Alright, so after that chaotic visit from our guests—aka Anubis Cosplayer, Fire Mommy, and Mr. Biceps Scholar—we finally managed to get some peace and quiet. And by peace and quiet, I mean they left, and we were left with the problem of sleeping arrangements.
Yes. Everyone decided to sleep. In my room. Because clearly, the universe thinks I'm a human pillow. Why not just put up a neon sign that says, "Welcome to Shigeru's Bed & Breakfast (No Privacy Included)."
Lumine lay beside me and stretched a little. That kind of satisfied sigh came out of her lips, and she said softly, "That was fun."
Nilou chuckled while fluffing the pillow. "Yes, it really was. I didn't expect everyone to get along so quickly." Her smile warmed the room like a lantern.
I groaned into my pillow. "Didn't expect everyone to still treat my bed like a public inn either."
Greg tilted his head from the nightstand, flicking his tongue like he agreed with me for once. Then he waddled to sit proudly on top of my blanket like a royal seal of approval. Great. Even my lizard thinks I'm a mattress.
Paimon—oh, the floating gremlin—plopped herself right on top of my head like she paid rent. "But it's still cramped in here. Paimon can't stretch her arms!"
I muttered, "Don't mind the small stuff."
Lumine flicked my forehead. "We better buy a bigger bed."
"...Or maybe a second bed," I grumbled, but of course, no one listened.
Nilou giggled, brushing her hair back. "Or… we could just squeeze a little more. I don't mind." She nestled closer to her pillow, her eyes glancing my way for a second longer than normal.
Cue my heart doing push-ups it never trained for.
I whispered to myself, "Oh great, if this keeps up, I'll die from cardiac arrest before I even fight a single Fatui."
Lumine raised a brow. "What was that?"
"Uh—nothing! Just… admiring the ceiling cracks." Smooth save, Shigeru. Real smooth.
Paimon floated upside down. "If you ask Paimon, this room feels more like a sardine can with extra chaos."
Greg flicked his tongue and dramatically flopped onto his back like he agreed with her. Et tu, lizard?
Morning arrived with the gentle light of the teapot sun beaming down on us. I stood up, stretched like the world's most majestic idiot, and announced, "Alright! Time to save the world! And probably cause even more chaos while doing it!"
Nilou giggled behind her hand. "We better tone the chaos down, even for a bit."
Everyone froze. Me. Lumine. Paimon. Even Greg tilted his little lizard head with confusion.
Nilou blinked at our stares, cheeks puffing slightly. "Right… chaos is in your genes. I really am the only normal one here."
"Finally! Someone said it!" Paimon crossed her arms like she'd just solved world hunger. "Paimon has been saying that since day one!"
I squinted. "You're not exactly a shining example of sanity either."
She stuck her tongue out. "At least Paimon doesn't cause mass destruction by accident!"
Lumine stretched her arms and sighed. "You know… she has a point. You do have a habit of breaking everything you touch."
I gasped, pointing at her dramatically. "Et tu, Blondie? Betrayal at sunrise!"
Greg scuttled up to my shoulder and puffed his chest out, like he was saying, 'yeah, you're the chaos incarnate.' Even my lizard betrayed me. Unbelievable.
Nilou covered her mouth with a soft laugh. "I think it's… charming, in a way." Her cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink.
I immediately thought, Charming? Did she just call me charming? Someone write that down, this is historic!
Paimon groaned. "Don't give him an ego boost, Nilou! He'll never shut up about it."
"Too late, gremlin. My inner ego meter was already hitting max level."
So off we went, out of the teapot and back to Aaru Village. My first thought when we arrived: wow, sand. My second thought: wow, more sand. My third thought: Greg looks majestic here, like a king surveying his desert kingdom. He even climbed up on a rock, tail flicking, and nodded like a true monarch.
Paimon floated forward, waving her tiny hands. "Candace! We're here!" Candace turned, calm and composed as always. "Has everyone arrived?" Paimon added.
She gave us a small smile. "Everyone is already waiting inside."
Paimon spun in the air. "Well, what're we waiting for! Let's join them!"
But Candace raised her hand. "Please wait a moment."
Lumine tilted her head. "What's the matter?"
Candace's eyes softened, but her tone was firm. "Before attending the meeting, I hope you can promise me one thing."
Paimon floated closer, curiosity shining. "What do you need?"
"Promise me that you won't commit to anything too reckless."
