When did I start flying? When had I made my way back to Angels Cove and to my room? Everything felt like a blur. My heart was beating outside of my chest, my mind was fuzzy, and I was still shaking.
I slammed the door shut. Casper had made his way onto my bed, eyes looking back at me with concern. But I could not focus on him, I couldn't even focus on my own breathing-
Calm down.. calm down!
I gritted my teeth, feeling about ready to throw up. I had sunk down on my knees, holding onto my head; it felt so hot under my skin.
All I could think about was Janus—her presence calming the raging storm inside my head. I remembered her touch, her voice, and the soft floral scent that surrounded her. I recalled the way her hand held mine and how her lips kissed my skin as softly as feathers, sending butterflies fluttering inside my body. Everything about her—the bright love in her eyes and the gentle flutter of her wings—felt like a comforting blanket covering me.
I hadn't realized it yet, but I must have passed out.
When I opened my eyes again, it was dark. I was back in that dark abyss. I looked around, feeling my legs give out until I was floating in mid-air. I gulped down the air caught in my throat, closing my eyes until my heart rate was calm.
It was okay. I was okay here, and I knew I was safe.
I would always end up here when I slept with Janus next to me. I knew she would do this and put me in a safe place, so I was okay here.
I can let the emotions go, let the anger and regret go free.
I was okay.. I was safe.
—
. . .
She felt the pull almost instantly. The sting in her wings, the feeling like something had dropped inside her gut.
The Mother Goddess looked at the other goddess with concern; she could just feel the switch in the other's body. "Janus dear, are you okay?"
The Gate Goddess took a shuddering breath, attempting to calm her mind enough to respond. "I am, Terra," she said, forcing a smile as the pull grew stronger. Standing up from the table, she caught the attention of some of the other goddesses who were conversing with one another. "I apologize, but I must leave."
"Right now?" Minerva was the first to question. "This is more important than an angel, Janus."
"Do not say that." Janus quickly snapped, a little more sharper than she intended. All eyes of the goddess looked to her, concerned with writing some of their expressions. Janus felt the tug grow; pain was felt at the base of her wings that she ignored. "I apologize. But this is more important to me."
Minerva stood, her wings opening slightly to appear bigger than the other. "More important to you, sure. But is it more important than Heaven itself?" Her eyes glowed, frustration evident.
Janus said nothing, the pain growing along with her concern for Vienna.
The pain was longer than usual; it had not lasted this long before.
Something was wrong.
"I must go," Janus said, moving to leave the meeting. But Minerva stood in front of her, not allowing the older goddess to move away from her.
"This is more important than her." She said, the purple in her eyes growing brighter as her emotions grew higher.
Janus understood that fighting was not an option with the goddess; she was older and wiser. He realized that the best approach was to de-escalate the situation. Although the Attendant Goddess held the title for being the most burdened, she was still more mature than Minerva.
"I understand your concern, Minerva. But I must. I will be quick."
"This is getting annoying!" Ballona bellowed out. She was standing as well, staying behind the Gate Goddess.
The one between the two held back the urge to roll her eyes. She had to leave, but it would irritate the goddess.
The pain grew, and Janus felt restless.
"Minerva, Bellona. Let Janus go, the meeting is almost over anyway."
Terra, the Mother Goddess, stood, trying to calm the others down. She kept a concerned eye on Janus, noticing how the other was trying to contain herself.
Laetita stayed seated, looking at all of the goddesses. She felt out of place, so the joyous goddess stayed out of it.
"This has gone far enough. Don't you think so?" Ballona walked past Janus, her gaze searing into the other. She stopped, staying beside Minerva, who she towered over. "Janus needs to choose one or the other."
"Beg your pardon?" Terra breathed out, her body seized up at the words.
Minerva reopened her eyes, the bright purple glow now piercing Janus's golden eye. "Ballona is right. Janus must choose—Heaven or Vienna." With a subtle smile, Minerva looked up at him. "What is it? Is Vienna truly more important than all of Heaven? What about all the other angels, the cupids, everyone else?"
