Iono(Official) @ IonoZone
I LUV my new Porygon, but I CAN'T STAND how they came into existence.
Screw you Worst Kohai BB!!
*Photo of Porygon 80085.*
Replies:
» We finally got a platypus pokemon, I just never expected it would be a porygon.
» Well, it's unfortunate, but it is what it is. Welcome into existence Porygon BOOBS.
» Iono(Official): DOOOOON'T CAAAALL IT THAAAAT!! IT'S PORYGON EIGHT THOUSAND EIGHTY FIVE!!
» Prof_Rowan(official): I already booked my flight to Paldea. I look forward to working with @ IonoZone in studying this magnificent and unprecedented new Porygon branch evolution!!
» Iono(Official): I feel the same Prof Rowan!! Can't wait ta meetcha!! I'm sure you'll shock my audience with your findings!!
» Frisk never gave you a Pokémon did he @ IonoZone? It seems like BB is aiming for your heart by giving you this ultra rare, unique pokemon.
» BB Channel: As I said before, my everything belongs to Hakunon. I would never cheat on her, that is why I am the BEST Kohai.
So if @ IonoZone really wants some fuk, I'm sure the dick wizard will happily provide. ;)
» Iono(Official): Ew. Never in a million years! Especially from someone who earned the nickname "Dick Wizard."
» @ Best-Kohai Why do you call Frisk "Dick Wizard?" What did he do to deserve such a title?
» BB Channel: I could say why, but it would be spoilers. And while I normally wouldn't mind spoiling, it will be much more fun when the truth comes from the horse's mouth.
___ ___ ___
Pokemon League International (official) @ PKMN_INT
*Screenshot of champions Cynthia, Diantha, and Iris challenging Blaine from Kanto in Gudao's twitch chat.*
This online dispute is now official. Blaine vs the Three Champions will be an exhibition match that is hosted on our Twitch channel live. Coming soon.
Replies:
» Lol, I totally forgot this happened during the stream.
» No lie, suggesting Madame Romee shave her was horrible at the moment, it is still not so bad compared to what actually happened to her.
» Poor Blaine was just trying to help, now he's gonna get jumped by two babes and a gremlin.
» Iris (official): Hehe…
» Shame that Gudao and Chaldea only have the Pokémon anime and the video games as a reference point to what Pokémon battles are like. I would pay a lt of money to see their reactions to an actual, real life Pokémon battle.
» @ PKMN_INT You guys say soon, but Gudao's next dive is coming soon too. Will this take place during or after the next singularity?
» Pokemon League International (official): Due to the nature of Gudao's journey, we cannot guarantee that we will showcase this match after the next singularity resolution. There is still a lot of logistics and paperwork that we must complete in preparation to this kind of event.
So please bear with us.
✦✧✦
Simulation Room, Chaldea Security Organization, 2015
Ritsuka POV
"Gah!" Air rushed out of his lungs when his back fell on the padded mat.
He tried to sit up, but was stopped by something sharp touching his neck. Looking up, he saw Chiyome stare blankly at him, knife in hand. Even after all this time, he still could never get used to Chiyome's scary 'killer' stare.
"Dead." Her cold monotone sent a shiver of fear up and down his spine.
Chiyome stood back up and took a few steps back. She narrowed her eyes, "get up. Again."
His aching body followed her orders, and in a second, he was already on his feet. He took a breath, clutched the plastic knife in his hands, and got into the stance Chiyome had been drilling in him the past few weeks.
She didn't give him any time to recover.
By the time he managed to react, she was already in front of him.
When he slashed, she dodged his strike like she was dodging molasses.
The sweet scent of incense was the only warning he got before his foot got caught in Chiyome's heel.
A light shove was enough to have him fall on his back for the hundredth time that day.
He could feel the knife pressed against his neck.
"Dead."
[Dead. ] x 461
[HippityHoppip650: I just got here, what's happening? ]
[BattleMANIAC: Chiyome has been kicking Gudao's butt for the last few hours to prepare him for the upcoming mission. So it's just a normal hangout stream. ]
[NinJanine: It's truly baffling how Mochizuki-Sama even let herself get pulled into Gudao's bed. She could have easily prevented it. ]
[KicksYouIntheFace193:That was because she wanted it to happen. Here, she's actively beating the cockiness out of him for his own good. ]
[NinJanine: Erm… right. ]
Chiyome got up again, and her monotone stare shifted into a proud smile, "your reflexes have improved," she complimented him.
"It doesn't feel that way." It felt like he barely improved at all, though he should have expected that, considering he has only been training for a few weeks.
"That's normal. You are a human, and I am a servant, our difference in power and speed is too great." Chiyome offered him a hand.
She's right. Servants are unfair, and there was no way for a normal human like him to fight them. While he has been trying his best, there's only so much he could do against her.
He took her hand and she gently pulled him up.
