"Johannesburg, South Africa"
CniDaria-24
"I want my own happiness kifo"
I was at the bar drinking when I saw him. Green eyes, caramel skin, and built like a god. He was in a suit that only James Bond could pull off better than him. We made eye contact, he smiled, and started walking towards me. I sat and wondered what he would say to me as he approached. What words would he use to make me melt? How would he show his intelligence?
"You're more beautiful than the sunset on the water in Venice"
He did it, that was beyond my expectations. He reached out his hand and I reached to take it. Before I could grab it his wife took it. Unaware that I was even there or that I was so entranced by her husband. He was never looking at me, he had eyes only for her and she only had eyes for him. I was just the single pathetic woman by herself at the bar. This sucks so much! Why am I depressed? Why am I getting down on myself? My brother is getting married! Fuck this depressing shit! I might say that to myself but the thought always creeps back up in my head. You are the oldest. You are the one to be married and start a family first.
"You must be a pretty shitty person to feel jealousy at your little brother's wedding." I looked beside me to see who was speaking, A skeleton sat next to me enjoying a drink. I look down at my own drink confused. Kifo[1],(how I like to call him) never spoke in person before. I must have drunk way too much. I looked back at him to see him with his drink up to his mouth or whatever you call a mouth that doesn't have lips. I wondered why an angel would even drink if the liquid just slid down your spine and black cloak. "I can see this form is freaking you out a bit, maybe I should get with the occasion at least." Putting the drink back up to the hole in his skull, lips, chin, flesh, and hair started to form around it. He started to look more human except for the reddish grey eyes. But the all black tuxedo he fashioned for himself instead of the cliché black death robe was a good touch.
"Well don't you look dashing." I started to drink again maybe to trick my mind that this was all normal. "What's the point though? Not like anybody else can see you. Why bother to try and look 'human'." He put his glass down, looked down at it for a minute and then looked back at me. If you ignored the color of his eyes then he made himself a very handsome body.
"For you of course, I see a friend struggling. So what is a true friend to do other than come and keep that friend company?"
"Friend huh? What have I done I wonder to be graced with such a friend? I doubt anyone can say they have the angel of death as their friend." He just laughs at my sarcasm. Damn it this is getting uncomfortable; his smile is making him more attractive. I'm way too thirsty for me to lust for a bag of bones.
"No not many at all." He picked his drink up again and indulged himself. there was a moment of silence. A moment where I wrestled with a burning question that I've wanted to ask since he appeared all those years ago.
"Why me?" He stayed concentrated on his drink for a second or two. Then he looked me in the eyes.
"You fascinate me. Simple as that." Kind of anti-climactic. I actually expected him to tell me that he was just keeping close, someone like me would be marked for death sooner rather than later. A long story with his interest would have been nice but he just sat there drinking. I stayed silent thinking of what about myself fascinated him so much. He is death personified but there must have been other humans that have caused this natural phenomenon as much or even more than I ever have. As I thought of people that he would have showed himself to, he started to speak again.
"I guess you're wondering why the fascination. You have probably guessed that there have been others with your stats. Your brother is up there. A genius, the man with the plan, the guy hell bent on making a new world… Boring! Seen it before. Hitler was the same, but he was more of a loser than your brother. He didn't get his hands as dirty for one thing and he had a fixation on one group of people didn't make any sense. People like your brother don't survive long no matter how skilled or smart they are. I guess that's where my interest in you begins. The life that you've led has been a thorny one. You are up there with the greatest murderers of all time, skill-wise. Achilles, Alexander, Mordred, Khan, Napoleon, Jack the ripper, Capone. Those were really interesting guys. The best however are people you've probably never even heard of. Everybody I named had a known purpose but you; you do it not for yourself, not for this master plan you believe in deeply, not even for your brother like you like to tell yourself. No, you do it because you don't know who you are. If you didn't kill you wouldn't have any direction. Murderer, the best killer alive; that's the label you should cling to. I know you already agree. It best represents you. Big sister? Nope, Thylonius moves without relying on you. Doctor? Nope, can't be a real healer when you have inflicted ten times more pain. Lover? Nope, not enough real experience. Friend? Nope, the only one you have is me. You always feel like you have nothing to look forward to in life but my friend I'm here to tell you. Stick with me and one day I'll disappear. One day you'll be me."
