"No, no. There's no need to kill anyone... Wait, are we killing them?"
"If you're confused, ask like this: Is a knife needed for this matter?"
"Hmm... No. It's not to that degree."
"Then it's entirely peaceful."
At first, I was very worried about how to convince these guys, who held the common sense that water was dangerous, to even drink water after surgery...
But after hearing Liston hyeong-nim's words, it started to seem like not a big deal.
Certainly... if a knife isn't even needed, then it's nothing.
'Well... what if there's a bastard who acts up too much? Should I use a knife then?'
Thinking about it, the people who need to start drinking water from now on are those who, if they mess up, might end up losing the most important thing, right?
Even if a limb or two gets cut off, later, when they see some other bastard who lost something else because he drank alcohol instead of water, they'll be thankful.
Yeah...
"Phew, it was nothing after all."
"Right, I don't know what it is, but you tend to worry a bit prematurely. So, what is it?"
"Well... from now on, I'm thinking of making the people I operate on drink water instead of alcohol after surgery."
"What? No... why? Why would you want to torture them like that?"
It wasn't.
It wasn't nothing after all.
I've become too much of a sensible person lately, so I forgot for a moment, but this person was also a proper 19th-century doctor.
So, even the words "drink water instead of alcohol"...
It's hard to persuade him.
Of course, it'll be better than the beginning.
That time was truly hell...
Looking back, I don't know how I made it this far.
Even if I were sent back, I don't think I could do it again.
"No, Hyeong-nim. I only drink water, you know?"
"You drink alcohol too, don't you?"
"That's only when I eat meals! Or maybe some beer?"
"Right, right. That's why you're managing to maintain your health. Look at Joseph. He's sturdy, truly fitting for the son of a brewery owner. Not as much as me, but."
"That..."
"Haha. Then let's do this. Just don't give them any random alcohol, use wine or brandy. Especially brandy, it's a renowned medicine."
Hmm...
Somehow, the more I continue this conversation, the more hopeless it feels.
What is brandy anyway?
Since I'm not a heavy drinker to begin with, I don't even really know what kind of alcohol that is.
Just from the feel of it, it seems similar to wine.
These people, for some reason, definitely value wine more than beer.
Even in 21st century South Korea, wine was a premium alcohol, and it seems it's the same here.
I used to criticize people who liked wine as being pretentious, not knowing that.
For my taste, just draft beer was the best.
"Brandy?"
"Yes. Brandy. You can think of it as concentrated wine. Ah, I just got one in my lab, would you like to try it?"
"But we're on duty...?"
"It's brandy. Brandy!"
"Ah."
If it were precisely the timing for surgery, I would have stopped him regardless of whether it was Liston or anyone else.
But since it's not, I'm drinking it.
Really.
It's not because I'm being pressured.
"Gulp."
"This is good liquor, what's with the 'gulp'?"
"It's stronger than I thought?"
"I told you, it's concentrated wine? Of course it's a bit strong."
"It has a lot of alcohol in it, you know."
"Yeah, so what?"
"Ah."
Damn.
How should I untangle this?
When a lot of alcohol enters the body, the blood concentration of acetaldehyde, a metabolite, increases, and since this is essentially a poison, it's not good for the body.
Excessive drinking can cause cancer in all the areas alcohol passes through—namely the mouth, esophagus, stomach, small intestine, large intestine, anus—as well as liver cancer.
There's even alcoholic dementia...
'Shit.'
How on earth do I explain this?
It makes no sense.
While I was pondering this, our Dr. Liston continued to tell me about the efficacy of brandy.
There were quite a few, and of course, they were all shocking contents.
It seems pointless to debunk all of them...
"It also helps when a suckling baby has a fever and is suffering. But it would be difficult for the child to drink brandy directly, wouldn't it?"
"That's... true."
Children shouldn't drink any alcohol, including brandy, but I decided to address that issue gradually.
Above all, Liston's face was so serious that it seemed like I shouldn't interrupt him right now.
"But this is quite fascinating. If the mother drinks brandy and breastfeeds, the medicinal properties of the brandy pass to the baby, and it sleeps soundly."
"Ah..."
Alcohol is a substance that really permeates everywhere, isn't it?
It's obviously contraindicated during breastfeeding.
And during pregnancy too.
It's because it can damage the child's head and body...
And if you give enough to make them sleep soundly, hah.
"Um, Hyeong-nim."
There's no choice.
If it's a common sense this pervasive, ordinary talking won't be enough to overturn it.
I need to draw the hidden treasure sword I've kept for so long.
Thinking about it, things have been too smooth lately.
I mostly solved things with common sense, didn't I?
Although I did occasionally have the idea of making people eat poop to protect their health... well, since I gave the wrong hint about drinking urine, I guess it's right to let that slide.
"Hmm?"
"In Joseon, you see..."
"Oh, Joseon. That's a name I haven't heard in a while."
"Your pronunciation of Joseon has gotten better, hasn't it?"
"I learned a bit from the guy who imports red ginseng. I've been getting books to read on the side too. I wanted to get a medical text from Joseon, but that's difficult, it seems."
No, I wish you wouldn't do that.
Please, stop.
Despite having this thought, I was able to continue speaking without showing any sign of fluster.
