The atmosphere inside Wangsheng Funeral Parlor had, after Aether and Lumine's little squabble just now, thawed somewhat between Zhongli and Aether.
Enough, at least, for the two of them to sit together on the sofa and talk.
The pitiable Endis, however, stood to one side with a broom in hand, dutifully sweeping the floor.
Don't let Aether's earlier display of childish sulking fool anyone. Whatever else he might be, he was still a prince of the Abyss Order. When he stepped out with his subordinates, was he really the one who ought to be doing the cleaning?
Aether sipped his tea and sighed with languid ease.
"How can there exist such a wretched sister in this world? I should have thrown her into the void while she was still small enough to fit!"
He said it, but it was only words.
Back then…
At least five hundred years before the two of them were even born, Lumine and Aether had been proper siblings. The elder brother caring for his little sister, the younger sister clinging to her big brother. Supporting each other, encouraging each other, traversing the sea of stars together.
But as time passed, the two of them grew increasingly insufferable.
They'd drifted, gradually, onto a road of no return.
In danger, they protected each other.
Without danger, they sabotaged each other.
Lumine had once tricked Aether into stepping onto a planet carpeted with volcanoes, and then engineered an eruption, watching without a shred of guilt as he scrambled to escape. Aether, in turn, had once dropped Lumine into the middle of a planet's ocean and watched, stone-faced, as she was chased by sea creatures across tens of thousands of kilometers.
When safe, the two of them wished nothing more than to see the other dead.
A perfect sibling bond, truly.
Zhongli shook his head. He had no brothers or sisters. He did not particularly understand this strange kind of affection.
After a moment's quiet reflection, he said softly:
"Let us speak of the matter at hand."
"You and Lumine struck a contract, that the forces of the Abyss Order were forbidden from setting foot in Mondstadt, Liyue, or Inazuma."
"Having violated that contract, you must now receive Planet Befall."
Aether stiffened slightly. He had anticipated this. He exhaled and said:
"I had my reasons. But I won't evade the Planet Befall. Go ahead."
He closed his eyes.
During his travels, Aether had encountered Zhongli no small number of times. Not friends, exactly, but familiar enough. He knew that Zhongli's Planet Befall was a subtly calibrated thing. Sometimes it meant swallowing a pebble. Other times, it meant swallowing a meteorite. The smoldering, crackling kind.
Aether suspected he was about to be flattened by a meteorite.
He waited. And waited. Zhongli did not move.
Aether's chest loosened. He opened his eyes and laughed lightly.
"My thanks for showing restraint."
Zhongli regarded him without expression.
"No. Only that the interior of Liyue Harbor is not a convenient venue."
The words had barely left his lips before Zhongli reached out and pressed a hand to Aether's shoulder. Divine power flickered, and in the next instant, both of them stood above the open sea.
Aether hadn't even processed what happened before Zhongli crossed his arms.
"Heaven Moves, Ten Thousand Manifestations."
A colossal meteorite came hurtling straight down.
Aether's face darkened. He marshaled his power and braced himself.
But Zhongli, after all, had folded in the portion corresponding to Ryen's contracted violations as well. This strike, while not full power, was easily five or six tenths of it.
The moment of contact, Aether was driven into the sea.
Zhongli watched in silence for a moment, felt Aether's breath falter only briefly, and gave a slight nod.
"Sufficient?"
Aether climbed out of the water looking rather the worse for wear, with a squid clinging to his body for good measure.
Zhongli's pupils contracted fractionally.
The strike just now had been adequate for the reprimand.
But the squid on Aether…
That was not Zhongli's doing. And so Zhongli could hardly be blamed for what came next.
With a thought, a dense thicket of stone spears materialized in the air.
Zhongli raised a finger. The stone spears rained down in a blanketing tide, all aimed at Aether, calibrated precisely to shred his clothing without landing a wound.
Aether's eyes went wide.
"Are you trying to kill me?!"
"No. Exterminating the seafood."
"…???"
