It was terrifying to watch the massive being, covered in countless chains that made up it's body, dark metal slithering and pulsating with violently burning violet flames hidden underneath, barely visible where the eyes should've been, barely present where the mouth should utter sounds, but not because of the appearance.
Kirgun, as he was thinking of himself right now, was despairing because he knew that that thing was him, it was Cades, it was his previous self, how he had seen himself, and he knew the chains, he knew what they were meant to show, the chains, countless, myriads, uncountable numbers, all to show the lives lost on ehetria, the pain he had gone through, the flames he had burned people with, the people he had killed, the monsters, or rather, animals, he had killed, often intelligent at that, these chains, each one, represented something that had been holding Cades Kirgun back, something that Cades now carried, something that he, Kirgun, though that name was more so temporary than anything else, had let go of.
Then, was this how Cades Kirgun had been seeing himself, was this how he had been seeing himself, as someone burdened, as someone with heavy purpose, cursed to do so until the day he died, his only real sense being the task of getting revenge, was this all there was to him.
Had Cades Kirgun truly been seeing himself as a monster ?
He didn't have to guess, that was certain, he had truly been seeing himself as something that was not quite Ehetrian, not quite him, he had been seeing himself as less of a being than many others, so much so that he had begun to think of monsters as normal as well, perhaps healthy from other's eyes, but he had been raised as to see them as evil creatures after all, indeed, he had been seeing himself as a monster, a horrible monster that would kill anyone in the blink of an eye if it ever felt the need to do so, and worst of all, perhaps he had even been right.
And so, this place was him, this place was Cades Kirgun, so why had he no rule in here, why was he cursed to be killed by his previous self, if dying was even possible in this accursed place, a place he was simply not able to understand, a place that was as impossible to understand as Cades own thoughts, thoughts that he had long since lost control over, thoughts he had lost reign over, ever since the accursed wooden world, ever since he had died, for lack of a better term, ever since he had killed the dismembered head of the only person he had called his friend, even if only after the deed, in the forsaken realm he had been in at the time, the realm he had probably not even truly left, it was as difficult to understand as the attempt to understand oneself.
Still, the being might look like a monster, but it was still, in the clearest visible way, Cades, it was still someone that he knew far too well for his own good, after all, there was no one that knew Cades better than Cades knew himself, though this Cades had lost his sense as Cades, if that made sense in any way.
However, this also meant something, it meant that, just as Manug had talked with him, just as the pillar of inspiration had managed to cam himself down, he would be able to communicate with Cades, or at least, he thought it would be wort a try to attempt to communicate with himself, to try and be, for lack of a better term, honest with himself, and clear the differences.
Especially when one considered that the alternative seemed to be the option of being ripped apart by chains and replaced by the subconscious, a being that had no real experience controlling the body, but that didn't really matter, after all, he already knew what Cades was thinking, he had been Cades for a long time after all, seventeen years of experience, he knew what he was planning to do with control over the body.
He had been travelling for a long time now, suffering, fighting, constantly in danger, constantly in fear of dying, every second of the day, but he always knew something, hidden deep within himself, he knew that he would not be able to live with himself if he truly gave up on avenging himself, and still, he did not give up on that goal, he planned to fight still, to prepare himself, to get stronger and crush whoever it was that was guilty, to help others in this realm, if only as a means to gain strength, and he knew that once he escaped, not if, once, then, he would be a real threat, no matter who it was that cause the fall of ehetria, no matter who it was that had been the cause of his parent's death, no matter who it was.
Still, he had let go of the feeling, it had become more of a goal, a logical goal, undriven by feelings, at least right now, his head filled with clarity after being freed from his shackles, the shackles worn by the creature in front of him, and perhaps because of that, the being believed he had given up on avenging it's parents, Cades believed that he had become just like Mangel, that he had given up and stopped trying.
And just as he had reacted to the words Mangel had uttered back then, he felt anger boiling within the chained Cades, he felt the intent, the same intent he had back then, though he felt that he was only, truly, able to admit it after all this time had passed, after looking back at it, having killed many more beings.
He knew that, just as he had tried to kill Manug back then, Manug not even caring to try and talk, Cades would kill the one who had given up, he would kill himself, he would get rid of the failure, he would hope for the other Cades to succeed.