HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Luz felt agony all over her body. The world…the air…everything just felt wrong, and she was having a hard time recalling what had just happened. The only thing that was clear was that Lucci was angry….more angry than he's ever been on earth. It was hard to recall that the boy repressed so much anger when he let so much of it out naturally.
"Okay … last time there was a strange sound and a flash of light … ended up in a timeline where I didn't exist …" She stood up, shaking her head. "If the Axolotl can hear me, I could use some advice."
BEEP BEEP
"I'm walkin here!"
So she was at least near a civilization. Better than being stranded in the middle of an empty void of time and space. Maybe she just ended up across the world this time and her friends were just getting into the regular reverse isekai fish out of whatever hijinks. "First thing's first, get a lay of the land." Find a landmark, a street address, or even a fancy looking rock that might give her a clue.
Clearing the fuzziness from her eyes, Luz looked up….and saw a blood…red….sky. Red sky, red moon, heck, the air itself seemed to be colored red somehow. "… So either I'm in Los Angeles, or another world." Sasha hadn't said anything about the pollution being this bad. Maybe that was something to talk about the next time she saw the therapist.
She was really hoping it was another world. Heck, for all Luz knew, this could be some far off distant land away from the Boiling Isles … of course that meant everyone else could be scattered across space time. Damn it, why did crossing entire universes have to be so freaking complicated?
Shaking her head once more, she began walking, hoping to see something familiar, or at the very least something she could understand on a conceptual level. Red cities, cars, the locals seemed a bit … what was the term? 'Alien', 'exotic'? Whatever it was, they looked … anomoli-ish. Some looked like animals, some looked like they were mechanical. Quite a few were small, red, and had black/white horns with spaded tails. Hopefully these were demons, because if they were, that meant she was somewhat close to boiling isles territory.
A pig man walked up to her. Alright, try to put on a good impression, and hope they can give you a straight answer. "Hey there, pretty thing, how much for a night in your pants?"
Shing.
She instinctively pulled out her sword and swung at the man's head, who tried to block it, and cut off his right arm instead.
"BITCH!" He shouted in rage, before just grabbing it off the ground. "You could have just punched me in the nose!" He walked away … and left it at that.
"Okay, so there's a high tolerance for violence here, so far that's a good start." She didn't remember the demon's being that perverse though. Everyone on the boiling isles, for as much as they were open to, didn't approve of pedophilia.
"Hey, wanna buy some crystal meth?" A butterfly woman offered, wrapping an arm around her. "Only five souls."
"Ah…souls?" She asked. "Not snails?"
"Who accepts bugs as currency?" Damn it, that ruled out this place being near the Boiling Isles.
"I'm sorry, I'm a bit lost." She shook her head. "One minute I'm in my back yard, the next-"
"Oooh, new meat …." They handed her a bag of white dust. "On the house, you'll need it." She smiled and patted her on the back. "Don't worry about ODing. Around here, you'll just wake up completely fine the next day."
Okay, so you could shrug off mutilation, overdosing, and people paid each other with souls …. Something wasn't adding up. Luz was about to ask more, only for the woman to run to another resident and offer them drugs. "This feels like a place Eda would feel right at home in, but it's still not the boiling isles." If she couldn't get answers out of the people, maybe the environment was the answer.
She looked to the buildings, seeing various billboards for several strange, and quite frankly, disturbing, things. One was an ad for the 'Jeffrey Dahmer Cannibal cooking show'. Another was of a scantily clad pink demon woman posing for a company called 'Succ Inc'. Last was a giant billboard for '666 news'.
"Red world, violent people, embracing debauchery …" It was like something was tickling on the back of her brain … she looked back to the news. "Six Six Six …" The number of the devil …No…..no….that couldn't be….okay, she had to use a bit of satanic imagery for that new glyph, but it was supposed to be a dud….of course, Lucci's full power could've changed that….shit…shit…shit…this wasn't panning out well.
"Excuse me sir!" She ran up to a man selling some awful smelling meat. "This bag of drugs for answers. Am I … am I in …" Luz gulped. "Am I in hell?"
"Sweet, been a while since my last overdose!" He snorted all up in one go. "Ahhh, that hit the spot….what was it that you asked?"
"DID I GET SENT TO HELL!?"
"Alight, alright, sweet satan, don't yell in my ears like that." The tweaking man cleared out some earwax. "Yeah, you're in hell. Specifically Pentagram City, in the Ring of Pride."
"Hell….Hell….I'm…I'm in hell….?" She repeated. "But…But I didn't die!"
"That's what they all say. Heck, that's what I said when I got here." The man mumbled. "One minute I'm driving home after sleeping with my wife's best friend. I get home to a lovely dinner and wake up the next morning here." He laughed. "Turns out the BF texted her earlier, so my wife poisoned the food. Died in my sleep, but the old bag still kept our marriage spicey … you interested in buying my expired meats?"
"....No, I'm good." This man….he just….accepted the awful person he was….embraced it even. Didn't even complain that he was living in eternal damnation.
Luz stumbled away … doomed into the afterlife … with the most rotten of trash … exactly what she deserved. She was sent to hell….a bad person who did bad things and made a bad mess on an entire world….this…this was the life she deserved now. After months of screwing everything up with her friends and mom….she was finally out of their lives….she was no longer a pain for her mother.
And on the bright side, she didn't see anyone else next to her…so maybe that meant everyone else was alive….or at the very least in heaven. The former was more likely for Lucci, he didn't die easily.
=======================================================================
HAHAHAHAHA
Hunter was … somewhere, with red skies and buildings, and an unclean air that reminded him of being too close to artificial magic being made. It was intoxicating, as if his throat took in little bits of ember with every breath. He moved around, trying to get his bearings on … wherever he was. Maybe there was a familiar face or-
He paused for a moment, noticing a stand. "... I'm sorry, what's your name?"
"Tibbles! Would you like to purchase one of my legitimate wares?" The tiny man asked. He looked like a normal pig demon, but his body looked notably rocky, and there were red x's covering most of his skin.
"Tibbles …" Why did that sound so familiar? Tibbles, tibbles … "Wait." Hunter realized. "Weren't you wanted by the Emperor's Coven for selling illegal contraband and secrets."