"Your role as a Master is to be a commander, to give commands, make decisions, strategize, negotiate, and to be our anchor into the world.
We cannot have you needlessly endanger yourself, but we also cannot allow you to be defenseless should the worst come to pass and everyone is too preoccupied fighting while the enemy targets you. That is why…"
She took the sheathed knife she had around her waist.
"This knife? You shall only use it for emergencies. For survival, not for seeking fights. We will all be very cross with you if you decide to blindly charge at enemies with this. If you ignore my waarnings, I will personally confiscate this away from you. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand, and don't worry, I don't plan to do something that dumb." After the first two singularities, he now knew his limits.
Chiyome stared into his eyes, analyzing him, then, when she was satisfied, she tossed the knife at him.
He caught it without fumbling it.
He unsheathed the knife and was met by a beautiful black blade, his own reflection visible on its shiny surface.
Originally, none of his servants wanted him to have any weapon on him, with the main reason being so that he wouldn't be seen as a target. Some even feared he would get cocky and start picking fights with servants and phantasmals if they gave him something that would hurt those beings.
However, Lord Vlad, Chiyome herself, and surprisingly Siegfried of all people, had convinced the others to give him at least one weapon for self-defense, for precisely the reasons she mentioned.
So what weapon could he use that would work well as a last resort for him?
Black keys were considered, but ultimately the idea was scrapped. Black keys took too much effort to train, and it can take a practitioner well over a decade to master them.
He doesn't have a decade.
So Emiya, Saint Martha, and Da Vinci worked together to create a knife that is no different to a black key itself, but much easier to use.
It has the same conceptual properties as a black key, meaning it is extremely effective against the undead, but they can also affect all spiritual beings.
Which includes servants;However, if he tries to fight against a servant with only this knife, without his servants, he will end up dead. This knife is thus only good for a surprise attack when things go sideways. It's meant for emergencies when he cannot call upon his servants or shadow servants for help, specifically against mundane threats or lower tier magical threats.
Aside from being an emergency weapon, it's also a handy tool he can use to split wood with when he needs to make fire, and filleting game when he is in a place with no civilization for hundreds of square miles.
[GymLeaderErika: Gudao learned the move Cut! Now he can cut small trees that get in his way. ]
[NinJanine: It's a beautiful knife btw. Kinda makes me wish I had one. ]
"Hey kid, how are you feeling after taking that beating?" Cu asked from the bleachers, his chin lazily resting on his hand.
"I could be better."
Cu had also been helping Da Vinci create an upgraded mystic code for him to use. The long sleeved, black military style mystic code he was currently wearing was capable of withstanding a lot more punishment than his old mystic code thanks to Cu's primordial runes engraved onto the material.
Due to the geological location, the likelihood of fighting mundane enemy human soldiers is higher. So naturally, rendering most of their mundane weapons moot by having powerful magical defenses was seen as necessary.
And that's not even including the upgrade to his Gandr curse, as his shots were no different to a small caliber pistol in strength now, and it scared him.
Thankfully Da Vinci made it so he can set it to stun, that way, he won't have to kill anyone.
[KicksYouIntheFace193 donated 100 bits]
["Your skills in combat have gotten better, but you've still been ignoring your Smash skills. Therefore, Gudao, I challenge you to a battle!"]
He checked his clock, and he had plenty of time, "alright, I'll play smash with you, but only after I recover a bit and get myself some dinner," His muscles ached, and he needed to get some protein to recover from his workout.
"I'll take you up on your offer in the meantime little lady." Cu said enthusiastically.
"You sure Cu? Kicks is the #1 competitive Smash player in the pokemon world." Which is crazy to him. He knows Kicks is also a gym leader, so how she manages to be so good at a videogame with her schedule is baffling to him. He never believed it until he played Smash with her and she beat the crap out of him.
"Oh? A formidable one then. Heh, now I'm more pumped up!"
"Your funeral." He said, and Cu just scoffed.
"Come on kid, even if she does kick my butt, which I doubt, that won't mean shit to me. Because no matter the outcome, I am the better fighter in real life."
✦✧✦
He bit into his grilled chicken sandwich, and hummed as the flavors hit his mouth. Man, even unfried, this chicken is amazing. It's juicy, with a perfect char and seasonings, and the Japanese style mayo Emiya added just made it even better.
After he got his dinner, he came back to the simulation room, which had been turned into a game room, to watch Cu and Kicks's match.
Chat's game mode easily hooked up to the giant simulated TV, so everyone was able to watch the matches.
From what he's seen of his gameplay, Cu discovered the advanced mechanics quickly and was already at a pro player level.
He figured out how to perform advanced combos and could play with nearly any character with little difficulty to adjust. But the most impressive part was his superb timing, like near perfect in some instances, which is why he was able to perfectly evade or block attacks. Based on what the other servants who have fought against Cu have told him, even if they could surpass Cu in speed during a real battle, in Super Smash they failed to beat the Caster in timing and always lost against him. It's as if he knows what his opponents will do before they perform them.
