The first thing I noticed was the smell. It didn't smell like baby products or anything unpleasant; instead, it had a vibrant, sweet aroma that made colors burst in my chest. It was an unusual feeling, but when the door closed behind us and I took a moment to look at our surroundings, I allowed myself to relax, enjoying the calming scent that filled the air.
The room was spacious, featuring several doors on the sides that led to unknown places. It bore a slight resemblance to Orwell's room, with the bed elevated high above the floor, supported by nets that held a few plush toys. I could guess that this was where Aleida was sleeping, as I watched her jump between her bed and the couple's bed.
Rue and Brick were in the large king-size bed, which was propped up by branches from the massive tree trunk that supported the entire structure. Cherry blossoms covered the ground, and there was a fluffy carpet adorned with even more plush toys.
So I was half right; the room wasn't bad, but I could tell that the mess of toys on the ground and the little net bed were definitely the work of the young cupids.
As we made our way to the center of the room, I stopped in surprise at the fireplace located at the opposite end, near the windows. In front of it were several small plush chairs and a soft, fluffy carpet. There were many more toys scattered around, and the shelves lining the walls were filled with an abundance of sweet treats. This might have been why I was able to sell so many delightful items; they were overflowing with flavor, as indicated by my keen sense of smell.
"Hey! Oh, Vienna's here too!" Rue's voice called out from above. "Come on, Aleida, Brick, let's go greet the angels."
Before I could look back at them, the cupids were already gathered by the fireplace. Rue cradled the small cupid in her arms, while Brick followed closely behind, their arms linked together. Rory and Seth had settled onto the mats, appearing as though they had been here for quite some time.
Which they most likely had.
Bridget tugged me down to sit on the mats with her, and Casper sat beside me, his eyes looking over to the three cupids. However, his eyes lingered on the smallest cupid.
Rue and Brick sat in the middle of the mats. She opened her arms so Aleida could step out and greet us. Rue took my attention back to her. "It's been a while in Vienna, how have you been?"
"Oh.. I've been fine." I awkwardly answered. I forgot how lovely these cupids were.
"How is training with the Warriors Angels going?" Brick decided to ask, moving over to hold his partner in his lap.
I shrugged, "I passed adolescent training, so now I'm with the higher group."
"That's so cool!" Rue squealed, her small wings flapping wildly against her cupid's chest. He giggled, hugging her closer while the girl continued to ask things about the Warrior Angels.
I raised my hand, feeling overwhelmed. "Well, enough about me. I actually came over with them to meet the new cupid."
"Right, Aleida. Come here, darling." Rue reached out, calling for the small cupid who was tugging at Rory's hair on the other side. The little cupid flapped over to Rue's arms and settled in her lap. "This is Vienna, baby—a friend of ours."
Aleida looked up, her dark brown eyes lighting up when she saw us.
Without cracking a smile, the little cupid made her way over to us, opening her arms and placing them on my shoulders. I flinched, unsure how to react.
I could hear Rory and Seth snicker. Rue and Brick gave loving looks at their little cupid, who Brudget was giving a knowing look.
So, no one is going to help me?
Thankfully, Casper seemed to be the only one aware of my distress. He nudged his head between me and the small cupid, licking her on the nose. Aleida let out a laugh, fluffing her wings with affection. Casper yipped happily and moved in to give the little cupid more licks.
She fell over, still laughing, as the pit bull showered her with loving licks, his tail wagging against my legs. I held him close to my lap, ensuring he didn't accidentally crush the small girl.
"Look! This is her first time with a Heaven Pup!" Rue exclaimed, leaning herself into Brick. He nodded energetically, eyes bubbling with love.
I shook my head, keeping my hand on Casper while the pairs around me began to talk. The little cupid's laugh died down, and she sat up, placing a hand on Casper's nose to stop him. He did so, looking at her with big eyes.
He looked so soft; he was surprisingly gentle with the small cupid. Compared with me or even Rory, he was gentle with her, just like how he is with Bridget. I was sensing a theme here.
Although I found it strange, I also thought it was quite adorable. The angels, and even some of the cupids, discuss how the Heaven Pups can be very unpredictable, making them a wild card. However, I have never actually seen Casper behave aggressively—except when he was protecting me.
A low thudding in the back of my skull made my eyes close tightly. I gritted my teeth, lowering my head to try and hide the pain that was coming out.
The voices numbed to the background, my mind was swirling with pain and confusion.
Why now?
What is it that is making it so hard to ignore?
I don't want to remember, I don't want to!
Soft padding touched my hand, moving slowly to create warmth. I could feel it, but instead, it calmed me down, and I grew irritated.
Why couldn't I fight this? Why am I allowing this pain to blind me and make me so angry? There is no reason to be mad right now!
"Enough, Casper," I mumbled out, feeling the strong grunt of my voice grow aggressive. Casper whined. He moved away, and a few voices from my friends were blurring together.
I heard my name, and I listened to the concern.
It was coming closer..
No. No- don't come near me..!
I was stuck; the intense pressure pressed into my neck from that blade. He was crushing me, his weight completely trapping me on the ground, where the dirt dug into my bloody skin.