"Oooh, a resident of the Boiling Isles. Ironically I don't see too many of those residents down here." The pig demon smirked. "You'd think that'd be a given, you know, given how everyone's a demon and all."
"Demon … what are you implying?" He asked. Something was off with how he said that.
"You're a newcomer right? Just woke up, have no idea where you are and confused beyond all belief?" Tibbles asked. "Just like every Sinner demon. Welcome to hell chum!"
".....So this place is destitute or…"
"No, as in welcome to literal hell." He chuckled. "I died when a Basilisk fed me to Crystal Devils. You must've been rotten as heck to land up down here, kid."
Hell … Hunter was in hell . He began to walk away, barely registering the world around him. "Chirp." Even Flapjack couldn't help the situation …
This was hell , the darkest of places … and he was trapped here forever. You deserve it. He was the Golden Guard, he sinned so much, he listened to Belos, it only made sense. He died, and he was in hell. It didn't matter how much he tried to make up for it, his soul was damned from the moment he was born.
"So…..are you going to buy something or are you just going to continue this existential nightmare?" He barely heard what Tibbles was going on about as the world felt like it was closing in on him. He was dead and in hell. He wasn't even a real person, he was just a copy of a copy of a dozen other copies. "You know, maybe I could get you a job if you're worried, just follow me."
Hunter felt his arm grabbed, and he didn't have it in him to resist. He was dead, he was dead, he was dead and this was where he belonged. The fires of this eternal realm of suffering would last forever and ever and he would deserve every second of it. Every instance of happiness he had ever known would finally come to an end, every instance of kindness would slowly be forgotten and he'd never experience it again-
"Hey there kid." Another hand pulled him away. "I wouldn't trust that guy, he seems like the person to sell you to the mob." Some man spoke.
"As a slave, until you ruined it, jackass!" Tibble yelled out. "Why do you imps even care, this is sinner business!"
"One, you're doing it in front of our house…in the middle of imp city. Two, the kid is clearly in the middle of a panic attack you're taking advantage of." The man continued.
"And?"
"And while I could give you a long and detailed lecture of my personal experiences for such distasteful practices, my third point is that my wife is in a rather testy mood right now, and seeing a sleazy slimeball that isn't our boss take advantage over someone desperate is a bit of a trigger for her."
"GGRRAAA!" He watched as a red blur jumped on the man, before he was pulled away, looking at a small red man with horns and white hair and cloven hooves instead of feet.
"So what's the deal kid? What you do, how you do it, what's the diddly do?" They asked.
"... What?" Hunter was lost.
The red man groaned. "How did Blitz word it? ... You seem like a guy who's good with hitting people to death?"
"Uhhhh…." If that was a complement, then it did not sound like one at all…neither was it something Hunter wanted to be proud of.
"Look…buckoroo, you shouldn't be….so low, hell's already doing that enough as it, just sit back and chillax, hang loose….dude?"
"... If I stop panicking, will you stop talking like that?" Hunter begged. Or was this part of the eternal damnation?
"Oh thank satan, I was starting to gag at the use of such improper grammar." The red man sighed in relief as they turned to the other red blur, ripping apart the tiny pig demon. "Millie, you good honey?"
"Gettin there! Want to stop him from walking for a good hour!" She shouted while carving out his leg.
"Oh I'm going to be sick." Hunter held a hand over his mouth.
"I know, I know, mutilation isn't always the easiest thing to get used to, especially when it's so close and personal." The red man patted his back. "But if you're worried about him dying, don't be. Sinner demons such as him or you can't expire. They simply regenerate the next day to continue their torment."
"... So I'm really dead." So many regrets, so much trouble …"I never even told the Captain how I felt…"
"Awww, young love, cut off so short! So tragic!" The raging red woman, still covered in blood, suddenly enwrapped him in a very tight hug. "Don't worry sweetie, I'm sure you'll meet her again when her time comes." And now he was covered in blood, lovely.
"Millie, I don't think suggesting that his special someone is going to hell is going to make him feel better."
"Chirp." Agreed Flapjack, it was better if they were alive.
"Aww, how did a birdie get stuck down here?" The red woman chuckled as she scratched Flapjacks beak. "And how are you making that beating noise with your chest? It feels so funny. Bump. Bump. Bump."
"You mean my heartbeat?" Hunter asked.
"Heartbeat?" The redman questioned, placing two fingers on the edge of his neck. "A pulse….that shouldn't be possible."
Now he was confused. "Doesn't a heart beat mean flowing blood?" Hunter asked.
"Yes, imps and other hellborn have heartbeats, but Sinners…they don't. It's part of their torment." The red man continued.
"Then how are they bleeding? I don't think Tibbles would be … exploding otherwise." He could still hear blood gushing from the body and was trying his best to ignore it.
"Think that's just part of God's grand joke. When a sinner dies and comes down here, their bodies are transformed to best fit their punishment. They have no heartbeats, but blood loss is still painful, so you sinners are basically immortal gooey punching bags." The Red woman explained far too cheerfully. "He must be alive."
"I'm what?" Hunter asked.
"Chirp?" Flapjack asked in bafflement.
"That makes no sense, no one with a portal would be irresponsible enough to-" The red man stopped talking. "... BLIIIIITZ!" The red man kicked a brick wall. "Damn it, this is the Eddie situation all over again!"
"Not true. Eddie was a little shit that deserved to get brutally maimed." The woman pointed out. "That's why it says in the jingle, ' kids die for freeeeeeeeeee! '."
"Kids what now!?"
"Don't worry about it." She patted his head. "Besides, I'm sure Blitz just did it by accident, he's in a weird depressed state after he stopped fuckin his bird."
"Chiiirp." Okay, I know I may not be the best judge of people … but I think we should run.
"Okay, thanks for the help…but I think I should get goin-"
"We have a portal to get you home." The red man explained. "Our job requires us to go to the human world. If you're not a sinner but a living soul, then you should be able to go back without a problem."
"Oh …" This seemed too good to be true … then again he was dead either way and all his friends were scattered across the planet … then again, 'kids die for freeee' .