Janus stared back at her, unable to open her mouth to respond. She was angry.
So angry.
"This isn't how to solve this problem, both of you cannot-"
Ballona reached a hand out, rudely shutting the Mother Goddess up. "It has to be done, something at least." Ballona crossed her arms. "It's me and Minerva against you; do not make this harder than it has to be."
Terra shot a glance at the Euphorian Goddess, catching the others' eyes. The happy goddess tore her gaze away, looking down and away from everyone. The Mother Goddess sighed in defeat, standing a bit closer to Janus in an attempt to reach the other.
But she was too far away.
"Janus. I am sorry." She let out the soft end of her wing, coming out to touch her own, so the other goddess could feel her thoughts, her emotions.
As she had thought, the Gate Goddess had mentally fled to Vienna. The pain she felt subsided once the little angel was safe. Janus reopened her eyes.
She looked back at the other goddess, pushing back her apparent frustration in all of this.
"Alright. Let us finish this meeting."
Ballona smiled, pleased, and Minerva hid her slightly shocked expression. She let her tense muscles loosen, finding the situation somewhat tiring.
She's never felt tired before. Or even scared..
That new angel was the reason for her findings. Something was off about her; something was wrong with that angel.
"Thank you." Minerva walked past the taller goddess, sitting back down in her seat, and the other goddesses soon followed. It was back, she took back control, and now she could finish this meeting.
After finishing the meeting, the Attendant Goddess stood and bowed to the other goddesses before everyone was dismissed. The Warrior Goddess was the first to teleport away, returning to the arena where she always trains. The Euphorian Goddess followed, flashing away to find new opportunities for parties. The Gate Goddess was next; Minerva couldn't guess where she had gone, though she suspected it might be either Vienna or one of the gates.
This left the Mother Goddess, Terra, remaining seated, her body tenser than usual. Minerva could sense why the normally cheerful goddess seemed reluctant to speak, and she felt an uneasy tension rise at the sight of Terra looking so different from her usual loving self.
Every time Minerva was sad, stressed, or overthinking things. Terra would always be the one to make her smile, stand beside her, and give her flowers.
Minerva couldn't help herself; she walked past the large table, the light from the tall windows illuminating the empty room. The only hint of life in the space was with Terra, who had curled up in her chair, resting her hands on the table where they once were.
Nature always followed her..
"Terra?" She spoke out her name, making the other look up from her sulking. Terra could not even smile back at her; the flutter of her wings fidgeting behind her made Minerva tense up. "Is this about Janus and that angel?"
"That angel is named Vienna, honey," Terra responded gently. She turned her head away, wings drooping down. "That was unnecessary."
Minerva pursed her lips, tightly curling her fists together. "I have to disagree. Have you not noticed the weird things following behind Vienna? Everything is going on-"
"Not everything is because of her." Terra looked at the other, bright forest green eyes, narrowing. "You know that."
"Of course, though I have to wonder if it's all connected.."
Terra's lips formed a line. "You cannot be assuming that, Minerva." She let out a sigh, her tense shoulder dropping and her eyes growing soft. "The Lord Goddess is not connected with her."
"What if?" Minerva growled, "What if Terra? That goddess is the vision of chaos!" The Attendant Goddess felt her wings bristle. "Vienna is a problem. We all know that-"
"No, we do not." Terra stood, looking down at the other, who did not falter under the soft goddess's gaze. "She is not a problem. She is an angel. She has been through pain, and our purpose is to heal her, and that is what Janus is doing."
"Janus is doing much more than that," Minerva smirked, knowing she was right.
Terra could do nothing but solemnly shake her head. She was disappointed in Minerva, as well as in the changes to her fellow goddesses. Even Janus.
