"Using such authority to make an angel greet you is in no way right." I stayed tucked between her massive wings, trying to spare a glance at the two towering goddesses just around Janus. But she stood firm, body closely and protective, covering me.
I could hear the Warrior Goddess scoff, the clank of her metal making me tense up. "I was talking with the angel, Janus."
I heard the flutter of wings before a new voice jumped. "There is no reason to hide her. We know everything already."
I tensed up, unsure of what they were trying to get out of me. Janus shifted slightly to allow me to look at them, but she kept me firmly at her side. The Attendant Goddess found my gaze, her eyebrows knit together, and I could tell she was not pleased with me at that moment. I wondered what I had done to upset her.
"You do?"
"Laetitia shared some of what she observed between you two at Cupid's party." The Warrior Goddess shrugged her broad shoulders, appearing almost carefree. "You know better than anyone about keeping secrets, Janus."
Before Janus could speak, Minerva spoke up. "You also know that we don't share names with the angels or cupids. Yet Vienna knows your name, and she has for a long time."
"I see no reason to keep that information from an angel. I see no point in keeping it."
I could feel the Attendant Goddess harden her eyes at Janus. "We need to speak with you without her, Janus."
I was just about ready to bolt, but Janus held on tighter. "Why? I was just planning to go to the garden with Vienna." Her smile turned sweet. "I think whatever you want to say, you can say it with Vienna here."
The Warrior Goddess took a threatening step forward, glaring at Janus. I shook, feeling my wings fidget as I clutched onto the Gate Goddess in fear.
Minerva took her wing out, placing a gentle hand on the other's shoulder and pushing her behind her. Even though the Warrior Goddess was enormous and very broad compared to the shorter goddess, she still held so much power in her stance.
"I don't think you want her to hear this, Janus." Her eyes hardened, glaring dangerously up at the other.
Janus made no move against her, though her arm slid down to grip my own behind her wings. I squeezed back, leaning my head gently into her wings, allowing her to take over my mind. I expected her to put me to sleep so I could pull away while she dealt with the others, relieving her of the burden of me listening in.
I knew none of this was my business, so I wouldn't mind if Janus put me out. It might have seemed that she intended to do just that. I hung limp against her soft wings, and my eyes fluttered closed in relaxation.
But I was aware. I could hear them speak to one another and feel their emotions.
"What is the problem, Minerva? You usually lack patience, but to speak like that in front of an angel is surprising." She paused for a moment, tilting her head to the side. "I expected this behavior from Bellona more than anyone else."
I could hear a sharp intake of breath from the Warrior Goddess, Bellona.
Minerva stepped up, "I know how you feel for her, Janus. Though I may not like it, I have no right not to fight against it."
"Then there is no problem," Janus replied sharply.
I heard Minerva pull in an intake of breath, but she was cut short by a forceful voice. "How could we not worry about this, Minerva? A goddess putting all her energy into an angel? A mere angel-"
"Enough talking, Bellona," Janus said firmly, her wings curling closer around me. I could feel the silence stretching between the three goddesses at my fingertips. The Warrior Goddess stood still, not making a sound. "You know better than to speak to me with such an iron tongue. You're far too young to speak with such authority over me."
Her stern voice should have made me feel faint and terrified, but instead, I sank deeper into her wings. It felt so wonderful; her words brushed against my skin like a soft kiss.
"Janus.." Minerva spoke up, allowing the harsh tension between Janus and Bellona to melt away. "Bellona was wrong to speak like that, but please.. calm down."
The Gate Goddess let out a surprisingly shuddering breath, relaxing her wings into a soft cushion against me. "What else must you tell me?"
"It's not about you and Vienna; it's just about Vienna." Janus felt tense once more, a slight pressure as her wings wrapped me tighter in her warmth. She said nothing, allowing Minerva's voice to be the only one heard. "We need to understand what's going on with her. It's not normal—she is not normal."
I felt myself stir, but I was trapped, unable to move away from the comfort.
"You, out of all of us, know what will happen if this is not dealt with, Janus. "She could be a danger to all of Heaven. And you're protecting the danger."
The comfort suddenly felt sharp, stinging into my skin, ripping, no.. tearing right into my flesh, pulling at my bones, and the agony was just a dull, mindless feeling. It was there, reaching its claws out to me, gashing its teeth like a wild animal.
"She is NOT a danger." Janus seethed out, and the claws were covered in darkness.