"How about we get you a meal first? You in the mood for lamb chop?" The woman asked.
"No…" Her stomach growled suggesting otherwise. "...I guess a little bite to eat wouldn't hurt."
"Sweeet!" The woman hugged him tightly again. "I'm Millie, and this lovely gentleman is my husband Moxxie! Don't you worry sweetie, as long as you stay next to the most badass assassins in all of hell, you'll never have to worry about anything!"
He had many worries, he'd just bury them down for later.
=======================================================================
HAHAHAHAHA
Boscha blinked. "... Well this is new." She looked around. "Where the heck did that explosion put me?" One moment, she was watching her boyfriend beat the shit out of that pencil necked gem, the next, she heard maniacal laughter and fire bursted all over the place ... granted that wasn't anything new when it came to Lucci beating the shit out of people, but normally she was still in the same place whenever it happened.
"Okay, tall buildings, red sky … oh shit, is this another universe?" That would be a rough one. How the heck could she fly back without her lovely crystal to help her through it all? Or even worse, she'll end up in a universe where he was in love with someone else ... Like Luz… or that Connie girl… ugh, the thought alone made her want to vomit.
"Don't think about it, don't think about it, just find the streets and find Lucci. If he's around here, he's probably blowing something up in order to find me." It was his go to move after all. "Come on Maya, lets fly." She held up her palisman.
"Snap … snap." They pouted, small coughs.
"Huh… that's weird." Boshca took a large breath.. And immediately coughed. "Hack, ugh… it smells like something died and rotted ten times over.. And not in a good way." Whatever was in the air… it felt like decay and death … except amplified ten times over.
"Oooh, aren't you a young thing?" Some rando goat looking demon asked, huh.. Maybe she wasn't as far from home as she assumed."So, is that ass cheap?" And he spanked her-
"OH YOU FUCKER!" She slammed a fireball into his face.
"AAAHHH!!"
"That's right! Burn!" And another one. And another one. "Why is every guy suddenly as creepy as Kevin!?"
"WHO THE FUCK IS KEVIN!?"
"BUUURRRNNN!!" Flesh melting off of the bone, skin turning to ash, bone becoming dust in the wind ... yes ... yes, this was great! She should've done this when she and Lucci were Cherri, they should've watched the entire world burn to the ground beneath their feet-
Clap
Clap
Clap
Apparently she had an audience if the slow clapping was any indication. "If that clapping's sarcastic, then we're going to have another problem."
"Nah, it's fuckin impressed." Some girl spoke up, with swirly pink and white pigtails and a red suit with a crop top that ... honestly, it was pretty tasteful. "Not many newbies can be so fuckin violent."
"Newbies?" Boscha scoffed. "Bitch, I'm the alpha of any clique."
That only seemed to make the woman laugh even more. "Heheheh, seriously, the confidence, the bold and brazen attitude, it's so refreshing. Usually when people get to hell, they're all 'aggggh, I'm in hell, someone get my mama's teat to suck on!' It's so pathetic."
"Heh, Mama never breastfed me, didn't want me getting dependent-what was that about Hell?" Boscha did a quick take."
"Why did you think I called you a newbie?" She asked with a smirk. "Welcome to HELL! The land where every fucker who ever homicidal nutjob, stalking rapist, or deluded hedonist ended up!" The woman shouted.
"Hell … I mean I knew I was gonna end up here but wow." So she died … eh, whatever. "Time to go find my boyfriend. He's bound to make some noise."
"Hey, hey, hey, hold on now honey, why the rush?" The woman stepped in front of her. "You got all of bloody eternity to find your boy toy?"
"Well part of it is because he and this bitch with a gem in her head caused our death by punching this door, the other part is that when we take over the world, I want him by my side. Every queen needs a king to show off, you know."
"Ah, fair enough, totally understandable.. " The raven like demon woman nodded. "But as a queen, you gotta look the park, and it just so happens I'm the top fashionista of all of hell."
"..Really?" Boscha blinked. "Doesn't that defeat the whole 'eternal torment' thing."
"It's hell to deal with other people. The other half of the time, no one gives a shit." She shrugged, "Besides, tell me I don't slay this fit." They posed.
"..I AM a little turned on by it." She nodded honestly.
"Knew it!" They smirked. "How about I hook you up with the latest trend, and in return, you tell me all about how the surface is doing? None of our signals can connect to the world of the living." The woman asked of her.
"Hm ... what the hell?" Boscha shrugged. It was the nicest thing anyone's offered her in a while. "Been needing to update my wardrobe, and knowing my boyfriend, he's probably ripping off someone's head to use as a bowling ball."
"Oooh, psychopath?"
"No, just angry with life." She answered. "The super strength doesn't help."
"Super what?"
"Yeah, get this. Aliens? They're real." Figured a human would like that …
"... Bloody hell, how long have I been down here?" The women blinked, before shaking her head. "Anywho's, name's Velvette, friends call me Velv, enemies call me mommy before I step on their neck."
"Are you trying to torture them or turn them on?"
"Who says I can't do both?"
"Now you're speaking my language!" A friend in hell, just what she needed.
=======================================================================
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Willow looked around in a panic. "Where the heck am I?" It sure as hell wasn't Gravesfield anymore … it didn't exactly look like the Boiling Isles either. Especially with the red sky.
"Greetings little one." A man with very sharp teeth greeted with a tip of the hat, walking off.
"... Doesn't look human, but …" Something felt very, very off. Maybe it was the gray skin and the black eyes. "Clover, mind flying around?"
"Bbbzzzzt." They slumped on her shoulder.
"Bad air …" She felt the plant life … and was horrified. "The ground is so … polluted … infertile …" It was almost as bad as the kindergarten … it might have been WORSE. If that was even possible.. which given anything Lucci was involved with, was completely possible.
The area around her didn't do much to give her comfort. It kind of looked like Gravesfield, but more.. old somehow. There were lanterns instead of those street lamps and carts instead of those giant car things that Luz explained weren't monsters.
People seemed friendly enough at least … maybe she could ask for help. "Excuse me mam." She walked up to a woman. "Do you know where I am?"
"Oh I would be delighted to." The woman in the floofy dress bowed. "Welcome to Cannibal Town, the friendliest, and most dangerous depending on who ya ask, side of hell."