"All I know is that Vienna might be a danger." Terra opened her mouth to speak, but Minvera quickly contained. "It's not until she breaks something of Heaven that we can do something about it-"
She was interrupted by the sharp echo of footsteps and the flutter of small wings, causing both goddesses to turn their attention to the exit. Cherubs appeared, opening the door where two cupids stood, one cradling a small child in his arms. The cherubs bowed respectfully before explaining, "These cupids wish to speak with the goddesses about a possible problem."
The goddesses shook off their previous worries and focused on the cupids. It was rare for them to be interrupted by cupids or angels discussing an issue.
Both tall goddesses concealed the trembling in their wings, with Terra quickly stepping forward to calm the atmosphere. She sensed the anxiety radiating from the cupids; the air was thick with their fear, which she needed to dispel. Slowly, she managed to soothe the little one in the cupid's arms, lulling the child into a peaceful sleep so that both cupids could focus on the matter at hand.
Minerva placed her hands in front of her, straightening her back and giving the two her attention. "What is the problem?"
The female shook; she looked uncertain and fearful. Minerva grew impatient, holding back her voice before speaking louder.
Terra stopped her, crouching beside the couple and smiling warmly. "It is okay. Tell us what the problem is."
Rue let out a shuddering breath, Brick close to her side. "Something.. something happened in our cove with some of the angels." Minvera perked up, wings building up with curiosity. Terra gently patted the others' backs, calming her scent with her own floral one. "An.. an angel had struck another."
Terra felt herself stiffen; the calming attitude she had frozen for a split second before she reasserted it. She could hear Minerva let out a sigh, stepping closer as she could do nothing to stop the others' heightened voices.
"Who?"
Rue gulped, guilt in her eyes before she spoke up. "V-Vienna. She struck another angel…"
. . .
—
I woke up back on the ground, the same place I had passed out near the door. My back hurt, my face felt hot and stuffy.
I was not happy to say the least.
I groaned as I stood up, shaking slightly. Casper looked at me, whining for my attention. I patted his head, grateful for his support as I steadied my wobbly feet. "Thanks, bud," I muttered, feeling the stiffness and soreness in my wings from my awkward sleeping position.
I wiped my hands under my eyes; they were damp from dried tears. My tunic was disheveled, with feathers stuck to it. Because of the tears, my hair was plastered to my face and must have been a mess since I had slept on my side, making it all bunched together.
My body felt terrible, but the sleep I had was not. I had to stop myself from desperately looking around. I was hoping to find Janus, but I was alone.
I shouldn't feel hurt by this. Janus is a goddess, of course; she is always going to be busy.
I had no right to be hurt about it.
The Heaven Pup in my room let out a yip, pawing at my knees. I smiled lightly, rubbing his head as I apologized for how I acted. I had scared him, the way he hid behind Bridget. The look on her face, on all of their faces-
My wrist buzzed, drawing my attention down to it.
Usually, I would get excited at the thought of going to the session, only I felt tired and annoyed. I didn't want to go; I felt so stiff and still irritated. I could go back to my bed and sleep, allow Janus to bring me back to that safe place where I could sleep all of my worries away-
No. I can't escape this. I chose to be a Warrior Angel, so I have to do this.
I wasn't going to fight either way, and Ballona was obviously not going to choose me, so I can rest and act like I am watching. Yeah, I could use more sleep.
As Casper and I started our journey, I noticed that my armor felt heavier than usual, as if it were slowing me down. I knew I was going to be late to this session—not excessively late, but enough to earn a scornful look from Arden. That didn't concern me too much, so I didn't rush. I couldn't, anyway. My wings were stiff, and flapping them up and down to stay in the air was becoming painful.
I made my way to the arena, and I caught sight of Ballona choosing the next fighters. I settled beside Arthur, and the angel gave me a questioning look at my late arrival.
The Warrior Goddess didn't even glance in my direction, unlike Arden, who shot me a pointed look. I decided to ignore it and leaned back against the seat as Casper settled his head on my lap. Axel took a seat beside me, a hand resting behind him, and he looked slightly concerned about my late arrival, much like Arthur did.
