It had to be said—Minister Bones was nothing if not bold, and she certainly knew how to invest.
Not only did she push through opposition to allocate a substantial portion of the annual budget, she also mobilised the most elite research minds in British wizarding society.
—Specifically, the Unspeakables of the Department of Mysteries.
When Jane Yu found herself face-to-face with several Unspeakables in silver robes, all wearing grave expressions, she was utterly taken aback.
"…I thought they had top-secret work in the Department of Mysteries?" she asked Minister Bones, hesitantly. "Are you sure this arrangement is appropriate?"
Before Minister Bones could reply, the lead Unspeakable spoke up—blunt and direct:
"No one 'arranges' us. The Department of Mysteries does not answer to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. If necessary, we can ignore ministerial interference altogether. We simply received the call to mobilise, thought this was an interesting project, and decided to send a few people along."
Jane noticed that his voice was oddly flat, like an AI mimicking human speech—devoid of any real emotion.
Though his words were hardly what you'd call polite, Minister Bones showed no sign of offence. She replied calmly:
"No one could be better suited to this project than them. All the most advanced magical researchers in Britain are gathered here."
The Unspeakable nodded, then extended his right hand to Jane. In that same unruffled tone, he introduced himself:
"Saul Croaker. Forgive me, but I can't disclose the details of my work. What I can guarantee is that everyone here is utterly loyal—we would never betray any of your project's secrets. If you don't believe us, we're willing to make an Unbreakable Vow."
Jane, who already knew Croaker was a straightforward sort, was still taken aback by such an offer.
An Unbreakable Vow, straight out of the gate—did Unspeakables always go this far?
But then, considering their usual line of research—thought, prophecy, time, death, love…
They spent their days toying with minds, futures, time travel, life and death, and matters of the heart. No wonder their default was a vow binding upon pain of death.
She managed a polite smile, shook Croaker's hand, and asked:
"The Unbreakable Vow won't be necessary for now, but I am curious—what made you willing to join this project? I thought the Department of Mysteries' own research would be more compelling to you."
Croaker shook his head, entirely unbothered by leaving his usual work.
"We have a lifetime to study those things. The Department of Mysteries will run just fine without us."
He withdrew an internal publication from his robes and waved it in front of Jane.
"Most of our research focuses on the logic and theory behind special magical phenomena, but we also have personal interests and ideals. We've read your past exploits and speeches very carefully."
Jane suddenly felt her toes curling with embarrassment.
Croaker laid the publication flat on the desk and, in that same emotionless voice, began to read aloud:
"Only to hear the Guardian Saint let out a cold laugh. With a flick of her wand, radiant white light erupted. The enemies fell, screaming, prostrating themselves in surrender, tears and snot streaming down their faces. Under her overwhelming presence, they dared not rise…"
A classic passage—Jane's smile faded completely.
Now she understood what her cramping toes had been warning her about.
How much longer would she have to endure this kind of social death in the Ministry?
"A rather fascinating combat scene," Croaker commented, his eyes finally glinting with genuine interest. "But I want to know—what sort of spell produces 'radiant white light' and causes enemies to collapse screaming? I suspect these are original spells of your own creation. I've spent three days and nights pondering this, unable to sleep. Is it a blinding charm? And since the surrounding furniture was undamaged, does that mean you've mastered a mass mental-affecting spell? To affect multiple wizards at once with area damage—your spell's root structure must be quite complex—"
What on earth had he been imagining?
Jane suddenly felt she couldn't make heads or tails of this Unspeakable.
"Isn't it possible," she ventured, "that it's just a bit of literary exaggeration?"
Croaker's lips pressed together in disappointment. He clearly didn't believe her, muttering:
"Perhaps it's because we haven't made an Unbreakable Vow yet…"
For the first time in her life, Jane experienced what it was like to be pursued by someone intent on an Unbreakable Vow, and she found herself at a complete loss for words.
