upper body spun like a small whirlwind, quickly devising a countermeasure in his mind.
"HOW ABOUT A TRUE MAN'S DUEL?!!" Seven's demeanor suddenly changed, as if a black-and-white film tough guy appeared before his eyes, shouting at He Dachun.
He Dachun's mind lit up when he heard this.
"True man?" he muttered to himself.
"Hollywood-style duel!" Seven continued, "Just like in Hollywood movies! A bitter fight between two tough guys, where it's one punch from you, one kick from me, I hit you, you hit me back! Whoever falls first loses!"
He Dachun heard this and immediately put down his pistol.
"Alright! Bring it on!" Seven wiped the cold sweat from his forehead when he heard He Dachun agree.
"My life is saved for now!" Seven thought with lingering fear. 』
『 .....』
〜Dimensional livestream, Chat Room〜
[ Dai Bo (Scissor Seven): "Oh, what a truly embarrassing assassin, Ah Qi." ]
[ Saiki Kusuo (The Disastrous Life of Saiki K): "It is a bit embarrassing." ]
[ Seven (Scissor Seven): "No way, this guy is actually that strong." ]
[ He Dachun (Scissor Seven): "I am a professional bodyguard, um, that's right." ]
[ .....]
『 On the beach, Dai Bo was comfortably resting on a beach chair.
Suddenly, a small flying chicken whizzed across the beach.
"Little flying chicken, wait for us!" A group of bikini-clad beauties chased after the little flying chicken, laughing joyfully.
By the wooden bridge,
Seven bent his waist, vigorously waving and calling out to He Dachun.
He Dachun, unhurriedly, took off his outer garment,
As his eight solid abs came into view,
Seven, not to be outdone, lifted his own shirt.
After his abs were revealed, he repeatedly compared He Dachun's stomach to his own.
"Oh! The tiger's stance!" Seven immediately adopted a low, crouching posture.
He Dachun, hearing Seven's words, also energetically displayed various fitness poses. Seven, looking at He Dachun's massive, strong muscle groups, couldn't help but sweat profusely.
"Crane! The crane's form!" Seven stood precariously on one leg, adopting the stance of a golden rooster standing on one leg.
"Assault!" Seven suddenly threw a punch at He Dachun!
He Dachun's eyes sharpened, and he immediately stabilized his horse stance.
"Indestructible Art Style, Golden Body Armor!"
In mid-air, Seven's fist landed heavily on He Dachun's chin.
"Ouch~ Did I just hit an iron lump?"
Seven looked at his slightly deformed hand, asking in confusion.
Meanwhile, He Dachun's fist landed squarely on Seven's face.
Two deep imprints clearly appeared beneath Seven's feet.
On the wooden bridge, Seven glared at He Dachun with a furious expression.
"I'm not finished with you, you Pentagon Head flat-top!"
Seven's half-face was swollen as he glared angrily at He Dachun.
Seven threw a punch, landing squarely on He Dachun's face. He Dachun, not to be outdone, returned a punch.
On that wooden bridge, He Dachun adopted Seven's suggestion, and the two, like in a movie, exchanged punches, confronting each other with a sense of ceremony. Seven always struck first, followed by He Dachun's counterattack.
Several hours passed, and He Dachun, panting, gazed at Seven.
"Truly tough!" Seven knelt on one knee on the wooden bridge, looking somewhat disheveled, but let out a few cold laughs.
"In a duel like this, I've only lost to that big, blue, fat chicken!" Seven said, covering his face and laughing.
"He's really tough!"
"First time I've met someone as tough as me!"
"He clearly looks so weak!"
"I must fight him to the very end!"
He Dachun looked at Seven opposite him, thinking this to himself.
At this moment, Seven and He Dachun were in a stalemate, as the sun rose and set, and time flowed on.
After several cycles of the moon waxing and waning,
Seven's target quietly approached He Dachun.
"Let's go, Mr. Bodyguard!" A short, fat man said, then flashed past between Seven and He Dachun.
"If I don't act now, I'll lose the chance!" Seven thought to himself, watching his target gradually move away.
"Oh no! There's a beautiful woman over there! And she's not wearing any clothes!" Seven suddenly pointed into the distance, but He Dachun remained unmoved.
"Huh? There's a thief!" Seeing that his trick failed, Seven immediately changed his strategy. Sure enough, He Dachun fell for it instantly. In the moment he turned his head,
Seven quickly turned and pounced on his target! 』
『 .....』
〜Dimensional livestream, Chat Room〜
[ He Dachun (Scissor Seven): "Good heavens, you actually launched a sneak attack!" ]
[ Bang (One Punch Man): "It's too much, young man, no martial ethics." ]
[ Xingqiu (Genshin Impact): "This is not like a true practitioner." ]
[ Seven (Scissor Seven): "Who cares, I'm an assassin, what do these things have to do with me?" ]
[ Umaru Doma (Himouto): "..." ]
[ Conan Edogawa (Detective Conan): "..." ]
[ Seven (Scissor Seven): "What's wrong? Do you have any problems?" ]
[ Dai Bo (Scissor Seven): "Because you're too embarrassing, everyone forgot you're an assassin, right?" ]
[ Seven (Scissor Seven): "..." ]
[ .....]