Overall, Caster Cu is definitely the best smash player in Chaldea so far… but that didn't matter. Because whatever bullshit servant skill Cu was using to give him a boost in reaction time was only a speed bump for the #1 best smash player in the Pokémon world.
"Fuck you Mario!!" Cu screamed at the screen when his Villager was down-smashed into the void below the Final Destination stage by Mario.
The two of them had already gone through over a dozen matches by the time he came back with his sandwich. During his meal, Cu lost another ten times. Not that he was stomped mind you, he actually managed to hold his own for a while, and he was giving Kicks a good beating. He even managed to take a few of her lives, but so far, no wins.
Despite his earlier boasts of not caring about the outcome of a match, his current behavior said otherwise. He's seen Cu get angry and loudly bicker with Emiya, but he's never actually seen this raging gamer side of him before. Right now, Cu and Kicks were both tied, and the next life taken would win the game.
Villager respawned, and he immediately went on the offensive by spamming slingshots, many of them missing.
[Oh!! It looks like Kicks is on the ropes!!! ]
[Won't matter, he's gonna lose again. ]
[It'd be nice if Cu won, it was funny at first seeing a servant get whipped by a human, but now I just feel bad. He deserves a win. ]
[Go CasCu!! Win!! ]
"Take this!! Budget Wickerman!!" Cu roared as his Villager on the screen watered the sprout and a tree sprung from the stage.
But Cu wasn't done and launched a rocket.
Kicks dodged, but Cu, with his perfect timing, got close enough that Mario got a face full of fireworks and was sent flying.
"Yeaaaaahhh!! Finally!!!" Cu rose from his seat in victory, while Mario wailed in defeat as he was "blasted off again" in the background.
[( ˶°ㅁ°) !! ] x 431
[LET'S GOOO!! CASCU FINALLY BEAT KICKS!! ]
[Super Smash Announcer: "GAME. The winner is… Villager."]
[KicksYouIntheFace193 donated 100 bits]
["Good game. You're very annoying to play though. "]
"Heh, glad to hear it."
"Congrats Cu, you finally beat Kicks."
Suddenly, a thought came to him, "Say, why do you hate Mario so much? You didn't start getting annoyed until Kicks chose him, why?"
Cu sighed, "honestly? I have no clue. For some reason, whenever I look at that fat Italian plumber, something deep within my soul calls out for his blood." Cu's face suddenly shifted, like he had remembered a forgotten memory. The far off look then slowly morphed into a sadistic grin.
"Hey master, what are the odds that the Super Mario World is also a real place, like the Pokémon world?"
[Uh oh, I don't like where this is going. ]
"Hm, probably a nonzero chance." It's very possible it exists, the multiverse is vast after all.
"Then in that case, if you ever find yourself in the Super Mario world, take me with you."
Yeah, no. He knew what the man was thinking.
"...Cu, you're not allowed to stab Mario." His deadpan response did not discourage Cu, given how the Hound of Ulster was sporting a cocky grin so wide his canines were showing.
"... no promises Master. The fat fuck has it coming. Seriously, do you know how he treats his family? He deserves to get stabbed by my Gae Bolg."
[Blue-TheCHAMP: Gay Bolg? ]
[CasCu: it's Gáe Bolg you sweat sniffer! Don't you dare disrespect my spear like that again. ]
[Blue-TheCHAMP: I don't sniff sweat. ]
[Heart0f6old: Says the guy whose catchphrase is "smell ya later." ]
[__Red__: :laughing Pikachu Emote: ]
[Blue-TheCHAMP: ( -_- ) ]
["Gudao. Your turn. "]
He shrugged, finished up his chicken sandwich and washed it down with some water, "ah, alright. I'm game. Let's play."
He knew he was going to lose, but he knows Kicks has been looking forward to playing with him. After turning on game mode on his chat screen, he typed the smash game version that Kicks and Cu were playing.
Super Smash Bros Ultimate.
The game loaded up, and he went to the online matches icon and whatever magic connected worlds together matched him and Kicks right away.
Kicks immediately chose Ganondorf, the slowest and bulkiest character in the game, but one who packed heavy attacks.
He was tempted to choose Link to stay on theme, but someone caught his eye. Corrin, from Fire Emblem Fates.
That face brought some fond memories. He almost missed his chance to play the games they appeared in, since the Japanese release happened in the last week of June of this year, and he was hired by Chaldea a month later.
He was so grateful that one of his friends in Japan had managed to reserve a copy of the Conquest version of the game for him and was even thoughtful enough to send it over to his house in the states. Thankfully, he also had a Japanese DS, so the region lock didn't apply to him.
Chat didn't get a chance to see him play it, because he was so obsessed with it, to the point where he played the game until he cleared it.
He did promise to stream it later, but with the incineration of humanity, it was put on the backlog.
