Jeon.J lifted the letter from Bamson's sweater pocket again and placed it carefully on the sofa.
He had received letters like this almost every day, but reading them wasn't always easy.
The TBS received thousands of letters online every day, and even though some were opened and read individually, most had to be stored carefully.
He had a special place for them—a room covered on all walls with wallpaper, stacked with letter after letter, a kind of small universe of written words. Each letter was preserved with care, cleaned daily so that no dirt could ruin a single page.
Even now, twenty years after the first letter had arrived, Jeon.J still remembered that initial letter, kept in that same safe place.
A small team at TBS sorted through daily mail, separating letters for reading from those for storage, making sure nothing was lost or damaged. Over the years, Jeon.J had watched the letters, observing how fans' words changed with time, feeling the love and sincerity behind them. Live streams and events gave the team a chance to thank fans, though they admitted they couldn't read every letter; there were just too many. Yet every letter mattered, and every single word was cherished.
RAMY, loved, had grown up in the letters they sent—Jeon.J and other members could see the young fan's words evolve, and they valued them deeply.
Now, Jeon.J opened the letter.
At first, the contents made little sense, and he tried to close it, thinking to put it aside. But something caught his eye, a tiny note written in minuscule letters.
He squinted at it.
"Did you really have to write it so small?" he muttered softly, amused. But just like every other letter, he treasured it—so it stayed in his hands.
Jeon.J, your English was excellent, yet even he had to focus hard to read those tiny words. It was a little tease, he thought, and he chuckled to himself.
Jeon.J turned on his phone, opened Google, and began typing the first word from the tiny note:
Masal
He pressed search.
Minji, curious, leaned closer, her eyes wide. "Jeon… what does it mean?"
Jeon.J glanced at her, a teasing smile forming on his lips. He noticed Zoya in the back seat, turning her face subtly toward the mirror, her cheeks warming. Her expression was a mix of embarrassment and quiet shock—after all, this was a secret she had only ever shared with Allah in her prayers.
Trying to keep the moment light, Jeon.J let out a small, playful laugh before explaining to Minji:
"Masal… It's actually a baby girl's name. But it also means a torch, a guiding light in the darkness—something that shows the way."
Minji's eyes lit up with surprise and delight.
Jeon.J, glancing at Zoya again in the mirror, noticed her turning slightly away, staring out the window at the passing scenery, her cheeks still flushed.
Minji's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait… ababy girl's name?" she asked, almost laughing.
Jeon.J nodded, still glancing at his phone. "Yes… I searched it, and this is what came up."
"Oh wow…" Minji breathed out, clearly impressed. Then, teasingly, she added,
"By the way… if this letter is from your fan girl, then why did she suddenly want you to tell the name?"
Zoya's face stiffened. Her lips pressed together, and she didn't know whether to protest or hide her embarrassment. Jeon.J noticed her immediately, smiling faintly to himself.
He turned slightly in the mirror, taking in Zoya's reaction. Her redness, the way she was trying not to show it—it was like a quiet battle being waged between them.
A war without words.
No one spoke. No one raised a hand. And yet, the tension, the teasing, the silent push-and-pull—it continued.
Zoya finally reached for her bag. "I'm leaving," she said quietly, standing as if to escape the charged atmosphere in the car.
But Minji quickly stopped her. "Wait! Hold on—you haven't heard the meanings of the other three words yet!"
Jeon.J smirked. He knew the moment was perfect: Zoya's silence, Minji's curiosity, and the playful teasing he could continue with the remaining three names.
"I'm not listening," Zoya said softly, reaching for her bag. "I'm going."
Jeon.J felt a sudden chill settle in his eyes. He looked at her through the mirror, but Zoya refused to meet his gaze. She didn't want to stay any longer, and she certainly couldn't look at him. It was a silent standoff—a quiet war between the two of them. No words were spoken, no hands moved, yet the tension between them was palpable.
Minji leaned forward and nudged Zoya lightly.
"Shhhhhh… stay quiet. But tell me, Jeon.J—what's the next word's meaning?"
Jeon.J, thinking for a moment, leaned back slightly against the seat and said clearly:
"Masa."
Minji's curiosity sharpened. "Masa… what does it mean?"
Jeon.J's eyes flicked again to the mirror, catching Zoya's reflection. She kept her face turned toward the window, her cheeks faintly pink. She didn't want to see, yet she couldn't ignore the words. Jeon.J smiled faintly—he was enjoying this silent, playful battle.
He smiled faintly, enjoying the quiet tension. "Masa… a boy's name. It means 'true' or 'elegant.' Simple, but meaningful."
Minji's eyes lit up. "Oh… that's really beautiful!"
Zoya, still refusing to look, felt her heart tighten. Her fingers gripped her bag as the quiet tension continued between them. Jeon.J's gaze lingered on her in the mirror, noting every subtle shift of expression, every color in her cheeks.
Zoya quietly pointed toward the White Bowl Kitchen, signaling the car be stopped slightly further back. Only two names remained, and Zoya knew she had to stay—one by one, the secrets were unfolding.
Jeon.J glanced again at Zoya in the mirror. Her eyes avoided his gaze, cheeks slightly warm, her expression tense but restrained. A faint, silent war lingered between them.
He turned back to Minji, voice calm, precise.
"Minar."
Minji's curiosity flared. "Minar… what does it mean?"
Jeon.J smiled faintly, enjoying the quiet moment, the way Zoya was silently resisting while still listening.
