It was the next morning. I was walking down the street. The sky was overcast, leaving a chilly atmosphere wherever I looked. The tension I felt at that moment left me equally frozen.
My father was next to me. He was supposed to be working, but he decided to take the day off with the excuse that he 'had something important to do.' He worked less on Saturdays, so his absence wasn't so important.
He woke me up by force. It wasn't early at all; he came to wake me up at 10:00.
The only thing he said was that we were going to apologize, and after that, we'd go to my high school. Even though he only told me this once, I knew what he meant, and in turn, what was in store for me.
Considering how sensitive the school principal is about these issues, I'll probably be expelled for at least a week. No second chances.
At that time, we were walking to Otsuki's house. Obviously, I didn't want to go, but my father forced me. He still had that look on his face; ever since I woke up, he'd been looking at me with those eyes. He wasn't angry anymore, of course. It's been too long to be angry.
He was completely disappointed in me, or so he gave the impression. What did he expect, that I would just apologize?
If he hadn't told me anything last night, I probably wouldn't have listened, or I would have convinced him that I would go alone another time, but I was afraid.
I was afraid he'd talk to me like that again. I hated it when he approached me like that, so I was willing to do whatever he said so I wouldn't anger him again.
He walked ahead of me, occasionally turning around to see if I was following him. I was, as always, looking at the ground.
Last night I could barely sleep because I was so hysterical. At first, I managed to sleep a little, but I kept waking up in the middle of the night. I never really calmed down.
Even now, I'm still trembling. I feel a fear I shouldn't feel.
I was more concerned about why I'm afraid. I know I'm afraid to show up at his house in front of his mother after what I did, but I think I'm even more afraid of what might happen to me if I don't do it right.
I'm going to do it wrong, like always. I'm going to screw it up, like always. I feel like I'm taking away more than I'm giving.
Otsuki's house wasn't far away; we reached her street in no time. The unease I felt only increased, although what worried me most wasn't what they were sure to tell me.
I didn't trust myself. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control myself, but I knew what I had to do and say, and above all, I knew I had to calm down. But I couldn't.
Without giving me any time to prepare, we arrived at the door of his house.
"Come forward, you're the one who needs to apologize, much more than I am," my father said, his tone slightly cold and serious.
I didn't respond in any way, I just did what he told me. When I stood next to him, he rang the doorbell.
The few seconds it took for the door to open felt like an eternity. I was watching everything in slow motion, but I still had no choice but to stay there, waiting.
The door opened slowly. A woman of relatively average height, with brown eyes and black hair, stepped out. I assumed she was Otsuki's mother, although she was quite young for a mother.
Speaking of Otsuki, she was standing in the hallway, on the bottom step of the stairs. I assume she had come down from upstairs to open the door, although her mother arrived first. Aside from her pajamas, she had a white eye patch glued to her nose.
"Mh? Ah, you're Kenzo :2!";_¨`*, Right? Then, he must be your son. " The mother asked, with a slightly friendly tone.
"Yes. As I said yesterday, I came to apologize with my son for what he did to your daughter. Is she feeling better? " My father proceeded to inquire about Otsuki's condition on my behalf.
"She's fine. It's just a small bruise, it'll go away soon." Her mother dismissed Otsuki's injury as something minor. However, what really matters now isn't the wound, but what she's been through to cause it.
My father bowed after hearing his answer. Seeing me standing up straight, he gave me a dirty look. Understanding the situation, I bowed down next to him.
"I'm truly sorry for what my son did. I know what I'm about to say doesn't excuse his actions, but he's going through a difficult time in his life. I don't know what drove him to behave this way, even with the previous excuse. I'm so sorry—" My father was giving a monologue, trying not to anger Otsuki's mother.
She should be mad enough to have the kid who punched her daughter in the face show up at her door in the morning.
"Um." However, she cut my father off in the middle of his speech. He, in response, raised his head slightly, raising his body as well. She continued.