Willow blinked a few times. "… Hell? Like … the bad place where people go when you die?"
"Oh dearie me, you must have recently died, haven't ya?" The woman winced. "Why don't I take ya to madam Rosie, she'll set ya right up dearie."
"I … yeah …" She was dead … she was in hell. "I am in hell…" Should she blame Pearl or should she blame Lucci. One led her to this place, one just cut the short early…. Eh, Lucci was probably more to blame. "DAMN YOU LUCCI! DAMN YOU!!!"
"Ooh, spurned lover?"
"No, no, oh titan now." She groaned. "He's an old friend … one of my two oldest actually. He's a bit of a criminal, so …"
"Ah, I see, your life of immortality began because of him?"
"I wouldn't say life , but yeah, pretty much."
"Oh, trust me dollface, we've all been there." The lady giggled. "I was around in the nineteen fifties. Back then if you weren't the picture perfect housewife, you were garbage. Tends to cause a good mind to snap."
"I could imagine. If I was stuck in a house all day, I'd go insane."
"Exactly, that's why I strangled my husband and buried the body in front of the school ... probably wasn't a good idea to bury it near the sandbox, kids with their buckets and pails." The lady laughed.
"Probably too late to give this advice, but the river's much safer option, helps wipe away evidence." And now Willow was at the stage where she could give that as passable advice.
"Totally see that now." The woman nodded as they walked into a parlor. "Excuse me Rosie, sorry to cut in line, but we got ourselves a newly dead!"
"A newly departed in our little neighborhood you say?" And in came a woman, also dressed in old looking clothes, with sharp teeth and black eyes. "Oh my, and so young. Always a shame."
"Yeah… I'd be more shocked, except my life wasn't exactly the safest or secure…" She looked around. "So.. if this is Cannibal town, then everyone-?"
"Is a cannibal, yes, but don't worry, it's always consensual." The woman, Rosie, smiled. "Speakin of, can I offer you some brain muffin? You must be famished from your trip little one."
"..Eh, what the heck, this is actually better than what would usually happen back home." She shrugged as she took a bite… and instantly shoved it in her mouth. "Oh my titan, this.. This is the most filling thing I've had all… I've forgotten just how long it's been!"
"Titan?" The woman blinked. "Oooh, you must be from the Demon Realm. Been a while since we got one of ya."
"Yeah I'm…wait, you know about the Boiling Isles?!" She blinked.
"Kid, this is hell." She smirked. "Anyone who's ever been bad in life, regardless of the planet or country, ends up down here. In fact, we have someone from the demon realm in the back as we speak. Oh Twicepta, can you come over here for a spell?" Rosie called out.
"Wait, Twicepta?" Willow blinked. "As in-"
"Yes Rosie, do you need-?" The Greater Basilisk came into the room, now spotting sharper teeth and pitch black eyes … and looked at her. "... Witch …" They growled.
"Greater Basilisk!" She shrieked.
"Why you-!" The monster jumped at her… only for red strings to pull her back.
"Now now." Rosie said with a frown. "What have we talked about jumping at witches just cause you see them, Twicepta?"
"...To not too.." The monster groaned.
"Now, apologies to this kind lady."
"But she's one of the witches that-"
"I don't care, when you're down here in my domain, you don't hold a grudge, that's what'cha agreed to." The women firmly nodded. "Now, what do you say to this little flower?"
"... I'm sorry for attacking you." They pouted.
"... I … okay …" Willow blinked. "How is she …"
"I'm stronger than my dainty appearance shows." Rosie smirked. "You look like you've got a lot of muscle yourself."
"Oh ... thanks, it's a routine I've been following for a couple months now." She chuckled. "I didn't want to get pushed around anymore, so I started developing my core."
"Excellent, that's a great mindset to have while in hell." Rosie grinned. "Come, come little flower, let me give you a tour of my lovely little town."
"Sure thing …" Willow paused, turning to the growling Twicepta. The maniac deserved to be in hell … but … "Vee is fine." She told the basilisk, causing their eyes to widen. "She's living a happy life with her family. No witch that wants her dead is aware she exists."
"....Is.. is she eating well?"
"Yes, she isn't starving, and she never will." Willow reassured.
"..Thank you." The basilisk nodded, before turning back, looking…not peaceful.. But… pacified enough.
"....She's different down here." Willow muttered.
"That's the afterlife for ya. You can either live in the pest and grow bitter in the flames, or you can emerge a better version of yourself. Just because it's hell doesn't mean ya can't adjust yourself." Rosie chuckled. "You're a good kid."
"I thought you said only bad people go to hell?"
"Doesn't mean they can't have sparks of good."
=======================================================================
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pearl groaned as she tried to pull herself up. "What … happened …" The last thing she remembered was … getting caught … "No …" Lucci and his friends were trying to stop her… "No.." And.. and Lucci got mad.. So mad.. He.. he.. He tried to shatter her… Rose's kin… the one she swore to protect above all else.. Tried to kill her…. "I.. I…"
"Hey jerk!" The squeaky voice of Spinel shouted out to her, as she suddenly found herself wrapped around the stretchy gem. "What the heck did ya do!? Where's Lucci!?"
"I don't know!" She shouted. "One moment he's attacking me, the next we end up …" She looked at the sky. "... Lucifer has told you more about the Boiling Isles than me, correct?"
"Obviously!" Spinel squeezed her harder. "I'm HIS best best friend after all!"
"Then did he ever say the sky was green?" She pointed up.
"... Did we galaxy warp?" The gem scratched her head. "Hm.. don't see any of the usual stars I've seen, and I've seen a lot of stars… too many stars.." She squeezed harder as she started to tremble.
"Noted, noted, noted!" She squeaked out, trying to free herself from the grip. "We.. we weren't anywhere near ... a warp pad ... But there were a lot of those glyphs.. On that door… there's no telling … what that might've done."
Spinel stopped squeezing, silent … as she turned to Pearl with an emotionless expression. "Are you saying you could have put me so far away from Lucci I'll never see my best friend ever again?"