"Vienna?" Her voice was soft, warmth coming closer to my side.
Get away from me!
I trashed out of the hold, the blade running deeper lines in my skin. I growled, throwing my body around, but I was stuck.
The pain grew, and the voices became too loud for me to handle. My body shook, wings rustling with annoyance and discomfort.
"Hey, Vienna, what's going on?" Seth's voice came out from the mist, closer and closer, and all I wanted to do was run away. To throw my wings out, my arms, anything to keep space between me and the voices.. the pain..!
"What's going on with her?" Rue's muffled voice was barely audible.
"She looks in pain," Rory said, their voices coming closer.
I groaned, wishing and waiting for it to end. It had to end; the pain wouldn't persist, right?
It never lasted this long... So why is it doing it now?
"It's not worth it, is it?"
"What are you doing, Vi?" Dawson's hand reached out to me, but did not grab me. His eyes focused on the blade near my wrists. "Stop that.. Vi.."
"It's not worth all this anguish!" I began to sob, drawing the blade closer to my wrist, hot pain radiating from my tears and the red line forming against my skin. I could feel the alcohol in my blood flowing, the drowsy feelings and emotions.. I felt so lost, so done. "I can't keep doing this, Dawson!"
"Vi! Put the knife down now!" He yelled out, fear evident in his eyes.
I hiccuped, enjoying the way he shouted for me; his concern warmed my heart. Or maybe it was the alcohol. All of this was due to the alcohol, the emotions, and the anxiety of complete failure…
Why did I sign up for this? To get tormented?
I had almost died time and time again by my enemy, rejected by the man I love, shot at, assaulted, and blown up!
"If I'm gonna die.." I looked back up, seeing the blurred look of horror on Dawson's face. "Then it will be by my hand-"
"Vi!"
The blade glided along my wrist, crimson blood spreading across my fingers, cutting right in between my veins that cut with a sickening sound. The blade dropped, and I felt the heat in my wrist grow until I felt like I was completely engulfed in flames.
I kept my eyes on him, on the man I love.
He did not move, his eyes wide, shadows cascading above his eyes until I was staring into a black hole.
Help. Help me, Dawson..
He did not, and I screamed-
I jolted from my bed, cold sweat soaking through my hair, beneath where I lay on this mat. I looked around frantically, clutching my wrist, expecting it to be bloody. But it wasn't, nothing but old bruises.
It was just a nightmare..
I let out breaths of relief, though lingering shock shook my whole body. I curled my legs up to my chest, resting my head between them to stifle my sobs. I was back in my bed, with my team members sleeping around me. A few bottles of beer and alcohol surrounded each bed, including mine. I quickly realized that I felt very sick; my body was twisting in on itself, and I felt dirty and exhausted.
I didn't want to go back to bed…
The lingering images of myself cutting my own wrists.. I didn't want that, I didn't want to kill myself like that- why.. why am I even dreaming about that?
Probably because I'm wasted. I drank so much at the bar, I had to get carried back by my comrades. It was very embarrassing, so I was thankful that I couldn't remember it all.
I stood up, wobbling around to find my ground. The stares of all the men around me made my head burn; I was feeling very irritated and hot. I took a look at my bed, and it was soaked with sweat. Same with my clothes..
I wasn't feeling up to moving around and cleaning myself off, but I didn't want to go back to sleep either.
I gathered everything up, carefully rolling it together along with the clothes I had changed into—my spare uniform that Missy had cleaned for me after the explosion. I also had a new pair that I hadn't worn yet. Thankfully, my hat was still intact; it had lost the scent of Dawson that I liked.
I pushed those thoughts aside and quickly cleaned myself up before heading outside. It was snowing heavily, and the cold quickly seeped through my clothes, washing away all my warmth.
I washed my sweaty clothes and blankets down by the water, then I headed to the big building. I had to make sure I was quiet, as my higher-ups were probably sleeping, and they had a busier day than I did. I put the stuff in the dryer, feeling the fatigue grow back inside my bones. I leaned against the dryer, sinking down to the ground, where I closed my eyes.
I rested. It was nice in the dark laundry mat, for all I know, I was the only one awake at the time..
A distant chatter pulled me out of my blank mind space. I jumped, feeling my fight instincts take over. I huffed, the voices coming to me until I relaxed. I quickly stood, hiding behind the door as the pair of men walked past the laundry mat.
It was Dawson, along with our captain.
I held my breath, watching as the men walked past and down the hall to the desk office. I fought with myself, but I was very bored. I had about ten minutes until my things dried, so I could check what was going on.
If both my lieutenant and captain were together, it must have something to do with our future mission.
I quickly followed the men who went straight to the office. I stop outside the door, resting my back against the wall where I can listen in on the conversation unnoticed.
"It is a huge deal right now." The captain's voice boomed out, and the sound of chairs sliding followed it.
Dawson's slightly fearful voice answered. "I understand that, sir, but shouldn't we be following the enemy instead of fighting within our own squad?"
"A traitor is much more important than the enemy right now!"
I froze, feeling goosebumps rise on my skin.
There is a traitor..?
"I swear, when I find out who it is, I will make them pay!"