He really enjoyed the story, even though it punched him in the gut several times. He really felt bad for the Hoshidan siblings. Their mother and father died to protect their long-lost sibling, who they dreamed of reuniting with… only for that same long-lost sibling to betray them by siding with his adoptive siblings and returning to the kingdom that kidnapped him.
However, as horrible a decision that was, in Corrin's defense, the Hoshidans were strangers who they barely knew. It would be a worse betrayal if they chose the blood siblings they barely met over the adoptive siblings they've known and loved for years.
Regardless of the circumstances, both sides all loved Corrin deeply, and he respects Corrin for being brave enough to stick to their guns after making such a hard decision.
Honestly? He hopes he never has to make a tough choice like that. To betray someone for the sake of completing one of his missions… he doesn't know if he has the stomach to do it.
Anyway, he played as female Corrin during his gameplay, because he honestly really loved their design. Which is why his current pick is a no-brainer.
[Announcer: "Corrin! "]
Specifically, female Corrin.
[It's-ALWAYS-Pikachu: He should have chosen Pikachu!!! ]
[ShortShorts_QUEEN: Oh, I know her!! This is Gudao's waifu from that new fire emblem game!! ]
[Burning_Jealousy: Waifu? Her? Silly Anchin, to desire a fake person so much you wish to make her your bride. Well, do not worry, you won't need to wed a fictional character when you have me!! Your beloved, real, fire breathing Kiyohime!! ]
[Junior_Researcher: I wouldn't be so hasty now. Pokemon weren't real for your world either until we made first contact.
And considering multiverse theory is now confirmed, it's very possible that in another world, instead of us, Chaldea contacted the world of Fire Emblem, and Gudao actually met and hooked up with Corrin. ]
[ProfBurnet: :Finger pointing up emoji:]
[MalasadaMayhem: Now that you mention it, Corrin fits Gudao's type. White hair and red eyes, and knowing Fire Emblem, she's probably a dragon girl too. ]
[GroundHippowdon: Lol. Better pick a god and pray that the Fire Emblem world isn't real @ Burning_Jealousy, or else you're cooked. ]
[Burning_Jealousy: … I see. So not only do I have to worry about parasocial parasites clinging to my Anchin, I also have to worry about fictional characters becoming real too. How vexing… ]
With their characters selected, the stage selection occurred, and this time, Kicks got to choose the stage, which was, of course, Final Destination.
He suddenly felt it was a bad idea to make a kidnapped princess fight against a princess kidnapping Demon Lord, but by this point it was too late to turn back.
[Announcer: "Ready… GO!!"]
And his assumptions were immediately proven right, as Kicks closed the distance and barely let poor Corrin have a chance to fight back.
He sighed when he realized how hopeless it was from the start.
He saw as Ganondorf punched, kicked, and face grabbed Corrin to their deaths, over and over again.
He did manage to land some damage and a lucky kill here and there, but unlike Cu, he wasn't made of bullshit.
Life after life, match after match, he kept losing.
Yet Kicks was somehow not bored with these one-sided match ups. Was Kicks just a sadist? Probably. Which in hindsight, it made sense since the training routine that she made for him a few years ago was actually quite brutal.
He heard that she and Martha had been sending private DMs to each other, and the very next day after their first DM session, the difficulty of his training increased.
He knew it was for his own good but still…
[Mario: "HOO!!"
Corrin: "Gah!!"]
He brought his attention back to the screen just in time to see Mario punch Corrin in the face before she could grab the ledge.
["GAME! The winner is, Mario!"]
… maybe he should let Cu rough up Mario after all.
He looked at Chat's screen.
[KicksYouIntheFace193: Good game. Another? ]
He sighed, "I'm good Kicks, thanks for the match, I'm heading to bed." It was getting late, and he needed to be fully rested to ensure his magical energy was in full capacity. Either way, this smash session was a fun distraction from the anxiety he had been feeling the past few days.
He's more prepared now, so the next mission won't be like before.
He logged off of smash, and got up from the simulated couch, coincidently, GudakoBot introduced a poll at the same time.
[GudakoBot: New move vote!!
Before every major singularity, Chat will have the option to get one new potshot move to use at random!! However, if you choose to do so, you will lose one move like in the games, and it will also happen at random.
Majority rules apply, so servants are not given priority in this poll.
Here is the list of the current moves eligible to be replaced: Sand attack, Swift, Axe Kick, Sweet Kiss.
New possible moves: Hyper Beam, Ice Beam, Hold Hands, Bubble.
Learn a new move?
Yes.
No.]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Bad GudakoBot! Enticing people to play gacha is bad civilization! ]
[GudakoBot: :Kirei drinking wine emote :]
[GARcher: @ GudakoBot How did you even get… nevermind, I don't even want to know.]
