Thinking too hard is actually the hardest workout I've ever done. Forget push-ups or sit-ups—give me a math equation about the Abyss or whatever, and I'm KO'd in five minutes. So there I was, sprawled out on the sandy beach just outside the teapot mansion, letting the sea breeze slap me in the face like nature's personal fan service.
"Man… this is nice," I muttered, closing my eyes for a second. Peace. Actual peace. No Abyss, no chaos, no Greg silently judging me from his throne of smug lizard silence. Just me and the beach.
Then I opened my eyes again.
Nilou's smiling face was right there.
My soul left my body on the spot. "Oh God… did I die?"
Nilou chuckled, her hands folded in front of her like some divine apparition. "You're silly. Come, lunch is ready."
I gasped like someone who had just seen heaven's gates. "Goddess, don't scare me like that! I thought I really died again—I saw an angel."
She laughed again and helped me up. "You're such a tease."
But I just gave her the Dead Serious Look. My eyes said it all: I was not joking. That caught her off guard—her smile softened and she went, "Oh…"
Before I could dig myself deeper into accidental romance hell, Lumine appeared carrying a basket, with Paimon flying beside her and Greg crawling loyally behind like a tiny green bodyguard.
"You two!" Lumine called out. "Let's just eat here!"
Nilou gasped, clapping her hands together. "Oh my! I like the idea! A picnic at the seaside!"
Paimon pumped her tiny fist. "Paimon approves! Food tastes better with the sea breeze!"
I pointed at her like a prophet. "Finally! Someone gets it!"
Greg tilted his head sideways and flicked his tail in judgment. Translation: You're all idiots.
And just like that, boom—beach picnic unlocked.
They spread out a blanket, laid down all the food Nilou and Lumine had cooked, and I… well, I stared at a random coconut tree like it had just challenged me to a duel.
"Alright," I declared, pointing at it with dramatic flair. "Time for some well-deserved rest and relaxation!"
Nilou tilted her head. "That… means climbing a tree?"
Lumine sighed, already setting down the plates. "Of course it does. This is Shigeru we're talking about."
Paimon smirked, floating down beside the basket. "Bet you fall in the first ten seconds."
I narrowed my eyes. "Paimon, have a little faith."
Greg flicked his tongue at me like negative faith acquired.
Attempt one: I slipped halfway up and ate sand. Attempt two: I almost made it, then my grip betrayed me and I hugged the tree all the way down. Attempt three: let's not talk about attempt three. But attempt four—ah, sweet, stupid glory—I somehow got up there, ripped off five coconuts like I was conquering a boss fight, and climbed back down victorious.
I presented the loot to the girls with both hands. "Refreshments, everyone!"
Nilou's eyes lit up. "Thank you, Shigeru! You worked hard for those."
I puffed out my chest. "See? Dedication, persistence, and several faceplants pay off."
Lumine smiled, shaking her head. "Thanks, dummy."
Paimon was already halfway through cracking one open. "Finally, something useful came out of you!"
Greg, meanwhile, poked one of the coconuts with his tiny claw, then turned his back on it like it wasn't worthy of him. Absolute betrayal.
"Et tu, Greg?" I whispered dramatically. He blinked slowly. Cold-blooded both literally and emotionally.
Ah yes, the duality of woman. And lizard.
We all dug in, and for a while it was just laughter, food, and the sound of the sea. Nilou asked about seasoning, Lumine explained a dish, Paimon stuffed her face while making commentary like a food critic, and I gave an inspirational speech about why coconuts were basically the divine snack of champions. Nobody agreed with me. Tragic.
Nilou tilted her head toward the waves. "The sea looks nice to swim in, don't you think?"
Lumine glanced at the horizon, then back at her. "It does. The water looks clear today. Calm, too."
Paimon perked up, already imagining it. "Paimon thinks so too! Plus, it'll help burn off all this food!"
I scratched my chin like a philosopher. "Hmmm… want to swim or something?"
Nilou's smile widened into full-on sunshine. "Let's do it! Lumine, Paimon, let's change!"
Before I could say a single word, she grabbed both of them by the arms and bolted straight back toward the mansion, giggling all the way.