"Please, Captain Sir!" Dawson quickly cut in, and the shifting of seats pulled my back to their conversation, where I turned my ear to the wall. "I understand that. I suggest we send one of our pods to the next lookout point."
"And why do you suggest that?"
Dawson went silent for a bit, and then his voice spoke up. "Because we need to be ready for an attack, we have had over five surprise attacks already. Most of them had taken out most of our positions; we must catch the next one before it happens again."
The captain did not respond. I listened very close, feeling my legs shudder under my weight with anticipation.
"Alright," he finally said. I could almost hear Dawson's sigh of relief. "But I need you to be with that group. I will choose which pods to go with you."
"Of course, sir."
The chairs moved; the captain must have stood up. "I think it may be wise if only one pod goes with you. You intend to make this a quiet mission, I hope?"
"Of course, sir. It's the best position to take if we want to watch their moves."
I gulped, allowing my body to calm down. I felt a lot of guilt since I was basically dropping off my boss's conversation, but I knew if I wasn't caught, I wouldn't be in trouble.
"Go ahead and take squad 6 with you."
My heart skipped a beat; that was my squad.
I grew excited. I will be going on the mission with Dawson! Along with all of my training partners like Missy, Tristan, Alex-
"Are you sure I should take that squad?" Dawson suddenly cut in, stopping my excited thoughts in a second. I fell flat, my skin growing cold as I was forcing myself to listen.
"Of course," the captain let out. "That was the squad you trained with the most, correct?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Look," the older man's voice grew louder. "I know you may be worried about this mission, but I have no doubt that this squad will be the best one to go with you. They were trained under your eyes, of course, since they were draftys!"
I gulped, quietly hoping for Dawson to respond. But at the same time, I felt hurt by his lack of excitement about this pod arriving. I was in that one.
"Of course. I am just nervous since I am close to this squad, sir."
"Again, I have no doubt that they will accomplish this mission. You trained them after all."
"Right." Dawson let out, his voice sounding disappointed.
I trembled against my own will, taking small steps back as frustration grew quicker than I expected. I was angry. Why did this make me so mad?
Did Dawson not want us with him because he thinks we won't be able to do it?
Does he not believe in us?
Does he not believe in me?
I was back in the laundry room, but all I could do was see. I had to keep it together, right back the anger, annoyance, and all the other betraying emotions I was feeling.
Why was I thinking this way? Dawson always believed in us; he knew we had what it took to succeed. He isn't disappointed with our coming; he's worried, that's all!
No matter how much I tried to convince myself, I couldn't shake my anger. It betrayed my own intentions; I struggled to believe my own thoughts. I couldn't seem to control my emotions. I felt angry even when I didn't want to be. There was no reason to be this furious.
"Vienna, hey, it's okay-'' Seth placed a hand on my shoulder, jumping me out of my memories along with the seat. I jumped out of it, flying my wings back and knocking him in the face.
He fell back, hitting the ground hard enough that everyone else quickly stood up. Rue held Aleida close to her, her fearful eyes locked on me. Brick was close behind them, arms protectively wrapped around them. Bridget stood with Casper, hiding behind her, with her eyes focused on me. Rory quickly moved beside Seth, helping the angel before their eyes returned to me.
I stood in the middle of it all, my wings trembling and my eyes hot. I was crying; I knew I was. The pain was gone, which was the only positive aspect of the whole ordeal.
I took a stumbling step away, fitting my wings closer like I could protect myself from the eyes all looking at me. The mixed emotions of shock, concern, and fear…
My eyes found Seth's. He stared up at me; he wasn't hurt. The male allowed Rory to help him up. He brushed his wings back, trying to put a smile on his slightly crooked face.
"Hey, it's okay, Vienna, are you okay?" He stepped forward, Rory taking their eyes off him to look at me.
I gulped, crying even harder. I wiped my eyes, my hands were hot and shaking, and my whole body was shaking. My voice was caught in my throat; it pained me to speak up, but I felt like I had to after hitting Seth the way I did. "I-I'm fine..!" I gently rubbed the back of my head with my wings in a way to calm myself. "I'm sorry, I hit you-"
"It's okay," he shrugged, stepping closer, where Bridget and Rory followed after.
"Are you okay, Vienna? Like really?" Bridget jumped in, concern overflowing in her eyes.
It was apparent I wasn't; I was crying.
"I didn't mean to hit you like that, I swear-"
"He knows that girl!" Rory said, the cheeky tone in their voice calming my heart rate. They nudged Seth, looking between us playfully. "He takes my hits all the time. We don't get hurt, which is why we were concerned for you, Vienna." They reached out to me, "You are obviously in pain-"
I flinched before I could stop myself, taking a step away from the three. "I'm fine!" I yelled out, glaring up at them.
They stopped, everyone did. I felt a pool of regret inside my chest at the sudden burst of anger. I couldn't take it back now, so I didn't.
I stepped back and shakily opened the door behind me. No one followed, except for Casper, the pup with his tail between his legs, who quickly hopped after me before I could close the door on him.
As I shut the door on my friends, I caught a glimpse of the mixture of emotions on their faces before I turned away.