"I…"
"Are you saying that … you made it so … that I will be alone."Her voice got deep… monotone… and… psychotic. "With nobody around… except for the person who put me here in the first place?"
"Wait, wait, hold on, hold on!" She shrieked. "If you hurt me, our chances of finding Steve-"
"LUCCI! HIS NAME IS LUCCI!!!!!" She screamed, pulling out the rejuvenator.
"Lucci! We can find Lucci!" Pearl exclaimed. "We just need to stay calm and-"
"Hey." … They turned to a small red creature with white and black striped horns. "I hears you lookin to find Lucifer?"
Spinel demeanor instantly changed. "Yipperono, that's who we're looking for!"
"Spinel, don't trust this creature, they-"
Splinel slammed her into the ground. "Not listening to you, not at all!"
"I can get you to him easy … I just require the right kind of compensation." The creature replied. "Like say, that amulet you have on your person."
"What's an amulet?" Spinel blinked.
"You know, that thing." They pointed at Spinel's gem.
"Oh, my gem?" Spinel blinked. "Sorry, can't give that away, it's kind of my whole person."
"I see, I see, personally attached to it… Well, don't say I wasn't tryin to be nice." The little cretin took two fingers, and blew into them for a whistle. "Rough em up boys!"
Multiple creatures came out, firing bullets … that did nothing. "..." Pearl sighed, pulling out her spear. "So, were you lying about your knowledge of how to reach Lucifer?"
"Hey, you're the two dumb bitches that strolled into greed without knowing where to find the big man in charge, so that's more on you." The cretin shrugged as he took out a knife
"What kind of strange neighborhood calls itself greed?" Pearl blinked, off handedly blocking his attack.
"Neighborhood, geez, what kind of rock did these broad's come out of?" A cretin that looked like a giant rottweiler canine snarled as Spinel stretched out her fist and chucked him into the air.
"Magnesium with a hint of aluminum!" Rose's old playmate cackled as her body began twirling around like a tornado, smacking several of the creatures around playfully ... and quite psychotically. "Heehehehehehehe… HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!"
"Ah.. Spinel.. Are you alright-?"
"NEVAH BETTAH!" The pink gem grinned as she stretched her body around the cretins and squeezed them around each other. "Just stuck away from my friend Lucci as these ASSHOLES refuse to tell me where he is!"
"Gahh, she's a Fizzaroli cosplayer that can actually follow his shtick!" A fish like creature shouted
"Actually I find this kind of hot." A creature that looked like a dalmatian called out, even as he was squeezed more. "Still.. hot…"
Pearl groaned, firing lasers. "Come on, we need to find some sort of information keep, like a library."
"Oh, like I'm gonna listen to you after you kept me from my best friend!" Spinel shouted. "I'm going to keep ripping these guys a new one until someone coughs up something."
"Gah, fine." Pearl rolled her eyes as she walked away. The gem was just going to slow her down in the end. The sooner she found Stev-Lucci… the better.
=======================================================================
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Lucci looked up at the red sky. "… Gonna put all my blame on Pearl." He grumbled, standing up. "Now then, Sugar, you there?" He felt around his hair.
" Hssss." Yeah, I'm here… the air smells bad… rotten… scummy…
"Can you fly?"
"Hhhsss."
"A no … guess we're walking then." He grumbled, moving forward as he looked around. "666 news, carnival cooking, slasher street …" This felt … off, by Earth OR Boiling Isles standards … "Hopefully it's not a reality where I date Luz." He shivered. The whole thing with the Axolotl really pushed him over the edge. "Well, it's not a blue sky, so it's not earth in any case.. That makes this place at least 20 percent more tolerable."
" Hssss?"
"Nah, can't stay around, need to keep moving and find Luz, she's probably blaming herself for the whole thing and is spiraling down into a depressive episode." He muttered. "After all that shit Pearl laid on her… I'm not going to let her get off easy for this."
"Hsss?"
"Of course I plan on shattering Pearl, she deserves it a lot more than other people I know."
"Hhsss."
"No, we are not adding the Centipeetles to the list." He glared. "They're important to Luz, and Pearl was blaming them.. And if you make your usual Luz argument, I will take back the mice I've been feeding you." Lucci argued. The snake looked down. "Now … where in existence am I …"
BOOM
"Oooh, explosions!" Always a good sign! Lucci ran over to the sound … and saw multiple firework-like explosions. "I sense a kindred soul."
"Hsss." This isn't the time to indulge your arson hobby.
"Hey, everyone's going to assume I'm causing explosions anyways, therefore, if I go towards the source of the explosions, then everyone else eventually will." Lucci made his argument. "That's just simple logic."
"Hsss." Sounds more like a detour.
"Well I don't see you coming up with ideas." He argued.
"Hsss?" Ask for directions?
"Down with the fucking establishment!" A voice cackled, as Lucci turned to see a one eyed woman in punk clothing toss explosion after explosion. "LONG LIVE ANARCHY!"
A lady who lived for Anarchy… "Hsss." Don't go to her.
"I'm going to her."
"Hssss!" It's a bad idea!
"People call most of my ideas bad ideas."
"HSSS!" FOR GOOD REASON!
"... Talking with Boscha about the list." He smirked . "Hey lady, need a hand!?" Lucci asked.
"Hhhss." And commenters say I'M the problem in the relationship.
"Who the fuck are you, twerp?" The girl asked with a confused tilt of the head. "And how come you look so friggin normal?"
"I look normal?" He asked. "I mean, I know witches have a more common appearance, but I could have sworn I was a seven to eight out of ten." Then again, it took Boscha a while to get used to him. "Maybe I need to start growing out fur…"
"What the frick are you going-" She blinked as she looked out. "Shit, shrapnel coming!" She shouted.
"What is coming-"
BOOOOM
Lucci felt multiple small, sharp objects impact him, scratching his body. "... Okay, which asshole threw that!?" HE shouted into the air, forming a spiked shield.
"Green dino fucker two blocks to the left." The cyclops pointed out.
"Great!" He leapt into the air. Green dino, green dino … there! "Have this ya bastard!" And he tossed it right at them.
"Pfft, as if I'm afraid of some faggy looking frisbee thrown by some fat twin-"
SMACK
And the bastard was slammed through a wall. "..OOOOWWWW!" They screamed.
