The spilling light from outside shone over her.
That was what she saw, but not what she felt.
What was one supposed to feel when your told—'Y▓▓░ h░ve ▒ ▓a░s ░n yo▓r b▒a▓n..'
She did not know. Maybe she never would. She crystallized the notion of it, shaping it until it became nothing more than a crumpled mess.
She pushed it aside, suppressing it—the idea that it was right there, no matter how much time she had left. It would be there, and it still would not be enough.
She shoved it, again, and again.
Again. Again, again, again. Too many times to name.
Closing the gate that led to the deepest pits of her heart and spirit. Wrapping dark, freezing chains around it so tightly that nothing could escape, even if she willed it to break apart.
Burying that gate beneath the heaviest one, the one that had tried to drag her under more times than she cared to remember.
THUD~!
Brilliant light.
She looked up and saw Ikade's face staring down at her, in all of her warm presence breaking through the cold that clung to her bones.
Even if both eyes were red and puffy.
Sienna reached up without thinking.
Her hands stretched through the freezing ceiling of her thoughts.
Her own face was full of bliss and longing as she reached for the soft presence that soothed her weary spirit. Her palms cupped Ikade's cheeks, thumbs brushing over the warm skin. Her back curved slightly against the mattress, sinking deeper into it.
"What's wrong?"
Ikade's voice came out gentle, her hands closing around the trembling ones. Letting the exhausted Librei have the moment.
Sienna pulled her closer and held on like the feline might vanish into the sky. Her face pressed into Ikade's chest, breathing in her warmth.
"Aren't you a little clingy today?"
"Mhmm."
They shifted onto one side and Ikade patted Sienna's back with gentle hands. The minutes passed, and by then, she had calmed down. Her eyes drooped, and she felt like she could sleep the whole day away.
"Don't tell me you're trying to sleep already?" Her voice was teasing, playing with the tufts on Sienna's head.
"Just a couple more minutes...mom..."
Sienna answered, her voice muffled by the soft pillow.
"—!"
She jolted upright and hit the headrest with force while covering her reddened ear, huffing like a startled cat.
"Why would you blow my ear!? You cant just do that!"
Her canines were bare for all to see, her tufts puffed back like a cat's. Ikade, however, was anything but sorry, covering her mouth with one hand.
"Haha—sorry. But it's past ten already, so…"
Sienna steadied her nerves for a moment before crawling off the bed and slipping on her slippers.
She walked to the closet, pulled the doors open, and sifted through the drawers until her hands found a worn workout outfit, one cool to the touch. Sienna tucked it under her arm and headed toward the bathroom, the sound of her slippers dragging against the floor.
Thirty minutes slipped by behind the closed door—running water, the clatter of bottles, and the rush of warm air through her hair.
When she stepped out again, she was already dressed and ready for a quick workout. Her muscles had loosened from the hot shower.
The band-aid had come off sometime during the night, the painkillers had settled in her stomach, and her eyes felt fully hydrated. She returned to the bed and leaned down to look for her running shoes.
Sienna found them and sat on the mattress to slide them on.
She stood up and pressed each toe cap against the floor twice, her eyes sweeping across the messy bedroom.
"Hah..."
She snapped her fingers, and everything around her straightened at once—the clothes on the ground lifting themselves into the laundry basket, the pillow fluffing back into shape. A hair tie rolled out from under the desk and bumped against her foot.
She picked it up and tied her hair back while watching her magic finish the rest of the work.
Sienna left the room soon after and made for the first staircase beside the pantry. Walking up the three short flights, she stepped into their gym and tilted her head back as though holding a water bottle.
Water flowed from her cupped hand into her mouth. She swallowed the cool liquid, and after several refreshing seconds, she exhaled in satisfaction before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
"Since I just got back, I think I've earned a little break."
She nodded to herself and started stretching her body into all kinds of shapes, gaining a few centimeters from it.
Once she finished stretching, Sienna hopped onto a treadmill tucked against the wall, tapped through the controls and waited for the belt to pick up speed. It rolled forward gradually, the rhythm settling in while music carried the next half hour.
"Gulp…haa~"
She exhaled in satisfaction again, the last drops of water slipping from her hands while her chest rose and fell from the workout. Her legs protested from being made to do more than they wanted. Sienna stretched her body once more, working out the lingering stiffness still trapped inside.
