"See ya, friend."
"No, don't hit my face~"
Cosmic Web.
[You have been eliminated and cannot earn a resurrection slot. Reward: Charisma +1.]
[Remaining retries: 199. Would you like to restart?]
Charlie's stockpile of retries was impressive, but what the hell was charisma?
He sat up on the web, rubbing his face where phantom bruises should've been.
"Blackening boosts you a hundredfold. That guy completely ignored the match rules. This time, he's not getting away with it."
With that, Charlie mentally triggered a restart.
Buzz~
The next moment, the void swallowed his figure.
Under the night sky, atop the Empire State Building.
"Hey, Spider-Man—"
Old Steve had just climbed the antenna tower when Charlie cut him off with a wave.
"Don't talk. Go tell Carter that joining Vought's The Seven will rack up tons of fan points."
"Whoa, not bad, Spider-Man. You even guessed Carter's here." Old Steve laughed, hands on hips.
Charlie side-eyed him. "Damn villain, this is as far as I'll help you. Later."
"Wait, I've got more to say—"
Old Steve looked disappointed as Charlie vanished into a portal.
"Ugh~ I don't want to be a villain, but I can't help doing bad stuff. What can I do? I'm desperate too!!"
The old man wailed at the sky. Then Carter leaped onto the tower.
"Where's Charlie?" she asked, scanning the area.
Old Steve shrugged. "You know Spider-Man hates villains. We're villains, so he bailed."
Carter frowned. "Did he say anything?"
"He said… join Vought's The Seven, and—hey, wait for me, don't rush off!!"
With that, Carter and Old Steve sped toward Seven Tower.
Moments later, dazzling cosmic energy shot into the sky, followed by a very pissed-off Homelander.
Meanwhile, in a city corner, Superman spotted the cosmic energy flickering in the night sky and frowned.
"What's that…"
"It's me, your pal, Spider-Man."
A portal bloomed behind Clark, and Charlie stepped out. "From now on, you stick with me. No going anywhere without my say-so."
"Charlie Parker?"
The moment Clark saw Charlie, his tension melted away.
"Great, we meet again."
He smiled, approaching Charlie. "You must be curious why I'm here."
"Nope, not curious. I already warned you not to challenge Batman. And if you do, go all out and take him down."
Charlie gave him a look. "Looks like you didn't listen."
Clark scratched his head, embarrassed. "Batman's a good guy. I didn't want to kill him."
"So you're the bad guy?"
"Uh, no."
"Then why'd you let him kill you?"
"It was an accident."
Clark leaned in, whispering, "Does this world have Kryptonite?"
"Nope."
"Awesome."
Hearing the good news, a gust swirled around Clark.
His eyes gleamed with confidence.
"I'll be back in no time. Spider-Man, let's have a fair and just match!"
"Screw that."
Charlie smacked Clark's head. "Nutcase. Got a place to crash tonight?"
Clark: "…"
"No, I'm broke."
"Use that big brain of yours to land a reporter job. Score us some takeout—I'm starving."
"No problem."
Soon, Clark found the nearest newspaper office.
During overtime hours, he lucked out, borrowing some cash from the receptionist.
On the street, Clark and Charlie squatted, chomping on burgers.
"How'd you pull that off?" Charlie asked mid-bite.
Clark, mouth stuffed, mumbled, "What?"
"How'd you borrow the money?" Charlie repeated.
Clark thought. "I dropped my bio-field. She saw my charming face."
Charlie: "…"
"Who taught you that?" His mouth twitched.
Honest Clark learned to flirt?
No, this was just maximizing benefits within reason.
Clark paused, then looked at Charlie.
"You did."
Charlie: "???"
"Don't talk nonsense. When did I teach you that?" He didn't buy it.
Clark said seriously, "Arthur told me you took off your mask to win Atlanna's heart, and she happily gave you some underwater pearls."
Charlie's face darkened. "Slander, pure slander!"
Clark earnestly advised, "Friend, don't do that anymore. A man should rely on himself."