"Wow.." The cyclops blinked. "Not bad half paint. That's some firepower in a little package."
"That's the power of Lucifer Clawthone, the son of the greatest criminal in the Boiling Isles." He smirked.
"I don't know what half of that shit means, but I love the spunk!" The cyclops chuckled. "Name's Cherrie Bomb. Bastards call me bitch, Bitches call me cunt, but everyone calls me too much to handle." She chuckled.
"Huh … small world." Wonder what Cherry would do if they met … this may have been the first time he was legitimately thinking dirty thoughts ... thoughts that didn't involve Boscha. "So what's the story with the explosions and lizard people?"
"Turf war, fighting for territory." She shrugged. "I'm fighting them cause one of them said my ponytail looked stupid."
"Checks out." He nodded. "So, we ready to set the city on fire? Might draw any of my friends out if they're here."
"Oh, you a newbie?" She asked. "No wonder you look so normal."
"Newbie?" Lucci asked. "I've been in the arson game since I was in diapers.."
"Nah, I don't mean arson. I mean hell." Cherrie Bomb smirked.
"..As in land of the damned, eternal pit of flames, the three headed dog?"
"Where every fucker who sinned ends up, yes."
"...Huh.. Aunt Lilly was right." Mom was a bad influence.. He was going to hug her even harder when she came down here and met him again. "...Huh… maybe now I can look up all those people who told me they'll see me in hell." Lucci muttered with a grin.
"Pffft, ahaha, okay, your attitude's definitely refreshing, gotta introduce you to angie when I got the chance." Cherrie snickered. "Anyway, key rules. Sinners can't die no matter how much you rip them apart, but hellborn turn to ash."
"So fire indiscriminately until no one can get back up?" He asked.
"Correct. Two, don't fuck with Overlords, they'll fuck you up."
Eh, felt like more of an opinion. "I'll choose to live and learn." He shrugged.
"And rule three, be aware that for some reason, everyone down here gets randomly forced into musical numbers every now and then." She told him.
"..So if someone were to sing, everyone would be forced to go along with it?"
"Anybody relevant, going along with the beat and everything."
"....I've reached paradise…" Lucci let out a tiny tear. "I'm pretty sure I've landed in heaven."
"You say that now, but wait until extermination comes… heck, in about three months, it'll come around." The girl nodded.
"Tell me about it while we mash up some heads." He grinned as he turned his body pink and cracked his knuckles. "Lead the way, oh mistress of mayhem."
"Sure thing, criminal kid." She chuckled, holding up a bomb. "Say, you wouldn't happen to play the guitar, would you?"
"Please.. I never leave home without one." He grinned as he pulled it out. "So, you strike me as a heavy metal kind of gal. Going big and explosive?"
"High speed tone to it as well, yes." She nodded with a savage smile.
"Then let's rock and roll!"
=======================================================================
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Amity groaned as she pulled herself out of a bush. "You punched a bit too hard there Lucci …" Not that she didn't think it wasn't deserved, that bitch Pearl honestly had lived longer than she needed to, but Amity would've personally bubbled the women, and then shot her into space. Let the solar flares and meteors take care of them. "Luz, you alright?" There was silence. "... Luz?" She looked around … to the street she was in … with a purple sky … "...Purple sky… is this the Boiling Isles?"
She gazed around.. No, it still looked like earth, with the paved streets and several brick buildings and street lamps. Which meant this was possibly another reality like that time with the time thing.. "I better not be dating Lucci in this one." Talk about nightmare fuel.. It was like being Emira and Edric. "Ghost, have you seen this place before?"
"Mew." The air smelt awful and draining … no magic.
"There goes an aerial assist …" She walked down the street. "Maybe I can try reaching a harbor and asking directions from there." It made the most sense to Amity. Poor Luz, who knows where the girl ended up, probably suffering from guilt and confusion as Pearl put all the blame on the Centipeetles and-
Squish
Amity went face first into something soft. "Well, what do we have here?" Arms wrapped around the back of her head. "A cute little thing like you all alone?"
Her face was in something soft … pink… and… round ... round ... breasts.. Her face was deep into two plump breasts…. This would be amazing if it was Luz.. but since it wasn't.. "Ahhhhhh!" She stumbled backwards, getting her face out of the.. Delicate-no, don't think about it. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean.." She felt the blood rush all the way to her face.
"Aww, don't be shy." Another pink woman with two large horns coming out of her head smiled. "We don't bite … unless you want us to." She licked her lips.
There was no way this was happening.. This.. this.. This was something she had out of a dream she had back when she was twelve and really started to get into the idea of dating girls… this couldn't be happening, this REALLY couldn't be happening. "Uh.. sorry, sorry, I just.. Aren't I a little.. Young for you?"
"You smell past thirteen." The first pink woman noted. "And you definitely smell 'into women'." She leaned in close. "Your arousal is … palpable. "
This.. this was getting uncomfortable. "Uh.. I have a girlfriend, and I'm trying to find her and-" The other demon trapped her by the tail, wrapping it around her left leg and making it trip.
"Oh why didn't you say so?" The other one asked. "Just give me her phone number and we can help you track her down."
"... Really?" She asked skeptically.
"Yeah, fourways are always better than threeways."
..Would Luz be into that? They haven't had their own first time yet, but maybe-focus! "I'd rather find her myself, she's been through a lot-"
"So have you.." The first lady began placing her hands on her shoulders. "We can smell it.. Your frustrated from a lot of things… let me guess, parents that don't understand you?"
"I …"
"You spent years disconnected with your friends?"
"I …"
"So many months pining after an oblivious girl?"
"I …"
"A partner on your shoulder pushing away your happiness, along with so many crooks and monsters hurting those you care about?"
These ladies were reading her like a book… this.. This wasn't right, she needed to find Luz. She needed to find her NOW. "I'm sorry, you seem like nice people, but I need to.." Another tail wrapped around her other leg. "I really need to go."
"And me and my partner are really hungry.." They grinned as they got closer… this ... this wasn't how it was suppose to be… this… this wasn't right.. Her first time.. Was going to be with Luz.. and LUZ alone!