I blinked at the dust trail they left behind. "Girls and their sudden outbursts of energy…"
I turned to Greg, who was just sitting there like a stoic rock with scales. We locked eyes for two long, serious seconds.
We both nodded.
Yes. Girls are indeed from another breed.
Then Greg slowly crawled on top of a coconut and sat on it like some kind of smug emperor. He gave me one long blink, almost like he was saying know your place, human. I swear that lizard lives just to flex on me.
I sighed, sprawling back on the sand. "This is my life now. Outshined by a reptile."
Greg flicked his tail. Affirmative.
Well, they were taking their sweet time changing, so I figured I might as well do the same. Can't let the ladies outshine me on a beach day, right?
I glanced at Greg. "What do you think, buddy? Time to suit up?"
Greg blinked at me slowly, the way lizards do when they're silently calling you an idiot. Then he flicked his tongue once, like punctuation for pathetic.
"Don't give me that look. You think you're above fashion? Newsflash: you're getting trunks too."
Greg tilted his head, clearly debating whether to bite me or not. In the end, he sighed (yes, my lizard sighed) and followed as I dragged a bunch of coconut leaves over to a tree, crafting the world's worst makeshift changing room.
A few minutes later, I emerged like some kind of fashion disaster survivor—sporting swimming trunks that screamed, I have no shame. And yes, don't ask me how, but Greg had his own tiny pair of trunks too. Blue stripes. Tail hole included. I don't make the rules of this universe, I just suffer under them.
"Behold!" I shouted, striking a dramatic pose. "Man and lizard, ready for action!"
Greg immediately turned his back to me and started digging in the sand like he couldn't be associated with this mess.
"Wow, you guys took a while." Nilou's cheerful voice drifted from behind me. "But… cute."
I froze, turned—and instantly wished I hadn't.
Nilou. Lumine. Even Paimon.
All in swimsuits.
My brain blue-screened. My body collapsed. End of story.
"Shigeru?!" Nilou gasped, leaning over me with concern. "Oh no, did he faint?"
Paimon poked my cheek like she was testing if I was ripe. "He short-circuited. Again."
Lumine sighed, setting her hands on her hips. "Pathetic."
When I came back to life, I found myself lying in the sand, Greg perched against the coconut tree, giving me the most judgmental reptile stare of all time. Like, really, you pathetic excuse of a human? I groaned, sitting up.
Out at the water's edge, Lumine, Nilou, and Paimon were already playing in the waves. Lumine in her elegant white swimsuit with gold accents—radiant, regal, like she'd been summoned from the heavens to remind mortals of their mediocrity. Nilou in a flowing blue swimsuit, ribbons dancing around her like she was born from the ocean itself. And Paimon in the most aggressively adorable frilly one-piece, splashing like a tiny gremlin on holiday.
"What a sight for sore eyes…" I muttered, quickly wiping at the blood trickling from my nose. Damn anime tropes. Even my body was in on the bit.
For a second, I wondered, wait… is this one of those anime beach episodes that's just here for fan service? If so, then congratulations, universe—you've officially turned my life into filler content.
Greg flicked his tongue at me, like he was mocking me for being predictable.
I slapped my cheeks. "Alright. Time to make myself look cool and regret it later."
Greg tilted his head again, his expression basically saying, Ah yes, another episode of Shigeru Ruins His Life.
So what did I do? I dragged out my massive claymore and decided it was a good idea to use it as a surfboard. Because apparently, my brain is permanently stuck on bad life choices: deluxe edition.
I marched to the water like I was about to conquer the sea itself. "Behold, mortals! I shall tame the ocean with steel!"
Nilou clapped her hands, eyes sparkling. "Wow, that looks cool!"
Lumine facepalmed so hard I heard it echo across the shore. "You absolute idiot…"
Paimon flailed in the air, panicked. "Wait, wait, wait! That's not safe!"
Greg tilted his head, tail flicking, as if saying, This is how natural selection works.
But did I listen? Of course not. I threw the claymore onto the waves, hopped on top, and to my surprise—actually managed to glide along the water. For a few glorious moments, I looked like the coolest protagonist alive. Wind in my hair, balance perfect, heart screaming hell yeah! Nilou even cheered.
"Go, Shigeru!" Nilou's voice rang out. "You're amazing!"
I puffed up with pride. "Of course I am! Witness my greatness!"