By the time he was finished tears ran down my cheek. He was right and he knew me best. I closed my eyes and imagined myself under a waterfall of blood, meditating trying to find meaning in my life through the pain and other lost souls of others. I never was all that passionate about changing the world. I indulged Ty's plan because he wanted to do it, not because I agreed. I kept doing the assassinations because I was good at it, because I felt powerful doing it. I was never remorseful for my actions. I just feared getting caught. Deep down, I knew the truth. I enjoyed playing with people lives. My anxiety came from preserving my own life and when the inevitable time came where I would have to stop playing executioner. I smiled a bit as my last tear fell down my face. Accepting the truth of who I was felt a hundred times better than lying to myself. Someone else saying it out loud made it all the better. That smile turned into confusion again however. What did he mean that I would be him? I turned to ask him but he had vanished. I looked around wildly for him but he was nowhere to be seen.
"CniDaria!" From outside the bar and into the lobby Nick had called out for me looking handsome and ready for the rehearsal dinner. I got up feeling the liquor as I walked over to him. Once I got to him I leaned into his chest and gave him a hug. He responded with a warm embrace. "Ready to go to the dinner?"
"Yes but can we walk around outside towards the ballroom. It's on the side of the hotel but I don't feel like going through the building to get to it."
"But it's raining?"
"I don't mind, the rain calms me"
"As you wish moto maua." I flinched and he definitely felt it. I haven't been called that for years. It brought bad memories, Ty never dared to call me that. Rightly so because if he ever did he would be on his back screaming in agony. Though when Nick said it there was warmth in it. I felt I daresay, love from it. We started walking outside with an umbrella so we wouldn't get our clothes or hair wet. Downtown Johannesburg was beautiful under the lights the rain just enhanced its beauty all the more. Being back on this continent made me very happy. It wasn't home but it was closest we've been since we first met Lucius. I cozied myself closer to Nick so that he would hold me as we walked. Instinctively he wrapped his arm around me. "You OK?"
"Yes, it just no one has called me that since Lucius. It shook me for a moment." He gave a look of horror.
"I'm so sorry I didn't mean- "
"It's ok, I used to hate when he called me that with a burning passion but when you said it felt different. I liked it. It reminded me of when I was a little girl and I was with my father. Happier times." I always think of those times as genuine even though it was most likely a façade put up by them. It didn't matter the love and happiness I felt then was real to me.
"I'm glad I made you feel that way. You guys never really talk about your parents or Lucius. All I know is that your parents passed when you were young and that Lucius adopted y'all soon after." I looked up at him and he didn't avoid eye contact. I guess he wanted me to talk about them but I didn't take the bait. I changed the subject.
"Do you think this is the one for Ty? That she will make him happy?" He looked at me hard for a couple of seconds with a blank face. I guess he wanted to talk about my parents and guardian rather than my brother's future. He finally gave up and answered the question.
"I think Thylonius found something in Nala where he could calm himself. A place where he's happy and not isolated. I feel like he isolates himself from me and you periodically for reasons unknown. With her its different he wants to do right by her and she wants him to be the best man he can be. Both wants is how it should be. So I think they're perfect for each other." I'm glad to see his best man understands Ty to this extent. He keeps the people closest to him at a distance so he doesn't risk them harm. For him to let Nala this far in must mean she does something positive to him. Unfortunately, the biggest secret has yet to be revealed. Will this all work if she knew the whole truth and the real truth. I'm almost certain Nick wouldn't be here, the boy scout that he is. Does Nala love Thylonius enough to ride with us? The jury is still out I'm not convinced going either way.
We finally arrived at the ballroom. Nick reached for the knob to enter but I stopped him. He looked questioningly at me. Staring at with his eyes made me melt again.
"So, who's the Nala you hope to find for yourself one day mister-" He leaned in and kissed me deeply. We embraced each other for a full two minutes. Only stopping when we heard Ty on the loudspeaker starting the rehearsal.
"Did that answer your question?" I smiled and blushed at him as I walked forward inside. What a smartass.
[1] Translation Swahili- Death