Chapter 18: Begun The Prank War Has…
"Ginger lips! Where did you put the glitter!?" Mafalda called out to her cousin, as she wrangled desperately with a large balloon.
"It's Ginny!" Said girl yelled back indignantly.
"Didn't answer the question, you ginger prat!" Mafalda shot back.
"You're a ginger too, Mafalda!" Ginny pointed out.
"No, it's rosé! Get it together, gingerbread!" Mafalda replied.
"It's Ginevra-I mean, Ginny!" Ginny yelled back in frustration.
"That's your birth name? Sounds kind of cool." A familiar male voice said from behind Ginny.
"You will not speak of it!" Ginny snapped, turning to look at the source of the voice.
However, when she wheeled around to face who said it, she saw Harry standing in the doorway. Soon her throat closed up and instantly felt a cold sweat fall over her body. Her head began to swim as Potter's words bounced around her youthful mind. Before a truly bizarre noise escaped the girl's tightening throat.
"Oogh!" Ginny let out, uttering a squeaking gasp of shock.
"Um… was this a bad time?" Harry asked awkwardly.
"N-No! Not a bad time! Not a bad time at all! I completely don't mind you knowing my embarrassing first name…!" Ginny nervously stammered, trying to find her mental footing.
"Uh huh. I see. Well, if you don't want me to call you that, I wouldn't." Harry replied.
"Hey, Gin Gin, it sounds like you're strangling a Squank in here." Mafalda asked as she walked up behind. "Oh, hi Potter."
"Oogh!" Ginny let out again, jumping a bit and turning to look at her cousin. "Mafalda! Don't do that!"
"Don't do what?" Mafalda asked, giving her a knowing look.
"Sneak up on people like that! Honestly, it's like you just Apparate in out of nowhere!" Ginny snapped, trying to get her nerves under control.
"Is there something going on, or are you just fighting?" Harry asked, quirking an eyebrow at the two Weasley girls.
"It's nothing, Harry! Mafalda's just looking for the glitter!" Ginny quickly told him, trying to get her cousin to leave.
"Wait…" Mafalda murmured, before stomping her foot. "Blast it! The twins beat us to it!"
"They what!?" Ginny asked in disbelief.
"Can you two give me an explanation already!?" Harry asked frustratedly, causing the two girls to look at him.
"It's an annual prank war between us and the twins. Though those cheating blighters somehow got Ron involved this year." Mafalda explained.
"That sounds like a big mess to clean up afterwards." Harry replied, skepticism leaking into his tone.
"It always is. And, per Article B Subsection N Amendment I of the Weasley Family Prank War Bylaws, each team is allowed to bring in one outside member for the war." Ginny told Harry.
"I wanted to call it 'phoning a friend,' but these weirdos said that was too American." Mafalda chipped in.
"Have you found anyone to help you yet?" Harry asked curiously.
"Not yet. We asked that Garrett boy if he wanted to join, but he didn't believe he could make it." Ginny sighed in frustration.
"If only there was another strong, powerful, intelligent young wizard who could help us in our time of need?" Mafalda asked coyly, smiling a sickly-sweet smile.
Ginny growled in anger and grabbed Mafalda by her scruff to pull her back. "What Mafalda is trying to say is… would you be willing to be our third member, Harry?" She asked, looking at him with a smile.
"Um… sure? I finished the chores already." Harry replied.
"Harry, we keep telling you to stop doing that!" Ginny told him exasperatedly.
"I don't like doing nothing!" Harry shot back, his hand shaking.
"All right, Cinder-fella. Relax." Mafalda told him playfully.
"Don't you mean Cinderella?" Harry asked.
"No." Mafalda simply replied.
"Okay, what do you need me to do?" Harry asked, steering the conversation.
"Get your hands on some newt tails, a Hippogriff egg biscuit, a box of eagle egg custard pies, and a vial of viper venom." Ginny told him.
"Okay! … Where do I get that?" Harry asked.
"We know a girl. Let's just leave it at that." Mafalda replied mysteriously.
"That doesn't sound promising…" Harry nervously answered.
"Like Mafalda said, we know a bird. We'll get our top girl on it." Ginny replied.
"... Who?" Harry asked, confused.
"... Top. Girl." Ginny and Mafalda simultaneously said seriously, narrowing their eyes.
"I'm not getting a straight answer from you, am I?" Harry sighed in defeat.
Unbeknownst to the three of them, around the corner someone was listening to them. Ron scowled at everything he heard, and what was about to unfold. Clenching his hands into fists, he frustratedly stomped the ground before storming off towards the twins' room.
"'Course you know that this means war." He muttered as he marched up the stairs.
He stormed up to the twins' door and took a deep breath. Then, with all his might, he kicked at their door. Despite his best effort, he lost his footing when the door didn't open, and he fell flat on his back. Gritting his teeth in pain, he grabbed his sore foot and ankle. Fred and George opened the door and looked in confusion at Ron lying in the hallway.
"Ron? Is something the matter?" The twins asked, a bit concerned.
"I'm here to enlist!!" Ron roared through the pain.
The twins looked at each other. "Should we let him?" Fred asked.
"Article A Section 6 Subsection Q: 'Any family member can enlist in another team without being counted as an outside member'." George pointed out.
"But he tried to kick down our door." Fred retorted.
"Harry's been recruited by Mafalda and Ginny!" Ron pointed out.
"Welcome aboard!!" Fred and George said in unison, before pulling Ron into their room.