Lumine muttered, "He's going to die in five seconds…"
And then, confidence hit me like a boss crit. I tried a trick. Instant karma. The claymore flipped, physics betrayed me, and I plunged headfirst into the sea like a sack of regrets.
"Paimon told you so!" Paimon squeaked, pointing at the water where I disappeared.
Lumine sighed, hands on her hips. "Unbelievable."
Nilou clasped her hands together, torn between laughing and worrying. "Is he… okay?"
Greg waddled to the shoreline, stared at the bubbles surfacing, and gave the tiniest shrug. Probably not.
When I stumbled back to shore, coughing up half the ocean, I collapsed onto the sand. "That was scary… a fish almost bit something it should never bite."
Nilou gasped, covering her mouth. "Oh no!"
Lumine smacked my arm. "Idiot."
Paimon crossed her arms, hovering over me. "See? Paimon's always right!"
Greg climbed onto my chest like a smug little king, flicking his tongue in victory.
I exhaled, staring up at the sky. "Now this… this is peace."
Nilou sat down beside me, her smile soft. "Even if you almost drowned, huh?"
"Especially then," I muttered. "Nothing like facing death to make the sun feel warmer."
Lumine shook her head, but I swear I saw the tiniest smirk on her lips. Paimon groaned something about babysitting. Greg flicked sand at my face.
And for one blissful moment, it felt like time itself decided to give me a break.
***
Beach days in a teapot mansion hit different. Don't ask me how or why the teapot can generate an actual coastline, complete with waves, seagulls, and palm trees that probably shouldn't exist inside a pocket dimension. I don't question it anymore. I just roll with it. Though sometimes I wonder if one day I'll wake up and find a whole amusement park tucked in the back somewhere. Wouldn't surprise me.
So there we were, continuing the legendary chaos of Teapot Beach Episode™. Volleyball appeared out of nowhere—seriously, who put a regulation beach ball in the storage room? Was it Tubby? Does Tubby have a secret sports hobby? These are the questions that keep me awake at night. I swear if I catch Tubby practicing beach serves at 2 a.m., I'll never recover.
Anyway, the game started. Lumine and Nilou versus me and Paimon. I had confidence. I mean, look at me: tall, strong, flexible (kind of), and experienced in the art of chaos. Then Paimon missed literally every ball that came her way. Every. Single. One.
"Paimon, what are you doing?" I cried after diving face-first into the sand for the fourth time.
Paimon puffed her cheeks. "This is harder than it looks!"
Nilou giggled as she spiked another ball past me. "We're winning, Lumine!"
Lumine smirked, her hair shining like some volleyball goddess. "We always were."
I fell to my knees. "Et tu, Paimon?!"
Greg flicked his tail from the sidelines like a referee who had already given up hope. He then licked his eyeball, because apparently referees can't be bothered with dignity.
By the time we called it quits, I was 80% sand, 10% tears, and 10% coconut water. Which only got worse when they buried me in the sand "for fun."
Fun? FUN!? They forgot about me for almost an hour. AN HOUR. I was one seagull away from becoming an actual landmark. Meanwhile, the three of them were munching snacks, laughing, swimming, living their best lives, and Greg was just… perched on my sandy stomach like some smug lizard king.
"Don't look so comfortable up there," I muttered weakly.
Greg blinked slowly and dug his claws in deeper. Translation: peasant, you are my throne now.
Nilou finally glanced back. "Should we… maybe dig him up now?"
Lumine pretended to think. "Hm. Ten more minutes won't hurt."
"Ten more minutes?!" I cried. Sand filled my mouth. "I'm already writing my will!"
When they finally dug me out, I saw the light of the sun again like some ancient relic being unearthed. "So this… is freedom," I croaked.
Nilou giggled, brushing sand off my face. "Sorry, Shigeru. We didn't mean to leave you that long."
Lumine covered her mouth to hide her smirk. "Didn't we?"
Paimon snorted, pointing at me. "Paimon thinks you look better as a sand sculpture anyway!"
Greg nodded, as if agreeing with her insult. Betrayal truly knows no species.
Fast-forward to evening. Teapot sky still said daytime, but we built a bonfire anyway because what's a beach day without roasted fish and vibes? The flames crackled, painting everyone's faces with warm gold.