[I vote YES. GIMME HYPERBEAM!! ]
[HYPERBEAM!! ] x437
[BloodCountess: How is a bubble going to do anything against an enemy? ]
[Don't let the move names deceive you, Bubble is actually much more than a thin sphere of soap and water. It actually packs a punch. ]
[Kream: Then what about the move "Hold Hands?" Is it secretly some powerful attack where you crush your opponent's hand? ]
[... no. Two pokemon hold hands. They are very happy. ]
[Kream:That's it? ]
[Yeah, that's it. I can't really defend it, it's a shitty move. I really hope we don't get that dud. ]
[GudakoBot: Poll results are in!! Option chosen: {Yes. }
Selecting move at random….
The move is "Hold Hands!!" ]
[Fuck! I jinxed it! ]
[It's okay. It's okay. We can work with this. So long as GudakoBot doesn't remove a powerful move we should be good.]
[GudakoBot: Choosing move at random to forget.
1… 2… 3… done!!
Congrats!! Chat has forgotten the move "Sweet Kiss" and learned "Hold Hands!!" ]
[:Throws keyboard at wall emote: ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Lewd. :Disgusted BB Emote: ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): :Censored Hand Holding emote:]
[: Pikachu Facepalm Emote: ] x 342
[PerfectlySaneHex redeemed Hold Hands ]
He felt something warm touch him. Looking down, he saw a gloved, feminine Hand holding his hand. It was a something that should have freaked him out, but he's not.
Happiness. That is all he feels at the moment.
[PerfectlySaneHex: YES!! I HELD HANDS WITH HIM!! IN YOUR FACES!!! ]
[Burning_Jealousy: You're not the only one who can hold hands with him Hex!! ]
[Burning_Jealousy redeemed Hold Hands ]
The gloved hand disappeared, only for another to take its place.
[PerfectlySaneHex redeemed Hold Hands ]
Hex retook her spot.
[Burning_Jealousy redeemed Hold Hands ]
Only for Kiyohime to take the spot away from her again.
… wasn't there a cooldown for redeems? They shouldn't have been able to do this. Whatever, he was too tired to care.
Chiyome, seeing the two chatters fight over his hand just sniffed at them like a high born noble would to a group of peasants, "pathetic."
She held onto his arm, "It's getting late, let's go back to your bed My Lord, you have a full day ahead of you tomorrow. " She stared at the camera with a smirk on her face.
[OrochiMochiHime: (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) ]
[PerfectlySaneHex: (¬`‸´¬) ]
[Burning_Jealousy: ( ◺˰◿ ) ]
[Bethany_Brawler: Touching a person of the opposite gender in an affectionate manner in public is a violation of modesty!! Cease your sinful ways Chiyome!!! :Deus Vult Crusader Emote:]
[PerfectlySaneHex: Yeah! You tell her Martha!! ]
[OrochiMochiHime:No. It is my duty as his bed warmer to keep him company at night.]
[Bethany_Brawler: Not anymore. I'm coming over. Your nights of indecency have come to an end. ]
Chiyome quickly ushered him out of the simulation room.
"GRAAAAAHH!!"
And the moment they stepped outside, the unmistakable roar of Tarasque echoed down the hall.
Martha wasn't kidding, she was dead serious.
He felt Chiyome's arm tremble in fear, "L-Let us make haste My Lord, you must be exhausted! You have a busy day tomorrow, we cannot have you stay up too late."
[PerfectlySaneHex: She's not going to make it far. (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵) ]
[Burning_Jealousy: Indeed. (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵) ]
[Are you guys sure you aren't long-lost sisters or something? ]
[MalasadaMayem: Nah, they just share the same brain cell sometimes.]
Unfortunately for Chiyome, Martha intercepted them before they made it down the hall. Chiyome tried to fight back, but was easily knocked out with a well-placed punch.
He tried to say something, but a glare from Martha shut him up, and he let it go.
For the first time in weeks, he ended up sleeping by himself in his now cold, empty room.
✦✧✦
The Next Day, Command Room
Romani POV
"Any preview this time from your chat Ritsuka?" He had been asking this question to him frequently the past few weeks. He and many others in Chaldea were originally skeptical that the information that was posted on that "U Tube" video was credible. But it proved to all be true, and thus, it made the Orleans singularity that much easier to investigate.
He was hoping it would be the same case here, but the apologetic look on Ritsuka's face quashed his hopes.
"Not really. Aside from Artemis and Orion, and that catgirl, no. Gudao Channel has apparently been slacking on updates."
He was afraid of that.
"Shame, but oh well, we make do with what we know. If the Greek gods are involved somehow, I doubt it means they actually descended.
The Age of Gods is firmly gone by the first century, so you will definitely not meet an actual god or goddess in the flesh during this Singularity." More than likely, the perpetrator will have some relation to them, or their Roman god counterparts. Perhaps Caligula? He was involved with Diana, the Roman counterpart of Artemis. God forbid that they have to face Romulus. Though he doubts the grand lancer will decide to even bother descending in his true form. Grands, even in the face of an apocalypse, will not interfere unless a Beast of Humanity is involved.