They could not reach me here…
She took a step closer, her wings curling protectively around me. "I know what is best for Vienna: it's to keep her safe and shield her from the darkness." A hand grazed my temple, and I leaned my head against it. "That's why she is safe with me. I will protect her."
"Janus-"
"No, enough, Minerva." She moved away, pulling the smooth hand from me, and I immediately missed it. "Leave it at that. I know what I am doing, step down."
The Attendant Goddess spread her wings, the sound almost scraping against the floor. Her breath came sharp and quick but remained controlled. "I would, I really would, if that were the case, Janus," she said, shaking her head. "But I cannot, not with this. Your relationship with the angel will cloud your rational thinking. I cannot allow this to happen. I do not want to be hurt because of her."
"I will deal with it," Janus repeated, her voice slightly strained. Minerva was about to respond, but Janus swiftly turned her head, grabbing my legs and lifting me up in a bridal carry. I snuggled into her chest, smiling fondly as she gently held me. "That will be enough. I do not want to hear you speak about Vienna like that, Minerva." She shifted slightly, now presumably looking at Bellona. "And that goes for you as well."
She walked off, the fluttering of her wings covering behind her shoulders, so I could not see the other goddesses. I could hear a slight ghost voice following after us.
"I wish I could trust you, Janus."
Janus did not respond; she didn't even slow down. I could hear faint conversations from the cupids and angels watching us as we left, but I kept my focus on Janus. Her large hand rested on my back, around my thighs, and all I could feel was her presence.
I clutched her shoulder tighter, digging myself as close as I could until finally releasing a light sigh. She giggled, warming up and down my back soothingly, and I was about to fall asleep just from that.
But that thought stopped me.
I took a quick look up at her, blinded by her beauty for a second. Janus tilted her head, using a wing to open the large doors, and we were suddenly outside in the garden.
"What is it, my angel?" She asked softly, continuing down the pebbled path to the end, far away from everyone else.
"I'm just... Thinking about what they said." I felt my heart swell and stiffen in her grip. "Am I really a danger...?" I recalled the fight with Axel, how I had held him down, crushing his wings with my knee. I wanted to kill him. No, I had tried to murder him. Those two actions were different—very different.
Janus was quick, with a soothing voice and a touch to my back. "No. You are not. Minerva is mistaking your situation for something else."
"Did that have something to do with the hellbeings?"
Her grip tightened, and a slight crease appeared on her brow, making me regret asking my question. But it was gone soon enough, replaced by her carefree, loving smile. "No, nothing bad will happen because of you, my darling." She pressed a kiss to my temple, the shadows from the leaves above sheltering us. "You are safe with me. I promised that."
My eyes suddenly felt hot, and I quickly wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling myself close. I held back tears, fighting the wave of emotions that welled up from the pit of my stomach.
Janus hugged me back, pausing in the middle of the area where she had brought me. Her gentle caress on my back provided comfort, and her soothing words echoed in my ear.
"I know.. thank you, Janus." I half whispered, pushing my head further into her neck. I was about to open my mouth, but it shut at the sudden words that were desperate to escape.
I love you-
I moved away, rubbing my nose at the hot feelings, making it hard to breathe. I coughed, trying to avoid the gaze of Janus, who was looking at me with curiosity.
My eyes wandered around the space we were in and quickly realized it was a greenhouse. Glass surrounded us, letting in sunlight from above, and long vines were tangled everywhere. Behind the greenhouse loomed a large tree, its overgrown leaves covering the small area like a hidden secret.
The space, though, caught me off guard. It was almost empty. There were no flowers, plants, or vegetables growing there.
In the center stood a swing, supported by a large branch from the tree. The swing looked very sturdy and seemed to have a strong purpose. The ground was covered in soft green grass, with a few weeds scattered here and there, but otherwise, it was quite bare.
Janus placed my feet back on the ground, leaving her hand on my back to gently guide me around. There wasn't much to see; the vines had overgrown and covered most of the outdoor view from inside. It was still beautiful, yet it felt as though vanity would keep it all trapped within.
I stopped with my hand on the glass, looking up at the goddess. "Why is this place so overgrown? It looks abandoned."
Janus looked up, taking a look around. "This is the birthplace of Terra."
I stopped looking around for a moment and looked up at her with a tilted head. "Terra?"
"The Mother Goddess, darling." Janus giggled, squinting slightly.
I felt suddenly hot, embarrassed, and slightly unwanted. This is... the birthplace of a goddess? How- why am I here then?
Why does it look so.. ordinary?
