Now the woman, Lila, had begun to look angry and almost appalled at her past self as she seemed angry and hateful towards her next words.
"I'll tell you for what I have done it." she made a pause, almost as if she had trouble voicing the next few words, her eyes now burning with a raging fire hidden deep within her milky pupils, her fists now clenched, both now brought back down and in a rather normal position, the lab coat now smitten with dirt and layers of blood for some reason, quite a terrifying spiel for Avere to be forced to witness, but he was quick to understand that it was just her, her blood, her excrements perhaps even, that was just her death, after all, through so many heavy impacts, many things could happen within the body, especially when one numbed all sensation.
"I did it for nothing, nothing at all, I did it for only myself, not for others." she looked at him, expecting an answer, or perhaps a idea to that ideology of hers, something he was not able to give, mostly because he still didn't even entirely understand her ideology, she had simply not given him enough intel, and right now, he was also a bit stupefied by basically having died through fire and being whipped, not that she seemed to mind it after all this time.
Though, what he didn't know, was that she had had to experience it all over again when she had showed him the book, as she did every single time she gave the almanac to anyone, as for that person to view her life, a lesson, a teacher, she was an instructor of stories told of only herself in many a way.
Yet, Avere knew that he had to answer, Rondel with, though, once again, he didn't realize it, Rondel taking the lead, having experienced many such situations and being relatively experienced, simply hopping into the conversation she was trying to start.
"In many a way I guess that is true..." he said, agreeing with her as even he was not entirely certain what he should do right now, where she was going with her, relatively competent, reasoning.
Lila looked dismissive at the answer, fairly disappointed, perhaps understanding that he really didn't even understand what he had just been saying, what he had just answered, though at least it seemed to correlate with what she was trying to insinuate.
"Tell me, what is the reason for which one does something for anyone else?"
Avere thought for a moment, but he began talking, his mind already running with a multitude of ideas, forgetting for a moment that he had just been whipped, the pain perhaps being neutralized by something within him that was absorbing the experience of the fire and the whipping he had experienced, that something being Arges who hungered for such new experiences.
"There are many reasons for which someone would do something for somebody else, aren't there?"
This time it was Avere who didn't even wait for an answer to his question, quickly continuing further, the ghostly woman dressed in the lab coat that had now begun to flutter once more, as if it was somehow alive, not even making any show off trying to answer, just as he hadn't either.
"There is love, when you want someone to be doing good and be with them for a long time" it had been the first to come to mind, the superlative of liking somebody after all, " there is when you just like someone and you want to help when they are in difficult situations."
He made a small break and looked down at his feet, dressed in thick leather with reinforced tips at the end, blackened and barely noticeable, the reason he hadn't seen them before, seeing a kind of belt even there where he had put his feet into them.
God! Why were there so many belts on this outfit?!
Nevertheless he said his last point, taking a small breath before and being quite calm the entire time.
"You just want to do something good."
This time, unlike the previous ones, the woman smiled brightly, and he slowly began to understand what she wanted to insinuate as he remembered the reasoning he had given each time, the reasoning that someone wanted to do something...
His heart grew heavy as he slowly understood.... somet-
"EXACTLY!!" She sounded exhilarated and full of energy this time, though the second part had been true for this entire conversation up to this point.
"Every kind thing we do is not for someone different, it is for ourselves, so why do we do it when it is just for our own egotistical wishes?" she laughed, slightly crazed, not making much sense, but still, Avere could see her reasoning, be it that she was not entirely clear yet, something that she was however quick to clear up as she brought her head down, stared deep into his soul for a fracture of a second, and began to talk calmly, as if the conversation had been completely switched for something else.
"Every kind thing we do, every little deed we do, is for ourselves, is because we THINK we have to do it, because it has been forced onto us, the very BELIEF that we have to do those kinds of things to be accepted into society, so why is it that even those who have no more society are still kind?" she slightly tilted her head at the last question and brought her upper body close to his face, her height and the position of her face not entirely making sense when put next to each other.
But now Cades answered her question.
"We do kind things because we are afraid of what will happen if we don't..."
Avere looked at her, seeing a wide grin and a head that was now almost tilted by over ninety degrees, giving him the feeling of a wise old owl playing tricks for treats, though, he knew people once that would have done exactly the same, not that they were alive anymore.