"... my father?" You question quietly. Your grandmother slowly lifts up her head and softly sighs. She sniffles and sits back.
"When you were very little your mother and father lived together in the mountains... After your mother broke up with him, she took you with her and left... coming here to the city to live with us."
"..." You space out a bit after hearing that. Your grandmother rubs her eyes and adjusts herself a bit.
"I remember getting mad at your mother about it... I thought it was selfish for her to take you away from him... but your mother was so young- I wasn't helpful either... If I was a better mother I would have been able to protect her..."
"Don't blame yourself..."
"That's all I can do... If I was better... your mother would still be alive right now." She looks up, staring out the window. "Your grandpa loved the mountains... the only reason why we are here is because I convinced him that he would find more kids to teach marital arts in Tokyo..."
"... why did you want to leave the mountains?" You softly ask.
"Since I was a little girl... I always dreamed of owning my own bakery in the city... After me and your grandfather stopped having kids, I thought it would be nice to open a bakery... Hikari was just a little girl... and everyone was older... living their own life. I thought this was the right time before we got too old... I regret it."
"... you do?"
"I left all my children... and I brought nothing for Hikari and your grandfather... He didn't get students... but he stayed because I was happy. I feel so selfish." She softly sighs. You look away and frown a bit.
"Did grandpa like living in the mountains?"
"Yeah... of course... it's where we grew up." She slowly looks at you with dull eyes. "Do you think it's too late... to go back?" She asks with a sad look on her face. You slowly shake your head. She slowly nods and sighs again. "I'm so tired... Yuki." You frown and look down at your hands.
"I'm tired too..." You slowly say.
"Do you want to go home after we see your grandpa... we can make dinner and maybe watch a movie..."
"Yeah... that sounds nice." You softly say
You can't remember much of what happened that day. It felt slow but you were also so out of it at the same time. Now that you think about it... everything felt so slow. Are you that depressed? Or are you genuinely tired? When was the last time you slept... what were you even doing from the beginning.
You lay on the mat, staring towards the door of the room. Your grandmother lying beside you. She was having a hard time... same as you. You felt so tired it was hard to think. You move the pillow from under your head and hug it tightly.
The next few weeks go by slowly. Every day that you visit your grandpa you notice that he's slowly improving. Your grandmother meant what she said... about the mountains... that now she is speaking about moving back. The thought of leaving everything behind sounds scary but the idea doesn't seem too bad... to leave all the craziness behind...
It sounds nice.
Right?
Blossom season was definitely coming... the trees begin to grow the small blossom buds... you can see the white and pink showing in many trees...
"That means... the semester is ending soon." You softly say.
"Huh?" Hikari turns her head to look at you. You look back at her.
"The semester is ending soon... for school." You slowly say.
"Oh... right." She awkwardly smiles. You stare at her feeling a bit confused.
"What are you doing?" You ask as she digs through a box.
"I'm trying to find a hairclip..." She says in a stressed tone.
"What hairclip?" You softly ask.
"It's like a pretty rose gold color..." She sighs. You furrow your eyebrows not understanding what she is talking about. She sighs and stands up. She grabs a picture frame and shows me a picture of her wearing a pretty kimono and a flowery looking hairclip.
"Oh..."
"Mhm... I'm worried I accidently packed it up..."
"Aren't you staying in Tokyo... like at the bakery" you ask.
"Yes..."
"So why would you pack it up...?" You question. She squints her eyes and glares at you.
"Because I'm moving all my stuff to the bakery... what kind of question is that?"
"Sorry... I'm so tired..." You sigh rubbing your eyes. She loudly gasps and jolts up.
"DO YOU THINK I ACCIDENTLY PUT IT IN ONE OF THE BOXES HEADING TO THE MOUNTAINS?!?" She shouts in a panicked tone.
"No... I'm pretty sure its in one of the boxes at the bakery." You sigh.
"Mmm you could be right..." She says closing the box she was digging through. You tilt your head a bit and rub your eyes again. She looks at you and places her hands on her thigh. "You need to sleep if you are so tired..."
"I don't want to sleep..." You sigh.
"Well, you aren't exactly helping me like you said you would either..."
"Why don't you want to move to the mountains with us?" You ask. She stares at you a bit before looking away.
"I know I was born in the mountains, but I don't have any memory of living there... I grew up here in Tokyo, so this feels more like my home..." She looks back at you and then sighs. "I don't know why you don't want to stay here with me... we can both live with each other and run the bakery together."
"I want to finish high school..."
"I know... you can enroll into another high school here." She replies.
"I know... but I feel like moving to the mountains might be a good and fresh start for me..."
"Is that so..." Hikari looks at you with a dull look on her face and then shakes her head smiling. "So, you're going to leave me alone..." She pouts. "I thought I was your favorite auntie." She continues. You narrow your eyes and stare at her. She smiles in response. "I get it..." She chuckles. "But... you know... If the mountain isn't where you want to be... you can always come back and live with me."
"I'll keep that in mind." You softly say. She smiles and nods. She then stands up and stretches.
"Can you help me take my last few boxes to the bakery?"
"Sure..."
"AND I MEAN HELP THIS TIME YUKI."
"Yeah yeah... I know." You sigh.
You carry a heavy box down the steps, placing it in the car. The ride to the bakery is silent. You stare out the window as Hikari drives to the bakery. You still haven't told everyone you were leaving. You are afraid of telling anyone for a number of reasons... but mainly because you were afraid to disappoint or upset someone.
Would it be cruel to leave without saying a thing? Is what you thought constantly.
"Who's that?" Hikari questions as she parks the car on the street side.
"Who?" You look into the distance Hikari was looking in. An unfamiliar face... It was a boy. He has white-ish blonde hair and orchid-colored eyes. You furrow your eyebrows to an unfamiliar face. "I don't know... hold on." You step out the car and slowly approach the guy. When he notices you, he smiles. Strange... you don't know him.
"Hi..." He softly says.
"Are you here to buy something from the bakery?" You kindly ask. His eyes widen a bit as he looks through the bakery door and then towards you. You stare at the earrings on his ears. They dangle as he turned his head.
"No... actually... I'm here to see you... Yuki." He softly says.
"Me? Who are you if you don't mind me asking." You question. His smile softens and so does his eyes.
"Izana..."
"Huh?"
"My name is Izana Kurokawa... It's nice to meet you Yuki Sato"