It felt as if Janus could read my thoughts. She walked away, her hands clasped behind her back, while she scanned the small space. This location was where Terra was brought to life. Once, it was just a simple area until the goddess herself decided to turn it into a cozy greenhouse. She smiled wistfully, recalling, "She wanted it to appear ordinary, like her own little sanctuary. For centuries, she spent her time here, creating new forms of life to thrive peacefully in Wonderland."
"It looks.." I looked up to the ceiling, the vines scrawled in form above, poking slightly with their bright green foilage. "Calm."
Jnaus nodded. Moving back to me, she stopped and placed her hands on the strands, keeping the swing up. "It is. Terra loved this place."
I moved over to her, placing my hands below hers on the swing. "Why 'loved'?"
Janus looked slightly displeased, turning her head away as if she had recalled an unpleasant memory. "Terra has become very busy with the growing population of all the beings here. She hasn't been able to keep up with this place, which is why it's become so overgrown." She lowered her head, her hair gliding slowly down her shoulder. "I asked her if I could help maintain it and prevent nature from overtaking it. But Terra told me to let it go."
Janus gently placed a hand under my chin, lifting it so I could look up at her. Her smile was wide, soft, and glowing. "She told me to let nature take back what was theirs. It was meant to happen all along. Nature reclaimed what was its own."
I stuttered out a breath, leaning into her touch so hard that I could feel my body grow weak. I could tell Janus wanted to say more, but her lips formed a line, and she said nothing but turned her head away and removed her hand.
"Janus...?" She turned back to my question. I gulped and blushed deeply as I moved to sit on the swing. "Can you push me?"
Her smile grew wide again, allowing my body to relax as she welcomed Janus back with her grateful love. "Of course."
Her grace was unwavering. She gently brushed the base of my neck before moving down to part my feathers. I kicked my feet up, ensuring my wings were tightly closed on my shoulders to avoid catching the wind. I could feel her hands, her warmth, and her presence.
Everything. Everything about her.
I felt it.
"Janus?" I asked out loud, slowing down my kicking to move much lower.
"Yes, my dear?" The goddess hummed out.
I took a deep breath, striving to keep my thoughts organized. I had the words prepared, just on the verge of spilling out, but they got caught in my throat. All I managed to choke out were a few words.
"Why didn't you put me to sleep at that time?"
She stopped for a moment, and the light flutter of feathers came out softly. "What do you mean?"
I gulped, realizing that I had spoken incorrectly. "What I meant was... The last few times you spoke with the other goddesses, or generally about things related to me, you would put me to sleep." I shrugged, lightly hanging from the swing. "I suppose I just expected that you didn't want me to hear those conversations."
"I don't want to keep things from you," she replied quickly.
I nodded along, adjusting my wings tightly as she gently pushed me back and forth. "I understand. If things between you and the goddess aren't meant to be heard, I accept that."
She laughed lightly, "are you referring to the moment you passed out after changing your clothing that time?"
I blushed, remembering that time. I nodded lightly. "Something like that. I knew it was you-"
"I didn't put you to sleep to hide something from you." She shook her head and slowed down her pushing so I could draw closer to her as she spoke. "Do you remember the emotions you felt during that time?"
I thought back to that, thinking about what we were talking about in the first place-
A sudden flash of red and a surge of blood boiling against my skin. I felt my back arch, wings bristle slightly at that feeling. I turned my face down so I could try and stop my mind from overthinking.
I connected the dots at that time, understanding the emotions and feelings involved.
I felt that same anger when I had Axel pushed down below me. Anger, so much anger that I could only see red.
Why was I so angry?
Janus stopped pushing me, moving her hand over my eyes to block my vision. "Do not remember. Don't think about that. You must not feel that, my dear."
I gulped, nodding slowly along with her. My voice felt stiff, stuck in the middle of my throat. "I don't like the feeling.. it-it-"
It actually made me feel.. dangerous…
Was Minerva right?
"You're not dangerous." Gently pulling me into an embrace from behind, Janus shook her head and tossed my thoughts out of my head. "You are an angel.. you are my angel."
I sank my head into her chest, closing my eyes with the sudden peace.
"To answer you, Vienna… I didn't tell you because you deserve to be in the light, not in the dark. You are a light—so bright and so strong. You need to know everything about this because it concerns you." She rested her head on mine. "Do not feel trapped within yourself. Be free, be yourself, and don't hold back any part of who you are. I will do my best to help you stay true to yourself." Her voice shook, her breath low.
"You are nature. You must take back what is yours."