Yeah so heres a thing, you all played Amo*g us right? The game where there are imposters and you have to vote them out to win. Yeah so I met, no i talked with a guy named Elijah, and we started talking for a long time, like I couldn't talk for long, but i could spare one and a half hour since i had to study for my medic exam.
So we started talking and the conversation was good. Not deep or flirty , but there was always an edge that I didn't like.
We talked about our birthdays, our subjects. He was a commerce student, in 2nd Yr or smth. We talked from 11:30 to 1:30 or sometimes from 12 am. It was like that for three days. We talked about how oue fathers don't appreciate our mothers' cooking. He said my father always complained about the more salty the food was, and I told him my father complained how less salty the food was. Ironic I know. Everything i used to text "hahahahaha" or "XD" he would say, "oh you are smiling" or "u r laughing" and I was , then I would say yes, and then he would say "good" or smth. I'm sorry, but these are quite hard for me to remember even if It was just in April.
We talked about our favorite childhood shows.
I told him about Ren too. Yep I told him about Ren. Becoz for me, he was behind a screen , not in front of me, that meant that he doesn't know me personally , and I don't have to worry about what he would think either. I told him how Ren was a rude guy. And he didn't have to worry bcz it became an ex crush as soon as he became my crush. Lie. It was for 2 yrs. It all started in 10th grade, Shifu, used to tease all the time. And I fell for that. And it ended in 12th grade.
Yeah so as I told him about Ren, he said.
"Well now I can take his place for you" it was dangerous.
And I told him so. He apologised. We kept on talking and talking and on the first day, as I said goodbye, he invited me back into his game lobby, and I went, bcz I was free I guess. I asked why he won't let me leave. "It just feels like I want to talk to you more" and I don't want to leave, he replied
I told him I needed to sleep.
2nd day, as I told him about my favorite show Oggy.
He said " I can become Oggy and you can become my Olivia"
Dangerous. I said. He apologised again.
It felt good to have a friend, male. But there was a burning heaviness jn my chest.
I'm sorry but I don't think I want to revisit those memories,
I told Anu to text him on insta and tell him that I can't keep talking to him, on among us bcz my little sis also plays on it. And if my father found out that I was talking to a boy online, he would not only cut me off of internet, but also my mother and my sis, and he would take away my phone. I apologised over and over. He understood. And said he would never forget his good friend. I want to tell you more but its hard. I'm sorry .
He called me kind when I apologised for lying about my real name, he reassured me, when I told him, that there was a guy saying he will find me and meet me one day, he was asking for me to meet somewhere near my home address. So Elijah told me he wont find me, bcz I didn't gave him my personal info. It all happened on the 2nd day.
I ended it. The sooner the better. He said it was alright, and that my father was just protecting me.
And comforted me saying its better to leave, than having uncle find it out. I felt terrible for leaving . Bcz i knew what it felt like, when the person that you find comfort in,eaves you. But he was understanding and he said goodbye bye. .
And said, that you should be glad uncle doesn't know. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to have this. She's right.
And yeah, this is all, I wanted to tell you in more detail but, the heaviness returns everytime I remember that time. So plz forgive me. And thank you for reading this. Do tell me if you have a crush or if you had someone like Elijah. Share anything you want to , I promise I don't judge, nor do I gossip.
Good day :)