We had two whole days to kill. Two. Entire. Days. My soul shriveled just thinking about it.
So, of course, I pitched the greatest idea in history. "Since we have nothing else to do, should we go back to the teapot?"
Everyone agreed. Just like that. Boom. Inside the teapot. Again.
And with nothing else to do.
I slumped onto the sofa like a man struck down by life itself. "Ugh… boredom is killing me."
Lumine deadpanned at me from across the room. "We literally took a break for no more than an hour. Please control yourself."
"I can't. My body is 90% impatience." I rolled onto my side dramatically, which Greg did not appreciate since he had been perched on my stomach. He hissed and scuttled off to his usual throne near the fireplace like he owned the place. Which, let's be real, he kind of did.
Nilou chuckled, that soft little laugh that could melt glaciers. "I'll go to the kitchen and make something. Cooking passes the time."
"I'll help!" Paimon shot up immediately, probably motivated by the words make something more than cooking.
"I'll come too," Lumine said, standing with her usual calm poise. And just like that, I was abandoned. Nilou, Lumine, and Paimon all disappeared into the kitchen, leaving me alone with Greg and the crushing weight of boredom.
I rolled over the sofa again. And again. Until gravity betrayed me and I fell off with a loud thud. Face-first.
Lying there, half-broken on the floor, I noticed the scenery outside the teapot window. A stretch of sea shimmered under the sky, with mountains piercing the horizon far away—places I could never reach.
I sat up, brushing dust off my clothes. "Guess I'll go out for a bit," I muttered to no one in particular.
Walking to the boundary of the realm, I found a fallen log facing the sea. I sat down, picked up a pebble, and tossed it across the water. Ripples spread like tiny echoes of my thoughts.
"It's been a while since I got isekai'd here, huh?" I said softly, more to the waves than to anyone else. "A lot of things happened. Some I predicted… others, not at all."
Another pebble skipped once, then sank. "Till now, I don't even know if I'm doubting myself or not."
I leaned forward, elbows on my knees. "I said I'd protect this world. I already set up plans, used what knowledge I had. That contract with Morax, Barbatos, Ayato… all to save Teyvat and whatever lies beyond. To try and stop the Abyss."
The next pebble slipped from my fingers and fell straight into the water with a dull plop. "I know I've gotten stronger. But being strong… isn't enough, is it?"
I stared up at the sky, clouds drifting without a care. "Can I really do this? Or am I just being too full of myself?"
I let out a short laugh, humorless and tired. "In the end, I still have doubts. I guess… the me inside hasn't changed. I'm still Allen. The idiot who hides behind a facade of stupidity, just to keep from being left behind."
Another pebble flew, another ripple vanished into nothing.
"Just how much can I change in this world? How much can I really accomplish? Protecting my friends, my comrades… Paimon, Greg… especially Nilou and Lumine. How do I push past my limits with only this finite knowledge I carried here?"
I dug my hand into the dirt and clenched a fistful of earth. "Is the me that laughs and jokes just a mask? Or… is that the only way I know how to survive in a world like this? Keep smiling so no one sees the cracks?"
I sighed, then laughed at myself. "Listen to me. Talking like I'm some philosopher. I'm not. I'm just… scared. Scared of messing up. Scared of being useless. Scared of being left behind again. Maybe that's why I can't stop joking around. If I'm laughing, no one notices when I'm actually breaking inside."
For a long time, I stayed silent, listening to the wind and waves. And then, like a fool who couldn't stop himself, I started listing new goals in my head.
Don't just protect them. Make them smile every day.
Become someone worthy of standing beside them, not just someone who hides behind jokes.
Learn to accept that I can fail—and still try again.
Find a way to face my own fear of being forgotten.
Stop pretending I'm fine when I'm not.
I pulled out my phone. The cracked screen lit up with the old notes I wrote when I first got here:
Meet Ayato (Top Priority)
Marry Nilou (2nd Top Priority)
Handshake with Furina (Top on the List)
Get Constellations (If I Have Mora and Primo)
Survive (Probably)
See The End Game (If I don't Die Early)
Say Shut up Paimon (Definitely Would)
Get Crushed by Wriothesley's cake (Optional)
I laughed, shaking my head. "I'm such an idiot. A complete idiot. But maybe that's what kept me moving. Having dumb goals to cover up the real ones."
Deleting the list, I typed something new:
Protect Nilou, Lumine, Paimon, and Greg at any cost.
Save Teyvat.
Change the fate of those who deserve to be saved.
Learn to forgive myself.
Find the courage to stand tall without a mask.
My thumb hovered for a moment, then I added one last line:
And stop doubting myself.
I chuckled weakly. "Yeah, easier said than done. But… if I don't at least try, then who am I even living for?"
I tilted my head back, staring into the endless sky. "Hey, Yana… you're watching, right? Then see how I live my life to the fullest from now on. Just like I promised. I'll laugh, I'll fight, I'll stumble, but I'll never stop. Not until the very end."
My voice cracked, and I rubbed at my eyes with the heel of my hand. "I wish you were here. To tell me I'm not crazy. To tell me that… I'm enough. But you're not. So I'll just have to keep saying it until I believe it myself."
I pressed a hand to my chest. "Yana, I'll make you proud. I'll make myself proud. No matter how many times I fall, I'll get up. That's my promise to you. That's my promise to me."
