The main hub of the SHIELD Helicarrier was a symphony of quiet, controlled chaos. Agents moved with a silent, purposeful efficiency, their faces illuminated by the cool, blue light of a hundred holographic displays. At the center of it all, on the commander's chair, Nick Fury was laying out contingencies, his one good eye scanning a dozen different scenarios at once.
"Sir," Maria Hill said, her voice a crisp, professional counterpoint to the low hum of the hub, "is all of this really necessary? Jack Hou might have just used last Christmas as a spontaneous attack on those politicians. There's no guarantee he'll do it again this year."
Fury didn't look up from his display. "He is an uncontrollable variable, Hill," he said, his voice a low, gravelly rumble. "Even our so-called top analysts don't know what made him go to Japan, and that led to a battle that nearly cracked the sky. We don't even know what happened in Japan. That's how unpredictable he is. All we can do is prepare for every possibility."
Hill sighed, a quiet sound of resignation. "Understood, sir."
"Oh, and have Barton and Romanoff in my office in ten," Fury added. "I need their report on the sightings of Magneto and his Brotherhood."
Hill nodded and walked away.
Fury turned his attention back to his work, his gaze sweeping over a dozen monitors dedicated to a single, infuriating subject: Jack Hou. He commanded every available agent to track every sighting, every rumor. "What the hell are you searching for, Jack?" he muttered to himself. "Why use so many clones?"
The monitors were a testament to the sheer, nonsensical scale of Jack's operation. There were lists and photo evidence from every corner of the globe. A clone meditating in the deep jungles of Kalimantan. Another perched on the very peak of Mount Everest. Two clones having what looked like a picnic on the ruins of Machu Picchu. One clone on top of each of the Great Pyramids, striking a different, dramatic pose.
And then there were the videos. A hiker on Mount Everest had recorded his encounter. The clone, looking completely unfazed by the freezing altitude, was seen joking around.
"Hey," the clone said in the shaky footage, his voice perfectly clear despite the wind. "Got any spare jackets? Kekekeke, just kidding."
The hiker, a Frenchman, recognized him instantly. "Jack Hou? Why are you here?"
The clone stopped, his grin widening. He then responded, in perfect, Parisian French, "Hmmm, a Frenchman. What is a baguette-eater doing on Mount Everest? Do you think this snow is ketamine? Kekekeke."
Fury's eye twitched. The video concluded another piece of the impossible puzzle. Somehow, Jack could speak any language, even one he had barely heard. If Nick Fury had any hair left, he would have pulled it out. Every single video, every single sighting, was a dead end. They offered no clue, no hint as to what the monkey was searching for. They were just a collection of unhinged, chaotic, and utterly meaningless encounters.
…
The first, pale light of Christmas morning was just beginning to touch the endless, snow-covered horizon of the North Pole. The X-Men, bundled in warm Alfar-made coats, took turns riding the magnificent, starlight-powered sleigh, their whoops and cheers echoing in the crisp, cold air.
One by one, they finished their joyrides, their faces flushed with a mixture of cold and pure, unadulterated fun. Jack bent down to Jubilee's level, a conspiratorial grin on his face. "Got the snaps ready?"
Jubilee proudly held up her phone, showing him the gallery of pictures she had taken throughout their stay: the group huddled by the fire, the chaotic toy-making, the hungover gods, and a particularly good shot of Scott looking terrified on the sleigh. "Don't forget to tag me," Jack said.
Jubilee gave him a strange look. "You have Instagram? It just came out, like, two months ago."
"Duh," Jack said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Who do you think I am, Captain America? I'm always on top of the trends, Jubes."
Jubilee's expression was deadpan. "Captain America is dead."
"Kekekeke, and I once had an iPhone 14," Jack shot back with a wink.
"The newest iPhone is the iPhone 4," she said, her brow furrowed in confusion.
Jack just laughed, a wild, knowing cackle, and walked away. Hisako Ichiki came up beside Jubilee. "What did he say to make you make that face?"
Jubilee's face was a mask of utter confusion. "He said he had an iPhone 14."
"Didn't the newest one just come out? The 4?"
"That's what I said," Jubilee replied, shaking her head. "Anyway, let's choose which ones we should upload."
One by one, Jack began to send the X-Men home. At first, he wanted to bring the kids along for the gift-spreading, but Ororo had insisted. "They have to be in the mansion on Christmas morning, Jack," she had said, her voice firm but gentle. "And they'll be sleeping through the journey anyway."
So, Jack had reluctantly agreed. With the help of his clones and their Zephyr clouds, he flew the sleepy, happy mutants back to the mansion.
He waved goodbye as the last cloud disappeared into the distance. Beside him, Hermes and Aska waved as well.
"Ahhh, what a rowdy group of kids," Hermes said, a fond smile on his face.
"They're fun, though," Aska added, his beard crusted with a light dusting of snow.
From the side, a childish voice piped up. "Of course they're fun."
Hermes and Aska both turned, expecting to see Tenzin, who was staying with Jack. But the voice was different. It was Kurt.
"Why are you still here?" Hermes asked, his eyes wide.
Aska was about to grab him, but with a soft BAMF and a puff of blue smoke, Kurt teleported out of the way, a mischievous grin on his face.
Hermes sighed, then his expression turned to one of divine determination. He moved, a blur of golden speed, trying to catch the young mutant. But even as his hands closed around him, Kurt would just teleport away again, his laughter echoing in the cold morning air.