I snorted. "You mean violence? That's a tough order—"
Smack. Lumine's hand landed on my head before I could finish. "Don't encourage her to worry even more."
I rubbed the spot. "What? I was just being honest!"
Greg flicked his tongue and slapped his tail against my neck, like he was agreeing with Lumine. Traitor number three.
Candace gave me a very motherly look. "I only ask because reckless choices can hurt not only you, but the ones who rely on you."
Nilou nodded politely, her voice soft. "We'll do our best. We promise."
Paimon turned to Lumine. "Hmm… what do you think?"
Lumine exhaled, giving me the behave yourself or else glare. "Sure. We'll try not to."
Candace hesitated, then finally smiled. "Okay… they're all waiting for you."
I pointed ahead dramatically. "Alright! Time to meet the gang and save the cute little radish!"
Greg puffed his chest out proudly from my shoulder, flicking his tail like he was ready for battle.
Paimon groaned. "Why do you make it sound like we're about to raid a vegetable farm?"
Nilou laughed softly, her voice melodic. "Well… it does sound like that, doesn't it?"
Lumine muttered under her breath, "With him, everything sounds like that."
And me? I just grinned. Because she was absolutely right.
So I opened the door like a man who owned the room, which I definitely didn't. I swung it wide and threw my arms up.
"Waddup guys! Ready to save the world—or destroy it in the process?"
...Nothing. Absolute silence. The kind of silence where you start wondering if you just walked in on a funeral. I froze. One second. Two. Three. Four. Five. Yes, five full seconds of me standing there like a complete idiot while everyone stared.
I cleared my throat dramatically. "Tough crowd. I'll take that as a maybe."
Nilou tilted her head slightly, her soft voice cutting the silence. "You really know how to make an entrance."
"Exactly! I'm like a stage actor," I said proudly. "Except the stage is sand, and the audience is very judgmental."
Paimon floated forward, hands on her tiny hips, her voice squeaky with confusion. "Everyone's here so early! But why isn't anybody talking?"
Alhaitham didn't even look up from his notes. "We already discussed things a bit." His tone carried the kind of smugness only a man with too many brain cells could wield.
"Ah, so you had a secret meeting without me," I said. "That's fine. I'll just sit in the corner with my emotional support lizard." I scooped Greg up dramatically, who blinked once and licked his eyeball. Not the supportive gesture I wanted.
Greg flicked his tongue, then rested his chin on my hand like, 'get over it.' Even my lizard was passive-aggressive.
Dehya leaned against the wall with her usual cool aura, smirking. "Hey, where've you been? I've missed you guys!" She nodded at Lumine and me.
I gasped. "Just us? What about Paimon? She floats too, you know."
"Hey!" Paimon zipped in front of me, fuming. "Don't erase Paimon from existence!"
"Sorry, sorry," I said. "You're unforgettable. Like a permanent headache I've grown fond of."
Lumine pressed a hand to her face. "Please stop comparing friendship to headaches."
"Too late," I said. "That's canon now."
Cyno's voice cut through the banter, serious and sharp. "Are you ready?"
I slapped my chest with all the confidence of a man who definitely wasn't ready. "Born ready. Or maybe accidentally ready. Either way, I'm radiating readiness."
Nilou giggled softly, covering her mouth. "You always find the strangest ways to describe yourself."
"Strange is just another word for memorable," I said with a grin. "And I plan on being unforgettable."
Greg flicked his tail against my arm like he was reminding me I was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.
Lumine rolled her eyes but smiled faintly. "We can start now."
Alhaitham closed his book with a snap. "Very well."
Then came the part I dreaded: the discussions. Which is basically code for watch Alhaitham lecture until everyone submits to his logic.
The plan was complicated. Too many moving parts. Too many words like "logistics" and "strategy." My brain waved a white flag after the third sentence.
Paimon whispered loudly in my ear. "Are you even listening?"
"Of course," I whispered back. "I memorized every word. We'll use strategy to maximize logistics in the battlefield of… um… sandwiches."
She smacked me on the forehead. "Hopeless!"
Nilou, bless her kind heart, tried to keep me on track. "Shigeru, maybe you could focus on what you'll personally be doing during the plan?"
"Ah yes, my specialty," I said proudly. "Being the bait."
Nilou blinked. "That's not—"
Greg flicked his tail against my arm, hard. Even the lizard disapproved.
"See?" I said. "Greg agrees. I'll be the distraction."