She did not wait around after that. Sienna headed straight back to her room, and once there, she made a beeline for the bathroom. She opened the door, then peeked back toward the closet, nearly forgetting her clothes.
The doors flung open when a bundle of clothes shot toward her, the hinges creaking from the force.
Catching them midair, she shut the bathroom door and turned on the shower.
Another thirty minutes passed. Sienna stepped out while drying her hair, rubbing vigorously at her feathers to chase away the last of the dampness.
The towel landed in a lazy heap on the bedframe.
Sienna took brisk strides to the kitchen, cutting through the pantry entirely, and found the room empty except for a sticky note on the counter.
'I went out to see a few friends, I left you a snack in the fridge. Care, Kaede.'
She shrugged and crumpled the note, tossing it into the bin before turning toward the fridge.
This one was packed with drinks—rows of water, alcohol, and every brand in between. Definitely not the right fridge. She swung open the second one to her right.
Her eyes landed on a clear container labeled with another sticky note. She ignored the message entirely, grabbed the small treat, and downed it in record time without even checking what it said.
Sienna looked to her left and spotted the short passage curving right toward the staircase that led to her old bedroom. She walked past it before turning right toward the garage.
Scratch that—she dropped herself onto a beanbag in the small lounge beside the garage door instead. Two walls were lined with shelves packed with books of every kind, a laptop resting on a sleek desk nearby. She slipped off her slippers and traded them for a pair of comfortable red running shoes.
The moment she sat down, the gate rang. A screen flickered into the upper-right corner of her vision. Sienna lifted her left wrist and spoke through the bracelet.
"What is it?"
She said, her voicing passing through and out of the gate speaker.
The delivery boy glanced around before finding the camera, leaning closer.
"Uh—delivery for a Sienna?"
Something clicked in her mind and her response came out with a faint chirp.
"I'll be out in a bit!"
The screen faded the second he opened his mouth. She did not feel like walking halfway across the house, so she opened the garage door instead.
It barely lifted two feet off the ground before she slid under it, jogging toward the gate. She panted lightly when she saw the delivery boy standing there with a black crate at his feet.
His apple bobbed when he saw her. He cleared his throat into his hand before speaking again. They exchanged a few words, and Sierra signed the form. The back of her head thumped while the crate levitated onto her property.
Sienna took her happy ass back to the half-open garage and ducked under it, the door sliding shut behind her with a simple wave of her hand.
Her steps were light, almost blissful, as she crossed into her shop. The crate dropped onto the floor with a dull thud.
She flung the cover upward with a bit too much force, sending it flying toward the ceiling. Sierra recoiled instantly, her arms shooting over her head as she shrank into a tight little ball.
A dry chuckle slipped out.
Then she rose to one knee and leaned over the crate to admire her newest addition—even if its fate was to be sold.
"I could sell this to someone."
She lifted it high into the air like she had just won it. Sleek, built in different tones of grey, with a very expensive scope she was pretty sure cost more than the whole thing itself.
It had a slim angled foregrip that felt fine for the most part, along with a clear magazine she already wished had been made from something sturdier.
Sienna stood and nudged the empty crate beneath the workstation, right under the driver resting there. She moved closer and checked yesterday's leaking fitting. No green fluid seeped out this time, so she left it alone.
Her gaze shifted to the right, landing on the other driver lying on its side.
Years, huh…and nothing to show for it.
She set it on the counter and pulled out a cardboard box from underneath, stuffed with useless trinkets and two worn cases.
Her knees complained when she stood again, but she set everything on the counter anyway.
The worn driver lifted into the air and rolled onto its side—careful enough not to trigger the extinguisher. Her hands moved over it, trying to pry a bracket free.
I won't be needing this…not anymore. After we come back. I think...I'll quit.
It took several long moments of wrestling with the pins, but she eventually pulled it free and tossed it into the box.
Then she paused, thinking for who knew how long.
Her gaze drifted around the room, then toward the gear scattered nearby while her fingers combed through her hair.
"Oh yeah, sure—keep everything you never use. It's not like you've moved in two years or anything."
Sienna groaned, her head thumping just from thinking about it.