"Minar… it means a tower or monument, something tall and guiding. A landmark that stands out, reminding others of its presence."
"Wait… is this a baby girl's name or a boy's name?" she asked, tilting her head.
Zoya stiffened instantly. Her fingers gripped her bag tighter. Her heart raced, and she turned slightly toward the window, trying not to show how uneasy she felt.
Jeon.J tightened his grip on the steering wheel, keeping his voice calm but firm.
"It's a baby girl's name," he said clearly.
Minji's eyes widened in surprise, and she leaned back, a small smile on her face.
Zoya's cheeks flushed deeper. She didn't look at him, didn't speak—she could only feel the weight of the secret being spoken aloud. The quiet tension in the car thickened, like a gentle storm that neither moved nor broke, holding all of them suspended in that single moment.
Jeon.J glanced at Zoya. She was still seated, hesitating to get up, caught between leaving and staying. Finally, she sank back into the seat, taking a deep, quiet breath.
Minji noticed her and smiled gently. "Looks like this one's making you uneasy, huh?"
Zoya said nothing. Her heart was heavy. One by one, the secrets she had never shared aloud were unfolding before someone else. The letter—the piece of paper she had written her hidden thoughts on—was now exposing her private world. Until now, those words had been safe with Allah, but now, on paper, they were revealed to others. Her chest tightened, a deep sadness settling over her.
Jeon.J leaned slightly toward the mirror, watching her carefully. His voice remained calm, almost gentle, as he spoke to Minji:
"Miran…"
Minji leaned closer, curiosity shining in her eyes.
Jeon.J explained softly: "Miran… It's a name often linked to honor, strength, and leadership. It means someone respected, noble, or powerful—a person who carries themselves with dignity."
Zoya's fingers gripped the seat tightly. She didn't look at him, didn't speak. Her secret—the feelings she had never voiced—was now slowly unfolding in front of them. Yet, even as her heart sank, she remained seated, silent, letting the words wash over her.
"Wait… is this a boy's name or a girl's name?" she asked softly.
Zoya's heart skipped. Her fingers tightened on the seat. She stayed silent, cheeks warm, unable to look. One by one, her deepest secrets—words she had never shared aloud—were being revealed.
Jeon.J gripped the steering wheel firmly, voice calm but certain:
"It's a boy's name," he said.
A tear fell from her eye, shattering silently against her palm… yet she quickly turned her face toward the window, as if she longed to disappear beyond the glass—somewhere no one could see her.
Minji's eyes widened, absorbing the meaning, while Zoya sank slightly in her seat, letting the weight of the revelation settle. The quiet tension in the car deepened, the secret now fully out, yet wrapped in the gentle calm of Jeon.J's presence.
"Isn't it… strange?" Minji murmured, her brows knitting together as she replayed the names in her mind. "People usually send love… wishes… sometimes even hate to idols. But this… this feels different. Almost… unsettling."
Jeon.J didn't react much. He lifted his shoulders in a faint shrug, his expression unreadable. "It's nothing," he said quietly, almost dismissively.
Then, after a brief pause, she added, "It could just be four friends' names. Maybe there's something written in that letter you didn't understand… You couldn't even identify the language, right?"
His gaze drifted away for a moment before returning to her. "If you had read the whole thing… maybe it would've been just like the others—full of love… or simple wishes."
The air between them fell silent, but the unease didn't fade. Somehow… it still felt like there was more hidden beneath those names.
The car moved steadily along the quiet road, the faint hum of the engine filling the silence.
Jeon.J tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his thoughts drifting, connecting pieces he hadn't meant to connect.
"I think…"
His voice came out low, almost distant.
"First MJ… Masal Jeon.
Second… Masa Jeon.
Third… Minar Jeon.
Fourth… Miran Jeon."
The words barely left his lips before something shifted inside him.
A sudden heaviness.A tightness in his chest.
He inhaled sharply, as if the air had thinned around him. Without a word, he rolled the car window down, letting the cold breeze rush in, trying to steady himself.
Beside him, Minji scrolled absently through her phone, but the subtle change didn't go unnoticed. She turned her head, studying him.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
Jeon.J nodded quickly, forcing a small, reassuring gesture.
Minji watched him for a second… then turned back, letting the silence return.
But Jeon.J wasn't okay.
Not at all.
At the same time—
The restaurant door slid open with a soft sound.
Zoya stepped inside.
Her face had gone pale, almost drained of life—because some secrets are safer when they remain buried deep within… and today, one of hers had stepped out, standing right in front of her.
Something she couldn't even bear to look in the eye.
And now… it was no longer just difficult.
It was real.
She didn't go to the kitchen.
Instead, she walked slowly into the dining hall and sat down at an empty table. Her hands came together, fingers tightly intertwined, resting on the surface as if holding herself together.
"Ya Allah… what just happened…?"
Her thoughts trembled inside her.
"He'll find out… he'll understand what MJ means… how will I ever face him? I won't be able to look into his eyes… this wasn't supposed to happen… what am I going to do now…?"
She lowered her head.
Her eyes filled, the tears gathering quietly—because those four "MJ" weren't just letters.
They were something she had kept hidden with love… something dangerously close to her heart.
And now, they were exposed.
Vulnerable.
Real.
A tear slipped free.
Then suddenly—
She felt it.
A presence.
The faint sound of a chair pulling out.
Someone is sitting across from her.
Zoya froze.
Her breath caught in her throat as her fingers tightened against each other.
Slowly… hesitantly…
She lifted her gaze.
To be continued...
Regards
ZK