"Riku, have you come to apologize to my daughter?" She didn't say it in an angry tone; in fact, she was too calm. If she were my father, he'd probably be speaking in a serious tone, scolding me for hitting his son.
His question didn't have a tone of doubt, what he was looking for was to make sure of the reason why I had decided to come, beyond my father's interests.
She was looking at me. In fact, she was right in front of me. I was still bent over, looking down. My chest hurt, I couldn't speak, I felt like that pressure was crushing me, from above and below. Even before I could speak, everything started to glow.
Everything was getting brighter and brighter, clouding my vision with white. I was going to get lost, I wasn't going to make it on my own. Little by little, that place I hated so much appeared.
After looking at me for a while, she spoke again. "Don't worry. I'm not going to scold you or anything like that. To be honest, it wouldn't have much effect. At least Atsumi doesn't listen when I scold her." She spoke to me in a kind and calm tone. Maybe even friendly.
"Mom!!" From the stairs, Otsuki can be heard shouting her mother's name, annoyed and embarrassed, after she talked about how little she cared about her mother.
Earlier, the moment her mother mentioned my name, she lost interest in the conversation. I could see her expression of indifference for a moment before heading upstairs. However, at her mother's comment, she headed back down.
"But it's true." Her mother turned to speak directly to Otsuki. At her question, she could do nothing but grumble, a faint tinge of pink rising in her cheeks, "It's not like I should say it in front of people…"
My father was trying to maintain his serious composure, but the situation seemed too informal for him to continue behaving in such a refined and serious manner.
He thought it was his duty as a father. Or maybe he picked up that habit from work.
Her mother turned around again, looking in our direction. Not only did she completely ignore Otsuki's complaint, but she also blurted out another outrage.
"I don't know if your father told you my name, but I'm Haruka Otsuki. If you want, you can come inside. We can talk better if we're sitting down, and it's very hot out here."
"...?" "HUH?!"
First of all, I didn't expect to be spoken to like this, much less treated like a guest. I also thought it would be a much shorter and more superficial thing: just say a few stupid things, get told off, and little else. But if we're going to be inside, who knows how long we'll be here?
The one who was more surprised than me was Otsuki. If she was already upset with her mother's comment earlier, bringing someone like me into her house...
"This is a joke, isn't it? Mom!" She ran to her mother, standing behind her.
"What's wrong with that?" Haruka opened the door fully, as she turned around and spoke to her daughter.
"What 's wrong with that question? Your father hasn't done anything wrong, but I don't want him to come in!"
"Why not? You'll never make peace like this."
"He just doesn't want to do it! He's not even an acquaintance, so why do I have to get along with him?!"
Otsuki was really angry with her mother. She kept complaining in front of her and yelling at her. Even in front of me and my father.
"Because you haven't done well either." Her mother, just for that statement, assumed a slightly serious tone, though not too serious. Surprisingly, that alone managed to calm Otsuki down a little.
Then she stared at me. It was more like a death threat than a look. I was the fox, and she was the wolf, and for some reason, the leader of the pack was letting me into her den.
"B-but just for a while…"
"Yes, it's just a moment's talk."
That's how easily he managed to calm the rampaging bull. Some people are even talented at these things. I suppose the same can be said the other way around.
"Although of course, you have to be there too."
"Mom, please stop. I don't want to."
"If you like."
"I don't want to!"
"If you come, I'll buy you that stuffed animal of that girl with the red horns that you say you love so much."
"I'll wait for you in the living room."
After that spectacle, Haruka clapped her hands once, waiting for my father and me. "There's no one else in the house, so don't worry about disturbing anyone while we're talking."
My father, still calm, took the first step. "We're very sorry for the intrusion."
Although he still had that upright appearance, his expression was much more relaxed. Perhaps he had even gotten over his anger.
"Excuse me…" I said in a low voice, my gaze also lowered.
As I walked in, I could see Otsuki looking at me annoyed.