Chapter 19: Quiz Quiz a Wiz!!
"Now then, my dear. Which kind of owl is commonly used to deliver the post in Britain?" Xenophilius asked as he leaned back in his chair, shuffling through a small pile of note cards.
Luna rolled her eyes at the question. "Barn owls, Daddy. Are all of these going to be so easy?" she asked with a small smile, her gaze wandering in wonder.
The old journalist chuckled as he shifted about in the plush chair. His eyes darted around the room as he sifted through the stack of cards in his hands. The house never did change. Piles of papers, scrolls, and books on esoteric material lay in heaps and chaotic messes. He smiled, a small warmth rising from the familiarity of it. Shifting his crossed eyes back to the note cards, he smirked as he found a good one.
"Who is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor for the 1992–93 school year?" Xeno asked with a smirk.
"Daddy, that isn't fair!" Luna snapped, jumping a little from her seat in surprise and protest.
"Well, you wanted a harder question, and I gave you one. Besides, the staff list came in the mail yesterday." Xeno answered with a hint of smugness.
"Well, you didn't give it to me!" Luna huffed.
"Oh, right…" He spoke in a tone of remembrance. "I knew I forgot something yesterday."
"Where even is it, Daddy?" Luna asked.
"I had it in the pile on the table." Xeno said matter-of-factly.
"You mean the one we burned in the fireplace?" Luna asked, her tone souring into "I'm done with you" energy.
Xenophilius gave a small, warm smile to his daughter. "Oh, give it your best try. You might even be right." His smile grew wider.
"Professor Snape." Luna answered matter-of-factly.
"You are not correct." Xeno replied in the same calm tone.
"Well, how was I supposed to know that!?" Luna snapped.
"Honey, if he had been the professor this year, I wouldn't have let you go." Xeno answered. "I would have home-schooled you."
This caught Luna off guard. "Y-you would have?" she asked.
"Of course, dear! You seriously think I'd subject you to that kind of horror?" He replied with a big smile.
This drew a smile out of Luna, and she soon sat back down comfortably. "Alright, Daddy. Give me another question." she said chipperly.
"Of course. Ah, here's a good one. What is rumored to live inside the Chamber of Secrets?" Xenophilius asked.
Meanwhile, at the Burrow
Harry cocked his head in confusion at the note card. "The Chamber of what now?" he asked, tilting his head.
"Gin-Gin, why do you love this man?" Mafalda asked confusedly, turning her head to look at her cousin.
"Quiet, you!" Ginny hissed.
"Stuff of nonsense, that's what it is, Potter." came Percy's voice from behind the couch.
Ron, determined to make a statement, piped up. "Treasure troll!" he shouted.
Harry looked back at the card, then at Ron. "No." he replied simply.
"Oh, Floo Powder!!" Ron groaned in exasperation.
"Those are goblins, Ron. And Percy, sit back down!!" Ginny scolded as her older brother paced the room dreadfully.
"No one really knows. All we know is it's something the founder of Slytherin had. I think his name was… Saliva Slytherin." Mafalda droned in a bored tone.
"It's Salazar, you potato-brained peasant." Percy scowled, sitting down at the end of the couch.
"You're one to talk, you posh black leg." Mafalda shot back.
"Well then… technically Mafalda's correct, so point to her." Harry said, jotting it down.
"What are the scores?" Ron asked impatiently.
"In last place, the twins with two." Harry explained.
"You mean they both have two?" Ginny asked.
"No. Anyway, Ron is second-last with ten." Harry checked his notebook.
"Better than I thought I'd get. I was sure the Mandrake question would sink me." Ron sighed.
"It nearly did." Harry retorted.
"Wait, what?" Ron asked in panic.
"Next up, twelve points to Ginny." Harry continued.
"Not bad. Could be better." Ginny said.
"The only reason you're in third is because your boyfriend decided not to play, knowing he wouldn't do well." Mafalda added bluntly.
"He is not my boyfriend!!" Ginny screamed.
"Well, I am a boy. So does that mean we're still friends?" Harry asked obliviously.
Ginny blushed deeply. "Yes… yes we are." she replied sheepishly.
Percy scoffed and turned to Mafalda. "You Midland moron, that's not how math works."
"What do you mean, Piss-Pants Percy?" Mafalda asked in genuine confusion.
Before Percy could respond, Harry spoke up. "Why do you call him that?"
"According to Charlie, Percy didn't finish potty training until he was five." Mafalda laughed.
Harry fought back a laugh, but Percy cut in. "Second place is clearly me."
"Um… no. Mafalda's in first with fifteen points. You only have thirteen, Percy." Harry corrected.
Percy's forehead erupted with veins, equating to three seconds they all had to live. Before Harry could intervene, Percy exploded.
"How is this big bulbous buffoon winning by two!? I'm only one point ahead of Ginny and three ahead of Ron!! This is a lie! A bold-faced lie, Potter! You're rigging this for that meat-headed mutton!!" Percy roared, face tomato red as he leapt up.
Harry looked away, desperate to avoid Percy's glare. From behind a chair leg, he spotted Scabbers. For just a moment, he swore the rat rolled its eyes—something it should not have been able to do. His attention snapped back as a smack rang out. Mafalda had slapped Percy hard across the cheek, leaving a red mark.
"Anyway, next question." Harry sighed, pulling a card. "How many staircases are in Hogwarts Castle?"
"Sixty-nine." Fred and George snickered.
"That's wrong." Harry replied. The twins snickered harder until Percy glared. "What's so funny?"
"We'll explain when you're older." George said.
"You always say that." Ron scoffed.
"'Cause Mum would have our hides." Fred countered.
"Anyone else want to try?" Harry asked.
"That is easy! It is one hundred and forty—" Percy began, but Mafalda cut him off.
"One hundred and forty-two!" she called.
"Damn it, woman!!" Percy shrieked.
"Correct! Point to Mafalda!" Harry said.
"You should be quicker on the draw, Pissy-Pants Percy." Mafalda teased.
"Last question. How many players are on a Quidditch team?" Harry asked, pulling the final card.
Percy was about to answer when a chorus drowned him out.
"TEN!" Ginny, Ron, Fred, and George shouted together.
"…Well then. Points for all of you. That puts the twins at three, Ron at eleven, and Ginny tied with Percy." Harry finished tallying.
Percy sat in stunned silence as Ginny turned to Mafalda. "Why didn't you answer?"
"You know I never cared about the sport." Mafalda replied.
"Oh yeah, you're afraid of heights." Fred said with a grin.
"Broke the old practice broom, she did." George added.
"Shut up, you two!!" Mafalda snapped.
"Well, with sixteen points, Mafalda wins." Harry announced.
Percy began to shake, veins bulging in his face. Without a word, he stood, drawing everyone's eyes.
"You mean to tell me I lost to Mafalda? Tied with Ginevra? The twins broke the rules for a joke! And Ron—Merlin knows what he did but probably cheated!" Percy raged, face beet-red.
"I didn't do anything, Percy! I just answered the bloody questions!" Ron shot back.
"Quiet, troublemaker!!" Percy snapped, pointing at him.
"At least it's not me this time…" Harry muttered.
"That's it!" Percy roared, grabbing his wand and flipping the coffee table with Wingardium Leviosa. "I quit!!"