Meanwhile: At the Lovegood Residence
Luna Lovegood lifted her eyes from the issue of the Quibbler she was ready suddenly. Her silvery eyes darted about the room frantically, as if looking for something. When she didn't find what she was looking for, she let out a sigh before impatiently tapping on the plush couch she sat upon. Before she could return to the Quibbler issue she was reading, a male voice took her attention away.
"Luna dear! Is everything alright in there!?" The voice asked.
"Yes, daddy! I just got the feeling that someone was vaguely mentioning me! And badly!" Luna replied.
"Don't worry dear! I understand! I get that feeling so much I just ignore it." The voice replied.
"Daddy, how is the Nargle search coming?" Luna asked, putting a hand under her chin.
"I've called five leads this morning, and not a one replied! The nerve!" The voice replied with great annoyance.
Luna sighed before putting the issue of the Quibbler on a side table. She then walked down the hall towards a small study. Propping the door open with a lead block, she stepped inside. Before her there was a room stuffed to the ceiling with papers, esoteric books, and other scraps of arcane literature. A large, mahogany desk sat at the other side with an old, saggy chair in front of it. A mane of white hair was draped over the edge as she heard furious scribbling with a pen from the other side of the chair.
"Daddy, you should probably take a break. You've been up since three AM." Luna said worriedly, putting her hands on his hunched shoulders.
The man behind the chair let out a deep, exhausted sigh. "I'm sorry for worrying you, my dear. It's just… I felt I was so close this time on the Nargle lead." The man said, leaning backwards into the chair.
"Not even the great Xenophilius Lovegood gets every Gander." Luna replied.
"Oh, don't start using my own sayings against me now." Xenophilius sighed before beginning to chuckle. "How about some rounds of Exploding Snaps?"
Luna let out a big, toothy grin at hearing that. "That sounds lovely Daddy. I'll go set it up!" She replied, before nearly leaping out of the study in excitement.
Xenophilius couldn't help but sit there and smile as he collected himself. His gaze turned to the only part of his desk kept in order, with a small picture frame standing tall. In the frame were the three of them standing, smiling for a photo with a witch standing with them while nine-year-old Luna stood between the two adults. His eyebrows furrowed as he was hit with a rush of sorrow. The witch in the picture looked remarkably similar to his daughter, and he picked up the picture frame, cradling it in his hand.
"Don't worry Pandora. We are doing fine." He muttered to himself. "You taught us one thing before you were ripped away from us. Our time in this world is too short to not try and enjoy it."
Gingerly he set the picture back down and brushed away a few papers from its proximity. Then, with a relieved groan from the old chair, he stood up. Then, just like his daughter, he practically leapt out of the room to go join her.
Back at the Burrow
The guns fell silent as the last of the two side's pranks ran their course. A fresh coating of glitter sparkled in the afternoon sun from what little came through egg-caked windows. The couch had miraculously, and unplanned, was attached to the ceiling, with no one knowing how to get it down. Several gnomes were pinned across the wall by a storm of pins and needles, while Scabbers had his tail caught in a snare, and dangling over the waste bin. Nothing in the room lay untouched, as Ron and Harry lay in the center of the living room exhausted.
"Is this how it usually goes?" Harry asked Ron, panting heavily.
"Usually there's more pranks involving toenail clippers." Ron replied, wiping sweat off his forehead.
"... is that a good or bad thing?" Harry asked.
"Well, it means less things we have to pull out of the walls." Ron answered.
Before the boys could continue, they were cut off by Ginny and Fred frustratedly coming into the room. They soon heard the echoes of George and Mafalda arguing in the kitchen over both of them having the same idea for a prank.
"Well?" Ron asked.
"Unfortunately, after tallying things up, we have to call it a tie." Ginny sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"All that… for a tie?" Harry asked dumbfoundedly. "What did we even use the viper venom for?"
"It was for color." Ginny answered cryptically.
"Well at least this year it didn't get cut short." Fred sighed. "If mum caught us, then we'd surely hear it…"
"WOULD ANY OF YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN WHAT YOU DID TO MY HOUSE!?!?!?!?" A voice screamed out from behind them.
To everyone's horror, standing before them was Molly Weasley, with an expression of absolute fury painted across her face. Shivers went down each of their spines, as Fred attempted to smooth over the situation.
"Um… to be fair, mum… we took half of it outside this year…" Fred nervously replied.
"FOR ALL THE BLOODY GOOD THAT DID!!!! YOU SIX ARE GOING TO CLEAN THIS MESS UP!!! AM!? I?!? CLEAR!?!?!?" Molly roared at them with demonic wrath, clearly not in the mood for shenanigans.
In the ensuing silence, they all heard a knock at the door. Ginny rushed over to open it. To everyone's surprise, Garrett stood in the doorway wearing a face mask and lugging a giant travel bag. He then took a step into the house before speaking.
"Sorry I'm late. I wanted to make sure I had everything… what happened here?"
Ron slowly sat up from the floor. "Run! Save yourself!" He whispered harshly.
Molly glared harshly at Ron before smiling a sickly-sweet smile at Garrett. "Garrett dear. How wonderful of you to join us. Please, come back later. Harry, be a peach and get the cleaning supplies please. You six have a lot of work ahead of you." She told them with the most disgustingly, sickeningly sweet tone.
Shuddering at the tense atmosphere, Garrett cast an apologetic look to the six before quickly turning in his heel running, his damaged leg doing nothing to slow him down.
"Now then. Get to it!" Molly yelled, causing the six to scramble.
Grabbing cleaning supplies, the six worked for the rest of the day to repair the damage and clean the Burrow without any magic. Despite the hard, backbreaking, and grueling work, Molly knew that it was going to happen again next year. She just hoped beyond hope that they would just tone it down a bit.