Lin Li returned to his seat with a gloomy expression.
As mentioned before, Lin Li's English grades were average at best, and his spoken English was an absolute mess—so bad that even Bai Bufan would look good in comparison. He could spell out a lot of words, but pronouncing them correctly? Forget it.
"I just scored a perfect zero on my recitation test. Want to give it a try too?"
In any case, he still had to do another recitation next class.
Bai Bufan's recitation wasn't much better—honestly, it was trash—but at least he managed to stammer his way through it. All he had to do now was recite it again for the group leader after class, and he'd be good.
This was nothing. The group leader was basically a bro; he'd just turn a blind eye and let it slide.
Right now, though, Bai Bufan was more curious about something else. He stared at his English textbook, but his eyes kept drifting toward Lin Li.
"Lin Li, what happened? Why did the principal call you in?"
"Confession." Lin Li responded gloomily.
Bai Bufan: "?"
"I told him teacher-student relationships are inappropriate, and we should wait until after I graduate to consider it," Lin Li said with a perfectly straight face.
Bai Bufan recalled the principal's image in his mind. A deep sense of admiration surged within him as he clasped his hands together. "Bro, you must be starving."
Then, with lightning speed, Bai Bufan intercepted the two envelopes Lin Li was about to stash in his desk drawer. Seeing that they weren't sealed, he immediately violated Lin Li's privacy and opened them right then and there. His eyes widened.
His mind raced, and he turned to Lin Li with a solemn expression. "Did the principal force himself on you? Is this hush money? Lin Li, buy some good post-exposure medication. Don't get sick."
Lin Li couldn't be bothered to respond.
"Wait a minute… does that mean your farts will never make a sound again?" Bai Bufan suddenly realized a critical detail.
Lin Li: "?"
After briefly cursing Bai Bufan's entire family lineage, Lin Li snatched the envelopes back. The one containing cash was casually tossed into his drawer.
Money in school was perfectly safe. Most students wouldn't even think of stealing it. Plus, with the giant surveillance camera positioned above the front door, everyone was under constant watch.
But tissues and snacks? Those were different. Leaving them on the desk? Dangerous. Even putting them in the drawer wasn't safe.
Especially tissues. After gym class, if you came back late, they'd be gone—just like street-side eggs in India, only their empty, trampled shells remaining after multiple rounds of frying.
Lin Li started checking the value of the supermarket gift cards.
"Wait, why do you even have these? And they can only be used for groceries? Lin Li, I remember you don't really cook, right? Are you sure you can use these?" Bai Bufan asked, puzzled.
"Who says I don't cook? I've mastered plenty of recipes. Let me put it this way—I have a signature homemade dish~" Lin Li said in a perfect Beijing accent.
Bai Bufan reacted immediately. "You're not allowed to use soy sauce."
"…Then I've got nothing."
The essence of Yu Qian's recipes: three key traits—simple, cheap, terrible; one core element—soy sauce.
Maybe he should study Huang Lei's recipes instead. Those seemed solid—never a bad review on cooking shows.
Who said this recipe was bad? It was amazing.
After tallying up, the total value of the gift cards was around 800 yuan. Even if converted to cash, it'd be at least 700—a decent emergency fund.
Bai Bufan couldn't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Bro, what actually happened? I'm begging you, tell me. I feel like ants are crawling all over me. I'm so anxious I might just take a dump on the floor."
"Nothing much. Over the weekend, I helped our local police station solve a case. They came today to give me a letter of commendation, along with these rewards and gifts," Lin Li explained.
Since the commendation letter would be posted publicly, it was impossible to keep everything a secret. Instead of dealing with endless questions later, he might as well say something close to the truth now.
"For real? That's insane!" Bai Bufan's eyes widened. This was definitely more believable than the principal's confession. "What kind of case was it? The reward must be in the thousands, right? What did you do to earn so much?"
"I discovered and arrived at the crime scene, confirmed the criminal activity, and immediately called the police. Then, I personally engaged in close-quarters combat with one of the suspects to stall for time.
"My body endured countless gropes and squeezes. Many times, I almost cried out, but with unwavering resolve, I held on until the police arrived. In the end, the case was fully solved, restoring peace and justice to Xiling Town."
Lin Li smiled faintly, exuding an air of composure.
"Bro, stop bullsh*tting. Just tell me the truth. Did you pick up a lost wallet with a billion in cash?" This was way too far-fetched—Bai Bufan wasn't buying it.
"If there was even a single lie in what I just said, I swear on my Xiling Chicken Roll that I'll be impotent," Lin Li scoffed, shooting Bai Bufan a cold glance.
That did it. Bai Bufan had to believe him now—Lin Li would never joke about his sacred chicken roll.
Besides, Lin Li hadn't technically lied.
He just wished he and Xiao Jing had battled for another twenty minutes.
Bai Bufan stared at Lin Li in shock, scanning his body as if searching for leftover injuries—but found none.
"The pain is in my heart, not on my body. The greatest suffering I endured in this case… was emotional," Lin Li said calmly.
And that was true. The heartbreak of missing out on those twenty extra minutes.
Bai Bufan was genuinely impressed. "Damn, that's legit. But your physique is so weak—how did the criminal not overpower you? Kind of makes them look like a clown."
"Even the weakest person, if they use a well-timed slide tackle, can rip open a tiger's belly with their toenail—let alone an unprepared human. And besides, I'm not the same frail guy I used to be.
"Bufan, quit the horny life. You don't understand the power of celibacy until you truly embrace it."
"Who says I don't? I practice it every day!" Bai Bufan's face turned red. How could he be falsely accused like this? "Anyway, you still haven't told me—what was the case? A robbery? A theft?"
Good question. Next time, don't ask.
But Lin Li had a backup plan.
"I just discussed this with the school and the police station. It needs to be kept confidential. Sorry, I can't tell you," Lin Li said, adopting the demeanor of a wise master.
"But you know I can keep a secret! I swear on my chicken roll, Dad, just tell me—I won't tell anyone!" Bai Bufan was dying of curiosity.
"Buddha said: it cannot be spoken." Lin Li chuckled and shook his head. "Bufan, just focus on class."
Adjusting his position, Lin Li prepared to sleep. He hadn't forgotten his true purpose in school.
Bai Bufan ground his teeth in frustration.
A short while later—
Bai Bufan turned his head again.
Xiling Town wasn't a big place. News spread fast. But this past week, he hadn't heard of any major cases.
And assisting in a police investigation? That's something worth bragging about. Why keep it secret—even from him?
Their bond was like this: if they were watching TV on the couch and someone lost the remote, neither would ask if it was under the other's butt.
What could be so secretive?
—Unless… it was that anti-vice raid that Zhou Baowei had mentioned.
"Lin Li… you didn't help bust that massage parlor, did you?" Bai Bufan asked.
Lin Li closed his eyes.
"I know you're not asleep."
Lin Li opened his eyes and rolled them. "No way. Stop bothering me—I'm going to sleep."
"Oh." Bai Bufan nodded. Maybe he was overthinking it.
One minute later.
Bai Bufan turned his head again.
He remembered Lin Li's reaction when Zhou Baowei mentioned the raid.
Something felt off.
He said softly, "Lin Li, why don't you swear on your chicken roll again?"