Inside the parlor.
Lumine, settled comfortably on the sofa tallying spoils with Hu Tao, gave a small curl of her lip.
She could feel it, Aether had already left Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
It was strange, thinking about it. Before she'd found him, she'd been genuinely anxious to track him down. The moment she knew he was doing perfectly fine, all that anxiety curdled into something deeply unpleasant.
A vivid portrait of profound sibling affection.
Hu Tao scratched her head, puzzled.
"You know, Lumine, the way you and your brother get along is so weird…"
"He's not my brother! I worked myself to the bone looking for him, and there he was having a perfectly comfortable life in the Abyss, probably laughing at me the whole time!"
Lumine huffed indignantly.
Hu Tao, having no siblings of her own, couldn't quite wrap her head around it, and ventured cautiously:
"It sort of sounds like you don't want him doing well?"
"Do you even need to ask?"
Lumine looked at her with an expression of genuine bewilderment.
"For thousands of years, I fought with him every single day, precisely because I couldn't stand the thought of him having even one moment of ease!"
"As long as he doesn't die, the rest of the time, the harder his life is, the better!"
"Hu Tao, you don't have a brother, you simply don't understand. Brothers are the most detestable creatures in existence!"
"That wretched Sustainer of Heavenly Principles, why didn't she give him a proper thrashing back then?"
Paimon scratched her head and spread her hands.
"So it's like what Ryen said, when there's no danger, siblings become each other's biggest danger?"
"That's not quite it either!"
Lumine grinned.
"Aether is allowed to be doing well. He's just not allowed to be doing better than me. If he's living better than I am, I can't stand it."
"We've fought each other over ten thousand times in the past few thousand years. The current running score should have me slightly ahead."
"But that guy crawled into the Abyss in Teyvat and has been enjoying himself, and I still had to go find him."
"That won't do at all! I need to make him suffer a proper setback before I can count it as a win!"
Paimon and Hu Tao exchanged a glance at the smugly triumphant Lumine, united in their inability to comprehend.
After a moment, Hu Tao curled her lip.
"People with siblings are so strange…"
"But I, the Director, will raise my children with Ryen properly! I absolutely refuse to let them end up like you two!"
Lumine turned to her with a flat look.
"It won't help. Siblings are natural enemies from birth, no exceptions."
"That guy has been alive for four or five thousand years, and has been picking fights with me for four or five thousand years! Trust me, Hu Tao, the only solution is to have just one child with Ryen."
Hu Tao looked somewhat troubled.
"But… if I have one, and Ganyu has one, and Ningguang has one, and Lisa has one, and Guizhong has one…"
"And then Yae Miko and Jean and the others, sooner or later they'll all be Ryen's too."
"And you."
"If everyone has one, won't there still be siblings in the end?"
Lumine's cheeks colored faintly. She blinked, then grinned.
"That's why you aim for daughters! Look at Nahida and Klee, they get along wonderfully, don't they?"
She glanced at Paimon and added:
"And Paimon too. She gets along just fine with Klee and the others."
That last point landed. Hu Tao turned it over in her mind, something wistful crossing her face.
"That's true, now that you mention it… just imagining a sweet little daughter clinging to me calling me mama makes me happy already…"
"But…"
She patted her stomach with a pensive frown.
"I've never made Ryen take precautions, and we try very hard during the dangerous times, so why hasn't anything happened yet?"
"It must be Ryen who has the problem, surely. I wonder when Ningguang will manage to trick him into a check-up."
Lumine blinked, and leaned toward Hu Tao, lowering her voice.
"Hu Tao… is that sort of thing really that wonderful? Everyone looks like they enjoy it so much…"
Hu Tao gave an unequivocal nod.
"Wonderful! Very wonderful! As wonderful as spreading Wangsheng Funeral Parlor across all of Teyvat, as wonderful as, say, making Aether so thoroughly routed that he has to call you his big sister."
Lumine's eyes went wide.
"It can be that wonderful?!"
Hu Tao giggled.
"It depends on the circumstances! Ryen is too strong, like a pile-driver, honestly, so while the process is very wonderful, by the end you're absolutely exhausted."
"And if it goes on and on without stopping, it hurts a bit… there have been a few times I couldn't move my legs afterward."
"Also, "
She leaned down conspiratorially to check herself, then looked back up with great satisfaction.
"Haven't you noticed my figure's improved? It's all from Ryen's exclusive massage technique. Comfortable during, effective after."
Lumine looked at Hu Tao with something that was almost envy. It wasn't that her own figure was unremarkable, but it couldn't really be called better than Hu Tao's either, and after all of Hu Tao's recent dedication, the gap had only widened.
Aether's earlier mockery about her figure rang in her ears. Something stirred in Lumine's chest.
She blinked, and leaned close to Hu Tao's ear.
"Could you go into more detail?"
Ganyu or Ningguang in her position would have dissolved into mortified speechlessness.
But this was Hu Tao. For her, matters of this kind required no concealment whatsoever. Say what you want to say. Do what you want to do.
She promptly settled in with Lumine and launched into a comprehensive breakdown, eight major categories, twelve subcategories, sparing nothing.
A cascade of insights tumbled out one after another, drawing exclamation after exclamation from Lumine.
At the foot of Mt. Tianheng.
Lisa kicked Ryen out of bed.
He had been getting stronger and stronger, and Lisa had simply reached her limit. If she didn't rest, she wouldn't even be able to move tomorrow, never mind any discussion of whether or not she was sore.
She wrapped herself up into a cocoon with practiced urgency and began feigning sleep.
Ryen was helplessly amused, but he wasn't going to force Lisa. With nowhere better to be, he headed outside.