"I said STOP!" She strung her magic around their necks, cutting off their air. "Now, leave me-"
"Harder mommy." The second one gasped.
"Aggh!" She let go. "Do you people have any shame?!"
"No. Why do you think we're in hell?"
"Geeze." She rolled her eyes, walking away. "Never heard of someone admitting their city is hell." Usually they were more hidden about the little stuff like that.
"City?" The first woman spoke up in confusion. "Honey, what kind of dementia are you working with?"
"Her skin is white, maybe she's going through that cancer shit that's going on earth."
"Nah, Cancer's a myth, like global warming and zebras."
"Earth?" She blinked, turning to them. "Wait, am I not on Earth?"
"... No." The first woman said in confusion. "You're in hell … born here like the rest of us."
"... Oh god, I'm back in that nightmare universe." The universe where she was dating Lucci… fuck, fuck, oh god. "I'm gonna be sick." She grasped her hand.
"Hey, hey, calm down, you need anything?" The first lady turned to her … before taking off her top. "Boobs? You wanna touch boobs?"
"No! I wanna get back to earth!" She shouted. "MY earth!"
The two girls looked at each other, before laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh, you're funny." The second one laughed. "You sound like a sinner."
"..Huh…what.."
"Should we take her back to Ozzies, see if anything rings a bell for her?" The first one laughed as she snickered.
"Hey, if the king of Lust can't get her in the mood, no one can."
"Mew." Yes Ghost, she was considering running for her life.
=======================================================================
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Gus opened his eyes … inside of a dumpster, great. "Sure, kick me while I'm down, why don't you, it's not like I don't have my dignity in tact." He hadn't been useful for the last couple of weeks, so it wasn't like the karma of that was lost on him. Heck, he still hadn't told Hunter he knew he was a grimwalker, though that whole dream thing Lucci did made him feel a little better about it.. "How did a punch from Lucci get me …" Gus crawled out … looking at the red sky. "... Ah shoot, another dimension."
Well, there didn't seem to be an abundance of people in chains, Lucci in yellow, or Luz with a Collector's skin job, so that meant he wasn't dead.. Hopefully. "Emiline, think you can get us a bird's eye view?" He asked his palismen.
"..." His palismen just stuck out her tongue.. Which was completely normal for her.
"No prism … guess it's just walking until I hear Lucci blowing things up." That's how it usually went after all. "Which means I'll be on the sidelines.. Again… why is it that the last time I felt useful, it was during that food war? I mean, usually I'm more content about my place with everyone.. But.. everything just keeps getting crazier."
Emelia stuck out her tongue.
"Good point, I probably shouldn't compare myself when LAW, Salem, and Cherry all failed." It was just doomed to fail in the end. "But still, I feel I should at least make it easier for everyone, right?"
She stuck her tongue out again.
"What, I couldn't just leave everyone. That's a jerk move even Boscha wouldn't-okay, I don't think I can go that far." He winced. "Doing other magic doesn't really suit me… should I pick up a weapon?"
She blinked.
"No, I'm not going to strap the prism to a bomb."
Another blink.
"No, I won't use Luz's sword either."
Another blink.
"What even is an SR-41 Blackbird?"
She licked his face.
"..I'll save that for if Lucci ever breaks into a military base." Given their track record, that seemed likely. ".Huh.." He started getting a better look around.. Everything seemed like the normal human world ... except there didn't seem to be any humans.. There were… "Demons?" Demons of every shape and size, no two seemed to look alike… and alot of them were wearing bow ties and hats for some reason.
"Maybe this is some kind of weird middle world between the demon realm and the human realm … maybe it's similar to that in between space Luz went to once." That would mean they were a step closer to getting home at least. "Maybe if I ask questions I'll get closer… hey, do I usually talk to myself like this?"
She flicked his ear with her tail.
"I'll take that as a yes …" He sighed, walking down the street …there was a lot of blood.. Signs of a bad neighborhood in the human world, and a sign of a normal butcher shop in the boiling isles.. So in inbetween world…
"Come on ladies, give us the goods." He heard voices argue down the alley nearby.
"Back off, bastard." A woman's voice shot back with a vicious tone. "You don't pay, you don't receive."
"Mugging.." Okay, what were your options here? You didn't like people getting taken advantage of, but you couldn't do much… "Come on Gus, you're an illusionist, a showman, observe and analyze the situation ... this is your bread and butter." Just sneak into the shadows and see what you can do.
Hiding behind a trash can, he saw a group of muscled looking demons, one horse, one pig, and one bat looking one, all three surrounding two lady demons, both with red eyes, one with pale white skin and blonde hair, and another with a auburn tan and curly grey hair. "And I told you, we ain't payin your expensive fuckin prices." The horse growled. "Now hand over the knife, or we'll take it with your heads."
"Why don't we do it anyway?" The pig chuckled. "I could use the warm body for a good night." Freakin disgusting. Not even the most vicious of demons acted like this in the boiling isles.
"Do you have any idea what wrath you'll incur if you follow through on your threat?" The pale one glared.
"With a holy blade we can just take out Carmine if she comes after us, moron." The bat chuckled.
"... How have they lived THIS long?" The pale one asked.
"Regeneration." The tan one groaned. "We aren't giving you anything."
"Then I hope you're prepared for a beating, bitch." Okay, fight was getting intense … time to move! Gus waved his hands, forming a fog that blanketed the area. "The hell!"
"This way!" Gus ran forward, grabbing the girls' hands as he pulled them from the trio.
"What-who the hell are you-" The dark skinned one began to speak.
"Just a concerned citizen, now just crouch down!" He shout whispered as he prepared another illusion. "And to use your likeness …" He created illusions of the two, along with himself, having them run down the alley.
"This way!" The illusion Gus screamed out as they turned a corner.
"After them!" The trio ran off into the distance.
Gus sighed. "Sweet, they bought that." He was so worried he was going to be dragged into a fight. "You two alright?"
The two of them looked at him skeptically, before turning to each other and shrugged. "Yeah, we're fine." The pale one nodded. "Why did you get involved like that?"
"Because you two were outnumbered and looked like you needed help." He explained.