Her feet carried her around the room, nearly stumbling over the random garbage littering the floor. She sifted through all the useless stuff she had accumulated over the years.
"This isn't even mine...so I can sell this too. And this...not this."
Sienna quickly grabbed her rifle from the back wall and secured it inside the container attached to the driver. Stepping back, she yawned before taking a seat.
She leaned into the headrest and stretched her legs. Her gaze drifted to the right, settling on the driver spread across the table, already half-dismantled.
Staring at the ceiling, her mind wandered.
After the short break, she got back to work, stripping more parts from the dismantled device.
Before long, she left the garage and headed for her bedroom.
She changed into a bulky jacket painted in faded black, a grey hoodie barely visible beneath it, along with a white cap and white sneakers. The band-aids were already back on like clockwork, her necklace still hanging from her neck.
She took a moment by the mirror, checking herself over. Her reflection stared back with that familiar mix of weariness and aloofness. Sienna adjusted her cap until it sat just right, the tufts peeking out beneath it.
Her mind drifted as she walked across the house and out the front door. Her One Fifty Five was still parked out front, slick with last night's condensation.
Sienna opened the car and hopped in, the green beast already parked inside the garage since yesterday afternoon.
The engine cranked to life and she eased the car out, rolling past the gate and onto the street. Time passed in quiet pockets until she was cruising along the highway, heading halfway across the city to where her loved ones rested.
Sienna had made a quick stop at a random flower shop and picked out two lone marigolds, paying at the counter with the lovely lady working there.
Cars flowed around her in steady currents, buildings sliding by.
The wind tugged at strands of her hair while the city moved around her. She rode along until she reached a quieter stretch, pulling into a small, subdued part of town where the noise faded into a background hum.
Sienna stepped out, shutting the door with a solid thunk.
She climbed a short set of concrete stairs with the flowers in hand, her eyes drifting to the bronze lettering along the stone wall. A narrow pond wrapped around the structure, its water cold and still.
'Communal Crematorium 27'
The place was calm, but a quiet sadness hung in the air. Sienna gave only a brief glance to the others still deep in their grief. She had been the same once.
But that had ended years ago. Now, it felt more like visiting a friend who was always getting sick.
Maybe, at some point in history, everyone had their own grave.
But that was then.
And this was now.
Even in a small crematorium, they still managed to fit so many tombs—well, metal shelves with boxes on both sides—and even then, it still cost a few grand...what a scam.
Her expression dipped just a little, her ears picking up fragments of conversation—soft voices speaking to loved ones, others laced with anger. She walked on, breathing in the clean air—mostly clean air—while her gaze drifted over the handful of trees and patches of grass softening the otherwise cold site.
When she reached her quiet spot, her breath did not hitch. Her emotions did not run rampant, not even a faint ache stirring in her heart.
V.U.
Sienna closed her eyes, digging through old memories, trying to pull their faces back into focus.
But...no.
No matter how tightly she scrunched her face, nothing came.
Only a blurry mess sat where their faces should have been, leaving her hollow like a rotted tree.
"No luck huh?"
Only silence prevailed and she returned it in kind. She placed the two flowers into the small rusted holder, giving them a gentle push to make sure they stayed.
She did not have any real words left to say. You could only repeat the same things so many times before they stopped meaning anything.
A few seconds slipped by.
Sienna finally reached into her jacket pocket, her fingers brushing the ring of keys before pulling out the smallest one. She slid it into the locked box and pulled it halfway open.
Inside were two small metal urns, a bundle of dog tags, and a cliché photo, its colors washed out and warped by old water drops. The picture showed her in the center, leaning against a slim wheelchair with a cheeky smile, bandages wrapped around one arm and over one eye.
A woman stood on one side, leaning toward her—her face completely lost to the water damage.
The man beside them had once had his face covered by a harsh sharpie mark, now faded to almost nothing.
Sienna let out a soft sigh and slammed the box shut, pushing something back into her pocket.
Brrt-brrt-brrt!
She lifted her wrist, and the screen materialized with a caller ID. A familiar shit-eating grin appeared, belonging to a man with a head full of lush blue-and-white hair, his short pointed ears poking out from the sides.
Lucas sat on the corpse of a beast in his caller ID photo.
A faint grin pulled at her features, and her eyes softened. She grabbed her earbuds, popped one in, and accepted the call.
