Carla Brown remained standing in place, staring at the closed door, as if his shadow was still painted there.
In that moment, she realized she had never in her life stood before a child with such depth of mystery.
Usually, teachers can understand their students' motives, no matter how twisted. They can say: This child wants appreciation… this one seeks revenge… this one is running from loneliness…But Neil?She wasn't sure whether he was seeking power, testing the limits of human beings, or killing a part of himself with every step he took down this path.
She raised her hand to touch her cheek in an unconscious gesture.He had said it with startling bluntness:
"As long as they're willing. No one can grow without pain."
Perhaps that sentence alone summed up his philosophy… and explained why Adam and Krista now seemed older than their years.
He was creating a world of his own… a world with no place for innocent childhood or passing games.
And she whispered to herself in a low tone:— But… what future will this create?
She sat slowly behind her desk, her head heavy with thoughts she couldn't arrange.
She remembered Adam… that broken boy no one could reach through his trancelike detachment.And she remembered Krista… the way she watched Neil's every move, as if she drew the meaning of her existence from observing him alone.
In her mind's eye she could see what they might become years from now…Perhaps terrifying fighters.Or perhaps ghosts searching for something they could never reach.
A sharp tightness seized her chest.She feared she might have allowed something far beyond her ability to control…
She reached for her small notebook, opened to a blank page, and wrote at the top:
"Note: Monitor the development of Neil Cross… with Krista Lenz and Adam Ethan. Possibility of intervention if necessary. Psychological danger is no less than physical danger."
Then she closed the notebook with a slightly trembling hand.
She felt that what had begun with them was no longer simply the training of children… but an experiment with no known end.
DawnAdam woke before the sun had risen. His sleep had been neither peaceful nor deep.He opened his eyes slowly, stared at the cracked gray ceiling, and began counting the cracks one by one.Nothing usually woke him except that emptiness gnawing at his chest with every breath.
He sat on the edge of the bed, head tilted forward, his long hair covering his pale face.He thought:"How many more days must I endure this existence?"
Then he rose without enthusiasm, changing his clothes mechanically.He put on his school uniform, though he no longer cared whether it was clean or not.
Before leaving, he stopped before a picture of his mother.He looked at it for a long time, with eyes that held no tears.He said in a voice no one could hear:— If you hadn't died… would I still hate everything like this?
And he left.
Morning at schoolHe entered the classroom late, many eyes turning toward him, but he didn't look at any of them.He sat in his seat, placed his arm on the desk, and rested his head upon it.Carla Brown paused for a moment, watching him with that old, familiar worry, but he didn't lift his eyes to her.
Krista's voice, as usual, carried a hint of shy enthusiasm.Neil's voice was calm, laced with hidden coldness.As for Adam… he remained silent, lost in himself.
When Carla asked the students to write down their goals, Adam wrote a single word on his paper:"I don't know."
When he handed it to her, his eyes met hers, and she saw in them that sickly indifference she now knew well.She said nothing.
RecessHe sat in a corner of the outer yard, alone, watching the trees.He no longer felt the beauty of nature nor its harshness. It was all the same… things that moved and then died.He pulled a small piece of bread from his bag, took one bite, then threw it to the sparrows.
He watched them pick at the crumbs.He thought to himself:"Even the birds know how to keep living… why can't I find a reason?"
AfternoonAfter classes ended, he didn't go straight home.He wandered along the dirt roads.Whenever another student passed by, he lowered his head so he wouldn't have to exchange greetings.
In a deserted corner, he sat on a large rock, watching the sunset.He remembered his mother's voice long ago saying:"Adam… don't let the darkness swallow you."
He gave a short, dry laugh, as if it came from someone else's mouth.
EveningHe returned home, took off his shoes, and sat on the floor without energy.He stayed there for a full hour without moving.Then he rose slowly, prepared himself a cup of water, didn't drink it, and left it on the table.
In that moment, he remembered something… or perhaps imagined he remembered:"Maybe… if I killed Neil… I'd find meaning for this day."But even that thought was just a fleeting spark in the ocean of desolate silence inside him.He wasn't sure of anything anymore… perhaps this was just another illusion, like all the others that had collapsed before the first passing breeze.
He sat in the shadows, away from the candlelight, watching his fingers tremble. His body shivered slightly—not from cold, but from the contradictions tearing at him inside."Do I really hate him… or am I just trying to find an enemy to hang my failure on?" he whispered to himself.
Neil's name echoed in his mind like footsteps in an empty hallway.The memory of his smiling face, his passing words, his fearless gaze… all these things had ignited something inside him he couldn't yet understand.Was it envy? Jealousy? Or a deep desire to see him fall, shattered as he was now?
Outside, the rain tapped slowly on the windows, as if the sky was trying to remind him that time was passing.And with each drop, the thought rooted itself deeper:"If Neil falls… maybe I'll fall with him… and maybe… just maybe… I'll finally be free."He wasn't sure.Maybe it was just another illusion… like everything else.
NightHe lay down on his bed.His mind kept resisting sleep.Every few minutes, that gloomy thought returned:"I'm not like anyone here… I don't even know myself anymore."
He closed his eyes, tasted a tear that slid to the corner of his mouth, then smiled faintly, without any real feeling.
And so his day ended:No small victory, no rest, not even complete despair… only continuation.
MorningCarla Brown entered the classroom carrying a stack of documents in her hand, her features marked with a seriousness the students weren't used to. They exchanged silent glances before all turning toward her as she set the papers on the desk and looked at each of them in turn.
She spoke in a clear, steady tone:
"Listen carefully… I have an important announcement that will completely change your schedule."
A heavy silence settled; even Krista raised her head with curiosity, and Neil sat more attentively, while Adam kept staring out the window without expression.
Carla took a small breath, as if carefully choosing her words, then continued:
"Tomorrow morning, you will all be moving with me to the royal capital. An official decision was issued yesterday by the Royal Council… students will be selected from four commoner villages that were damaged in the attack carried out by that masked man three years ago. Our town is one of these villages."
The students exchanged short whispers, some appearing nervous, others excited, while Adam's gaze remained empty.
She gestured to the papers before her:
"You will be provisionally registered there, and you will all stay in a lodging house for students until the records are verified and the acceptance invitations are issued. You must be patient and orderly, as the procedures may take days."
Then she looked at them sternly:
"This exam is exceptional—never before has a commoner entered the Royal School this way. Consider it a rare opportunity and bear its responsibility seriously. I want each of you to prepare your bag tonight, and we will meet here at sunrise to depart."
A light shiver ran through the room, while Neil stared at his desk in deep thought, and Krista's expression mixed tension with curiosity, while Adam didn't move except to whisper a barely audible word:
"…the capital."
Carla took a slow breath and concluded:
"Remember… this is your chance to prove who you are. Prepare well."