Nilou leaned back, smiling softly. "Sometimes, things like this are a bit nice, isn't it? Resting from adventuring and all the messy stuff in the outside world."
Lumine nodded. "It really is. We should do this more often."
Paimon floated closer to the fire. "Paimon agrees. Food tastes better by the sea! Even fake sea!"
Greg sat dangerously close to the fire, like he was trying to absorb its power. His shadow stretched behind him like some tiny dragon lord. If he starts breathing fire, I'm moving out.
But me? I was staring across the horizon. Not at the fire. Not at the waves. Just… out there. A faint smile stuck on my face without me realizing.
Lumine noticed. Her voice cut through the quiet. "Shigeru, are you okay?"
I blinked, shook my head lightly, then smiled at her. "Yeah, of course I am."
Paimon gasped dramatically. "Wow, he's not making a joke out of it. What happened to him?"
I chuckled, scratching the back of my neck. "Nothing really. I was just… thinking a bit."
That caught their attention. All eyes were on me now. Even Greg turned his little head like he cared.
I sighed, staring back at the fire this time. "I've been thinking about our future adventures. We'll face more challenges—maybe scarier than the ones we've already dealt with. I'm trying to figure things out, prepare as much as possible… to keep everyone safe."
I laughed nervously, rubbing my neck again. "Since, well… you're my family now. And I want us to always be together."
Nilou tilted her head, her eyes soft. "Shigeru…"
Lumine leaned closer, her voice calm. "You don't have to carry that alone, you know. We'll always fight together."
That silenced even Paimon for a second. Which is saying something.
She whispered, "He's… oddly serious right now."
Nilou's voice trembled a little. "I feel the same. You all are like my safe place. Even here, in a teapot of all places, it feels like home."
But Lumine didn't say anything at first. She just stood, walked over, and hugged me gently. Her warmth seeped into me like another kind of fire.
"Of course we'll stay together," she murmured. "That's our promise, isn't it?"
My chest tightened, but I smiled, hugging her back. "Yes… yes, it was."
Nilou sniffled, wiping a single tear from her eye before joining in and wrapping her arms around both of us. "I'm glad… really glad."
"Hey! Paimon too!" she squeaked, squeezing in between us like the gremlin mascot she is.
Even Greg crawled up onto my head, perching like a crown. His tongue flicked once, like sealing the pact. Then he sneezed—directly on me. Touching moment ruined, thanks Greg.
I chuckled, holding them all close, and looked up at the fake teapot sky that felt more real than anything else. The stars weren't programmed there, but in my head, I saw them anyway. For once, my thoughts weren't jokes, weren't fears—they were hopes.
Together till the end, huh? I thought. That would be nice.
_____________
End of Chapter 139
Quests Completed:
*Share food, laughter, and random coconut lore with your found family by the shore.
*Acquire coconuts the hard way. By falling multiple times and sacrificing dignity.
*Witness the swimsuit forms of Nilou, Lumine, and Paimon. Attempt survival.
*Attempt to ride the waves on a claymore. Impress no one (Well, maybe Nilou.) Almost die.
*Get buried in the sand by your companions. Forgotten for way too long.
*Share fears, hopes, and family warmth by the fire. Seal it with hugs (and Greg sneeze).
Rewards:
*+5 Coconut Gathering EXP (includes faceplants)
*+1 Mental Image of Nilou in a Swimsuit (cannot be deleted)
*+1 Temporary Coolness Buff (from claymore surfing, expired instantly)
*+1 Greg Trunk Accessory (tiny striped swimwear, lizard-sized)
*+10 Sand Trauma Points (buried alive, forgotten for an hour)
*+3 Volleyball Loss Streaks (Paimon was useless, again)
*+100 Family Bond Points (earned during bonfire hugs)
*+1 "Accidental Anime Nosebleed" Status Ailment
*+500 Happiness EXP (from picnic, swimming, bonfire)
*+1 New Pact: "Together Till the End" (Party Promise Buff)
Achievement Unlocked:
"Anime Beach Episode Certified"
-Congratulations! You survived a full-blown filler-style beach episode complete with swimsuits, volleyball, nosebleeds, bonfire hugs, and one reptile king.