"Doctor Roman?"
"Oh, sorry, I got lost in my thoughts there for a moment." He straightened himself and put his professional mask back on, which caused the two of them to stand up straighter.
"Ritsuka Fujimaru and Mash Kyrielight, as you may have heard prior to this briefing, you will be rayshifting to Ancient Rome in the year 60 AD. Specifically, during Emperor Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus's reign." Ritsuka winced at the long name he had just recited.
He raised a brow at him, "I trust you did the homework Da Vinci gave you?"
Ritsuka scratched the back of his head, "y-yeah, but it was a struggle, and even then it feels like I don't know enough."
He appreciated the effort Ritsuka dedicated to his task, "something is better than nothing. Do not worry, people spend literal lifetimes studying history, to ask you to cram so much in a few weeks on top of your physical training? It's a bit much." Roman history is vast and spans centuries after all. Besides, Ritsuka is pretty good at adapting, so gaps in knowledge are not going to be an issue.
"By the way, if you encounter Emperor Nero or any nobles from that era, be sure to put the titles queen Marie Antoinette gave you to good use and introduce yourselves as nobility from a faraway land. That way you won't be immediately dismissed completely when you try to seek an audience with someone from the higher classes." And considering this is Rome they were talking about, even their titles might not be enough to seek out the Emperor or someone from the Senate, but at least they are better off being seen as barbarian nobles than barbarian plebeians.
Ritsuka raised his hand, and he gestured for him to continue. "Nero was that emperor who was blamed for the burning of Rome and persecuted Christians right?"
"Yes, the very same. Though that event will not happen for another four years from where you'll land. Also, be sure to mind your manners when speaking to the snobby elites. It would be easier to complete your mission if you secure help without having to constantly keep fighting potential allies to join our cause."
Ritsuka, satisfied with his answer, put his hand down.
"Going back to the topic of location and time, unfortunately, we couldn't locate the precise location where the anomaly in history occurred. We've been working non-stop to figure it out, but so far, the best we narrowed it down is the western side of the empire. " It's honestly frustrating he and the others put in so many consecutive all-nighters for nothing.
"If that is the case, would it not have been better to go to a different singularity? That way you can properly locate the area where the anomaly lies in Ancient Rome?"
Sighing, he decided to be blunt with Mash, "we looked into it, but unfortunately that's not possible. This next singularity has a Human Order Foundation rank of B+. The next singularity, which is located in the middle of the Atlantic, is Rank A, and the others exceed that score. While we could send you to the singularity in the Atlantic, there's no guarantee you would survive with your current experience.
While a B+ is a major leap compared to our initial readings of Orleans, it's still better than sending you to your deaths."
Mash and Ritsuka exchanged nervous glances.
He hated this. If he had any say in it, Mash would have never been allowed to be in the front lines, but such a scenario is a luxury they cannot afford to take. Her role was crucial and nonreplaceable.
"As much as we wanted to find the best location for you to pop in to resolve the singularity quickly, it's simply not possible. But, since this takes place in ancient Rome, we all decided that the imperial capital of Rome was as best a starting point than anywhere else." As the saying goes, all roads lead to Rome, so regardless of where they landed that would be their destination. So putting them as close as possible to the capital was obvious.
"It's alright Doctor, you and the staff did your best. We will resolve the singularity regardless of where we end up." Mash, the great kid she was, reassured him.
"Mash is right, you can count on us Doctor Romani."
["Don't forget us, we'll help where we can!"]
Everyone's reassurances warmed his heart, "That's the spirit! Alright, the same rules apply in this mission as your last. Locate the anomaly in history, then search for the Grail. When you find it, either obtain or destroy it. I and the rest of Chaldea have faith in you guys being successful."
His face softened, "oh, but please do us, and me all a favor… Please come back safely."
"Yes. We'll make it back to Chaldea, I promise." Mash promised, then turned to Ritsuka.
"...I'm counting on you, Senpai. I'll need your strength for this mission."
Ritsuka disagreed with her statement, "No mash, rather, it is your strength we will need."
Mash became timid at hearing those words, "No, that's... The fact is, running this mission requires your judgment and leadership."
"Mash is right Ritsuka. Your charisma and likeability is unmatched. Use it to gain the trust of servants to become our allies. Though do be careful, such soft skills will not work on all hostile servants, so don't expect your 'rizz' to work on everyone like it did with Jalter." Seriously, the kid had the potential to surpass his past self. Shame he is still in denial about needing help, poor kid is going to get eaten alive by his servants sooner or later.
Ritsuka's face reddened like a beet, while Mash gained a grumpy face. Ah young love, how wonderful. He honestly missed the feeling, especially now in the modern world where courting has turned into a cold and shallow transaction that made arranged, political marriages seem romantic by comparison.
Seeing Mash raise her hand brought him out of his musings, "Doctor, I have one question. May I ask?"