Jack, meanwhile, had already hopped into the sleigh, Tenzin safely buckled in beside him. He grabbed the reins.
"Well, good luck with that," he called out to the two exasperated figures chasing the teleporting blue elf. "Byeeee!"
With a crack of the reins and a shower of starlight, Jack flew away with the sleigh, beginning his journey to deliver gifts to the first half of the globe, leaving his friends to deal with their stowaway problem.
The sleigh landed with a soft whisper on the sandy shores of Christmas Island, the first stop on their global journey. The air was warm and humid, a stark contrast to the frozen North Pole.
"Just wait in the sleigh," Jack said to Tenzin, who was bundled cozily in a pile of enchanted cloaks. "This will take a long time and involves a lot of boring ol' house-breaking."
And so, Jack began his routine, a blur of motion as he delivered gifts with an impossible, silent speed. Tenzin watched for a while, then simply closed his eyes, listening to the gentle lapping of the waves.
Time passed in a montage of starry skies and sleeping cities. Between stops, Jack would talk to Tenzin, his voice a quiet, steady presence in the night.
"I'm taking you there," Jack said as he jumped back into the sleigh after delivering gifts to a small village in Fiji, "because I see you're ready." He took the reins, and the sleigh shot back into the sky. "You can just tell me if you're not."
Tenzin, his small form a picture of calm resolve, shook his head. "No, it's okay. I need to go to the holy city. It was actually the last thing the last abbot told me in private."
Jack's grin was visible even in the moonlight. "Kekekeke, you're already a big boy, huh? Alrighty then. We'll tag up with Hermes on the Himalayan mountain range. From there, we'll follow the plan. Now, rest. You'll need it."
Tenzin smiled, a genuine, grateful expression. "Thank you, Jack."
"Kekekeke, don't mention it, kid," Jack said, his voice softening. "Now, sleep."
Tenzin closed his eyes. He had the best sleep of his life, a deep, dreamless peace, even though he was on a sleigh flying through the stratosphere.
When he woke up, he was in the Headband Temple.
He opened his eyes and realized he was not in his old, familiar room. He got up and opened the window. He saw the temple, but it was… more. The whole temple was grander, bigger, its ancient stones now polished and humming with a new, vibrant energy.
He saw Jack Hou, fast asleep on the ground in front of his door, his head resting on a rolled-up blanket. Tenzin gently nudged him.
Jack startled awake, his eyes wide with a panicked, defensive energy. "I already paid all my taxes!" he shouted.
He then blinked, realizing where he was. "Oh, it's you," he said, his posture relaxing. "I was just… meditating. Now, come."
Jack stood and began to walk, explaining as he went. "Well, there was some jackass with a tail who caused a big ruckus in the temple grounds and destroyed the whole mountain. But then, a handsome monkey arrived, and with his super handsome power, he created clones and helped rebuild the temples, making them even greater."
Tenzin looked at him, his expression completely deadpan. "The destroyer and the savior were both you, right, Uncle Jack?"
Jack patted Tenzin's bald head. "You're too smart for your own good. Kekekeke." He stopped before the massive, ornate gates of the grand temple. "Should I open the gate now?" Tenzin asked.
Jack shook his head. "No. You need to talk to that so-called big brother of yours. I won't influence your judgment, so I won't say anything drastic." He looked at Tenzin, his golden eyes serious for a moment. "But just so you know, my presence here is to show you that you have a choice."
Tenzin nodded, a new, quiet understanding in his eyes. They both walked silently toward the grand temple gates.
Jack stopped in front of the grand temple, the massive, ornate doors a silent, imposing barrier. He looked down at Tenzin, his usual manic energy softening into a quiet, serious regard.
"Do you need me to be there with you?" he asked.
Tenzin looked at the doors, then back at Jack. He took a deep, steadying breath, his small form a picture of newfound resolve. "It's okay," he said, his voice firm. "I will talk to my brother."
Jack nodded, a flicker of pride in his golden eyes. He then turned his gaze to the temple doors and, without raising his voice, his words seemed to echo through the very stone itself. "Alright, you old coots! Come out and let the brothers talk!"
A moment later, the grand doors creaked open, and the elder monks filed out, their faces a mixture of fear and reverence. They all remembered him. The image of this man, standing calmly in a rain of blood, was etched permanently into their minds. They obeyed without question.
Jack gave Tenzin's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Go on. Don't be a little bean. You've got me right here."
Tenzin walked through the open doors, disappearing into the temple's hallowed halls alone.
Jack stood in front of the doorway, a silent, unmoving guardian, making sure no one would sneak in or overhear them. One of the elder monks, bolder than the rest, stepped forward.
"You give the boy too much freedom," the old monk said, his voice a low, disapproving murmur. "He will show no restraint."
Jack turned his head slowly, his golden eyes fixing on the monk with an intensity that made the old man flinch. "Are you a monk or a jailer?" Jack asked, his voice a low, dangerous purr. "You will see the young ones as human as soon as you start treating them like one." He then turned his back on them, sitting cross-legged on the ground directly in front of the temple entrance. "Now, scram. I'm going to meditate here, and I get jumpy when I'm meditating. Don't blame me if I accidentally bonk you to death."
The threat, so juvenile yet so utterly believable, was enough. One by one, the elder monks bowed their heads and retreated, leaving the entire area around the grand temple completely empty, with only a single, chaotic god standing watch.
**A/N**
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**A/N**