That unknown stretch of Teyvat's sea that day witnessed something that, to those who saw it, must have looked startlingly like the ancient scene of Zhongli suppressing the sea archon.
Time passed. An exhausted Aether, face somewhat pallid, was brought back to shore by Zhongli.
Soaking wet. Smelling entirely of the sea.
The moment they returned, Aether walked straight for the sofa.
Zhongli flicked a hand disdainfully and deflected him away.
"Until the seafood smell has dissipated, you are forbidden from the sofa."
"...Whose fault is it that I smell like seafood in the first place?!"
Aether muttered an objection, but seeing that Zhongli was plainly not going to be reasonable about this, he gave in without a fight.
Planet Befall had seemed enormous in scale, but in truth, it had been calibrated entirely within what Aether could endure. It had left him exhausted, nothing more.
Endis kept his head down and kept sweeping. He had seen nothing.
Sitting on a stool, Aether rubbed his wrist and said quietly:
"Can we talk business now?"
Zhongli sipped his tea and gave a small nod, conjuring a shield around himself with a gesture, a barrier against the scent of seafood still clinging to Aether.
"You came to Liyue. You sought out Ryen. What were you trying to accomplish?"
Aether spread his hands helplessly.
"Isn't it obvious? It's for the sake of the world."
"You can sense it?"
Zhongli's eyebrow rose slightly. Aether said, his voice low:
"I'm nothing like a certain useless sister who lost all her memories from traveling the stars. I remember clearly."
"I can feel it, too, those things are not native to Teyvat."
"They don't even carry the breath of the Tree-and-Sea universe…"
Before he could finish, a trash can flew out of the room and landed squarely over his head with perfect precision.
"Three-point long-range throw, successful! Garbage correctly sorted!"
"It does stink in here, so the rotten turtle has finally shown his face?"
Aether's expression went cold as he lifted the trash can off and crushed it in one hand.
Endis's face fell. He shuffled over to keep sweeping.
Aether cast a frigid glance toward the interior of the room. Once this business was settled, he was going to come up with a hundred ways to deal with Lumine.
Zhongli sighed quietly. Lumine had once been reasonably sensible, if a little difficult. But now? This went beyond difficult. She was being purely, completely unreasonable.
Fortunately, it was directed solely at Aether.
"I have traveled to no small number of worlds across the years," Aether continued, "but I have never encountered a world that produced such remarkable things."
He drew a slow breath, steadying his temper, and said in a measured voice:
"I want to know, was that world connected to you by Ryen? Or was it…"
Zhongli sipped his tea and said serenely:
"Ryen is a World Master."
"Is that so…"
Aether exhaled, and something like genuine wonder moved through his voice.
"The myriad worlds hold wonders beyond reckoning…"
He caught the next trash can without looking.
"If you throw one more thing at me, I will tell Ryen every piece of embarrassing history you have ever accumulated. Every single one."
"I'll make sure he loses any interest in you completely. You can look forward to dying alone."
A brief silence fell inside the room. Then Lumine's voice came, furious and mortified in equal measure.
"You dare! If you say a word, I'll make sure you can never have children!"
The threat worked well enough. Lumine quieted down at that.
Aether snorted and reflexively moved to set down the trash can.
Then his expression darkened.
His hand had bonded completely to it.
This thing,
It had been coated in strong adhesive.
"Truly a child who will never grow up."
He crushed it with a flex of his grip, disgruntled.
Zhongli said placidly:
"Two trash cans. One million Mora."
Aether stared at him, stunned.
When, exactly,
Had the God of Contracts become a profiteer?
Truly, the world was going to ruin. All decency, lost.
Aether pulled out a pouch of Mora and tossed it over, then continued:
"I've traveled through no small number of worlds, yet never once encountered someone who held dominion over an entire world."
"And furthermore, those things carry no breath of the Tree-and-Sea universe. Ryen is not someone who originates from within it, is he."
"Do you know what the Tree-and-Sea universe is, incidentally?"