He gestured for the nervous girl to proceed.
"Hostile Servants and neutral Servants. Is there a way to distinguish them upon detection?"
He sighed at hearing Mash's question, "that would be nice, unfortunately, it's impossible to have the capacity to distinguish friend, ally, or foe in the way you wish Mash. Even if we combine Sheba and Trismegistus, the best we can do is to detect lifeforms and energy readings. "
"But you've said: 'enemy servants detected' before in past missions!!" Ritsuka reminded him.
"Did I?" He took a moment to think about it, then winced when he remembered he said that during the time the group was attending mass in the city of Thiers and probably a few times beforehand, but he cannot recall them.
"Oh, right, I did. Sorry about that. It was because back then, it was safer to assume all free servants were enemies. But now that we know better, it might be best I hold off on such hostile language. "
He cleared his throat, "in any case, the ability to distinguish hostility, that lies within the realm of psychology. For now, you can't quantify that with numbers. I'm sorry, Mash. "
Mash looked disappointed, causing him to feel guilt, "But, we can speculate from the situation. I'll warn you if there's over 70% chance of hostility. As for non-Servant readings of local humans, I will try my best to detect them as well."
"That's okay, Doctor. I'm sorry for asking too much of you. I realize it was logically unreasonable. But, even so…" Mash's voice trailed off, her face conflicted about the possible uncertainty they will have to face.
"You want to avoid fighting, don't you Mash?" Ritsuka asked.
Mash rubbed her arm, "...yes. Strategically speaking, it's best to avoid unnecessary battles. But no, I knew it was an unreasonable request. Please forget it."
"No, forgive me. I know I'm putting you in unreasonable danger… To the best of my ability, I'll support and back you up. I can promise you that much at least. Mash, Ritsuka."
They both nodded and replied with "understood."
"Thank you. ...Well, let's start the Rayshift then, we can't spend all our time chatting, we can talk more on the road. Rome is massive, so there will be plenty of places for us to have our nice chats."
Mash and Ritsuka both seemed to hesitate for a moment before they just decided to climb into their coffins.
✦✧✦
He sat on his comfy chair with a cup of coffee on hand.
The command room came alive as preparations for the rayshift took place.
He took a sip of his coffee, then after taking a deep breath of relaxation, he set it down and said: "Program start!"
The staff typed on their devices, all of them ensuring that Ritsuka and Mash transferred safely.
"Unsummon Program start…."
Then shit hit the fan.
"Error."
Romani's eyes bulged from his sockets, "error? error?!!"
"There was a divergence in solar coordinates," one of the staffers reported.
"What are the current solar coordinates?"
The staffer looked through the information. His stomach twisted when the woman let out a gasp at what she found.
"Well?" he might have sounded a bit authoritative, but it can't be helped. Both Ritsuka and Mash's lives were on the line.
"If we continue as is, it would rayshift Ritsuka Fujimaru and Mash Kyrielight inside the center of the sun."
The loud command room had fallen silent earlier, but now it was so quiet one could hear their own heart beating inside their chest.
"... what?"
The middle of the Sun?!! How?! That's not possible, this kind of mistake is not something that would have slipped under the radar without anyone noticing. Foul play? Who could possibly- This was no time to let the mind wander! He has to fix this or else Mash and Ritsuka could end up rayshifting inside hell!!
"Recalibrate to a different location, now!" he demanded and to his team's credit, they barely flinched before they got to work.
"Recalibrating…. Done!" Another staffer reported as the new coordinates were calculated.
He fell on his chair with a plomp, a sigh of relief escaping from his lungs.
That was close, he almost had a heart attack.
"Spiritron Conversion start. Rayshift starting in 3, 2, 1… All procedures cleared."
Opening his eyes, he stared at the coffins of Ritsuka and Mash below. He will have to apologize to Ritsuka and Mash when they arrive in a completely different location.
He just hopes they land somewhere safe.
"Grand Order commencing operation."
Second Singularity Alluring Empire of Perfected Eternity: Septem
✦✧✦
???, 60 AD, Septem Singularity
Ritsuka POV
He opened his eyes and saw the blazing hot sun shining over the open blue sky.
A giant circle of clouds loomed nearby, just like in France.
Turning his head, he spotted a panicked Mash, who was yelling something at him, but due to the roaring wind in his ears, he couldn't make out what she said.
His peripheral vision caught the sight of a sandy horizon, did they rayshift near a desert?
Then it hit him, the sensation of falling.
His eyes widened in horror.
Oh crap! They're falling to their deaths!!
He opened his mouth to scream, but he could not even hear himself due to the violent winds.
[OrochiMochiHime: My Lord!! Mash!! No!! ]
[Burning_Jealousy: ANCHIN!! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ]
[Gloria2Galar: CHALDEA WTF!! YE GUYS RAYSHIFTIT THAIM I THE SKY!!! AN THEY DON'T HAVE A FLYIN TYPE TAE SAVE THAIM!!]