Yae Miko was already seated in the courtyard, placid and self-possessed, cultivating her composure. She glanced at Ryen as he emerged and said with a teasing lilt:
"Rejected by Lisa already? Poor Ryen. Come here."
Ryen rolled his eyes and settled in beside her, helping himself to her tail and stroking it with proprietary ease.
Yae Miko sighed with mild exasperation.
"There are only the two of us here. You could touch me however you liked and I wouldn't protest, and all you want to do is pet the tail? Don't you think you're underestimating me?"
Ryen curled his lip.
"I'm afraid of you eating me alive."
"But you know the tail is the most sensitive part of a fox~"
At that, Ryen raised an eyebrow. With a warm laugh, he pulled Yae Miko into his arms.
"That's just what you think. Believe me, every woman has the same weakness, no matter who she is."
Yae Miko blinked. In the next instant, a sharp breath caught in her throat and understanding arrived all at once.
"…You know, that really is true."
She scratched her cheek, murmuring with genuine puzzlement:
"Why is that, though? When I do it myself, it's never quite this unbearable…"
"And you can say things like this so matter-of-factly?"
Ryen laughed helplessly.
Yae Miko leaned into him with easy affection.
"You're hardly a stranger. What can't I let you touch, or tell you? I am, after all, your very own exclusive little fox."
Ryen's interest was piqued. He smiled.
"Then tell me, when did you start managing on your own?"
"Some time ago. A month ago, to be precise."
Yae Miko's expression was entirely untroubled.
"One day you spent the whole day rubbing my tail, and that night I dreamed about you. When I woke up, I could hear you and Ganyu together, and feeling a little soft-hearted, I thought I'd try. It worked rather well."
She added, as an afterthought:
"Also, whenever I do, I generally picture you."
Ryen felt himself go warm all over. He held her closer.
"No wonder the last king was undone. A little fox like this, who wouldn't fall for her…"
"Right now, which feels better to you, doing it yourself, or letting me help?"
Yae Miko shivered slightly and pressed closer to him, her voice soft.
"You, of course. That kind of technique, I don't have the first clue."
"Spare me. You've been borrowing restricted texts from Lisa all this time."
Ryen said it flatly, and scooped Yae Miko up in one movement.
"Come on. Time to acquire some firsthand knowledge."
Yae Miko settled quietly in his arms and murmured:
"Right now? Not that I'd refuse, but there's a place I've always wanted, with you…"
"We can wait for that. It's not as though there's only one way."
He pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, hooked his foot back, and drew the door shut behind them.
Yae Miko tightened her arms around him, radiant with contentment.
"No wonder Ganyu always says you're like a child. So that's what she means, such a greedy little thing…"
"But you'd better take good care of me. Otherwise I really won't be able to hold on much longer."
Ryen said nothing in reply, and answered instead with action.
Yae Miko narrowed her eyes.
"As expected, having a partner is so much better than doing it yourself…"
Then, abruptly, Ryen sneezed. Yae Miko's clarity returned in a flash.
She looked up at him with aggrieved reproach.
"The timing and, ah, placement of that sneeze, don't you think that was a bit odd?"
Ryen had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. A sneeze at a moment like this not only shattered the atmosphere, it rather made him look like he was inflating a balloon.
"Someone's probably thinking about me. Don't worry, watch me perform at full capacity."
Yae Miko gave him a sidelong look and sprawled out in resignation, deciding further words were more effort than she could afford.
She didn't have the energy for them, anyway.
"Sometimes," Ryen reminded her, "you can't just let the other person do all the work."
Yae Miko curled her lip, and with obedient, slightly clumsy attention, began to take an active hand in proceedings.
The freshly occupied Master Ryen resumed his culinary endeavors.
As one of the earlier worlds had once observed, the finest ingredients require only the simplest of preparations.
Cherry blossom-scented mountain spring water is, without question, the most perfect source of water.
And by the same token, the freshest seafood is the creature most beloved by foxes as a class.
Two parties in perfect agreement set about following the cookbook, preparing a dinner that belonged entirely to themselves.
In Liyue Harbor.
Aether strolled down the street at leisure, MC World milk tea in his left hand, a dozen skewers of grilled meat in his right.
Behind him, Endis had already been loaded down with bags upon bags.
Just the MC World milk, alchemical elixirs, and sundry goods alone amounted to over a dozen sacks.
Before arriving, Aether had been restless, eager to meet Ryen as soon as possible.
As for now…
He'd wait to be summoned. In the meantime, shopping was perfectly agreeable.
Liyue Harbor had so many good things. Spending all his time cooped up in the Abyss was dreadfully dull, after all.
The glittering storefronts on every side never failed to turn up something that caught his curiosity.
It stirred memories of the old days, he and Lumine, together in a technological world, browsing through shopping malls. Back then, it had been Aether in Endis's position: Lumine doing the buying, Aether doing the carrying.
That dynamic was, perhaps, not unrelated to how their relationship had evolved so reliably toward mutual exasperation.
But now…
The dragon-slayer becomes the dragon.
"A furniture emporium?"
Aether studied the large, newly built commercial arcade before him, a thoughtful expression crossing his face.
He sipped his milk tea and muttered to himself:
"If I'm going to be stationed in Liyue long-term, I ought to buy a house. Furnish it properly. And pick up a few things for the Order as well…"
"Right. Buying it. Endis, keep up!"
At those words, Endis's face crumpled. He trudged after Aether in dejected resignation.
He had come on this assignment thinking it was a plum posting.
He had not anticipated this.
Not a single good thing had come of it. Just sweeping floors and carrying bags.
He deeply, deeply regretted his choices.