Zhongli gave a faint nod. "Ryen has mentioned it. And he does indeed not belong to the Tree-and-Sea universe."
Aether nodded slowly, thoughtfully.
"I see. Would you tell me more about it?"
"Particularly regarding the milk and the alchemical elixirs, the elixirs that restored a cursed Abyss Mage back to human form."
Zhongli made no comment on that. It was entirely within his expectations.
Something that could purge the contamination of karmic debt and the residual corruption of archons could clear an undying curse without any difficulty.
But knowing something and choosing to disclose it to Aether were entirely separate matters.
Zhongli set his teacup down.
"It is not yet the time for you to know."
Aether was quiet for a moment, then said evenly:
"But Ryen has already permitted me to come."
"He permitted you to come. He has not yet permitted you to see him."
Zhongli reached into his coat and produced a second contract.
"Ryen may or may not see you for some time. But before that, sign this."
"One reminder: if you violate this contract, you and the Abyss Order will become enemies of the Five-Nation Alliance."
"All five nations will commit their full strength to hunting every last one of you down."
Aether nodded. He was capable of reading the room.
He accepted the contract and scanned it. It contained nothing unusual, agreements to jointly oppose the Heavenly Principles, prohibitions on disclosing the details of Ryen's world, prohibitions on interfering with Ryen's plans, prohibitions on endangering the Alliance…
Glancing it over, the clauses were almost entirely a list of prohibitions.
He read every line carefully, and signed his name.
The contract split in two. Each took a copy.
Zhongli nodded.
"You may go. When Ryen decides to see you is his own affair. For now, you may remain in Liyue, but you must observe every stipulation of the contract."
Aether curled his lip.
"Already showing me the door?"
"What else? If Ryen wishes to see you, someone will come to inform you."
Zhongli answered the question with a question. He had no intention of explaining himself to Aether. Keep him here, and Lumine would start a fight with him again. Too troublesome.
Aether said nothing more. He rose to leave, then paused.
"In that case, we'll take our leave. But one last question."
He turned, and held Zhongli's gaze steadily.
"How confident are you, right now, in suppressing the Heavenly Principles, suppressing, not having Ryen kill it outright?"
Zhongli stared at the television screen without any change in expression. After a moment, he said quietly:
"Currently, forty percent."
Currently.
Aether turned that word over slowly in his mind.
"And if the Heavenly Principles will not awaken within three years?"
Zhongli sipped his tea and said with serene composure:
"No need for three years. One year from now, one hundred percent."
The corner of Aether's mouth curved upward. He nodded.
"Understood. Farewell."
And with that, Aether set off for the door, Endis in tow.
But at the threshold, Aether paused and sent Endis ahead alone.
Endis didn't understand, but he stepped forward.
In that instant, a trap woven from four elements sprang up around him. A dense lattice of wind blades sliced at him from all sides, calibrated with exquisite precision to shred his clothing completely, while leaving his skin entirely unharmed.
Endis froze in confusion. When understanding hit him, he remembered, he was human now.
This meant,
He was effectively streaking in front of both Aether and Zhongli?
Endis went pale with alarm and covered himself.
From inside the room erupted peals of thunderous laughter.
"HAHAHA! You rotten turtle! Shell's gone, isn't it? Just wait for the Millelith to come arrest you for indecent exposure, you pervert!"
Aether gave a cold laugh.
"Amateur tricks. Just you wait, I'll tell Ryen every single piece of compromising history you have. Every last one."
"You can look forward to dying old and alone. A girl as insufferable as you? Ryen will certainly have no interest."
"Oh, and you have no chest and no rear end. Ryen definitely won't want you."
The words had barely left his lips before a barrage of funeral urns came flying out of the room.
"Die already! Die die die!"
"I'm going to kill you!"
Aether snorted, sidestepped every single urn, and tossed Endis a fresh set of clothes.
"Move!"
Endis finally understood what people meant when they said: when gods clash, it's the mortals who suffer.