[They're dead!! They're fucking dead!! ]
[Welp, it was nice knowing you guys. ]
[PerfectlySaneHex: MASH, DO YOUR SHIELD THING!! JUST LIKE IN FUYUKI!! ]
He felt the sudden urge to look at Mash again, and he saw her reaching out for him.
Oh right, Mash can handle this!! She can definitely save them!! He just needs to reach out and grab her hand!! Their fingertips were just about to touch when, all of a sudden, a blinding light flooded the already bright desert.
Mash gained a fearful look that she only ever used when something really, really bad was about to happen.
Something was coming for them.
Something bad.
And up here? They were sitting ducks.
They were going to die.
The light intensified until it rivalled the sun. He closed his eyes, waiting for something painful to happen.... But that never came to pass.
Instead, a strong, but gentle arm held him in their embrace.
The wind stopped roaring in his ears, and he could hear again. And what he heard was something he never expected, a woman's voice.
"Got you! Hold on you two, I'm going to descend!"
The force of gravity changed, and just like the woman said, they weren't falling anymore, they were descending at incredible speeds.
This mysterious person, whoever she was didn't matter, she saved them.
The woman slowed to a hover over the desert sands and gently placed both him and Mash on their feet. However, the sudden rollercoaster ride had turned his legs to jelly, and he fell to his knees.
"Are you two okay?" The woman called out in concern.
He took a gasp of air, "y-yes we're fi-" The rest of his sentence got stuck in his throat when he laid his eyes on his savior.
She wore a very elaborate white battle dress that covered every inch of her body. Her shiny white chest plate glistened in the desert sun, alongside her impressive, tall crown. The headpiece itself was made of sharp pieces of gold embroidered with expensive jewels that hovered over her head in the shape of a crown.
But the most striking part about her, in his opinion, were her mesmerizing blue eyes.
He had honestly never seen someone so beautiful before in his life. It was like she came straight out of a fairy tale.
The possibility of which is high since this woman is very clearly a servant.
[This lady looks so fucking amazing! ]
[So cool….]
[IliekQTThings: OMA SHE'S SO PRETTYY!!! LIKE AN ANGEL!! <3 ]
[Eon_Red: She saved Gudao and Mash!! Yay!! ]
"Y-Yes, we're fine. Thank you so much for saving us!!" Mash bowed at a 90-degree angle.
He followed suit, "thank you so much!"
"I'm glad to hear you are unharmed…. Now if you don't mind me asking, What were you doing up there? If I hadn't been walking nearby, you would have fallen to your deaths!"
He got up from his bow, and scratched his cheek, "um, sorry, we didn't really have a choice where to show up."
Wait, this woman has a crown, that must mean she's royalty. Crap, Romani just warned them to mind their manners around elites, and they already messed up not even five minutes since they got here.
"I apologize for the rudeness, my name is Ritsuka Fujimaru, and this is Mash Kyrielight, we are nobles from a distant land. And um, if it's not too rude to ask, may we know our savior's name?"
The woman stayed quiet for a while, observing them with furrowed brows. For some reason her eyes lingered on Mash for a moment, before she looked back at him and smiled.
"Well met, Ritsuka Fujimaru and Mash Kyrielight."
Her posture shifted and her body shone brightly.
The magnificent outfit dissipated into the ether, and to their shock, they were reduced to rags. Her crown shrank into a single curved gold Tiara with spikes decorating it, and her body was now chained in golden shackles and chains which glistened in the desert sun.
"You stand before Septimia Zenobia, Queen of the Palmyrene Empire. But you may refer to me as Queen Zenobia."
Holy shit… their savior had just proudly taken her clothes off in front of them while announcing herself a queen… a bombastic one at that.
The curves, thighs that can crush a skull, and surprisingly, her well toned abs… which look really freaking amazing on her. Her impressive chest was in full display for all to see, only covered by the black micro bikini she was wearing.
Stop gawking at her dumbass, you're supposed to mind your manners!!
He averted his eyes, but since there was nowhere safe for his eyes to look without seeing skin, he decided to look at Mash... who had also been left speechless by the sight, given how red her face was.
And Chat?
[Heart0f6old: :Hyperventilating Phillip J. Fry Emote:]
[IliekQTThings: (○□○) ]
[(⊙_⊙) ] x 1721
Chat felt the same.
_____________________________________________________________
AN: You thought it was gonna be Nero who was gonna show up first, but surprise!!
It was actually Zenobia!!
Septem has officially started, and I am excited to show you guys what I cooked up.
Speaking of, huge shoutout to Flowerman (idk his username in webnovel) for helping me plan the outline of this arc and for being my nasu lore expert. Honestly this arc would have been much harder to plan without him.
Also, here's the cover image for this arc, which I will update later this week after most of you have finished reading this chapter.
That's it for this week, I'll see you in the next.