The previous night had been a whirlwind of chaos, and I was eager to sleep off the pain. Sometimes, I wish I could sleep in a dream. But I could not choose my dreams; my dreams chose me, and the one I am in now is a nightmare that holds me captive. I didn't know what I wished for when I prayed for endless slumber. Back home, I was a writer. I was heartbroken and felt shattered, but I knew it would pass. I had a name, I was a person who had issues, but my old life and despair seem like nothing compared to the suffering I am in now or, instead, that I have caused.
I woke up in a body that smiled without my permission. I could feel his laughter in my throat just before his presence fell away to the back of my mind, and I took control. Horrified by this nightmare, I try to focus my vision. I feel sudden coldness and emptiness in my chest. A darkness that has inhabited this body since the day it was born. I gasped for air as if I hadn't taken a breath in a long time. Perhaps I had forgotten, or maybe it took a moment for my mind to adjust to the vessel's wiring. Vessel? Why did I say that? I snap out of thought. Where am I?
I stand in a sewer, the sound of water echoing all around me. Multiple tunnels and vast darkness ahead of each led to an eerie feeling in my mind.
"How did you get here?" He said to me. Startled by his disturbing voice, I lifted my hands, hands that were not mine but his. I began rotating my arms, horrified at the sickly pale skin I had with the Frankenstein stitches.
He shouted, but he no longer had control. "Am I human?" I wondered, feeling strangely out of character. "No, I am not Human, and this body belongs to me, not you. So, leave now, and I may transfigure you painlessly," he responded confidently, and I was terrified my days were numbered.
I looked around, and suddenly I understood what I had seen before me on the sewer floor. The smells hit all at once, and I wanted to vomit. Rotting stank in the air. There were lifeless and disfigured bodies everywhere. I gasped as I dropped to my knees. "How can this be? This world has magic. Or just madness. Did I do this? Or did he? Are we the same now? What could I have done to deserve this? Why am I waking up inside this creature with no compassion or heart for humanity?" I looked up, asking for an explanation for everything I poured out, but no one answered—just the demonic voice in my mind.
"You better run if you want to get away in time," he said again. "Get away," I shouted. "You did all this!" I say in disbelief. "It's part of my charm," he says, and I can hear the smirk on his face and the laughter that follows. "Relax, you humans are so fragile," He responds to my silence.
I see someone emerging from the shadows. It's a child. "Please stay back," I say, raising my hand. The child kept charging towards me with tears flooding his eyes, screaming, "You killed my mom! " I ran to push him away and kept going until I heard him cry again, but this time in excruciating pain. I look back, and the child is changing. His body is bubbling in mutilation.
"You have a knack for this, and to think a child didn't even stop you from transfiguring him," The voice in my head says to me with laughter again. I started running again and didn't stop. I ran through the tunnels as if intuition was leading the way, and finally, I saw daylight and the massive body of water until I reached the ocean. "It's Tokyo Bay, you fool." He said, more annoyed than his usual devious remarks.
I stood there, looking out, as the sun started to set. "I don't want to be here anymore," I yelled. "I want to wake up, please," I begged, but there was no relief.
"You aren't asleep; you'll never go back, you know. You will never be free from me—even if you escape my body, your soul won't escape me. But with a power like this, why would you want to? You could save these humans from themselves if you'd stop fighting me."
"Save them from themselves? You aren't saving them! You are destroying them, destroying who they are, and leaving them dead." I cry out. "Who are you?" I ask in frustration to know the monster within.
"Cursed Spirit Mahito, Cursed Technique, Idle Transfiguration. I can manipulate souls, and I was doing a fantastic job until you showed up and stole my body. How ironic; I transform souls and get hijacked by a soul. Who sends you? Was it Gojo? Could he have the ability to move souls? "How intriguing, " he says.
"I don't know who Gojo is, and I don't know how I ended up here. I fell asleep, and now I am a prisoner to these hands that aren't mine. Who is Gojo?" I ask in return.
"Just this obnoxious, gloating do-gooder who thinks he's in charge, but he will soon learn who is really in charge here.
"So, is Gojo a good guy?"
"Depends on who is asking."
"I need to find him, and maybe he can save me."
"No, don't do that!" Mahito yells, but I have already begun my journey as I head back into the city.
I see a sign that says 'Tokyo,' and I am in awe of all the buildings ahead. Back home, I lived in a small, tiny town, and it was nothing like this. People rushed past me. I clutched these cursed hands to my chest, afraid of brushing even a stranger's arm.
"I can feel your fear, hatred, regret, and disgust. "Curses are born from those emotions," and he reverts to his devious self.
"I must find Gojo," I repeat over and over to block out this Mahito. But first, I need to tie my hands together and ensure I don't touch anyone else. I looked around the alley, and I turned down to escape the crowd. After rummaging through the garbage, I find some old black gloves and pull them on. Then, I tear apart a few linen scraps and tie my arms together. "This will work…I hope."
"Hope? How adorably human of you. Let's see how long it survives once the world starts peeling back your soul like skin. Then you'll be mine. I'll let you keep your hope long enough for me to crush it myself." He says with a strong belief that he will do precisely that. And suddenly, I felt chills down my spine and was even more eager to find this Gojo.
His hands are undoing this world I am in, but now they are mine to keep steady, to change their fate, to change mine?
"Hope is all I have left."