"..Nothing else?" The tan one asked.
"No, not really." He shrugged. "Unless you've seen a kid with black hair, a pink diamond on his stomach, and explosive tendencies around."
"Sorry, not familiar ... you're new around here, aren't you." The pale one asked.
"Yeah. My friends and I were working on something, something was hit a little too hard, and I woke up here." He nodded. "Now I'm trying to find anyone I can so we can regroup and try to head home … either to the demon realm or human realm, whichever comes first."
"...Definitely a new guy." The tan one nodded.
"Probably hasn't realized he's in hell yet." The pale one agreed.
"... Hell?" He asked. "Like … bad place?"
"Crimson inferno, seven rings of suffering, pretty much." The tan on nodded.
"... NOOOOOO!!!" He fell to his knees. "Dad was right! Eating two times your desert makes you a bad person! I should have known!"
Emilia lIcked him.
"You're right, it could have been ignoring the law to help my friends! EVEN JUSTIFIED I'M A MONSTER!"
The tan one snickered. "Hahahah, helpful, cute, and funny." She pinched his cheek. "Kind of a shame you ended up down here."
"YOU THINK!?"
"Relax, relax, it's easy to get on your feet when you know the right people." The pale one snorted. "I'm Odette, this is my sister Clara."
"I'm Gus, and I'm in.. in.. in hell.. In hell, oh titan, I'm in hell." He grasped his face. "... Plus side, Lucci and Boscha are definitely going to be here, so I won't be alone."
"You accepted that easily."
"Not the most traumatic thing to happen to me." Gus nodded. "..So, is this the part where you rip my flesh off or throw me into a pit of fire?"
"Hell's less 'torture you with pitchforks' and more 'you're around the worst people in the world, so deal with it while you live your lives."
"Ah … real surprised Lucci hasn't made more of an explosion yet." Must have been processing it.
=======================================================================
Husk drank some booze as he tried to get sober. Another day of walking up to his 'job' so to speak. Damn Al, making it way too enticing to join with the promise of cheap drinks. Drinking could only make him tolerate the damn hotel for so long though, because it was filled with the most annoying people in all of hell.
Not even mentioning that cheeky deer bastard, there was that horny cockroach Nifty. Luckily she never made any advances at him due to their shared fucked history with Alastor, but that didn't make her constant moans for a dick any less annoying.
Pentious was annoying, and from day one, it was pretty easy to read him as nothing more than a loud mouth loser, someone who tried to be more than he was, but failed time and time again.. Ironically, that also made him the only one who took the whole thing seriously… whether that was out of genuine resolve to get better or desperation, that was unclear.
Vaggie was in the middle of that annoying pyramid, with her constant threats at stabbing him full of holes if he drank on the job. Just give it up, he did what he liked. It was beyond clear she didn't believe in the cause any more than Al or he did, only going as far as she did for her girlfriend's sake… and man did her people skills just plain suck. If Charlie was too naive, Vaggie was too self aware and tried to brush it off.
Angel Dust was the highest of the bunch for a good while. With that flirting and teasing while trying to act oh so high and mighty when he was just on a leash like everyone else, so self destructive and toxic… just like looking into a mirror.. A mirror he wanted to punch and strangle. The porn star alone made him want to quit, fuck Alastor and whatever he had planned for his torture… but apparently, being in the hotel made him feel.. Sympathy or whatever, so now him and the Spider were somewhat on friendly terms.
Then there was Charlie, ms goodie two shoes. Some might say she was the most tolerable of the so called staff, and Husk might have said so outloud, given she gave him the least amount of flack for his drinking, at least compared to Vaggie, but she was just so pushy with that overly happy smile, always telling him 'he always had a chance'. The kid was just too naive to understand his soul was beyond the need to care about salvation. Or that heaven would never give a shit …
The only guy he found tolerable was that slimy I-
Husk was taken out of his funk as he bumped into someone, his bottles falling down a sewer drain. "No …" All that money … all that precious drink … down the drain . He grabbed the bastard. "YOU!"
And was met with a girl that had dead eyes. Not just the hopeless or regular coked out eyes many sinners of hell had…but pure…dead…lifeless eyes that had given up on everything. "Hey … sorry …" Eyes that Husk found on himself every damn day in the mirror.
"..No need, need to stop drinking anyways." He groaned, shaking his head. Fuck, sobriety was always the worst in the afternoon. "What're you in for?"
"Oh you know … every action of my life spiraled into dooming a realm to a mad god." She nodded as if that wasn't crazy. "You?"
"Every action of my life spiraled me into the claws of a psychopathic radio shit talking dear." He grumbled.
"A shame … a real shame." She sighed. "Anyway, I'm gonna go jump off a building for a hot minute. You need anything before I get on that?"
"Wow, you shot to that fast." He deadpanned.
"It's freakin hell, I have an eternity of torment to look forward to." The girl began walking away… which was what Husk should really do.. It was none of his business. It's not like the Hotel would really work, even if it made inches of success with Angel Dust and Pentious ... it wasn't his place to do anything… not his place.. Not.. not his place-
"Ugh, what the fuck's wrong we me?" Why did he have to care about this shit. "Hey kid, stop." He grabbed her by the collar.
"Oh, decided you want payback for the drink after all?" She asked.
"Yeah. Work at a hotel and pay off your debt." Let the princess work on cheering up, this was not Husk's forte.
"..Are you sure there aren't some flesh eating birds you want to feed me too-"
"Jesus kid, can you stop being so fucking depressing?" Husk growled as he pulled her by the collar and dragged her off. "Ugh, you're making me look like the upbeat one." He grumbled.
"Sorry.." She sighed. "..So… what's your name.. Cat.. bird.. Card man?"
"Husk." He groaned.
"Like an empty shell?"
"Exactly." Cause there was nothing inside of him. "You?"
"Luz."
"Like a lightbulb?"
"You speak spanish?" She asked.
"A woman I work with likes cursing me with it." He muttered. "Be aware, the place I'm taking you is going to be the most annoying place of all of hell, half of because the owner's a big fan of musicals."
"..Huh.. that actually makes it sound better actually." God he was gonna regret letting that bottle drop into the drain.