Charlie rolled his eyes. "Can you spit out that burger you ate?"
Clark considered. "I'll pay that kind girl back."
"Girl?"
"Yeah, a forty-year-old girl. It's basic courtesy."
"Damn, I should be learning from you."
"Low-key."
"Respect."
That night, Clark pawned his watch to secure a place to stay.
Charlie crashed in a rundown apartment building.
The next day, he hit the beach to collect shells.
Spider-Man's new hobby.
Sunshine, sand, babes, bikinis.
Charlie lounged, soaking in the view.
Clark, beside him, got antsy. "We should look for jobs."
Charlie waved him off. "No rush. Let's… chill for a bit."
Clark scanned the bikini-clad women, then offered practical advice.
"You should wear sunglasses. Better for your eyes."
"Good call!"
Charlie reached into a portal, pulling out sunglasses.
The next moment, a curse rang out nearby.
"Shit, who stole my glasses!!"
Hearing this, Clark guiltily lowered his head and edged away from Charlie.
A just Superman couldn't let anyone know he was friends with a thief.
Meanwhile, Deep, whose glasses were stolen, covered his face with a towel.
Last night, a mean old man had chewed him out, leaving his psyche battered. He didn't want to be seen.
He needed a quiet place to heal.
So, he slipped into the sea, summoning his ocean buddies to dive deep.
On the way, he met a sweet, understanding octopus. Man and fish had a blast together.
The spark of love.
Then, that love was hooked away.
"Gimme that!"
Above the sea, Charlie, perched on a spatial web, yanked his fishing rod. A massive octopus flew out, landing at Clark's feet.
"Where'd you get that rod?" Clark asked, covering his face.
Charlie grinned. "Borrowed it."
He grabbed the wriggling octopus. "This is lunch. You cook?"
Before Clark could answer, waves surged, and Deep, riding a whale, surfaced, roaring at Charlie.
"You damn jerk, give me back my love!!"
"Huh?"
Charlie blinked, holding up the octopus.
"No way. You guys don't have reproductive barriers?"
Seeing Deep's nervous look, Charlie fell silent.
Well, no barriers.
This was love!
He raised the octopus, shouting, "Stay back, or I eat it!"
Deep panicked, halting his whale.
"No! You can't!!" He knelt on the whale's back, pleading.
"Please don't eat it."
"I won't, but you gotta pay me."
"Fine, I'll pay. Whatever you want."
And so, Clark witnessed a cash-for-goods deal.
Spider-Man's entrepreneurial secret.
With his first haul, Charlie dragged Clark away.
In Queens, they hit a secluded corner.
"Like games?" Charlie asked.
Clark shook his head. "Love 'em."
"Cool, looks like you don't."
Charlie found the underground arcade entrance, and they descended.
In the arcade, Grandmaster was alone, gaming intensely.
"Hey, buddy, you look lonely."
Charlie plopped beside Grandmaster, grabbing a controller to join his game.
Grandmaster wasn't surprised.
Eyes on the screen, he smirked. "You're early."
"Nah, right on time."
Charlie mashed the controller. His character was reckless, losing health fast.
"Got any allies yet?" he asked.
Grandmaster's character took out an opponent. "Not yet."
"You got a target?" Charlie pressed.
Grandmaster nodded. "Yeah. You got ideas?" He glanced at Charlie.
Charlie smiled. "Team up. You hype me up, I'll give you a slot."
"Deal."
Grandmaster agreed readily, pointing to a corner. "That guy's here. Move fast."
As he spoke, dark magic surged from the corner. Doctor Doom roared, "You treacherous bastard, you tricked me!!"
BOOM!!
Thick dark magic flooded the scene. Clark dove in, his raw power shattering the darkness. Doctor Doom fled in a panic.
As the darkness faded, Grandmaster looked at Charlie, who hadn't lifted a finger, puzzled.
"He got away."
"I know."
Charlie had sent a clone. That guy wasn't escaping.
