In short, not a single humanoid creature in this house managed to escape unscathed.
Even Kreacher, who was lazily shirking his duties in his own den, was "invited" out to attend the grand announcement about the "twelve O's."
"A famous wizard is speaking to Kreacher. He's Miss Jane's guardian. Kreacher doesn't like it, but Kreacher will listen to what he has to say."
But the long-faced, grumbling elf soon put on a spectacular display of lightning-quick mood change, letting out a scream that rattled the whole house:
"What? The noble Miss Jane got twelve O's? Miss Jane is the most deserving of twelve O's! Kreacher should have known this day would come! Everyone believed in Miss Jane, but Miss Jane truly lived up to expectations! Kreacher will prepare a full imperial banquet for Miss Jane!"
With a pop, he vanished on the spot, and downstairs, the kitchen once again rang with the clatter of pots and pans, mixed with Mrs Weasley's startled shrieks.
This farce still wasn't over by dinnertime.
And after the socially mortified Jane Yu, two more unfortunates joined the ranks in this house—
The newly graduated George and Fred.
The joy they showed upon seeing Jane Yu was matched only by their panic when they spotted Dumbledore.
"Hey, little snake, you're finally here! Our joke shop—Headmaster Dumbledore?"
Caught completely off guard, both their voices cracked. That instinctive, primal fear students feel when confronted by the headmaster instantly snuffed out the sparkle in their eyes and wiped the grins from their faces.
Though the light in their eyes had faded, a spark ignited in Dumbledore's.
It was the hopeful expectation a headmaster has for Hogwarts graduates. After all, the Weasley children were a credit to the school: before the twins there were Bill and Percy, both twelve-O students, and Charlie, a graduate with remarkable talent for magical creatures.
After suffering a series of blows from various graduates' outlandish behaviour at the Umbridge house, Dumbledore was desperate for some comfort from his more accomplished alumni.
"George, Fred, you both seem a little tense." He smiled, beckoning them over. "Of course, I imagine O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. results aren't the only measure of educational quality for you two, so there's no need to be nervous."
The twins exchanged looks, the same odd expression spreading across their faces.
"You can be honest, Headmaster Dumbledore," Fred said, trying not to laugh. "We're not nervous. Did we pass a single subject in our N.E.W.T.s? Well, it definitely wasn't Defence Against the Dark Arts!"
To protest against Umbridge, the twins had handed in blank papers for their Defence Against the Dark Arts exam.
"If we'd passed even one subject—" George barely stopped himself from high-fiving Fred or whistling in front of the headmaster. In perfect unison, they declared, "That would be a real achievement! If we'd passed Defence Against the Dark Arts, we'd have sent Umbridge a pair of fireworks!"
The spark in Dumbledore's eyes was extinguished, his smile freezing in place.
He lapsed into an awkward silence, even the topic of "twelve O's" momentarily forgotten.
He'd known about the twins' joke shop ambitions for some time and had wished them well—
But as headmaster, it was almost impossible to offer praise when students had so brazenly thrown their exams.
The atmosphere grew chilly, so much so that Jane Yu couldn't help but feel embarrassed for everyone.
"Luckily, joke shops don't require N.E.W.T. results," she interjected, changing the subject. "Bringing laughter to people is the true secret to success."
"Quite right. Grades aren't everything—everyone has their own path." Seizing the lifeline, Dumbledore decided to offer the twins a little encouragement. "Developing your creativity and finding your own direction early on is vital for any student."
He sighed, picked up the letter, and read it over several times, as if trying to soothe his battered soul with the comfort of those twelve O's.
The twins both let out a sigh of relief, nodding enthusiastically. Convinced they'd survived their headmaster's scrutiny, they gave Jane Yu a conspiratorial wink.
But unfortunately, there was one person in this house before whom they could never bluff their way through—their mother.
She was just placing Kreacher's imperial banquet on the dining table, having overheard the entire conversation and now seething with pent-up fury.
"Wipe those grins off your faces, you shameless boys!" Mrs Weasley's eyes blazed as she slammed the dishes down and grabbed George and Fred by the ears. "Is passing only one subject something to be proud of? Two years ago you could still get an O in Defence Against the Dark Arts, but now you can't even pass—yet you're proud of it! And you have the nerve to talk about opening a joke shop? Don't you need to cast spells and inscribe magical runes on your products?"
Kreacher shuffled by with a plate of spring rolls, shooting the twins a sidelong glance and muttering:
"Miss Jane got twelve O's. If the young masters of the Black family had ever got twelve O's, the mistress would have had the results framed on the wall…"
He successfully stoked the fire, and Mrs Weasley's anger visibly shot up another notch:
"Twelve O's—I wouldn't dare to dream of it! That's six more than you two managed between you!"
Fred and George exchanged a look and protested with cheerful grins:
"Honestly, Mum, I think we should have got O's in every subject! Just showing up for the exams was an achievement!"
The next moment, the heaped plates in front of the twins flew up and landed in front of Jane Yu.
"No dinner for you! You two can sit and think about what you've done!" Mrs Weasley lowered her wand and turned to Jane Yu with a beaming smile. "Good girl, eat up. How long did you have to study to get twelve O's? You must be exhausted—have some more, you need to keep your strength up."
Faced with this firecracker version of Mrs Weasley, Jane Yu could only muster an awkward, polite smile.
She glanced at Dumbledore, whose expression was the mirror image of her own.
She tried to offer a word of comfort to Mrs Weasley, but it was clear she was beyond reasoning:
"Oh, Yu, thank you, but they don't deserve you sticking up for them. Celebrating passing a single subject… I've never seen such grades—or such thick skin… Fred! George! Who said you could sit at the table?"
Kreacher returned with a plate of sweet and sour chicken, still muttering hoarsely:
"Kreacher saw it in the papers—Miss Cissy, when her useless sons went mad, would hang them up at the manor gates and whip them. If it were the mistress, she'd be even stricter than Miss Cissy… Spare the rod, spoil the child…"
Mrs Weasley took a deep breath. At the mention of the Malfoy family's disciplinary methods, a strange sense of competitiveness flared up within her. Her gaze landed on a broom in the corner of the sitting room:
"Fred! George! Over here! I'll teach you a lesson you won't forget!"
She dragged the twins away, one in each hand, both of them pleading for mercy. In the distance, the sounds of smacking and yelps echoed through the house.
If Draco, busy playing madman at Malfoy Manor, knew about this, he'd probably laugh himself silly at the Weasleys' misfortune.
Jane Yu turned to Dumbledore, only to find him with his head bowed, lost in some internal struggle and reflection.
Thank goodness—he'd finally let go of the "twelve O's" topic.
But before long, he suddenly looked up, muttering to himself:
"Sigh… teaching quality… Defence Against the Dark Arts… getting worse and worse…"
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