Lumine sighed. "He's not wrong, though. He's good at that."
"See? Validation!" I grinned.
Nilou chuckled softly, covering her mouth. "You really are… unique."
"Unique is just code for chaotic," I said. "I'll take it."
Dehya leaned forward, her voice confident. "I gotta admit, it's bold. Color me impressed."
"Wait, you're impressed?" I asked. "Do I get a sticker? Or like, a certificate of achievement? 'Congratulations, you made one desert warrior nod in approval.'"
Cyno crossed his arms. "It's worth a try." His tone sounded like we were gambling away our souls at a slot machine.
Paimon's tiny hands waved frantically. "Are you sure this is gonna work?"
I gave her a thumbs up. "Nope."
"WHAT?!" she shrieked.
"Relax. That's part of the charm. If we knew it was going to work, it wouldn't be an adventure—it would be a math problem. And I didn't come here to do math."
Greg bobbed his head like he agreed. Or maybe he was just adjusting his body temperature. Either way, I claimed victory.
Alhaitham's patience thinned. He tapped the table. "The point of discussion is to arrive at a solution. Let's cut the small talk and move to the next point."
"Oh no," Paimon muttered, wringing her hands. "You're making Paimon nervous again…"
Nilou gave her a reassuring smile. "It'll be okay. We've faced worse, haven't we?"
Lumine nodded. "And we'll handle this one too. Together."
"Exactly," I said, puffing my chest. "And if it all goes wrong, blame Alhaitham. He's the one with the big words."
Greg slapped his tail on the table like an exclamation point.
"See?" I grinned. "Even Greg seconds that motion."
Dehya smirked. "Guess that makes it official, then."
Lumine pinched the bridge of her nose, whispering, "Why am I even surprised anymore?"
Somehow, through all the chaos—through the debates, the interruptions, the Greg tail-slaps, and my brilliant commentary—we actually left the room with a plan. A real plan. Bold, reckless, and guaranteed to make my life harder.
Which, if you ask me, is the perfect recipe for adventure.
***
So there we were, stepping out after the big meeting. And let me tell you—I was still walking tall, chest puffed, proud as hell about the plan we'd cooked up. If there were awards for self-confidence, I'd be polishing my acceptance speech right there in the sand. Greg sat on my shoulder, flicking his tail like a royal advisor who totally approved of his king's brilliance. Nilou smiled softly beside me, Lumine walked with that focused look she always had, and Paimon floated ahead like the hype-gremlin she was.
We didn't even make it three steps before Candace greeted us. She stood there like a desert guardian, calm but sharp-eyed. "You're finally done."
Before I could flex my storytelling muscles, Dehya stretched her arms, smirked, and said, "I have some other stuff to take care of. Catch you all later!"
I wagged my finger dramatically. "Don't get into trouble, Fire Mommy. If you do, I'll personally ground you. And trust me, I am an expert at grounding people. Just ask Lumine."
Lumine slapped my arm. "You've never grounded me."
"Exactly, because you're still on probation."
Nilou chuckled, covering her mouth politely. Greg blinked slowly, unimpressed. Dehya raised a brow, clearly amused but trying not to show it. "C'mon, don't gimme that face! I know what you're going to say. I'll be careful."
Candace softened a little. "That's what I wanted to hear. Take care."
Dehya smirked at me. "Try not to break anything while I'm gone, Shigeru."
I gasped, placing a hand on my chest. "How dare you assume I'd break something! I'll have you know I… actually, fair enough."
Even Greg slapped his tail like he was seconding her.
Dehya laughed under her breath and waved as she walked off. "See you around."
And then Candace turned her gaze to us. "Well, Shigeru, Nilou, Lumine, and Paimon… judging from your expressions, the meeting must've been quite productive."
I leaned forward with my best mysterious smirk. "Ah, so you can read minds. I knew it. Candace the Clairvoyant!"
Paimon ignored me completely. "You can tell?"
Candace nodded. "I'm not that good at scheming or strategy, but I can sense people's emotions. And based on your reaction, things must have gone quite well."
I puffed up my chest again. "Translation: we're radiating winner energy. Someone put that on a poster."
Lumine muttered under her breath, "More like idiot energy…"
Nilou giggled. "But it's true, you do look happy."
Greg bobbed his head once, which clearly meant, Yes, you look like an idiot, but at least a confident one.
Candace continued, "We'll make our move on the next Jnagarbha Day."