The wind carried my words away, scattering them across the waves. Maybe that was enough—just to say it out loud. Just to keep going.
I let out a laugh, soft and almost shaky. "Now that's a nice breather… managed to let it all go at once."
My chest felt lighter, but the horizon staring back at me wasn't forgiving. The sea stretched endlessly, mocking me with its silence. I scratched the back of my neck, phone in hand, and muttered, "I guess if I'm going to do this, I better properly do it this time. No half-assed stuff, Shigeru."
I flicked open my notes app again, the blue glow of the screen painting my face. My thumb hovered for a second, then I hit create new note.
"Alright," I whispered, half to the phone, half to myself. "Better write down the sequence of what's about to happen before I forget and make myself look even dumber than usual."
I tapped the side of the phone like I was psyching myself up for an exam. "Come on, genius brain, don't fail me now. This is your time to shine. Or at least… not get us all killed. Minimum standard."
My reflection on the screen gave me this deadpan look, like even past-me was tired of my antics. "Great. I'm already losing arguments with myself."
I typed the first word. Sumeru. The cursor blinked after it like it was waiting to roast me if I stopped.
"Already in progress. No problem. Except… well, there's always a problem. But still, progress. That's rare enough to count as a win in my book."
Next line. Fontaine. Just typing it made my stomach twist like I ate raw slime jelly. "Okay, Fontaine," I said, narrating my misery.
"There's the disappearance of the Fontainian people in the early stages. Creepy as hell. I need to arrest that man immediately…" I paused, thumb hovering.
"And tell Neuvillette about the prophecy. Yeah. Gotta do that." I rubbed my temple. "Hope he doesn't yeet me out of the Court for being suspiciously well-informed."
My jaw clenched on the next part. "I hate to admit it, but… Focalor's death might be unavoidable." My fist thumped lightly against my phone case.
"Damn it. My Focallete ship just sank before it even set sail." I groaned dramatically. "Whole fleets have lasted longer than my ship did. Rest in peace, hypothetical fan art."
I slumped back on the log. The wood creaked like it was complaining about my weight. "But Furina… she's been carrying that burden for way too long. If I can't take it away from her, I'll at least lighten it. That's one promise I'll actually keep."
Connections. I needed them. "Ayato, I'm counting on you. You and Chiori better not screw this up. Make a proper agreement, please. Don't leave me hanging." I shook my head at my own voice. "Look at me, yelling at imaginary businessmen. If seagulls show up, I'm doomed."
Natlan. Just typing the word made me groan louder. "Damn, this is tough. Abyss invasion. Serious business. I have to find a way to save as many lives as possible." I rubbed the heel of my hand against my eyes.
"Plans held together with duct tape and prayers. My specialty."
Then Capitano. Just thinking about him made me pause. "Man, I really want to save him. Yeah, sure, ulterior motives. I ship him with Mavuika. Don't judge me. Imagine a kid between a survivor of Khaenri'ah and the Pyro Archon. That's not just a baby—that's a walking nuke. A powerhouse with baby teeth."
I chuckled at myself, then exhaled, long and tired. "But… if his eternal slumber is unavoidable, I need to think of something. Because when Tsaritsa takes on Celestia, I'll need every ally I can get. Even the sleeping ones."
I typed slower now. "According to the leaks from those random YouTubers back on Earth… the next region is Nod Krai. That's where Varka is."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "And of course, I died before the endgame of Genshin. Perfect. Just perfect. I'm flying blind here."
A dry laugh escaped, humorless and shaky. "Shit. I really am in a messed-up situation." I let the sound hang in the air until even the ocean seemed bored of me.
I stared at the half-finished note. My reflection in the screen looked tired. Beat-up. But still stubborn enough to keep typing.
"At least for now," I whispered, saving the note, "I need to prepare."
My thumb lingered on the save button longer than it needed to. Like I was waiting for Yana to pop out of the screen and tell me I wasn't completely useless. She didn't, of course. Phones don't work like that. But still, I could almost hear her voice in the silence. And for a second, that was enough.
__________
End of Chapter 138
Quests Completed:
*Defeat your deadliest enemy: boredom. Results include sofa rolling, Greg abandonment, and minor brain damage.
*Unload fears, doubts, and dreams to the waves. Ocean provides zero feedback, but Greg silently approves. Probably.
*Erase joke goals from early isekai days. Mourn fallen dream of getting flattened by Wriothesley's cake.
*Create a serious goal list: protect everyone, save Teyvat, forgive yourself. Try not to cry. Fail at not crying.
*Speak to the past, swear to the future.
Rewards:
*+1 Existential Pebble Tossing (Improves Aim vs. Water, useless elsewhere)
*+1 Emotional Dump Buff (Temporary relief, cooldown: unknown)
*+1 Deleted Dumb Goal List (RIP Wriothesley's cake dream)
*+1 New Resolve Note (Bound to Phone, Legendary Tier)
*+1 Greg Sympathy Stare (Silent, judgmental support)
*+5 Self-Doubt, converted into +3 Determination
*+1 Yana Memory Trigger (Permanent, cannot be unequipped)
*+1 "Serious Mode" Shigeru (Rare form, quickly fades)
*+1 Plan Draft for Fontaine → Natlan → Nod Krai (Messy but functional)
*+1 Shipwrecked Focallete (Achievement: sunk before sailing)
*+1 Optional Future Baby Nuke Theory (Capitano × Mavuika, danger level: ???)