But Croaker wasn't finished—he turned to the next paragraph and read on:
"…I only saw flashes of dazzling white before my eyes. All attacks dissipated behind her. With a gentle tap of her finger, a mass healing spell fell like starlight over my body, and I was instantly cured of all my lingering ailments…"
"Just like a game scene," he commented, his tone rising again. "In the past three days, I've cast the Severing Charm on myself more than a dozen times, just to experiment with healing spells. I tried adding roots like 'Maxima' to achieve the 'mass healing' and 'radiant white light' effects you described. Sadly, all I got was more scar tissue. What kind of spell did you develop? How do you heal so many people at once? Is this some sort of ultimate restoration spell from a game?"
Jane strongly suspected that the "radiant white light" was simply the Commissioner seeing white spots from blood loss.
"I just used Dittany and several Healing Charms," she replied. "It really was just a bit of dramatic exaggeration… You can't take these reports literally."
Croaker sighed, grave and sincere:
"This is our first meeting. I understand trust takes time, so you're not ready to answer. But I'll work hard to earn your trust, and one day you'll agree to make an Unbreakable Vow with me—and then, you'll tell me everything."
Three Unbreakable Vows in less than twenty minutes—Jane began to feel she'd developed a condition where hearing those words made her want to cover her ears.
But Croaker wasn't done yet—
He carefully produced a Magical Game Console from his robes and set it on the desk.
"Set" was perhaps generous—it was more like a heap.
Its runes and components had been meticulously dismantled, but the one who had taken it apart clearly couldn't put it back together.
"Please don't misunderstand—I have no intention of stealing your patents," he said, deadly serious. "But the runes and spells within are simply extraordinary—a synthesis of all the greatest magical achievements. I sold my house, my Flying Broomstick, and spent all my savings from years of work to buy a hundred consoles, just to study the essence of the innovation. Unfortunately, I've now dismantled ninety-nine of them and still haven't fully grasped the principles. Some of the theories involved may be beyond my current understanding."
This was a whole new level of magical obsession, and Jane was left speechless.
Selling his house and broom, squandering his life's savings, all for a little game console—
She considered that her consoles, at least, had nothing to do with gambling or vice!
"There's some Muggle technology involved," she replied. "If things settle down, I can show you around the factory. We can exchange ideas—I think you could offer some fascinating suggestions. But for now, let's focus our efforts on developing these wartime magical supplies. Please don't use Severing Charms on yourself, and don't bankrupt yourself over consoles."
For the first time since their meeting, Croaker broke into a genuine smile:
"Yes, magical researchers worldwide ought to unite! I knew we were kindred spirits—both utterly devoted to our research! In the past, so many Unspeakables spent their lives studying the foundations of magic, but never had the chance to apply it in new spells or magical inventions. You've shown us new possibilities!"
His previously monotone voice now rang with passion as he seized the publication and read aloud:
"I read your speech—every word was exhilarating! Innovation! What a beautiful word! Innovation drives development—what stirring language! We share the same ideals: to modernise ancient magic, to bridge past and future, to build a better tomorrow! To revive nearly lost spells and stagnant magical research! Just like our Unspeakable predecessor, Laverne de Montmorency, who invented the Lumos Charm and changed this dark world!"
The Unspeakables present broke into applause, their usually solemn faces finally alight with emotion.
Stunned as she was, Jane finally understood the purpose behind these Unspeakables' eagerness to join the project—
They wanted to bring years of theoretical magical research into practical use, to drive the wizarding world forward.
"Welcome aboard," she said at last, her smile now truly heartfelt. "I believe your deep magical expertise will bring forth many new wonders. This will be an epoch-making achievement—when old theories and research are put into practice for the good of all wizards, more will be inspired to join in, turning stagnant waters into living streams and ushering the wizarding world into a new era."
Croaker's eyes shone brighter than stars, as if he might faint from happiness at any moment.
"So, about that Unbreakable Vow…"
His words trailed off under Jane's fading smile, and he quickly changed tack:
"If not, perhaps you'd be willing to sign an autograph…?"
If it meant not being hounded for Unbreakable Vows anymore, Jane would happily sign a hundred.
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