Paimon fidgeted nervously. "Paimon's a little worried… hopefully, nothing will go wrong!"
I snapped my fingers. "Don't worry, Paimon. If anything goes wrong, we'll just blame Alhaitham. Easy fix."
Nilou covered her giggle again, and even Lumine tried not to laugh. "You can't just blame everything on him."
"Yes I can," I countered immediately. "It's called delegation of responsibility."
Greg flicked his tongue and tilted his head like he was seriously considering my logic. My lizard lawyer approves.
Candace's lips curved just a little. "To be honest, I feel the same… but you're already some of the most capable people I know. So, you have my trust."
Paimon's eyes sparkled. "Hoho… Candace gave us a compliment!"
I dramatically staggered back like I'd been shot. "Wait—you complimented us? Does that mean we're officially recognized as functional adults?"
Lumine's hand met my shoulder, pushing me back upright. "Don't get carried away."
"Too late. I'm already carried."
Candace continued, calm as ever. "Your deeds speak for themselves."
Paimon nodded seriously. "Candace, we stayed behind to tell you that although you won't be coming with us, we'll be sure to remember your words."
Candace's expression softened. "I'm very glad to hear that."
I raised my hand like a kid in class. "Question! If we remember your words, do we get a discount on emotional damage later?"
Lumine smacked the back of my head before Candace could answer. "Stop making everything into a coupon."
"Ow. Worth it."
Candace pressed on. "I've said the same thing to everyone here today as I said to you when you arrived: Your safety is the most important thing."
Nilou nodded gently. "Only when we're safe can the plan be successful."
Candace smiled faintly. "So please, take care."
I put my hands on my hips, nodded firmly, and declared, "Don't worry. We'll stay safe. I'll even wear the safety helmet of destiny."
Greg flicked his tail and crawled on top of my head, which honestly made me look like I was already wearing a helmet. Perfect timing, my lizard bro.
"See? Greg agrees."
Nilou laughed softly. "Greg does make it look like you're ready for battle."
Candace gave one last nod. "Thank you… and good luck with everything. I'll be here in the village praying for you."
Paimon puffed up proudly. "And Paimon will be making sure Blondie and the idiot don't screw things up!"
"Excuse me?" I protested. "Greg and I are the backbone of this operation. Right, Greg?"
Greg flicked his tongue, then promptly turned around to face the opposite direction. Traitor.
I grinned anyway, throwing my fist into the air. "Then it's settled! We'll fight, we'll win, and we'll make sure the cute little radish is safe!"
Paimon groaned. "You're still calling her that?"
"Forever," I said proudly. "Some titles are eternal."
Lumine sighed, but I swear there was a smile tugging at her lips. Nilou shook her head, but her eyes sparkled with amusement. And Greg? Greg stayed perched like the glorious lizard crown he was, silently blessing my idiocy.
_______________
End of Chapter 133
Quests Completed:
*Survive a night with Lumine, Nilou, Paimon, and Greg all invading your bed with Zero privacy, maximum cardiac damage. Discovered Nilou thinks your chaos is "charming." Historic moment.
* Pretend your room wasn't cramped while being crushed by your party members.
*Get accused by Paimon, Lumine, and even Greg of being chaos incarnate
* Receive Candace's emotional X-ray scan before the war meeting.
*Reassure Candace of your safety.
*Successfully blame Alhaitham for anything that goes wrong.
*Enter the meeting dramatically, get judged by silence.
Rewards:
*Adventure EXP +8,000
*Mora + 32,000 (Advance budget for all possible damages to property.)
*Companionship EXP: +700 (Lumine, Nilou, Paimon, Greg, Dehya, Cyno, Alhaitham, Candace)
*1 Greg the Safety Helmet of Destiny – Provides zero protection, 100% intimidation.
*+200 Nilou Affection Points (self-reported, unverified)
*+3 Betrayal Stacks (Paimon, Lumine, Greg) – increases dramatic monologues by 20%.
*+1 Candace's Mom Approval – Reduces party recklessness by 0%.
*+999 Blame Tokens – Redeemable against Alhaitham in every crisis.
*+50 Awkward Silence Damage – inflicted when entering meetings dramatically.
*+1 New Weak Spot: Compliments from Redheads & Dancers
*+500 Ego Boost (Temporary) – Shigeru-only buff, fades when Alhaitham sighs.
*+1 Team Bonding Aura – unlocks "family vibes" debuff, raises enemies' confusion.