The sound of someone drinking hard blasted into her ear.
"Hey." Sienna glanced around instinctively for a bench and dropped onto one in a heartbeat. "Fiskaz."
"Don't call me that."
The man called Lucas took another long drink, followed by the sharp crash of a bottle hitting something it definitely should not have.
"Ah fuu..." A sigh rattled through the line, followed by the sound of him sitting down.
"I was tryna make th..."
He sounded defeated.
"So—" She drew in her words, leaning back into the bench. "You call me after, what, three years? And you're still drinking yourself sideways."
"Me? Drink?" Lucas hiccupped. "Nah, nah, it's just…flavored water?"
Sienna was baffled at the questioning response, having the urge to roll her eyes. "Why'd you say that like even you don't believe it?"
"Hey, don't worry about that." His voice came through patchy, slurred around the edges. "What about you? How've you been?"
His patchy voice entered her ears, no thanks to his excessive drinking, only for more to follow after some time.
"I'm doing fine. Your liver, on the other hand, is probably begging for mercy."
Lucas muttered something incomprehensible, drawing in a sad breath before his tone flipped without warning.
"Last time we all saw each other, your hair was starting to go grey." He broke into a wheezing laugh. "Pfft—heh...damn, you looked stressed."
Sienna snorted, watching people come and go. The remark stung more than she'd liked to admit, sitting with it for a moment before speaking.
"So what're you doing here anyway?" she asked. "I thought you ran off to Colombia after that. Weren't you gonna open some big-shot store? Sell people junk and stuff?"
"I did."
"So you failed."
"Whoa, whoa. Strong word choice there. I'm choosing to call it a strategic retreat."
"You failed."
"I failed..." He muttered. "It was harder than I thought it'd be, so now..." He let out another tired breath. "Now I'm doing the same damn thing again. Different city. Same stupid hustle."
"Sorry, in the front now."
He sounded like he was about to take another drink, but it never came. The chair beneath him groaned with every move.
For a moment, neither of them said anything.
Her earbuds caught the faint shuffle of him moving around, then a quiet inhale before he finally spoke.
"That old man still kicking? I don't even have his number anymore."
"Yeah, he got married two years ago. He doesn't even got his fangs anymore."
Lucas's laughter burst through her earbuds the moment she answered, loud enough to make her ears ring.
"No. Nah, come on. That grumpy bastard settled down?" He wheezed. 'Who the hell signed up for that?"
They talked for who knew how long. The weather, thankfully, had decided to behave—the clouds stretched into a dark blanket above, the wind gently blowing her hair. Her outfit fit the moment rather perfectly.
"What about the others?" He asked and this time, there was no joke in it.
"...who?"
The wind pulled at a few loose strands of her hair. She watched the water in the narrow pond shiver.
"I'm asking about them. There were almost forty of us."
"Some moved on. Some up and left and some...died."
"You still dream about it?"
"I don't remember even remember half of it." He added. "Just pieces. Noise. Someone screaming. Your face, kinda. I'd forget it too if I didn't have the photos."
Sienna interjected.
"I remember thinking we were all gonna die there."
Again, the spoke for long.
"Yup…but at this point, they're really just for scaring people."
Sienna's tone carried disappointment with a hint of irritation, their conversation drifting up into the open sky.
"I only carry one these days. Ever since they started throwing all these casting restrictions, I went back to it."
"It's enough though." She drew in a deep breath, her shoulders rising with a dull ache. "Everyone I deal with now is weak anyway. Even the dogs don't have any bite left in them."
"Well, I can imagine. Hey...we've got some room up there. It'd be a real shame if you lost your touch...though, with the way your talking now. I doubt you want to lose it."
He took a few steps somewhere she could not see and she already knew it was almost time.
"If you're ever up here, I'll be waiting. We both know I'm gonna live way longer than any of you land dwellers."
A soft chuckle slipped out of him before he swallowed.
"Be seeing you—Sienna."
"Yeah." She tilted her head to one side, watching a fowl land on a patch of grass nearby.
"See you someday."
A few seconds passed before the call finally ended. The indicator at the top of her vision—the one that jumped every time Lucas spoke—flickered once, then vanished the moment the connection cut.
"Lucas...I still hate you for not saving him."