He set down the controller. "Heard of personality-reversal magic?"
"Of course."
Grandmaster was confident. "I know pretty much everything. It's nasty dark magic. Trouble for you. And me."
"Any way to undo it?"
"Sure. Just get the guy to cast it again."
Charlie grew thoughtful.
"Sounds tough."
Grandmaster smiled without a word.
Charlie knew he had terms.
"Alright, what do you want?"
"Simple. A tense, thrilling game."
"Knew it."
Charlie facepalmed. "What do I do?"
"Find all the contestants, including Doctor Doom. More players, more fun." Grandmaster looked eager.
Charlie shrugged. "Fine. You know where those guys are?"
"Yup."
Grandmaster tapped a virtual computer, showing a globe with red dots.
"I've only found you guys. The rest'll take time."
"How long?"
"Maybe tomorrow, maybe a month."
"Cool, I'll wait."
Charlie stood to leave, checking Clark's status first.
Yup, stable emotions. Good guy.
After the brief chat, Charlie left the arcade.
On the street, Clark was curious.
"Isn't that guy an enemy?" He remembered Grandmaster being a bad dude last time.
Charlie didn't look back. "Batman took you out. You think he's an enemy?"
Clark thought. "We had a misunderstanding."
Charlie liked that answer.
"Good. You're not under personality-reversal magic."
Clark's face darkened. "That's the second time you've tested me. I'm fine, I said."
"Yeah, fine enough to take out your own friend."
"I didn't."
"Right, you didn't."
Charlie's tone dripped with resentment.
Clark couldn't figure out Charlie's deal.
He took a deep breath. "What's next?"
"Hmm."
Charlie glanced at the towering Seven Tower. "Go beat up that guy who's copying your style."
"Why?" Clark wasn't keen on that.
Charlie's answer was flippant.
"No reason. Just keeping the Resurrection Match's comedic vibe."
"If you're not up for it, forget it."
Charlie looked at a roadside screen.
"Carter joined The Seven. Old man's probably next."
He paused, muttering, then walked into a nearby electronics store.
"Welcome. How can I help?"
Hughie, behind the counter, flashed a professional smile. "But hurry up, I'm about to clock out."
Charlie ignored Hughie's attitude.
He wasn't God, after all.
He glanced around, then approached Hughie.
"Buddy, I need an assistant."
"What?" Hughie looked confused.
Charlie grinned. "I mean, work for me. How's that sound?"
Hughie got it, shaking his head. "Sorry, I'm not looking to jump ship—"
"Forty percent raise."
"Deal. I'll quit now. What do you need?" Hughie agreed instantly, rubbing his hands. "I'll need to verify your credentials."
Charlie side-eyed him. "You kidding?"
Crap, he was broke.
Hughie shrugged. "Buddy, you started the joking."
Charlie glanced at him, not pressing further.
As he left the store, he turned. "You'll say yes."
"Nutcase!"
Hughie scoffed, tidying the counter. His girlfriend, Robin, came in.
"Hey, did you bring up the raise?" she asked right away.
Hughie squirmed.
He hadn't dared ask the boss.
He nodded guiltily. "Yeah, he said he'd think about it."
Robin smiled, helping him close up. They strolled the streets, laughing, then started making out by the roadside.
Meanwhile, A-Train sped through the streets, racing along the highway, kicking up trash.
His speed climbed, on the verge of losing control.
Then he saw a girl by the road.
He tried to stop but couldn't.
At that speed, she'd be dead on impact.
He could only sigh at her bad luck.
In a flash, he'd already planned how to handle the aftermath.
But then, he felt eyes on him.
Turning, A-Train's eyes widened.
What did he see?
A figure crackling with arcs, moving at super speed!
And grinning at him.
"No—"
BOOM!!
A blast sent the kissing couple tumbling. A-Train, speeding, slipped and crashed into the electronics store.
CRASH~~
The store was trashed. Charlie, braking, clapped his hands, smiling.
"Perfect. Store's gone. Deadpool's gotta find a new job."