The fight unfolded quickly. I kept my eyes closed the entire time, resting against the seats while I listened to the battle taking place in the arena. Once it ended, the Warrior Goddess began calling for the next two volunteers. I didn't bother raising my hand; I wasn't in the mood to fight, nor did I expect to get chosen anyway.
A few images flashed behind my closed eyes. It was sudden, causing me to jump away from nothing.
Blood, my own blood on my hands. I had done it myself, cutting deep enough to kill me.
Dawson, his face looking back at me with disappointment.
He was disappointed in me…
I coughed out a rushed breath, pressing my hand against my neck to feel the heat. It then traveled down to my wrist, where I rested my fingers to feel something. I raised it to see nothing, no blood, nothing.
"Vienna?" Arthur called for my attention. I found his concerned eyes looking at me, and I could just hear his thoughts. "Are you okay?"
How many times have I heard that? Over and over again-
"I'm fine!" I burst out, seizing my wings up.
Arthur flinched, taking a few seconds before he mumbled an apology and looked away. I turned from him, crossing my arms with my nails digging into the skin.
That was unnecessary-
"You're obviously not good." Axel decided to cut in, sitting closer to me.
I rolled my eyes, huffing out a sigh. "That is none of your business," I growled, warning him, "Stay out of it."
"I'm sitting right next to you. How can I not voice some concerns over your outburst?"
I raised my voice to give a clearer warning. "You chose to sit there! So why don't you just stay out of this?" The male puffed up his wings and glared at me. I glared back, my anger igniting within me. "Don't you have any friends? No one else to bother, so you have to pick on me? You're really annoying."
He smirked, hurt evident in his eyes along with irritation. "Oh- I'm so sorry that I'm concerned for a jerk like you."
"Watch it!" I stood up, causing Casper to jump from my lap. Eyes all around us followed me. Arthur stood up beside me. "You are the jerk here! You had gotten punished more times than I have over losing control of yourself-"
"Enough Vienna!" Axel stood, looking down at me with hooded eyes. "You can't even control yourself, for goddess's sake! You have no control over your own emotions-"
Before I could stop myself, I drove my elbow into his chest, knocking the man over. I stood above him, my wings bristling and my eyes fixed on him. I growled, trying to summon more complexity and depth to my intent in an attempt to cause him some pain.
"Vienna stop!" Arthur grabbed me from behind, moving his arms under my own to pull me away.
Casey helped him; Caspers' concerned yipping was swallowed away by the voices all around us.
I didn't look away from him; my gaze remained fixed on Axel. The warrior growled, shifting out from beneath me while pressing a hand against his chest, where I had inadvertently dented his armor. I hadn't thought I was strong enough to do that.
"What is going on here?" Arden appeared with her enormous wings, pushing Axel and me farther apart. "You both know better than to start fighting after being punished for it. You know better, Axel." She shot a glance at him, and he looked down, bowing respectfully and offering an apology. Arden then turned her intense glare on me. "Not only are you late, but you started a fight without permission?"
I shrugged myself out of Arthur's grasp, knocking the small male into Casey's arms. "He wouldn't shut up."
"That gives you no right-"
"All this pent-up energy, huh?" Ballona cut Arden off, appearing in front of us. Everyone turned their heads, slinging their wings and heads down.
I did not.
Ballona looked me up and down, sneering slightly. "Fighting in my arena could help blow off this energy. There are rules with no fighting without permission, angel."
I fought back an eye roll, trying not to be disrespectful in the goddess's face. "I would love to, but I already know you won't allow me to fight in your area."
The goddess glared down at me. "And how are you so sure?"
I shouldn't —I really shouldn't push my luck by angering the goddess with my disrespect.
But for some reason, I felt like I would not get hurt or punished by her with Janus behind me. So, I placed a low smirk as I stared directly at the goddess.
A challenge in my voice; "How about you let me one with one anyone? That will definitely deflate my claim." I curled a brow, feeling the veins pop under the large goddess's skin. "Or are you gonna back out on your own words?"