It's not because of training received at a university hospital.
Anyone would end up like this if they came to the 19th century.
It's full of shocking things, and if you keep being shocked, your heart can't take it.
"Anyway, in Joseon..."
Moreover, right now, there's something much more important than being surprised.
Namely, fabricating a story.
To put it mildly, that is. To put it bluntly, I have to come up with a lie.
Of course, I'm now a master of lying, so the moment I paused briefly, things to say were already popping into my head.
"In Joseon?"
"They drink a lot of water."
"Really? Water... wouldn't that be something only the lower classes drink? The nobles would probably drink alcohol, I'd think."
But this is where it gets tricky. This damn Liston now even knows about the distinction between classes.
But still, he's just a British country bumpkin.
The British...
No, the Anglo-Saxons...
Isn't ignorance of other cultures their long-standing tradition?
Liston seems a bit different, but there's little use in standing out alone when everyone else is like that.
"Of course they drink alcohol. But there's something the nobles value much more highly."
"What is it?"
"It's tea, you see."
"Tea. Huh. Black tea?"
"We mainly drink green tea. It's probably from the same tea leaves. But we brew it fresh and drink it."
"They drink only tea instead of alcohol? But that's too expensive... Ha, it really is Joseon. They must be wealthy. Even for nobles, to drink tea instead of alcohol..."
"Please don't go around saying this. You know, right? The Joseon people love peace, so they aren't prepared for war."
"Haha, I know. I know that."
Alright, I've started the tale with green tea.
Judging by Liston's face, he seems to have bought it.
I didn't know I'd end up saying things like this, but I'm glad I'm in England.
The French have a much less developed black tea culture than here, and their pride in their domestic wine is excessive, so if I had spouted this nonsense there, I might have faced a revolution.
Really...
I would have met the guillotine.
There's nothing more dangerous than insulting French wine in front of French people.
"Anyway... that's how it is in Joseon. Moreover, there's a saying there."
"What saying?"
"The saying goes, 'In lands with clear water, people live long lives.'"
There probably isn't such a saying.
Maybe someone said it, but it's not like I coincidentally know it and am repeating it.
It's just a 'blatant lie,' but, well, who cares.
"Huh... Did Confucius say that?"
"Ah, no. How did you know about Confucius?"
"Confucius, Mencius. I know them all."
"But they're both Chinese people."
"Really? No... did that bastard scam me? I can stand many things, but I can't stand lies."
"It probably wasn't a scam, but they're not Joseon people. They're not people I'd be particularly eager to claim anyway."
"O-oh. I see."
So now he knows Confucius and Mencius too.
If this goes on, he might start reciting the Taekgun Dae Semundan Se soon.
By that time, I think I might have to part ways with Liston.
If all the lies I've told so far get exposed, wouldn't I die?
'No... no.'
Liston is a truly capable talent, proportional to how scary he is.
If I stick with him, whether it's London, Paris, Hangzhou, or Suzhou, they all become safe. He has that effect.
He's not just a comforting talisman for the heart; he's an actual guardian deity who smashes enemies for you.
Moreover, if you convince just this one person, other doctors are persuaded automatically—it's like magic.
It's also an advantage that his hands and strength are good, so if you teach him one surgery, he becomes better at it than me.
If I can keep him with me, I should keep him with me forever, that's what I'm saying.
'I should... get a promise from him while implanting his hair.'
I secretly glanced at Liston's head.
Whether it's because his mind is at ease thinking the problem will be solved, or for some other reason, he doesn't wear his hat much these days.
Since a surgical cap is originally worn to prevent hair from getting into the surgical site, there's not much need to wear it anyway.
The probability is probably less than half of half.
Anyway, originally, I should have fixed it for him already...
As if to prove it's amazing 19th-century London, incidents keep popping up, so I've been putting it off.
Fortunately, he believes that if my skills improve, the shape of his hair will also become better, so he hasn't gotten angry yet.
Well... it's not like he doesn't know I'm busy.
"Something wrong?"
"No, not at all. Anyway, the idea that people from places with good water live long lives is considered common sense there."
"Is it a proverb?"
"Tha... Yes, it's a proverb. But it's a proverb only known among educated people."
"I heard it was a saying containing wit..."
"It's not necessarily like that."
"Alright, if you say so, then it must be. You're an honest person, after all. Hahaha. It's not like I'd get my foot chopped by the axe I trust, right?"
At this point, I'm not sure if I'm talking to a Joseon person or a British person...
"Anyway, you're saying we should make them drink water?"
"Yes."
"It won't be easy, though."
I'm glad he understands.
Him picking up a knife is not something to be glad about.
"Why do you say that?"
"Think about it. Will they listen well?"
"They probably won't listen well."
"Think back to the time in Paris. How much did we struggle trying to make them drink water then?"
"Ah... right. Those bastards back then."
I remember barely saving them when they threw fits, insisting they wanted to die even though we were trying to save them.
Even Liston had to resort to using a knife because his fists alone weren't working well.
Well, if he hit them seriously, they'd die before drinking water, so that was partly why, but anyway.
"Right. This will be necessary. Well, don't worry, I'll make sure there's no one who drinks alcohol instead of water."
"Yes, Hyeong. Thank you."